by Krista Wolf
“Oh,” I said, trying not to be awkward. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
He stood there a few seconds too long. Just long enough to make it uncomfortable. “Come in,” I urged, “come in.”
He did, and I dropped the pen I’d been tapping against my lips for inspiration. Damn, it really was good to see him.
“When’d you get back?”
“Just now,” he said.
I went to sit up. Instead, he sat down beside me. The bed sank a bit as he brought himself down to my level, until the two of us were face to face.
“Sammara, listen. I wanted to say I was sorry.”
My heart melted. I’d been just about to apologize to him.
“You don’t have to—”
“No,” he said, shushing me. “I do. I mean… I wanted to tell you something else, too.” He smiled. “You were right.”
Ryan wasn’t just smiling; he looked happy! Calm. Contented.
At peace.
“I saw my father,” he said. “I went to him. In Brooklyn. I saw him for the entire weekend, my sisters too.”
My whole face went alive at once. I was grinning from ear to ear. “That’s wonderful!”
“Yes,” he said. “It is.”
I went to open my mouth, but he kissed me. It wasn’t a kiss of passion though. It was the sweetest, most heartfelt kiss I’d ever received.
“Gabriel — my dad — he said he never knew. That my mother had kept it from him.”
It took half a second for me to realize what he was saying. And then:
“Oh my GOD!”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “It was surreal. He had no idea, Sammara. My mother split up with him shortly after she’d gotten pregnant, and went off to have me without him even knowing. She had… problems.” He fumbled around, searching for the words. “Drug problems.”
“You mean—”
He nodded. “All this time I had a father. And he had a son. And neither of us knew it.”
I went immediately silent. It was very deep thing. A hard realization.
And it was sad, too. So sad.
“But now…” he said. “Thanks to you…”
“No,” I smiled, taking his face in my hands. “You’re the one who made the decision. You’re the one who gets credit for going there. For trying to forgive.”
We held hands, and he interlaced his fingers with mine. His hands were still cold from being outside, but his face was warm and alive.
“So what happens next?”
He hesitated, but only for a moment. “We’re going to open some channels of communication. See if there could be a relationship there. Maybe we can get to know each other.” He shrugged shyly. “I know it’s not much, but it’s a start.”
I squeezed him reassuringly, letting him know it was a good start. Then his face lit up.
“My sisters are beautiful, Sammara. You should see them! One of them is already in college! She’s studying engineering. So smart…”
“Show me,” I smiled, pointing to his phone. “I want to see!”
He nodded. “Definitely. I’ll tell you everything. But first, I have something for you.”
Before I knew it he produced a box wrapped with a pink and silver ribbon. I was taken aback. I hadn’t expected anything like this.
“Open it.”
I pulled on the ribbon. Gently unfolded the paper. Inside was a beautiful, leather-bound journal with finished brass corners… and a single pen.
“That’s so you can write down your memories,” Ryan said. “Of your parents. Everything you remember about them — every moment, every feeling.” His voice was broken. Like he was choked up, which he was. “You write that stuff down, Sammara — all of it — so you’ll have it forever.” He looked at me and smiled. His eyes were glassy. “Because family’s important.”
I hugged him so hard we nearly fell off the bed. Tears rolled down my cheeks, unhindered, unchecked. I welcomed every one of them.
“Thank you,” I sobbed. “Oh Ryan…”
“Wait,” he said. “Open it first.”
I let go of him temporarily, and my hands were trembling so badly I could barely manage the cover. Ryan reached down to help me. Together we opened the journal…
… to a small stack of photographs.
He was silent as I picked them up. They were photos of my mother. My father. Photos of me. Some of them I’d seen before. But others…
Others were all new.
“Oh my God…”
There were license photos. Passport photos. But also household pictures, taken by others. Family members, maybe. Some taken by my mother and father too. My parents were smiling. Laughing. Living their lives. In one, even holding my hand.
My chest heaved as I was wracked with more sobs. My tears were streaming now. I had to hold the photographs at arm’s length, so they wouldn’t get wet.
“How did you—”
He pulled me close, crushing me against him. Keeping me near, while together we stared down at each picture. Each one was its own precious, unique little jewel. Each one was priceless.
At one point I felt his body shrug. “Briggs isn’t the only one with friends in the NSA,” he explained softly.
I sniffed. It was all I could do to compose myself.
