by Renna Peak
“Thank you, Doctor,” I say, stroking my mother’s back. It’s almost alarming how calm my voice sounds. Inside, I’m in turmoil. Lost. Confused. I want to shout and throw things. I want to hide myself somewhere dark and alone and far away from this.
You’re not allowed to do that, I remind myself. You have to be strong for your mother. For your family. For your country. You are going to be king, after all.
I have to figure out what I’m going to say to the people of Montovia—as the crown prince, it is my responsibility to inform them of the condition of their king. My stomach clenches. I was already dreading my apology speech tomorrow. Now it’s going to be even more terrible.
I’ll have to talk to our press secretary tonight. Contact the senate and ensure that they know the governmental protocol for this situation. Alert our ambassadors and dignitaries and tell them exactly what information they can or can’t share. Ensure that the news media doesn’t start spreading rumors… And figure out how to notify my other siblings, too, if someone else hasn’t done so already. Nicholas should be easy, but God knows where Leopold is. My head is already throbbing.
And that’s not even considering the things that must be done within this household. My mother is in no condition to help—not that I would ever ask or expect her to—but I might be able to convince William and Sophia to help with that. There’s far too much for one man to do.
And all I really want to do is lock myself in my chambers with Victoria. To hold her in my arms and escape all of this for a few hours. Maybe in the morning it will all start to make sense.
Don’t forget, I tell myself. You should also consider the possibility that your coronation might occur in a matter of days. If your father dies, you must step into his responsibilities as soon as possible. Preliminary preparations should be made, just in case…
Just the thought makes me feel ill again. Dizzy.
I release my mother.
“I…I need to go handle some things,” I tell her gently.
She nods and pulls away from me, dabbing at her eyes. “Of course.”
“I’ll be back here as soon as I can,” I tell her.
She goes back to her seat next to the bed, and I turn and walk back into the parlor.
Victoria stands up the moment she sees me. I long to go to her and take her into my arms, but I maintain my composure.
“William,” I say, “Has the Head of the Senate been notified of the situation yet?”
“I’m not sure,” he says. “But I can find out.”
“Please do,” I say. “And tell him there will be an emergency senate meeting at seven o’clock in the morning. I plan to be there myself, but if for whatever reason I can’t, I’d like you to go in my stead.”
He nods. “Understood.”
“Sophia,” I say, turning to my sister. “I’d like you to make special arrangements for our guests tomorrow. Princess Justine and Lady Clarissa and the others will have many questions, I’m sure, and they are still guests in this palace—we do not expect them to hide in their rooms all day. Make arrangements for their meals.” I almost turn away from her when another thought hits me. “Make arrangements for all of our meals—and make sure everyone eats. Especially Mother.”
“What am I supposed to say to Princess Justine and the others?” Sophia asks. “What should I tell them?”
“I’ll leave that up to you,” I tell her. “In times like this, we are all representatives of our family. I trust you to know how to handle this.” Even though Sophia, as the youngest, has had less experience in the area of politics than the rest of us—and even though she has a bit of a mischievous streak—I know she can handle this.
“I have much business to attend to,” I tell them, “but I’ll have my mobile phone on me at all times. Call me if you have any questions or if anything should arise.”
They both nod and hurry out of the room, which leaves me alone with Victoria in the parlor.
I’m across the room to her in three strides. My arms go around her, pulling her hard against my chest.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” I murmur into her hair.
“Are you all right?” she asks. “Is he…?”
“He’s stable.” I say without letting go of her. “But I have a long night ahead of me.”
“What can I do?”
I tighten my grip on her. “Just stay. Be here with me.” My hand drifts up her back. “God, Victoria, I want nothing more than to lock ourselves away somewhere and block all of this out.”
“I know.”
I inhale deeply, breathing in the scent of her. I know I should move, know I have a whole night of responsibilities ahead of me, but I don’t want to.
“I’m sorry our date was ruined,” I tell her.
“It wasn’t ruined,” she says, pulling back. “And you have nothing to be sorry for.”
“Still.”
She doesn’t say anything for a long moment, and then, “Are you still giving your speech tomorrow?”
“Yes. I should. Only now I need to figure out how to tell everyone about my father without causing nationwide panic.”
“I can help with that,” she says. “I can write something.”
“You can?”
“If you’d like. I want to help.”
“Yes,” I say. “Yes, I’d love the help.” I gaze down at her, warmth spreading through me. In the wake of all of this sadness and fear, she still gives me hope.
I don’t want to let her go.
“May I kiss you?” I ask her softly. “Just once?”
She hesitates. Then her eyes fall closed and she gives a single nod.
Slowly, I dip my head and brush my lips against hers. It’s a soft kiss, but behind it is all of my fear and all of my hope.
It’s a small thing, a kiss. But I know this one is going to help me through the long night ahead.
Victoria
I return to my room and compose another draft of the speech I’ve already written. The royal family has their own speechwriters—not to mention a full staff of publicity people—but doing this makes me feel useful, even if my words never see the light of day.
