“Sure… Sorry.” Sue wiped her eyes. “He came after me. He was strong, I mean I was pretty tough but he was massively strong. He overpowered me…”
“Oh, shit! Sue!” I dropped the bridle and hugged her. She sniffed, wiping her eyes and shifting away from me.
“It’s okay, it was a long time ago. Of course, I tried to tell his wife, she just blamed me. I’d ‘led him on’, I was a nasty slut. Similarly, the police wouldn’t listen. He was the lord of the manor, a well-respected MP and I was clearly just some young groom out for a quick buck with a half-baked blackmail scheme.” She shook her head. “It just escalated, I was thrown out of my cottage, not that I would have stayed, but bailiffs came at midnight and dragged me out of bed. I had nothing, just some clothes and a few belongings. It was made clear if I said anything, they would find me. They even threatened to set the dogs on me.”
“I ended up here. I’d been on the streets for a while. I don’t know why I came to London but Anne saved me, she gave me a job, didn’t ask any questions.” She smiled wanly. “So here I am. Damaged goods.”
“What! No… What he did to you!”
“What he did to me was my word against his.” She sighed. “You learn quickly that a powerful man, supported by a ‘loving wife’ and support of the establishment can say what the hell they want. It was made very clear that I was nothing. Oh, please Mandy, don’t get upset.” She reached over and wiped away my tears. “I’ve moved on. I promise myself that one day I will get my revenge, but, until then I will pass my days under the arches, hiding here like a stable rat…”
“Oh…” I fell silent.
“I’ve upset you, Mandy… I’m sorry, I didn’t intend to. Please, don’t you worry about me. I’ve found my place among friends. I finally feel safe. You should do too. We may be living in squalor, but we live a good life really, ‘cos we’re all free.” She stood up. “Don’t you spend too long doing cleaning tack, you don’t want to miss another delicious meal, I’m told it’s corned beef hash. I presume it’s corned beef, I haven’t seen as many rats around these parts and, well you never know…” She winked as she left the room.
I sat for a moment in silence. I admired her strength, she had managed to keep going, despite everything. It was clearly true what she said, we all have a past, it seemed that mine suddenly didn’t seem as tough as I had imagined. I sighed, putting the bridle I had been cleaning back together.
***
Stepping into the living quarters there was a general greeting from the assembled girls who were sat around the dining table, digging into a steaming casserole dish.
“Here.” Jane stood up and pulled out an empty chair, she started to spoon food onto an empty plate. “Surprisingly it tastes quite good, however, I’m sure normal service will resume tomorrow!”
I was famished, a long day of hard work had built my appetite and the meals in the care home had prepared me for almost anything which was placed in front of me. The food was warming, soon my plate was empty and I was yawning.
Jane laughed. “You look, knackered girl! Have a bath and get an early night. I don’t think there is much excitement planned here tonight.”
I nodded and slipped away, acknowledging the cheery good nights.
***
“So?”
“Anne, I’ve never taught anyone…”
Anne laughed. “Look, you’re a good rider. You’ve had lessons yourself so you know what’s required. I need someone to teach today. You’re the most suitable candidate. Just keep them happy and try to make sure they don’t fall off, well at least not too often.”
I walked towards the indoor school, there were a collection of children on ponies gathered in the centre of the ring. “Hello?” The girls turned to face me. “I’m Amanda, I’ll be your instructor today. So, lead your horses out and go large…”
What started with apprehension on my part soon turned into a totally enjoyable experience. The girls were jolly and simply happy to be riding the ponies, as I got them to walk and trot in turn around the track and in circles they were smiling and cheery. It was all too soon when Anne caught my eye, pointing at her watch. In all that day I spent another six hours teaching, taking different groups of children and teenagers before a final group of adult weekend riders. I pulled my riding hat off as I said goodbye to the last of the riders.
“I’m impressed.” Anne stood in the doorway of the indoor school. “The feedback has been excellent, the young girls particularly loved the gymkhana games you played with them, they’ll all be back, so Thank you, we need the money. There’ll be a bit extra in your pay packet on Monday.” Anne paused, glancing at my shocked face. “I know, you didn’t even ask about wages. I’ll look after you as much as I can. I do for all of my girls.”
“Thank you.”
“And, one day this will set you in stead for your future. You’re too smart to be a groom for ever. Right, run along now, you’ve worked hard today. I really appreciate it. Thank you, Amanda!”
***
The days passed, I soon got into a routine, waking and feeding the horses before mucking out and grooming, teaching lessons and cleaning tack. Every evening I would follow the others into the dining room for sustenance and conversation and good natured arguments before falling asleep on the sofa in front of the television and having to be shaken awake to retire to my sagging bunk.
Every day I waited for someone to come calling for me. The first few days were the worst, jumping every time someone called my name or when a car pulled into the yard. I was sure social services would be out looking for me. Here I was, just sixteen years old having run away from a children’s home. Yet, it seemed they hadn’t found me or, they didn’t care. I was just one more runaway orphan, another sad statistic.
