by Heidi Swain
‘I don’t think I’ve been eating enough,’ I hiccupped when I realised Jacob still had a few mouthfuls to finish and at least a quarter of his naan to go.
‘Do you want some more?’ he asked, making to stand up. ‘There’s easily another serving, if you’d like it.’
‘No,’ I said, patting my slightly rounded tum, ‘I’m good, but thank you. It was delicious. Thank you for thinking to do it. Left to my own devices it would have probably been a round of toast again for me.’
‘That’s not like you, Poppy.’ He frowned, reaching for my hand and kissing the back of it.
‘I know,’ I told him. ‘I just can’t seem to make the effort at the moment. I’m in a daze, worrying about my blasted brother.’
It was unfair to turn my concern into annoyance but I couldn’t help it. This continued non-appearance was taking its toll and I had thought Ryan would have realised that and at least made some effort to let me know he was still in the land of the living.
‘Anyway,’ I said, squeezing Jacob’s hand and forcing myself not to carry on walking down that particular path, ‘tell me, what is it you wanted to talk about?’
‘Your blasted brother, actually.’ Jacob smiled. ‘But let me get us another beer first.’
I gathered our dishes together and waited while Jacob stacked them in the kitchen and cracked open two more bottles.
‘I’ve been wondering,’ he began, ‘what’s going to happen to Ryan when he comes back.’
‘If, you mean.’
‘No,’ he said firmly, ‘when.’
‘Well,’ I said with a sigh, ‘he’ll go back to Mum, I suppose. I can’t imagine after everything that’s happened that he’ll want to hang around here for much longer, can you?’
‘I don’t know.’ Jacob shrugged.
‘That’s assuming he is still round here somewhere.’
For all any of us knew, he and Joe could have set up camp in another county by now. Joe’s phone was still turned off and with no access to the Grow-Well Twitter account Ryan wouldn’t know any of what had happened since he left.
‘I’m sure he is,’ said Jacob. ‘He and Joe won’t have ventured far. They haven’t got the money to go anywhere too far-flung, have they?’
I hoped they hadn’t been relying on hitchhiking to move around. Best not to think about that.
‘But what’s he going to do once he’s gone home?’ Jacob persisted. ‘What are his options?’
‘I don’t know.’ I frowned, ‘I haven’t thought that far ahead, although I’m certain he won’t be carrying on with his A levels. He never wanted to take them in the first place.’
‘Then how about—’ Jacob began, but stopped suddenly. ‘Was that the door?’
‘Yes,’ I said, as the sound of someone knocking reached my ears. ‘I’ll be back in a sec.’
The unmistakable silhouette of two police officers filled the glass panel on the front door and I felt my heart jump. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for bad news; I didn’t know what sort of bad news, but every time I had had a visit from the police since the Prosperous Place break-in they had come alone. A brace of them couldn’t be good, could it?
‘Good evening, Poppy,’ said the one I recognised as I opened the door, my mouth filling with saliva.
‘E-evening,’ I stammered.
‘We have someone here we think you’ll be rather relieved to see.’
The pair parted to reveal Ryan, dishevelled and dirty, standing between them, his rucksack at his feet and his expression more miserable than I’d ever seen it.
‘Oh my God!’ I gasped, pushing between the officers and pulling my brother into a non-negotiable hug. ‘Thank God you’re all right.’
Relief flooded through me and I began to cry. The realisation that he was actually there, wrapped in my arms, hit me straight in the heart.
‘Thank God you’ve come back.’
‘Hey, Jacob,’ said Ryan over my shoulder as he awkwardly hugged me back.
‘Hey,’ Jacob replied, ‘are you going to let him in, Poppy?’
‘Yes,’ I said, loosening my grip a little and pulling him by the arm over the threshold. ‘Of course. Thank you both so much for bringing him back.’
‘He found his own way back,’ said the younger officer with a smile, following me and Ryan inside. ‘We’ll just come in for a quick chat and then we’ll get off.’
Jacob made us all tea as we stood crowded in the kitchen, Ryan lingering at the back.
