by Sherri Hayes
I didn’t answer, and he must have taken that for a yes.
“After I realized you’d been taken somewhere, I did look for you, Anna. I promise you I did. I called in favors with other law enforcement officers I knew across Minnesota. I didn’t file an official missing person’s report on you, but I checked the police wire every day. I looked for anything that might lead me to you, but until last month, there was nothing. Then I had a friend in Minneapolis call saying there was mention of a Brianna Reeves in one of the society pages. It was a long shot, and he didn’t think it could be you, but I checked it out anyway. My heart almost stopped when I saw your picture staring back at me.”
He paused.
“You looked so scared, Anna.”
Somewhere along the way, I’d squeezed my eyes shut. I didn’t want to hear him, but somehow I couldn’t hang up on him either.
“I was served with a restraining order today. It says I can’t come within five hundred feet of you.”
That made me open my eyes, and I was able to take a deep breath for the first time since answering the phone.
“Don’t do this, Anna. I’m your father. I love you. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. Not intentionally. What happened with Dumas . . . it was a mistake. An accident. No matter what happened, I’m your only family. There’s nothing that can change that.”
The phone fell from my hand, and I rolled over onto my side.
A mistake.
An accident.
That’s what he called the ten months I’d spent with Ian.
A sob ripped from my throat as I cried harder. I didn’t bother to wipe away the tears. They didn’t matter. It was all just . . . a mistake.
I reached in my pocket and retrieved my cell phone. My hands shook as I brought it up to eye level so I could dial Stephan. Just as I was about to push the buttons, however, the phone rang, startling me, and I dropped it.
The sound of the phone hitting the floor registered faintly as the blackness crept in. I knew I should fight it, and I tried, but it felt never-ending. The only thing I could hear was John’s voice repeating over and over again that it was all just a mistake, an accident. None of it mattered. Not me. Not what Ian had done. Nothing.
Lying there, I heard the phone ringing, but I didn’t move. The only thing keeping me from sinking into total darkness was Stephan. I wanted to be strong for him. It was just so hard.
There was a noise in the background, but I didn’t know where it was coming from. I had no idea how long I’d been there. Minutes? Hours? Then a voice. Stephan. Was he here, or was I just imagining?
“Oh, Brianna,” said the voice.
Arms lifted me up and cradled me.
Instinctively, I laid my head on his shoulder, breathing in the scent of him. Slowly, the blackness began to fade as I let his warmth sink into my bones. He was here. I had no idea how he knew I needed him, but I held on tight, clinging to the light in the sea of darkness that threatened to consume me.
He brushed his lips against my forehead repeatedly, until I was no longer holding on to his shirt as if I would fall off a ledge if I let go. “Can you tell me what happened, love?”
I shook my head. I couldn’t talk about it. Not yet.
Instead of pressing, he wrapped his arms tighter around me. Closing my eyes, all the tension left, and peace took its place.
It was a long time before I was able to speak. I knew Stephan would want answers.
“Feeling better?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Who called you?”
I looked up at him. How did he know someone had called me?
“The phone was off the hook when I arrived.” The question must have been clear on my face.
“John.”
His chest vibrated beneath me, and an angry scowl formed on his face.
“I should have told you not to answer the phone today. I should’ve known he’d try to get around the restraining order in any way he could.”
“He said . . .”
“Yes?”
“He said . . . he can’t come within five hundred feet of me.”
Stephan nodded.
“That’s right. And if he does, Brianna, you need to let me know and I’ll have him arrested. Even if you see him across the street or in a store, you need to say something. At five hundred feet, you shouldn’t ever be able to see him. If you can, he’s in violation of the restraining order.”
“Okay.”
“I have to ask you, sweetheart. What did he say that made you so upset? Ross called me saying he’d tried your cell several times and you wouldn’t answer. After trying myself, and you still didn’t pick up, I knew something was wrong. When I got home, you were curled up in a ball on your side, crying and rocking back and forth. I called your name, but you didn’t answer.”
“I thought you were a dream.”
He smiled and kissed the tip of my nose. “Not a dream.”
I smiled back, so glad he was here, and hugged him. “Thank you.”
“Always,” he whispered.
We were silent for a while, just holding each other.
“He said . . . he said it was a mistake. An . . . accident.”
I felt Stephan’s hands curl into fists at my back, and I cuddled closer.
“He’s an idiot, Brianna. What happened was that he made a very bad decision, and you paid for it.”
“I don’t . . . I don’t want to see him.”
“And you don’t have to. I’m also going to have the main phone routed to my office. Jamie can answer any calls. Lily and Ross have your cell. That way you don’t have to worry about your father calling again like he did today.”
I nodded, playing with the buttons on the front of his dress shirt. He hadn’t bothered to take off his jacket, so I’d pushed the lapels out of my way. I wasn’t sure what it was about buttoning and unbuttoning his shirt that was comforting to me, but it was and he didn’t appear to mind.
“Tell me what else you did today,” he prompted.
