by Sherri Hayes
She pulled my zipper down, the flaps falling to the side. All thoughts of the past slipped from my mind as I became intensely focused on the present.
“Take it out.”
Brianna took a deep breath, reached back up to push my boxers down, and released my cock from its confines. It bobbed slightly and then pointed straight at her. She sat, waiting, watching, her hands in her lap.
I threaded my fingers through her hair, cupping the back of her head, holding it in place. Closing my eyes, I struggled for control. This was another first for us. I wanted to make this last.
Feeling slightly more centered, I looked down. Brianna stared up at me. There was no fear in her eyes, and it washed away any lingering doubts I had about continuing this.
With my left hand, I caressed the side of her face before brushing my thumb over her lips until she parted them. I slipped my thumb inside her mouth and pressed down on her tongue. Instinctively, she relaxed her jaw.
“If at any time you need to stop, to end this, I want you to tap my arm twice. Nod if you understand.”
She nodded.
“Good girl. Now let’s see if that mouth of yours is as good as I remember.”
I stepped closer, the tip of my erection touching her lips. Just the feel of her breath was sending blood rushing from my brain down to my groin. If I waited any longer, I might explode before I ever got to relive the pleasure of her mouth enveloping my cock in its warmth. She wasn’t giving me any indication that she didn’t want this, so I was through holding back.
Allowing my thumb to slip from her mouth, I tangled my hand in her hair and waited to see what she would do. It didn’t take long. Brianna opened her mouth wide, and nearly my entire length was surrounded by her warm, wet mouth.
She bobbed her head and ran her tongue up and down my length as she sucked. It was nothing short of heavenly. As I felt that tightening in my balls, I gathered her hair around my fist and guided her movements. There was something mesmerizing about watching a woman as she used her mouth. Something about watching my erection move in and out from between her beautiful pink lips. Every now and then, I got a glimpse of her tongue as it glided up, down, and around my entire length. The closer I got, the more I needed.
“Relax your throat.” It was all the warning I gave her before tightening my hold on her hair and thrusting in her mouth.
Brianna didn’t miss a beat. She closed her eyes, relaxed, and within seconds I was plunging down her throat and she was sucking with an intensity that sent the last of my self-control out the window. I pulled roughly on her hair as the evidence of my orgasm emptied down her throat. The surge of energy exploded until I was left breathless and certain that I’d just experienced the best blowjob of my life.
I opened my eyes and looked down as I pulled out of her mouth. She gazed up at me, her blue eyes darker than normal, and I knew she’d not been unaffected by what she’d just done. Untangling my hand from her hair, I trailed the backs of my fingers gently across the side of her face, down to the mouth that had just given me so much pleasure.
“Thank you.”
She smiled, and it had to be one of the best things I’d ever seen.
“You’re welcome, Sir.”
I smiled back.
“Be a good girl and fix my pants, and then we’ll go see what you made for dinner.”
Brianna wasted no time doing as I’d instructed, all with a smug smile on her face. I’d been holding off pushing too much, for fear it might trigger a past memory for her. Maybe I’d been wrong to do so. She seemed ready for the next step, ready to explore. Brianna was the one who’d brought up the ropes. She was the one who’d been waiting at the door kneeling. My lunch with Logan couldn’t come fast enough. I just hoped he and Lily agreed.
I helped her stand and then made my way to the table while she checked on the food. She was still smiling as she carried the baking dish over to the table and set it down. If nothing else, she seemed quite pleased with herself.
Once she sat down, and we each had food on our plates, I continued to watch her. She showed no signs of discomfort, regret, or anything other than happiness. It hadn’t escaped my notice when I’d walked in, either, that she was wearing a dress. Brianna always chose to wear pants or shorts. I had to assume her wearing a dress held some significance.
“I like the dress.”
“Thank you.” The smile never slipped from her face, but she lowered her head and blushed. It was adorable.
I thought about beginning our normal, nightly conversation here at the table but reconsidered. Brianna was smiling and happy. Although I didn’t want that to change, I knew there were some serious things we needed to discuss. I also had assignments for her to work on during the week. The topics were almost certain to wipe that smile from her face, at least temporarily, and I wasn’t ready for that to happen yet.
“Did you read any more in your book today?” I asked later, once we were sitting in my chair.
“No. I cleaned.”
I glanced around the room and frowned. The condo was clean when I left. There was no way it should have taken her an entire day. “You don’t have to clean every day, you know. In fact, you don’t have to clean at all if you won’t want to. I used to have a maid who came in three days a week, and I can easily make that happen again.”
“I like to clean. It . . . it helps me clear my head.”
Her hair was still a bit messy from where I’d twisted and pulled it earlier, and I pushed it back out of the way. She was looking down, so I knew there was something on her mind she wasn’t crazy about discussing. My guess was the assignment I’d given her, to come up with three things that had stuck out to her from the weekend. I didn’t care if they were good things or bad things. I just wanted them to be important enough to stand out in her memory.