“I—I don’t know what to say!”
“You don’t have to say anything,” he said gently. “Just… be happy.”
We sat there on the bed, holding each other for what seemed like ages. Then we looked up at the same time, and Jason was standing in the doorway.
“Come here,” I smiled through my tears. “I know I said I’d come to bed with you. Give me a minute though. First, let me show you—”
“No, no,” he said. “It’s not that. Not at all.”
He seemed oddly excited. Like a kid who’d walked into his parents bedroom to wake them up on Christmas morning.
“What then?”
“It’s Kyle! And Dakota!”
“What about Kyle and Dakota?” asked Ryan.
Jason’s face broke into an accompanying Christmas morning smile.
“They’re coming home!”
Fifty-Seven
SAMMARA
They were back just three weeks later. A short deployment — but as I found out, not for Rangers. Not for the schedules they kept, and the things they did.
Dakota’s hug nearly crushed my spine, but I welcomed it with an elated smile. Wherever they’d been he came back all sun-bronzed and beautiful, which made the little blonde hairs on his arms stand out in stark contrast to his tan skin. He even smelled like summer, or the beach, or something equally delicious. He also grabbed my ass so hard I think he broke it.
When he finally put me down I was face to face with Kyle. That part was awkward… until he swept me into his arms and kissed me. I was hoping it would happen that way. That things wouldn’t be awkward between us, after our last conversation.
“Walk with me?” I asked him, eager to talk.
“Yes,” he smiled. “Later.”
First, the guys got reacquainted… and for once, I sort of hung out in the background. It had been a long time since the four of them were together at once. They needed some time to talk, to tell their stories, to clap each other on the back and rib each other with inside jokes and talk about where they’d been and what they’d done. They were constantly seeking me out, though. Opening their arms to welcome me into their little circle, or square rather, and with me, I guess it became a pentagon.
“The house looks amazing!” Dakota exclaimed, walking and looking around. He was soon joined by Ryan and Jason, who showed the two of them what they’d missed.
I flushed red at all the praise on that end. The place really did look spectacular. Everything was finally coming together — all the hard work with the contractors and subcontractors was finally paying off. Not to mention the money. I shuddered to think how much got spent on bringing the old Victorian back to its former glory. In the end though, it w
as all worth it.
“I hear you’ve got a new business enterprise?” Kyle asked me.
I nodded, blushing some more.
“We’re going to need to see that,” he said. “And soon.”
I couldn’t wait to take them to the new place. Universal Designs already had a number of clients, most of which I’d salvaged from our old business. But in all honesty? We had some new ones too. The website was bringing in some surprising traffic, and without Dawn skimming or redirecting from social media, things had taken off pretty quickly.
I even had a new assistant: a bright young marketing guru by the name of Cindy. Someone who was not only dedicated to design, but finally dedicated to me.
The guys bullshitted around most of the day, until we all got hungry and decided to grill outside. As always, Dakota took over the grill. Ryan and Jason were bringing him up to speed on what he’d missed while he was away, when I felt a gentle tug on my arm.
“C’mon,” smiled Kyle. “Let’s take that walk.”
We usually walked the lake, but by now I knew of a few new trails into the woods themselves. I led him down one of these paths for a while, one I knew broke into a small but beautiful clearing that let the sun shine down while still being secluded.
Once there, Kyle slipped his hand into mine. He pulled me against him and kissed me again, bringing back all the old feelings and emotions. Reminding me of just how much I’d really grown to love him.
“This place reminds me of our first walk together,” he said. “In the park.”
I smiled as the sun illuminated every handsome curve of his stubbled face. “No bench though,” I said.
“I could build one,” Kyle shrugged. “Just for us.”
I nodded eagerly. “We could build a lot of things.”
“Yeah.”
A moment passed — a moment of peaceful silence telling us both everything would be alright. Still, we had to talk about it. I had to clear the air.
“Listen,” I said. “I—I’m not mad. Not anymore.”
He shook his head. “You had every reason to be mad. Still do. What I did was sneaky. Underhanded. I should’ve been more honest about it.”
I took his face in my hand. The warmth of his skin was reassuring. “Kyle, stop. Let me finish.”
I drew a deep breath. The fragrant scent of the pines was incredible. Somewhere off in the distance, I could hear a bird singing.