I can only imagine what Andrew and his family are going through right now. And I know I have no business being here, even if Andrew and I are friends. The whole friendship thing we’ve been talking about for the past few days is complete bullshit anyway, and he certainly doesn’t need the complication of having me around with everything else going on.
I pack the rest of my things and set my suitcases just inside the bedroom door. I’m not going to make a big production of leaving, but I’m also not going to try to slip away unnoticed.
Trying to navigate my way through the palace is pretty much out of the question now—there are too many people around, even though it’s the middle of the night. I’d like to try to find Andrew to tell him goodbye, but there’s no easy way to get to him.
I should try to sleep until morning, but there’s no point. My mind won’t stop racing, mostly with thoughts of what might have happened if only things could have been different.
I choose one of the antique books of poetry that line the shelf on the far corner of the sitting room and try to lose myself in it. I’ve only read a few pages when there’s a knock at my door.
My heart aches—not only because this might be the last time I see Andrew, but because of the circumstances. Because he shouldn’t be thinking of me at all. His focus needs to be on his family. His country.
When I swing the door open, it isn’t Andrew standing there—it’s Sophia, holding a silver covered tray similar to the one Andrew brought earlier tonight.
Her eyes are red and swollen, but she still forces a small smile. “Andrew asked me to bring this for you. Can I come in?”
I nod and step aside to allow her through.
She sets the tray down on the coffee table in the middle of the sitting room before she turns to me. “It’s just chamomile tea and some pastries. But if you want something e
lse—”
“No, this is fine. It’s more than fine. You definitely don’t need to be thinking of me right now.”
She forces another smile and lets out a long breath, her shoulders dropping. “I know he’s trying to keep me busy, bringing tea to everyone.” She nods and clasps her hands together. “It’s probably a good thing, though. Me staying busy. I might do something stupid again if I don’t.”
My brow furrows with confusion, but I nod.
“I…” She winces, and tears form in her eyes. “Can I tell you something?”
“Of course.” I nod and motion for her to sit down in one of the nearby chairs.
She frowns and stares at me for a few seconds before she drops onto the seat.
I sit down across from her. “Can I pour you some tea? If you’ve been out serving everyone else for the past few hours, you probably need it as much as I do.”
Her lips tick up into the smallest of smiles and she nods.
I pull the lid off the tray and pour each of us a small cup. I hand one across to her and motion for her to take one of the pastries as well.
She takes one of the buns and begins pulling it apart before she pops a piece into her mouth, setting the rest back onto the table. She leans back in the chair, closing her eyes—it looks like she’s savoring the bite, but I think there may be more to it than that.
“Is…is there anything I can do, Sophia? For you or your family? If there’s anything, just name it. I think—”
Her eyes flutter open and she shakes her head as she swallows. She takes a sip of tea, grasping the cup between her hands after she’s done, almost as though she’s warming them. “You can do something for me.”
“Anything.”
She nods. Her gaze falls to the side of the chair and she twists her mouth around as her eyes squeeze shut for another moment. She finally looks back over at me. “I’m not sure how to say it.”
“Well…” I blow out a long breath. “Usually when I have something difficult I need to ask of someone, I try to just blurt it out. If I think about things too long—”
“It isn’t that, though.” She winces again. “Okay. I’ll just say it.” She sighs. “What happened today is my fault.”
“Oh, Sophia…” I shake my head. “I’m sure that isn’t true. I mean, I’m pretty sure there’s no way you could have caused what happened to your father today—”
“No, not that.” She sets her cup down on the table and stares down at her hands. “What happened to Andrew. I mean…the story about the scepter leaking out. I may have…” She looks up at me with tear-filled eyes. “I may have mentioned it to someone in the press in Austria last week. I also may have done it on purpose.” She winces again. “I thought…I thought it would help him—I honestly did. I thought that if he could see he was human that he might open his eyes.”
My heart hammers in my chest. I’m not really sure what to say, but I don’t even get my mouth open to respond before she continues.
Her gaze falls to the floor. “I saw how he looked at you. I saw how you looked at him. And I know I’m not supposed to be playing matchmaker, but he was being so stupid with the ridiculous show he was putting on. And then when he invited more women instead of just calling the entire thing off and admitting he loved you…” She looks up at me again. “I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt him so. Had I known how upset he was already… Had I known he was thinking of throwing himself from the roof…”
She shakes her head before she drops it in her hands.
I sit with her in silence until she lifts her head again and looks at me.
“I’m…” I pause. I have no idea what the answer is to this revelation—if there even is one. “I’m not sure what to say, Sophia. I’m not sure that any of it matters at the moment, though. You should probably tell Andrew what happened at some point, but today probably isn’t the best day for that.”
She nods. “I only hope that the news about Andrew didn’t hurt Father.” Her eyes fill with tears again. “I’m not sure I can live with myself if it did.”