“Did you come up with three things from this weekend?”
She nodded.
I waited.
For the longest time she said nothing. I was almost ready to scold her when she answered. “Yes.”
I rubbed her arm letting her know I was pleased. “Tell me the first one.”
“I liked the picture of you and your family. I liked . . . I liked that you shared it with me,” she whispered.
Hugging her closer, I kissed her forehead. “I enjoyed that, too. You are very special to me, Brianna. You make me want to share those things with you.”
She snuggled closer, her lips grazing my neck as I held her. It brought back the memory of earlier, and my body reacted. I closed my eyes briefly, trying to concentrate on our current conversation.
“What was the second thing?” I asked, trying to refocus.
“Diane and . . . Samantha.”
I halted the movement of my hand up and down her arm for a moment before resuming. “What about Diane and Samantha?”
“I don’t think Samantha likes me either.”
I heard the words, but I didn’t like how detached they sounded. It was as if she expected to be disliked. “Why do you think Samantha doesn’t like you?”
She didn’t answer right away, but I gave her time to gather her thoughts. “She started asking me questions. I felt uncomfortable, like I was missing what she was really asking.”
“Was this when I was in the kitchen?”
She nodded, her hair tickling my face as she moved.
“Did you tell her she was making you uncomfortable?”
She shook her head. “Diane did. She told her to stop or she’d have to ask her to leave.” Brianna paused. “I don’t like causing trouble.”
“You didn’t cause trouble, sweetheart. That was all Samantha’s doing, I’m sure. You have nothing to feel sorry about. Trust me. You were perfect yesterday.”
I allowed a few minutes for both of us to sit and enjoy the time we had together. It upset me that I’d not been there for Samantha’s little interrogation, but I supposed it had been inevitable. She’d been waiting for the time to pounce and had apparently felt that was her
opportunity. I was eternally grateful to my aunt, however, that she’d jumped in and put Samantha in her place.
Although I wanted nothing more than to hold her all night, I knew there was more to discuss. “What was the third thing?”
“What happened before . . . before we left.”
I could always tell how hard things were for Brianna emotionally by how many times she paused. Easy things that held little emotion for her were said without pause at all. The harder subjects, the ones that either held emotions or she was unsure of, she always hesitated. Either that or she said them with a robotic detachment.
“Your panic attack. Yes, we do need to discuss that further, don’t we?”
She shivered.
“I know it’s scary, Brianna, but it’s not going to go away unless we deal with it.”
“I know.” Her voice was so soft I almost didn’t hear her response.
“I’ll be right there to catch you. I promise.” It wasn’t a vow I took lightly, and I meant every word.
Chapter 13
Brianna
Stephan’s words comforted me, but they didn’t take away the fear completely. I knew he was right. I knew I couldn’t run away from what had happened to me. Even on my good days, which I had more often now, there was no way to forget. Every time I turned around, there were little things. It could be a word, a gesture, or even an object.
While brushing my hair out earlier that morning, I was hit by the memory of being beaten with the back of a hairbrush. The experience had left the back of my legs covered with welts for almost a week. I’d had to stop, close my eyes, and chant over and over again that it wasn’t real. There was no rhyme or reason as to when a memory would hit me. Ones like the hairbrush weren’t as bad as some of the others, and I was able to get them to go away on my own. I was afraid what had triggered my panic attack on Sunday morning would be a little harder to make disappear.
“Do you know what stands out the most for me from this past weekend?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“It was when we were standing in my old bedroom and I was telling you about all those times I snuck out and climbed down the tree. That wasn’t a good time for me in my life, but telling you about it made me realize how much things have changed. How much I’ve changed since then.”
Hearing him talk about it again made me smile, which turned into giggles.
“Picturing me climbing trees in my suit again, Brianna?”
When I didn’t answer, he moved his hand to my side and began tickling me. Before I knew it, I was hanging over the arm of his chair and laughing so hard I could barely breathe.
Eventually, he helped me to sit up, a huge smile on his face. I was panting, but it didn’t seem to matter as he took hold of my face and kissed me.
It didn’t take long for him to deepen the kiss. Soon I was straddling him and had my fingers tangled in his hair. When he broke the kiss, he rested his forehead against mine and chuckled. “It amazes me how easy it is to get sidetracked with you.”
A thrill surged through me at his words. If kissing me was what he meant by getting sidetracked, I liked that.
He kissed me once again and then leaned back in his chair, leaving me sitting astride his lap. “As much as I’d love to forget about everything and take you to bed, there are things we still need to talk about, sweetheart.”
He drew his hands down my side and gripped my hips. It probably took me longer than it should to realize he was holding me in place so I wouldn’t bump the erection that was once again straining against the fabric of his slacks. I glanced down purely out of reflex.
Stephan dug his fingers into my hips and groaned. “That isn’t helping. I need your eyes up here.”
