“You horrible, awful child. Where is all of this coming from? Did you get dumped? You are not acting like yourself. What has gotten into you? Are you drunk?”
“I wish,” I said. “Well, thank you so much for giving me another five minutes of your life today, Mother, but you won’t have to worry about me wasting another minute of your time. Ever. This relationship we have is over. I can’t keep carrying you around. You are free to do whatever you like. You never have to worry about me again, and I won’t worry about you. We know you will always land on your feet. I’d suggest you hurry up and find yourself a man that will put up with you because you are not getting any younger, and the bed-hopping thing isn’t going to work for you forever.” I wasn’t trying to be mean. I felt like she actually needed to hear it.
“Shut up,” she growled. “You don’t know shit about my life.”
I smiled and shook my head. “No, I guess I don’t.” I got to my feet, having no desire to share a meal with her. “Goodbye, Mom, and good luck. I do hope you will find someone that can make you happy.”
“I’ll come by tomorrow. You seriously have a bug up your ass.” She rolled her eyes.
“No. Don’t. Don’t come by, and don’t call me. I can’t do this anymore. I have to move on with my life and try to salvage it.”
“Whatever, Eliana. I don’t know when you turned into a drama queen, but it is really unflattering.”
I laughed as I walked out of the restaurant. I felt free. I was sad to lose the only family member I had, but I was also so relieved, I felt like I could touch the sky.
I started my walk home, mulling over everything she had said. I felt like a balloon that had just been popped. The initial relief I felt faded, and I was left feeling completely drained.
“Oh my god,” I whispered, realizing what I had done.
By the time I made it back to my apartment, I realized I was one messed-up woman. I thought about what I was feeling in that moment and realized I didn’t want to do that to Cade. I was in no shape to be in a relationship.
I wanted to think that with some time, I might be ready to try, but I didn’t know when that would be. Cade deserved someone now. He was a handsome, kind man that needed a woman that could love him with her whole heart.
I didn’t have a whole heart. I had a very broken, damaged heart that was incapable of real love.
I thought about what my mother had likely done to my father. She probably messed him up. I had seen how that ended for him. I didn’t think I had her power of persuasion or whatever it was she wielded over men, but I didn’t want to cause him any pain or frustration.
I grabbed my phone and was a little bummed Cade still hadn’t called or texted. Maybe the problem had solved itself. I didn’t think he was the kind of man to use a woman for sex, but it was a possibility.
I sent him a quick text, asking if we could talk.
I held the phone, waiting for him to reply. My stomach churned, and a profound sadness weighed heavily on my shoulders. I felt like I had run the full spectrum of emotions in thirty minutes. It was all a little overwhelming, and I would have loved nothing more than to walk into his strong arms and let him hold me. But I was on my own.
I needed to get my shit together before I even thought about trying to date or anything else.
Chapter 31
Cade
I had just stepped outside to get some fresh air when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. It had been a long night, and I was almost too tired to bother checking it.
My dad had awoken at one point, but the pain had left him incoherent. My mother and I insisted the pain meds be increased. It lulled him into a peaceful sleep once again. We were told his time was short over and over, but he kept holding on.
It pissed me off that he was still fighting when his body had given up on him. The doctor assured me there was no chance. I kept thinking if he was still fighting, then there had to be a chance he could beat the cancer.
I pulled out my phone and rubbed a hand over my eyes, which felt like sandpaper had been scraped over them. It was a message from Eliana. I winced, feeling like an asshole for forgetting to text her again. Things had been a little hectic.
Her message said she wanted to talk. Instead of texting her back, I called. I wanted to apologize in person, or in voice rather.
“Hi,” I said, my voice gravelly from lack of sleep.
“Hi,” she said, sounding a bit stiff.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call earlier,” I said.
“It’s fine,” she replied, her tone cool. “I’ve been busy.”
“Is everything okay?” I asked, sensing she was pissed.
“It’s fine. Well, no, it isn’t fine,” she quickly added.
I nodded, prepared to apologize for my absence. “I’m sorry I didn’t call yesterday or the day before,” I started.
“It’s fine. I didn’t call you either. I was hoping to talk to you in person, but you weren’t at work yesterday.”
“No, I—”
She cut me off. “Look, there’s no easy way to say this. We can’t see each other anymore.”
I blinked, wondering if my brain was too tired to hear straight. “What?”
“This thing we were doing, it’s over. I can’t be involved with anyone right now.”
“I don’t understand. Everything was fine the other day. Did something change?”
“No—yes, it’s me. I don’t want to be with you or anyone. I’m just not up for that. I did have fun with you, and you’re a great guy.” She said the last phrase as if that would just magically make everything better.
“Look, Eliana, we can talk about this,” I said. “I know I’ve been absent, but I was giving you a day or two.” I hoped she was just a little angry and I could still smooth things over.