‘I’m sure Ryan will fill you in on the finer points,’ said the older officer after helping himself to two heaped spoons of sugar. ‘We just wanted to reassure you that he had absolutely nothing to do with either the break-in at Prosperous Place or the vandalisation of the Grow-Well.’
‘We knew that already, didn’t we, Poppy?’ said Jacob, smiling at Ryan as he handed him a mug. ‘No one thought you had anything to do with any of it, Ryan.’
Ryan nodded but didn’t say anything.
‘I can’t go into too many details,’ the officer continued, ‘but the culprits have been arrested and charged with both crimes.’
‘Thanks in no small part to your brother here, miss, and his friend, Joe,’ said the younger officer, beaming.
I’d never seen him before, and his older colleague was looking as though he regretted bringing him along.
‘Er yes, thank you,’ he said sternly, making the young guy blush.
‘Sorry,’ he said, turning red and taking a swig from his mug.
‘Well,’ the older officer continued, ‘I don’t think we need to say any more. I’m sure Ryan will want to tell you at least a bit about what’s happened, won’t you, lad?’
‘I guess,’ he said, ‘if I have to.’
‘I’d like to know.’ I smiled at him. ‘It sounds to me as if you’ve been quite the hero, Ryan.’
‘I wouldn’t go that far,’ he muttered.
‘Don’t keep beating yourself up about it, lad,’ said the older officer, ‘it’s done now and your actions have ended up helping us solve a couple of other crimes that have been outstanding for a while. It’s all turned out all right in the end.’
Ryan still didn’t look too pleased about whatever it was that had happened and what he had played a part in. I was bursting to find out what those ‘actions’ were but my brother didn’t look in any way ready to answer any of the questions I had buzzing about in my brain.
‘Well done, Ryan,’ said Jacob before I had a chance to open my mouth. ‘I’m sure you’ll tell us when and if you’re ready, but for now I can imagine you just want a long hot shower and an early night.’
‘You’re not wrong,’ said Ryan, picking up his bag.
‘Don’t you want anything to eat?’ I asked, keen to keep him in sight for as long as possible.
‘I had something at the station,’ he said, making for the stairs. ‘Thanks for everything,’ he said to the police officers as he slid his trainers off and kicked them almost out of the way. ‘I appreciate you bringing me home.’
I watched him run up the stairs, the lump in my throat forming again as I thought about him considering my home as his.
‘We’ll get off then,’ said the younger officer.
‘And don’t worry,’ the older one said to me, ‘your brother hasn’t done anything wrong. He’s a fine young man, with a decent head on his shoulders. I’d leave him alone for tonight. Let him get his head straight before you start asking him questions.’
‘I will,’ I told him, as much as it pained me to do so.
Chapter 31
‘Do you think I should go and check he’s okay?’ I said to Jacob once we could hear that Ryan had left the bathroom and was moving about in his room.
‘No,’ he said firmly. ‘Absolutely not. He won’t thank you if you do and you won’t get anything out of him until he’s ready to tell you, so I’d just leave him if I were you.’
He was right, but I was itching to get it all out in the open, deal with it and then fo
rget about it. The last few days had really taken a toll on me and I wanted to put them behind me as quickly as possible – but, I reminded myself, this wasn’t about me.
‘All right,’ I relented. ‘I’ll ring Harry and tell him I might be a bit late in tomorrow. For a change.’
‘And I better get home,’ said Jacob, pulling me into a hug and kissing the top of my head. ‘The next couple of days are going to be busy at school, but after that I’ll be able to help you out if you need me. You’ll soon be the focus of my undivided attention for a month at least, assuming you want to be, of course.’
Now Ryan was back the fragility of our relationship was even more apparent. There was nothing I wanted more than to be the focus of Jacob’s attention, but I knew my brother would notice the shift in our relationship without even trying. As I stood on tiptoe to return Jacob’s kiss with a light touch of my own, I couldn’t help wishing that my brother hadn’t been quite so fixed in his thoughts about what my connection to our wonderful neighbour should be.
‘I’ll see you soon,’ Jacob said to me in the hall as I pushed Ryan’s trainers further aside with my foot.