My face heated, and I knew I must have been blushing. Looking up, I met that dark look in his eyes that confirmed his desire to forget everything he wanted to talk about and skip straight to sex. It was strange how much my feelings on the subject had changed, but I didn’t want to question it too much. Sex with Stephan was something I enjoyed and even looked forward to. I didn’t want that to change.
He closed his eyes, and when he reopened them, they were more focused and the intense heat was gone. I couldn’t help but be a little disappointed.
“Before we get into what I had planned for tonight, I want to talk about what happened earlier when I came home.”
When he didn’t continue, I felt I needed to respond in some way. “Okay.”
“How do you feel about what happened?”
I was confused again.
“I don’t understand.”
He began rubbing his hands up and down my thighs absentmindedly. The fabric of my dress moved under his palms, scraping lightly against my skin. It was distracting.
“How did you feel about me pulling your hair and fucking your mouth?”
Time stopped.
“Brianna?”
I didn’t answer. My mouth felt dry all of a sudden.
“Brianna, look at me.”
I looked at him.
“What are you feeling right now?”
I thought about it for a moment before answering. It wasn’t panic or fear exactly. There was some of that, but that wasn’t it entirely. “I feel . . . numb? No. I don’t know. Like . . .”
“Like, what?”
“Like I’m . . . waiting.”
“Waiting for what?” he prompted when I didn’t continue.
“I . . . I don’t know.”
He took my hands and placed them on his chest. “Can you feel me? Feel me under your hands?”
I nodded, and the strange suspended feeling began to fade.
“Better?”
“Yes.”
He smiled.
“We need to talk about this, Brianna. I need to know how you feel, what you think about what happened tonight when I came home. Is that what you wanted? Is it what you expected to happen?”
I curled my fingers into the soft cotton of his shirt. “I . . . I didn’t know . . . what would happen.”
He lifted his right hand and began running his fingers along my scalp as he had when I was kneeling. “I know you’ve said you enjoy kneeling, and you like when I run my fingers through your hair like this.”
I closed my eyes and reveled in the sensations his ministrations brought to the surface.
“What about the rest? You have to tell me, Brianna. I can’t read your mind.”
When I didn’t say anything right away, he tugged on my hair. It wasn’t as hard as he had before, but my body still responded.
He gave my hair another tug.
“I . . . I liked it.”
Then as if to test the theory, he wrapped his hand around my hair as he had before and pulled hard enough to jerk my head back, exposing my neck. I automatically closed my eyes. “Eyes open, Brianna.”
I opened my eyes, the long, straight beams of his ceiling in my direct line of sight. I couldn’t see him, only feel.
He didn’t release his hold on my hair as his other hand snaked up my dress. I gasped as his fingers came in contact with my damp panties.
“Does my pulling your hair make you wet, Brianna? Do you like that?”
It was impossible to nod given the tight hold he had on my hair. “Yes.”
Stephan continued to rub up and down over my sensitive flesh. All too soon, the pressure began to build, and I knew my orgasm was approaching.
“You aren’t to come until I say, Brianna.”
I closed my eyes, trying to hold off what I knew was coming. My body felt overheated, like I was wearing a snow suit on a warm summer day. His lips brushed my skin along the edge of my dress above my breast moments before he moved the clingy fabric out of the way with his teeth. Ignoring my bra, he placed his mouth over my nipple and sucked. The sensation had me crying out.
Seconds later, two of his fingers dipped beneath my panties and plunged inside me. I held on for dear life. It was too much. Too much.
He blew on the wet fabri
c covering my nipple, and a shiver ran through me. This one had nothing to do with fear and everything to do with the wonderful things he was doing to my body.
He loosened his grip on my hair slightly, but I could still feel the controlling tug of his hand.
“Look at me,” he demanded.
I opened my eyes and glanced toward him.
His eyes were dark with arousal. It was a look that used to scare me, but it didn’t from him. Not anymore. Instead, the sight only increased the tension building between my legs to the point where it was almost unbearable. I was trying to obey, to not come before he said. But it was becoming difficult. I didn’t know how much longer I would be able to hold on.
“Come,” he whispered as he scraped his thumb against my clit and bit down on my nipple.
It was as if the world exploded into little shards of glass. I screamed, riding out my orgasm.
Stephan
I would never, ever get tired of seeing Brianna climax, feeling her body quake beneath my hands. She collapsed under her own weight, and I caught her before she lost her balance. I didn’t want her falling to the floor and hurting herself.
Resting her head on my shoulder, I massaged her back and neck as her breathing returned to normal. The events of this evening gave me hope. Hope for our future. Whether Brianna realized it or not, she’d just proven that she could be what I needed in a submissive. Now it was up to her to decide if it was what she wanted for her life.
We sat there for almost half an hour, her arms wrapped around my neck, my hands rubbing her back. It was perfect. I couldn’t have asked for a better way to spend my evening. Unfortunately, I would have to break the spell that had encompassed us.
“How do you feel?” I asked, sliding my hand up into her hair and grazing my fingers over her scalp.
She burrowed her head further into my shoulder.
“Good.” Her response was muffled by my shirt, but I understood her.