I want to tell her that her father was headed down this road long before the news came out in the press this morning about Andrew, but I don’t. Nothing I say is going to reassure her, but I also don’t want anything I say to make her blame herself, either.
There’s another knock on the door, and I walk over to answer it.
This time Andrew really is standing on the other side. His eyes are also red, but it looks more like it’s from sleep deprivation than from tears.
I motion for him to come in, not saying anything.
He freezes mid-stride after I close the door behind him. “Sophia?”
She turns to him, her shoulders drooping. “I served every female in the palace, just as you asked. Mother refused, but I’ve asked Stephan to see that she eats at breakfast.”
He nods and turns to me with a look of confusion.
I shrug and take my seat across from Sophia again.
He walks over and sits next to me. “We still have yet to locate Leopold. Did he or Elle mention anything to you, Sophia?”
She shakes her head, her gaze fixed on her hands that she has folded in her lap. “No. They were keeping to themselves before they disappeared. Mother asked me to leave them alone.” She lifts her gaze, but not to her brother. She looks at me instead. “I know it’s difficult to believe, but I was respecting their privacy.”
Andrew turns his head from side to side, frowning. “Leopold is refusing to answer his phone. It’s almost as though they didn’t want to be found.”
The three of us sit in silence for a moment before I speak. “Did anyone check with the clinic where they met?”
Andrew chuckles. “Of course. Of course that is where they’ve gone.” He turns his gaze to Sophia. “Sister, I know it is a lot to ask, but would you consider—?”
She stands, interrupting. “I’ll be on a plane within an hour.” She gives me a grim nod. “It’s the least I can do under the circumstances.”
“I would ask William, but he’s attending the senate meeting for me in a few hours. And Nicholas is already on a plane home from school.”
“Of course.” She splays her hands in front of her. “You don’t need to say another word. I’m happy to go.” She gives me another strange nod before she turns on her heel and leaves the room.
Andrew pulls my hand into his. “My sister is not taking this well at all. It is a long plane ride to South America—I hope she can handle it. Perhaps…perhaps I should have another member of the family accompany her.” He purses his lips as he pulls out his phone. “Maybe one of our cousins…”
I touch his forearm lightly and look up into his eyes. “I think you should trust her. Let her prove herself to you. If she didn’t want to go, I don’t think she would have said she did.”
He gazes into my eyes for a moment before he gives me a small smile. “You’re right, of course.” He nods. “I will send one of the valets with her, though.”
I nod, forcing a small smile of my own.
He types something into his phone before he places it back in his pocket. “You’re good at this, Victoria.”
“I don’t know about that, but…” My voice trails off as I see the dark circles that have formed under his eyes. “You’re exhausted, Andrew. You should try to rest before you have to give your speech. You said William is going to the senate meeting this morning?”
He nods, rubbing at his eyes with the heels of his palms. “As much as I would like to go, there is no time. They’re moving my father to the hospital within the hour, and I’ll have to do the press conference from there. I’ve had our press secretary invite a few people from the media—people trusted by my father.” He lets out a long sigh. “I apologize, Victoria, that the list did not include…” His voice trails off, but he doesn’t finish the sentence.
I already know his sentence ends with my name. “It’s okay. I wouldn’t have expected to ever cover a matter of state, Andrew.”
He covers our clasped hands with his other and closes his eyes. “Please, please don’t be offended.”
“I’m not.”
He opens his eyes to look back into mine. “I read the speech you sent. It’s perfect. It will be very reassuring to the people of Montovia.”
“Good.” I force a small smile. “You should have as many of your family members there as you can. Both of your brothers if they can manage it.”
He nods. “Nicholas is scheduled to arrive within the next hour or so. William may or may not be able to attend, but I’ll have whomever is available there with me.”
“Standing with you. And Princess Justine. She needs to be at your side, too.”
His shoulders drop. “Victoria—”
I shake my head. “Don’t argue, Andrew. We both know it’s the right thing.”
“I’m in no mood to argue about anything. But I do want you in the room.”
“I’ll be there. I’ll stand in the back. And I promise not to make a scene.” I squeeze his hand. “And when you’re done, I’m going to go—”
“Don’t.” He turns his head slowly from side to side. “Don’t say you’re going to leave. We…we never finished our date. And—”
“I’ll finish it in my head, Andrew.”
He turns, wrapping his arm around my waist and almost pulling me onto his lap before he tips his forehead to mine. “It’s not enough.”
“It is, though. You’ve given me more than I ever could have hoped for. More than I deserved.”
He drops his forehead to my shoulder, shaking his head against me.
I reach up and thread my fingers in his hair, holding him there for a moment before I tilt my head to kiss the top of his. “I’m sorry.”
He lifts his head and looks into my eyes. “You have nothing to apologize for, Victoria.”
I tilt my head. “I wish I could be more. I wish I could give you everything. I…” My eyes fill with tears. “I wish I was enough.”
He squeezes his eyes shut, his jaw tightening for a second. He opens his eyes and tips his forehead against mine again. “You, Victoria, are so much more than enough.”