“I’m sorry, Cade, but this thing we had is over. It’s better to just end things now before it gets any harder. It’s just not going to work. Goodbye.” She ended the call.
I turned the phone over to stare at the screen. “What the hell?” I muttered.
“Is everything okay?” I heard my mother’s voice.
I turned to see her coming out of the hospital, and she sat on the bench beside me. She didn’t need to know my problems. She had plenty of her own to deal with. I slowly nodded. “It’s fine,” I muttered.
She smirked. “Yes, I can see how fine it is. You look crushed.”
“It’s been a rough night, Mom. I just found out my father has hours to live.”
“Your phone call didn’t go well,” she stated.
I sighed and shook my head. “No, it didn’t.”
“Is it your shop?”
“No.”
“Cade, you can talk to me,” she said.
I turned to look at her. We’d never been all that close. When I was younger, she’d been my everything. And then I got older, and things changed between us. I realized she was never my ally, but my father’s. “I’m fine.”
“Son, I know things are difficult. I know I should have been a better mother. Can we please try to have a better relationship? I would like to know what is going on in your life.”
I knew it was a second chance to have a real relationship with my mother. I’d missed out with my dad, but she was extending an olive branch, and I wasn’t going to turn it down. My dad’s illness was a stark reminder of just how short life was.
I didn’t have a guarantee tomorrow would come for me or her. I couldn’t put off trying to mend fences. It was now or it could very well be never. I didn’t want to lose another parent without at least trying to restore the relationship.
“I was seeing a girl, and she just told me she doesn’t want to see me anymore,” I said.
“Oh goodness, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were seeing anyone.”
“I wasn’t. I mean, not officially. We met at the benefit and have gone out a few times.” I left out the salacious details.
She nodded. “I see. And she just called to end it with
you?”
I laughed. “Technically, I called her, but yes.”
“What happened?” she asked in a gentle voice.
I shook my head. My brain was fried. I couldn’t even begin to think what I might have done wrong. “I honestly don’t know. She has told me from day one she didn’t want anything serious, and I can understand that. But there is something between us. I can’t quite put my finger on what it is, but she feels right. I really like her. I think about her all the time. I’ve been trying to give her space and not come on too strong. She is hard to read.”
My mom got a wistful smile on her face as she stared at the fountain in the center of the courtyard outside the hospital. “I can understand that. Your father and I did not immediately fall in love. Actually, he claims he knew he loved me when he saw me, but I didn’t feel the same way. I wasn’t sure he was the man for me. I turned him down so many times I lost count.” She laughed softly.
“Really?” I asked with surprise. My parents weren’t the type to profess their love for each other. They just kind of were. They’d been together so long, they just kind of knew what the other was thinking.
“Really,” she answered. “He was persistent. He wouldn’t let me forget about him. I finally agreed to go on a date with him. It was the first time I let myself really see him, the man behind the shabby clothes and the cocky attitude.”
“Dad had a cocky attitude?”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, my heavens. He was so arrogant. He didn’t have any money, but he knew one day he would be a rich, powerful man. He told me I had to marry him, or he could never be successful. I can’t tell you when it happened, but one day, I just knew. I knew I would marry him.”
“Was it before or after he started his company?” I asked, wondering if money influenced her change of heart. Deep down, I was worried that my lack of wealth was what had discouraged Eliana from being with me. I didn’t want her to come back to me just because I might inherit my father’s estate. I still didn’t believe that was truly the case.
She scowled at me. “Are you suggesting I only got with your father because of his money?”
I shook my head. “Mom, I really want to know. When I met Eliana, it was at the benefit. She assumed I was wealthy. I didn’t tell her I wasn’t. We went out a couple of times. I have a friend who hooked me up with free tickets to the ballet and called in a favor to get me into one of the best restaurants. I pretended to be rich. It took me a bit, but I realized I couldn’t keep up the charade. I told her I was just a poor man who was crazy about her. She said she didn’t mind my lack of wealth, but part of me has to wonder if that’s what changed her mind.”
“You are wealthy,” she reminded me.
I shook my head. “No, I’m not. He’s not gone.”
“He is gone, son. His frail body just hasn’t realized it yet.”
“I don’t want her to want me because I have money.”
“The answer is yes,” she said. “Your father and I got married a year before he started his business. Together, he and I built that company. I worked alongside him for five years before I got pregnant with you. By that time, it was established, and I didn’t need to be there.”
“I didn’t know,” I said, feeling a little guilty for insinuating otherwise.
My mother shrugged. “It’s okay. It’s a valid question. It’s why your father sent you to those schools. He wanted you to meet girls that were in your same social class. He didn’t want you to be hurt by a girl who was only after you for the family money.”
I smirked. “I had no money, and there was never any worry about any girl wanting me for anything. They were more interested in the guys that played sports and were smooth talkers. I could barely say two words to a girl.”
“You were and are a handsome young man,” she said, patting my leg.