After a month I had properly settled into the routine, nobody asked about my history and I didn’t volunteer it. I was a hard worker and so earned the respect of the staff, especially Anne who took me under her wing.
***
“Come in…” Anne was sat behind the desk in the office, the stables diary open in front of her. “Sit down. I’m impressed with you, Amanda. You work hard and the others speak highly of you. I want to put you forward for your teaching qualifications, let you become a recognised riding instructor. Is that something which you would like to do?”
“Oh, Anne yes! But… Look I don’t think I can afford to do that. You pay me well but…”
“Amanda, forget that… The pay is rubbish as is everything else. I’m sorry I can’t pay you more, but what I can do is to at least try to help you out a bit while you are here. I know you’ll not be here forever.” She waved her hand at my protests. “No, you deserve better than here. Many of us are settled, this suits us, but you’re young and I hope ambitious. This will give you something for your future. Think about it, but I want to help you.”
Talk of my future, I was starting to feel that I may have a future. In care I could only ever see the four walls, but now I was free and my life was finally my own. Maybe I could allow myself to dream. To become a recognised instructor was a vital first step, maybe, just maybe one day I could be like Anne and offer opportunities to other young people. Ah, but that was a life time away, one step at a time, but at least the steps were finally in the right direction.
4
Show Time
I’d been up for hours. The sun was only just rising, the stables had been quiet when I’d arrived, but it would have been impossible for me to have slept any longer. I’d slipped from my bed in the early hours, excited to get started with the shampooing and grooming that came before a big show like the one I was attending today.
My mum always moaned that she could never wake me for school, it was right, I had no interest in the hours spent in the classroom when I could be outdoors riding. However, on a Saturday morning in late August with the sun rising, promising a day of heat and parched grass I was up and out before dawn.
This was my last show of the season, the last hurrah of the summer. School w
ould start on Monday, but there was just one tantalising weekend show left. One more chance to capture a coveted rosette which could be added to the others in the horsebox. Of course, there were other shows later into the autumn, but with school to attend I wasn’t allowed to compete at those. Oh, I dreamed of the days when my life could be my own. Coming down to my own yard, my own horses, planning for a weekend show whenever I wanted.
“Now I thought you’d be here.” I looked up. Mum was smiling. “I don’t suppose you’ve plaited Prince for me?”
I beamed, I’d been so early I had washed, groomed and plaited all our horses. My Bella, the smart and quick piebald who was so willing to jump and would do anything for me when it came to the excitement of the arena, Prince, Mum’s bay gelding who looked permanently half asleep with his long eyelashes closed over his eyes until the last second when he could clear a jumping course with the agility of a stag and of course Peanut, Adam’s chestnut pony.
Adam had caught the equestrian bug, well, it was a requirement in a family of riders. Even dad, who preferred hunter trials and chasing to the formality of showjumping was a dedicated equestrian.
We chatted together, mum and I. The classes I was entered into, the rosettes I would win. There was the usual moaning from me about having to lead Adam in the gymkhana classes. Mum turned to me.
“Amanda Katherine Bishop… You need to look after your little brother. He looks up to you and someday you will be everything to him. So, you have to run with Peanut for a few classes. Mark my words young lady he’ll ride rings around you in years to come!”
I’d laughed, but knew she was probably completely right. Even though Adam was still on a lead rein at shows, at home he was already jumping his tiny pony. He had no fear, if he tumbled off there was no tears or tantrums, he would catch his horse, laugh and try again. He honestly would be unstoppable, I supposed I had better enjoy my victories while I had them, he would grow up so fast and then I knew that he would be the better rider. He understood horses naturally, he could ride before he could walk.
***
There was the usual flurry of packing the horsebox as I panicked about missing reins and wanting to repack and double-check everything. Adam was cool, he had strolled out knowing that his sister would have prepared his pony for him. I realised he was young, but I still felt put upon. I had said so to my riding instructor, she’d laughed saying that, on the whole, girls were more likely to become more deeply involved with horses. Wanting to concentrate more on their care and preparation, taking time to make them look pretty with plaits and quarter marks, whereas boys would more want to ride, desiring the speed and agility. She’d said although there were exceptions, I wouldn’t change the world single-handily.
With mum in the passenger seat of the cab and dad behind the wheel, Adam and I sat in the living area behind. Our horsebox was nothing special, hell, we weren’t rich, not compared to those who would arrive in great lorries with space for six horses, driven by their groom who would be at their beck and call. However, I knew just how lucky I was as I looked out the window. It was a beautiful sunny day, it was still the summer holidays, just. And I was going to beat Hilary Temple-Jones, the very thought of it made me smile.
***
I led Prince up for mum, there she was in her brilliant white breeches and the long boots dad had spent hours polishing. Once in the saddle, she was completely in command, first jumping the warm-up fence with ease and then going into the arena. Watching her jump was as if her horse was on rails. She would approach each jump at speed, Prince clearing it with miles to spare. She cut a corner tight, there was a gasp from the crowd but she made the final jump and was patting Prince. I was sure she did it for show. That last trick for the crowd to keep them on the edge of their seats.