We sat and talked about what had transpired while he was at work up until the phone call from John, but eventually both of our stomachs began to growl. He kissed my forehead and told me to go change into a pair of my pajamas while he ordered pizza.
I did as he asked, but I was a little confused. Since we’d started having sex and I’d been sleeping in his bed, I hadn’t worn pajamas at all. I hadn’t worn anything. Did that mean I wouldn’t be sleeping with him tonight?
When I walked back out into the main room, Stephan had moved the coffee table over to the side, and was laying a blanket out on the floor in front of the couch. “I’m going to go change. Can you get the plates and some drinks for us?”
“Yes, Sir.”
He kissed me as he walked past toward his bedroom, leaving me even more perplexed than I’d been moments before. It didn’t matter, though. I trusted him, so I went to the kitchen to do what he’d asked.
I’d just sat down when Stephan strolled back into the living room in a pair of sleep pants and a T-shirt. It was odd seeing him in pajamas. He normally slept naked, the same as me. Even before, when I’d slept on the floor in his room, he’d worn boxers. I’d never seen these before tonight.
He sat down beside me on the blanket. It was then I realized he had my journal in his hand.
When he noticed I’d caught sight of it, he handed it to me, along with a pen. “I want you to write about your day today. You can include as many details as you want, but I want you to concentrate on how those things made you feel. Start with this morning and work your way through. Don’t skip anything.”
I nodded as the phone rang. Our pizza was here, and he stood to go answer the phone and give the front desk permission to allow the deliveryman to come up to our floor.
The journal was heavy in my hands as I stared at it. It had been a few days since I’d written anything. Although Stephan had encouraged me to write in my journal, he’d not made it a rule.
Opening the front
page, I read over some of the first words I’d written about Stephan. Back then, everything had seemed scary and confusing. Now the things that frightened me were totally different.
Stephan returned to sit beside me, this time with a large pizza in his hands. I glanced over at him and then back to my journal.
“Eat first. Then you’ll have time to write.”
Laying down my journal beside me, I took the plate he offered and helped myself to some pizza.
Chapter 15
Brianna
We didn’t talk much while we ate our pizza, but we rarely did during dinner. It was a little strange sitting on the floor, picnic fashion, in the middle of the living room, but I wasn’t going to complain. The arrangement meant Stephan was almost constantly touching me in some way. At first, it was just our legs bumping each other as we moved. Then it was arms and hands and lips.
He offered me a slice of pizza but refused to give it to me. Instead, he insisted on breaking off a bite and feeding it to me. Once I’d taken the food from his fingers, he smiled and kissed the corner of my mouth. It was something silly, and it made me smile, too.
When we’d both had our fill, Stephan put the remaining pizza in the refrigerator and rejoined me on the blanket. To my surprise, he opened his legs and motioned for me to sit between them. The new position made me feel surrounded by him, even more so than I did when we were in his chair. It reminded me a little of when he held my wrists above my head and pressed against me. Knowing he was there, completely surrounding me, protecting me, made me feel safe. I knew he wouldn’t let anything or anyone hurt me.
He picked up my journal from where I’d left it lying on the floor, and handed it to me. Brushing my hair out of the way, he placed a kiss on my shoulder. “Do you remember what I told you I want you to write in your journal?”
“Yes.”
“Go ahead. I’m right here.”
Taking a deep breath, I opened my journal.
Since he said not to skip anything, I started at the beginning.
I woke up this morning feeling warm. He . . .
I paused, feeling unsure.
“Don’t worry about me being here, Brianna. Write how you normally do. You can use my name.”
Stephan had his arm wrapped around me, his hand on my breast. The sun was shining through the window, signaling the start of another day, but I didn’t want to move. I wanted to stay there in bed with him.
He kissed me, and I felt even warmer. But after a couple of minutes, he left the bed to get ready for work. I could already feel the separation. I didn’t want him to leave, even though I knew he had to. I never want him to leave me.
I glanced up at him. He was watching me, but I couldn’t read the emotion in his face.
He smiled and then gave me a quick kiss. “No stopping now, sweetheart. Keep going.”
I turned back to my journal.
We had breakfast, I made eggs and toast. Then he had to go. I stood just inside the door and watched him leave on the new monitor. When I saw him step into the elevator and disappear from the screen, I finally moved away, knowing I had almost ten hours before I would see him again.
I cleaned up the kitchen and loaded the dishes into the machine before going into the living room and picking up one of the books Lily had brought over for me. I like the book. Jake is funny. He is so out of his element in the city. The only women he’s really been around were his mom, who was a rodeo rider, and a couple of local girls who’d also grown up on ranches. He’s awkward and charming at the same time.
When he met Ronnie, she was everything all the other women he’d known weren’t, and he liked that about her. It made me wonder about relationships in general.
“Go on,” he said when I stopped writing.
I turned my head to the side and pressed my face against his chest. He smelled of soap and something else that was distinctly him. It comforted me and made me want to kiss him all at the same time.