“You have to say that. You’re my mom.” I laughed.
“No, it’s true. You were always a handsome boy, but you never realized it.”
“Thanks. We should probably go back in.” I realized we’d been gone for thirty minutes.
She sighed. “Yes, we should.”
Together, we headed back to my father’s room. The blinds had been closed, casting the room in a state of gloom. Death hung in the air, as if it was waiting to claim him and growing impatient with his delay.
My dad didn’t know how to quit. We knew it would be soon. Like my mom said, he was already gone. It was only his body lingering. It was a small comfort to know the man I knew and loved wasn’t suffering.
I stood on one side of the bed and my mom on the other. She reached down and took his limp hand in hers. She ran her hand over the top of his. “Choose what makes you happy. Always follow your heart.”
I thought she was talking to my dad until I felt her looking at me. “Me?”
She grinned. “Yes, you. I want you to be happy. If working at your gelato shop is what makes you happy, then I support you. If you want that girl, you keep asking her out. If you feel that connection with her and you think she feels it with you, then you have to persuade her.”
I smirked. “Easier said than done.”
“Anything worth having is difficult. If it were easy, the world would be boring.”
I smiled, appreciating her advice. “Thanks, Mom. I’ll do what I can, but she is a stubborn woman.”
She laughed. “That is the best kind. You Kouris men need a stubborn woman.”
I grinned. “I suppose we do.”
We both fell silent, staring down at my father who looked like he was taking a nice nap. I thought about what my mom had said. I had never really thought about my parents having a happy, loving marriage. I realized I had been wrong. Seeing her look at him with such profound sadness was difficult. It made me rethink everything I had ever thought about my dad. He loved her. They loved each other.
I watched as she leaned down and kissed his forehead. “I love you, Lorenzo,” she whispered. “You go now. I’ll meet you there.”
My heart felt like it was being squeezed to the point it couldn’t beat. Loss. Regret. Sadness. It was weighing me down.
I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep up the strong and supportive son role. I looked at my dad again and thought about how hard he was fighting.
I could last a little longer, for as long as I needed to.
Chapter 32
Eliana
I was in a horrible mood. I hated everything and everyone. I couldn’t muster the energy to smile. I felt like throwing things and screaming at people. I was in no shape to be at work, but I was also not in shape to miss a day either. I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t.
I hated not having choices. I hated not being able to do what I wanted. The urge to stomp my feet and have a good cry was strong. I walked into the kitchen, dropped my tray on the table, and scowled as I waited for more glasses of champagne to be filled.
“Hey,” Lola said, coming in behind me.
I frowned at her, too pissed to even say hello.
She scowled at me. “Woah, you need to put that look away. I didn’t stab you. I said hello.”
“I can’t put it away. It’s my face.”
“Rawr!” she teased. “Someone is cranky. Do you need a nap?”
“Stop it. I’m not in the mood. Really. I just can’t. Not today.”
She scoffed. “No shit. What’s your problem? I thought you were getting laid regularly. Did he cut you off? Is it time to find you a new man?”
I snatched the full tray off the counter and walked out without saying another word. I knew she was joking, but my sense of humor was gone. I had no humor left in me. My life was too much of a clusterfuck to have humor in it.
I didn’t mean to act like a bitch toward her, but if there was anyone in the world who could understand why I was in such a horrible mood, it was her. I had dealt with plenty of her bad moods and hangovers. Lola could take bitch to new levels. My attitude was nothing compared to the shit she could dish out.
When my tray was empty, I headed back for the kitchen to grab another round. I checked the time, anxious for the night to be over. I wanted to go home and sit in the dark and pout and be angry and curse my mother for ruining my life.
I fully blamed her and her selfishness for the pain I was going to endure for the rest of my days. She had chosen to keep me instead of doing the humane thing and giving me to a family that would have cared for me.
The worst part was I couldn’t even bring myself to hate her. I felt nothing but disgust and maybe even a little sympathy for her. She was a miserable human being and would never change. One day, I had to believe the consequences of her choices in life would catch up with her. When that happened, she was going to feel like shit.
“Dammit!” I cursed when one of the other waiters bumped into me. “What the hell? Watch where the hell you’re going!”
“Out, now,” Lola said before grabbing my hand and dragging me toward the side door.
I tried to dig in my heels. “Stop. What are you doing? We have to serve.”
“We’re taking a break,” she said and didn’t stop walking. She kept moving until we were outside, in the same place I had first laid eyes on Cade. It was about the last reminder I needed.
“I don’t want to take a break,” I said. “I want to get in there and finish serving so I can go home.”
She stopped walking, turned, and pushed on my shoulders, forcing me to sit down. I begrudgingly did it, my arms folded over my chest as I pouted.
Her stern gaze met mine. “Tell me what’s going on, and don’t say nothing because it is obviously something.”
I looked beyond her, staring into the night. “I talked to my mom.”
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