Adam had done well in the walking and trotting race, kicking Peanut on and hissing for me to run faster. In the end, it was a close finish and, although he was gracious enough to not say it out loud, I was sure he blamed me for my stumble near the finishing line losing him a winning rosette. However, he was kind enough to thank me with a hug before going off with dad in search of the ice cream van.
Bella was looking beautiful, I mounted up and mum gave my boots a final polish. I rode into the warm-up area, lining up to take a jump but being cut up by Hilary Temple-Jones who crossed my line. I pulled up hard. Hilary fluffed the jump causing her mother to have to run in to rebuild it. She scowled at me, angrily cursing me getting in her way when the opposite was true. I was about to speak when I saw my mother with a finger on her lips. She was right, the truly great competitor didn’t make a fuss or moan. They waited for the main arena and showed their style there. She’d taught me that when I had been on a lead rein myself and had howled when I missed out on a second place in the bending race some years before.
“Be strong, but be quiet. Never let them see they’ve upset you. Just bide your time and beat them fair and square.”
I hadn’t really appreciated her wise words immediately, however, I realised as I watched more entitled Pony Clubbers make fools of themselves making a scene at shows or having public and humiliating tantrums that the way forward was to be stoic. The class was fought only in the ring.
The ring steward called me forward and I rode into the arena. I could hear my name being announced on the crackly PA system and I was off. I had the course in my mind, I had ridden it so many times in my imagination but now it was just me and Bella. The outside world went silent, I counted my strides approaching the first and we were underway.
***
When I’d ridden my lap of honour mum had been clapping and cheering. She took Bella from me as I dismounted, giving me a wonderful hug.
“Well done! Have you seen Hilary?” She gestured across to my nearest rival, I had beaten her soundly and she was yelling at her parents having flung the reins of her massively expensive show pony at her mother, who, in turn, had handed them to their groom. I wanted this moment to last forever. The sun beating down on me, sweat dripping from my riding hat as I pulled it from my head and ran my hands through my damp hair. There was the smell of fried onions and horse muck in the air, a strange combination which was no doubt rancid to anyone who wasn’t part of our world.
Dad hugged me, he was proud and also pointed out Hilary and was unduly pleased with her downfall. Of course, her father was my dad’s boss so there was some, albeit friendly rivalry between them.
“So what do you two want for tea? Maybe, once we get the horses home and settled we can go out to celebrate our wins!” My dad clapped his hands.
“Pizza!” Adam bounced excitedly.
“Maybe. Right, horses first.”
My mother was always the voice of reason, the horses would always come first and our own comfort was secondary to them.
***
The horses loaded well and we were soon back in the horsebox and on our way home, Adam sleeping beside me with his head nestled in my lap. Mum turned and looked back.
“I know it’s going to be during school time, but perhaps we could go to the Westfield Show next month? It’s supposed to be…”
***
I lay in my bunk. I would never know what the Westfield Show was supposed to be. I’d screamed, my mother turning in her seat just as the truck smashed into our horsebox. I could hear the smashing of glass and metal, the falling and the pain. My fear. Tears ran down my cheeks, the sound of a late train rumbled overhead bringing me back to my reality.
I couldn’t remember my mothers face.
5
The Passage of Time
“Happy birthday Mandy!”
“Sue you daft cow! It’s not my birthday…”
“No Mandy, it is. You joined our little gang exactly one year ago today, that was the birth of your new life, the new you, therefore, happy birthday new Amanda!” She hugged me warmly. “Look, whoever you were before, you are now someone totally different now. Oh, and to that end.” She handed over an envelope. “A little gift.”
&nb
sp; I opened the envelope, tipping the contents onto the palm of my hand. “A driving licence?” I looked at the plastic card in my hand. “Amanda Spence? Who’s she?”
“You… Silly!” Sue smiled. “Look, it has your photo on. It’s good enough to pass for ID if you need to have a drink, I wouldn’t try to fool a copper with it.”
“Where on earth do you get a driving licence for me in another name?”
“Ah… That would be telling. Let’s just say that London is a big place and I have made some useful friends.” She winked. “Just to help your new start properly. You can put whoever you were behind for good now…”
“Thanks, Sue…”
“Oh don’t thank me yet…” She sniggered. “You may have a few more birthday surprises to come…”
I watched as she walked away, shrugging at what she may have meant. It had been an exciting year. With hard work and lots of studies, I’d passed my first examinations and now had just one more exam and a riding test between me and a formal qualification as a riding instructor. I’d finally settled into my new life, as basic as it was. I was putting aside some of my meagre wages each week, tucked into a pair of old boots which lay beneath my bunk, keeping something for a rainy day.
The work was hard yet, cathartic, I would end each day hungry for the terrible food having built up an appetite sweeping, mucking out, riding and teaching. I would smile and laugh most days also as our small band of grooms entertained ourselves with silly humour and practical jokes. There were no doubt better places to be, however, this was pretty sound for now and I was with my best friends. I honestly didn’t want to be anywhere else.
County Lines Rider Page 3