He hugged me tighter to his chest. “Waiting isn’t going to make it any easier. He isn’t here. He can’t hurt you. You don’t have to write down everything that was said. I just want to know how it made you feel.”
I nodded and turned back to my journal.
When the phone rang, I didn’t want to put my book down, but I knew it could be Stephan so I answered it. As soon as I heard his voice, I knew it wasn’t and I began to get nervous. All I wanted to do was hang up, not listen to him, but for some reason, I couldn’t make myself do it.
Then he said . . .
The pen started shaking. Then I realized it wasn’t the pen, it was me.
Stephan took hold of my free hand and squeezed. “Deep breaths, Brianna. You’re doing great. Just a little more.”
I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Like walls were closing in on me and I couldn’t get out. He dismissed what had happened to me like it didn’t matter.
Like I didn’t matter.
Stephan removed the journal from my hands, gathered me in his arms, and laid my head on his shoulder. “You matter, Brianna. You always matter. Don’t ever think you don’t.”
I cried against his shoulder, soaking his shirt. He didn’t say anything, only held me until the crying stopped.
“I got your shirt all wet.”
He ignored my comment. “Are you feeling better?”
“Yes.”
Stephan took my face in both his hands and kissed me. “I want you to do something for me.”
I nodded. I’d do anything for him.
“I’m going to talk to Brad about teaching us some self-defense. We can add it to our workouts. I think it will help you with your confidence.”
“You mean . . . learning to hit people?”
He chuckled.
“Kind of. But I was thinking more learning to get away from someone. I don’t want you to ever feel helpless, Brianna.”
“Okay.”
“Good girl. Now, I think we’ve had enough for one day. Let’s get our shower and crawl into bed. I have a feeling you might want to get back to that book you were reading, and I have some work to do.”
After folding the blanket and putting it away, we took a quick shower before getting into bed. Neither of us wore any clothes, but it didn’t feel strange. It felt natural. Normal.
Stephan leaned back against the headboard and placed his computer on his lap, while I opened my book to where I’d left off. I couldn’t help but smile at how good it felt to be with him like this. Smiling, I began reading my book, getting lost once again in Jake and Ronnie’s story, and really happy that Stephan was here beside me.
At eight thirty Wednesday morning, Stephan called on my cell phone to let me know that he’d talked to the phone company and the phones were now forwarded to his office during the day. He said I’d still be able to use the phone if I needed to, but no one would be able to call me. I released a sigh of relief knowing John wouldn’t be able to call me again like he had the day before.
Lily called on her lunch break to ask if I wanted to go shopping with her the following week since Stephan had mentioned to her that we’d be going to a concert next Friday night. It took a little persuading on her part—I didn’t like leaving the condo without Stephan—but she finally got me to agree.
I had to rush to make dinner. Before I knew it, it was almost four thirty, and I hadn’t even begun to prep anything. I’d been too caught up in my book.
When the monitor flashed, letting me know someone was in the hall, I was still putting the finishing touches on dinner. Although I didn’t think he’d get upset because things weren’t ready yet, I wasn’t sure, and I felt my anxiety level rise. The door opened. Stephan walked inside. I immediately stopped what I was doing and lowered my gaze to the floor.
The sound of his footsteps drawing closer brought with it both a sense of excitement and nervousness. I wanted to make him happy always. I never wanted to disappoint him.
He stood before me for only a moment before opening his arms. I stepped closer an
d hugged him.
Stephan tilted my head back and kissed me. “Dinner smells good.”
“Thank you.”
“How much longer till it’s ready?” he asked, glancing at the pot on the stove.
I looked down, embarrassed.
“Fifteen minutes?”
He rubbed his thumbs over my cheekbones before tapping my chin to regain my attention. “Is something wrong, Brianna? Did something happen today while I was gone?”
I felt even worse. I’d let time get away from me, and now he thought something bad had happened.
“No. I just . . . I was reading and . . .” My face heated. “I lost track of time.”
“Oh.”
Stephan looked toward the couch where I liked to read and then back to me. To my surprise, he chuckled. “Must be a good book.”
“You’re not mad at me?” I knew my eyes must be wide with shock. Did he really not care his food wasn’t ready when he arrived home?
“Of course not. I never told you dinner had to be done at a certain time. Why would I be upset that we have to wait fifteen minutes to start eating? It would be a longer wait if we went out.”
“I don’t know. I just thought . . .”
“Brianna, if you ever want to know how I feel, just ask. You know I won’t lie to you. All right?”
“Okay.”
“Good girl. Now, I’m going to go get out of this jacket and tie while you prepare dinner.” He gave me one last kiss on the lips before going to his room. I turned back to the stove to finish cooking with a smile on my face.
Stephan
The new CFO was finally in his office, trying to wade through the mountain of paperwork that had built up over the last month. It was a blessing, especially since everyone who needed something from me seemed to be coming out of the woodwork. My office started to feel as if it had a revolving door.