It was a familiar gesture and one that caused my eyes to fill with tears.
‘He’s back now.’ Jacob smiled. ‘Everything’s going to be fine.’
I nodded.
‘I know,’ I croaked, ‘I’m just relieved.’
Jacob quickly kissed me again.
‘See you later, Ryan!’ he called up the stairs.
There was no answer.
*
Harry insisted that I took the day off and that we’d work something out if I needed more time after that. It was my day off on Saturday, so at least if I did go back in on Thursday and Friday it wasn’t going to be the longest working week imaginable.
‘Is it true?’ Lisa blurted out when I opened the door to her after she’d been on the school run the next morning. ‘Is Ryan back?’
‘He is,’ I told her. ‘He’s home. Currently non-communicative, fast asleep I’m guessing, but he is back.’
‘Oh, thank God,’ she cried, beaming and looking relieved, ‘can I tell the others?’
‘Of course,’ I said, looking around the square. ‘I’m sure everyone will be as pleased as I am.’
Truth be told, I was fairly certain they would know already. I couldn’t imagine the arrival of a police car in the square would have gone unnoticed, by Carole at least.
‘They will,’ Lisa enthusiastically agreed. ‘They definitely will.’
I was wrong in my assumption about the car being spotted but Lisa, with little Archie, her son, in tow, must have sprinted round the square because the floodgates opened within minutes of her visit and I was inundated with neighbours and phone calls all day. Unfortunately, nothing and no one had been able to tempt Ryan out of his room; however, every time I had replenished the tray outside his bedroom door with hot drinks and snacks it had disappeared within minutes, only to reappear, as if by magic and covered in crumbs, a short while later.
Kate and Luke popped over from Prosperous Place with the girls. Luke insisted on going upstairs to talk to Ryan through the still-closed door while I took Kate and the little ones out into the garden.
‘I hope you don’t think I’m talking out of turn,’ Kate said to me as we watched Jasmine rearranging some of the pots in my little herb area, ‘but I can’t help wondering whether Ryan might benefit from some more specific counselling to help him come to terms with the loss of his father.’
‘I don’t think you’re talking out of turn at all,’ I reassured her. ‘In fact, I’m sure you’re right, but I haven’t had a chance to even think about where I can go or how I can get him that extra level of support. I had thought talking to the counsellor at the youth centre would be enough, but now I’m not so sure. I suppose there must be somewhere more specialised here in Norfolk. I’ll have to look into it.’
‘I know somewhere,’ she said, pulling a leaflet out of her pocket, ‘but it’s in Cambridgeshire, not Norfolk. This place, Wynthorpe Hall, is on the outskirts of Wynbridge, my home town. It offers a bereavement counselling service for under-eighteens. I’m certain they would be able to help.’
I turned the leaflet over in my hands. From what I could make out from a quick scan, the charity was all for getting youngsters outside, out of a formal environment, and into what looked like some woods and pretty dramatic countryside, to talk through their experiences and problems. I felt certain it would suit Ryan far better than four walls.
‘This looks great,’ I said, smiling, ‘thank you, Kate. Once things have settled down a bit and the time’s right, I’ll suggest it.’
I only hoped that Ryan was going to be with me long enough for us to get to that time.
‘Ready?’ said Luke from the kitchen door. ‘We’d better get back.’
‘Did he speak to you?’ I asked, careful to keep my voice low, as Ryan’s room overlooked the little back garden.
‘No,’ Luke said, ‘but that’s fine. I wasn’t expecting him to. I just wanted him to hear directly from me that I didn’t blame him for any of what’s happened. That none of us do.’
‘Thank you.’ I nodded. ‘I appreciate that. And if you could work out a way to get him to come out of his room, I’d appreciate that too.’
‘I know,’ said Jasmine, skipping up and taking Luke’s hand. ‘I know how you can get him to come out.’
And she did.
*
Jasmine’s idea was a true stroke of genius and one that I managed to set up for the end of the day.
‘Do you really think this will work?’ whispered Lou as she crossed the threshold behind Colin and Gus, who was already straining to get off his lead.
‘There’s no doubt in my mind.’ I smiled as Colin set the diminutive pooch free.
He raced up the stairs, at a speed you wouldn’t have thought his little legs were capable of, and began crying and scratching at Ryan’s door. I only hoped the scuffed paintwork would be easy to touch up.
‘Let’s leave him to it,’ said Colin, ushering us towards the kitchen.
We had barely made it along the hall before I heard Ryan’s door open and the little dog’s cries were replaced by yappy barks of excitement.
‘Well, that’s all well and good,’ said Lou, ‘but he hasn’t come out. He’s taken Gus in.’
‘That’s all right,’ I said, reaching for the kettle. ‘Trust me, Lou, this will definitely work.’
Colin and Lou didn’t stay for long and Colin was happy to leave Gus with Ryan. I think it was a weight off his shoulders to hear the little dog tearing about above him and I hoped his presence was doing my brother just as much good.
A little while later I heard the bedroom door open and strained my ears to work out if there were two sets of feet padding down the stairs or one.
‘Do we have any of Gus’s food left?’ Ryan asked. His voice sounded hoarse, as if it hadn’t been used for a while. ‘And I think he might need to go out.’
I let Gus outside and then handed Ryan the bag of food and assorted bits and pieces that Colin and Lou had dropped off.
‘I think Colin would appreciate it if you could take care of Gus for a few days,’ I told him as the dog rushed back in and started circling around our feet, having spotted his food bowl. ‘Us humans aren’t the only ones who have missed you, you know.’
Ryan didn’t say anything and, as hard as it was, I kept Jacob’s words of wisdom at the forefront of my mind. If I messed this conversation up, Ryan would go scurrying back upstairs and we’d be back to square one. I didn’t think the hens would be up to the task of tempting him out again in quite the same way as Gus had managed. Violet and Dash might have been worth a shot though.
‘Do you want some dinner?’ I asked. ‘I don’t feel like cooking, so I thought I might order a takeaway.’
‘Chinese?’ Ryan asked, sounding hopeful.
‘If you like,’ I said, reaching for the menu. ‘What do you fancy?’
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A few light spots of rain had started to fall by the time our dinner was delivered, so we elected to sit inside and eat in front of the TV with our plates on lap trays. The television was only on quietly, but it provided a comforting drone of background chatter that stopped the silence turning awkward.
‘Do you want some more?’ I asked after Ryan had polished off his second plateful in record time. ‘There’s a spoonful of rice left and some of my chicken in vegetables, if you want it?’
‘Better not,’ he said breathing out and readjusting his waistband, ‘I think I’ve reached my limit.’
‘I’ll get rid of it then.’
‘Don’t waste it,’ said Ryan, reaching across to spear the last prawn ball. ‘Just put it in the fridge and I’ll have it for breakfast.’
‘How about you put it in the fridge?’ I said, raising an eyebrow, ‘as you’re the one who wants to keep it.’
‘Yeah,’ he said, ‘sorry.’
Between us we sorted the dishes and the leftovers and Ryan let Gus out again.
‘I’ll walk him tomorrow,’ he said, ‘when everyone’s gone to work. I don’t think I can face them yet.’
‘They don’t blame you, you know.’
‘I know,’ he said, ‘Luke told me and I’ve heard most of what’s been said here today. The soundproofing in this place is non-existent.’
My mind flitted back over the conversations that had taken place and I wondered if he had heard more than I would have wanted him to of my exchange with Jacob.
‘That Wynthorpe Hall place sounds interesting,’ he said, his cheeks colouring slightly.
He really did have supersonic hearing if he’d caught the gist of that while Luke had been talking to him through his door, I thought. But it turned out that Luke had mentioned it. ‘He said Kate had a leaflet about it that she was going to leave with you,’ Ryan said now.
‘That’s right,’ I said, trying to temper my enthusiasm. ‘It’s above the fireplace.’
‘I might have a look in a bit.’
I nodded.
‘I thought Jacob might have come over tonight,’ Ryan carried on.