“The more I look at it,” I said, “the more I can see why you wouldn’t tell me. Actually, you probably couldn’t tell me. Not without scaring me away.”
He nodded but didn’t talk. Thankfully.
“I guess I was just a little shocked, that’s all,” I said. “I thought our meeting was organic. That our connection was organic.”
“It was,” he said quickly. “Sammara, I’ve never felt that connected to someone that quickly. Trust me, I couldn’t make that up! Not even if I wanted to.”
I nodded. “I know.”
“And yes, maybe we got helped along by a computer. But so what? It chose you, Sammara! Out of anyone it could’ve picked in the whole world, it chose you. For me. For us.”
We were both smiling now, recognizing how silly it was. When I thought about it, it was no different than choosing a mate through a dating app or profile website. Selecting the traits you’re attracted to, the common interests — all the same stuff, really. Only in this case, I didn’t know I was being selected.
And of course, I didn’t realize it was for four men instead of one.
“Ryan was mad at me for something,” I said sullenly, “not that long ago. I didn’t like it. I hated it. Every minute of it…”
I took his hand and put it against my face. Kyle started caressing my cheek, the way he always did. With the gentle touch of someone so strong and powerful and breathtakingly handsome, he generally made my knees weak.
“I don’t want to be mad at you,” I said. “And I’m sorry that I was. I was a little shocked, that’s all. And even then, only temporarily.”
Kyle smiled down, his grey irises shining brightly. “I’m the one who’s sorry,” he said. “Sorry that I hurt you, even for a moment. Even for a day, or an hour, or a minute. Because I never, ever want that to happen again.”
My heart fluttered as he leaned in, brushing his lips against mine. I went to kiss him but he stopped me, nibbling on my lip. Making sure I was looking directly into his eyes, so I understood everything completely.
“I’d like to make it up to you,” he said, with an edge of mystery to his voice.
I smirked. “Oh yeah?”
I felt him suddenly take control. His body advanced gracefully, pushing me off balance, shoving me backward until I was resting against the bark of some soft, ancient pine. With nowhere to go I was trapped against him. Trapped against his rigid, sculpted body. I could feel his chest on my chest. His groin, his legs, molding themselves against me, pressing me into the tree.
“Yeah,” he growled sexily. “I’m going to make it up to you.”
His hands slid downward, past my waist, along my thighs.
“Right…”
They slipped beneath my skirt, lifting it up as he sank to his knees, staring up at me.
“…fucking…”
My panties came down, and I felt a rush of air against my legs. I gasped in a shiver of pleasure as his mouth closed over me.
“… now.”
Fifty-Eight
SAMMARA
The walk back to the house seemed to take a lot longer. It could’ve been that Kyle and I were just taking our time. Smiling, laughing, enjoying the forest while holding hands.
Or maybe my legs were still trembling from the monstrous orgasm he’d just given me.
Either way, I was happy. Happy to have him home. Happy to have all my boys home, especially at once, for the very first time.
And will you be able to take care of them all, Sammara?
It wasn’t the first time I’d asked myself this question. But now they were actually home. Now it was real. Now I was one person responsible for the emotional and physical needs of four, and that was a little daunting.
You knew this going in.
That was true. I couldn’t argue.
And you wanted it anyway.
I did. Oh yes, I did. I admitted it to myself now, fully and completely. No misgivings. No apologies.
I sighed contentedly and squeezed Kyle’s hand. I loved that it all started with him. I loved that it had continued with Dakota, so big and sweet and thoughtful, like an enormous teddy bear… although one that could break your neck.
Ryan and I had a special connection, a shared experience that bonded us at the most fundamental of levels. It was his passion and fire that I loved about him. The closer we grew together, each facet of his personality seemed deeper than the last.
Finally, I loved Jason’s openness… while still maintaining something dark and brooding inside of him. In most ways he treated me as an equal, but I always felt possessed by him in bed. Taken in ways that made me feel deliciously dominated. Utterly free.
I had everything I wanted. A big, bright warehouse to go with my thriving new business. A wonderful, magnificent place to live. Four incredible boyfriends; each one strong and protective, each one loving, each one more gorgeous than the last.
And yes, a sex life to die for. Literally. As in, it actually might kill me if I wasn’t careful.
And who wants to be careful?
I thought about all these things as we re-emerged from the edge of the woods. The food would’ve been done a while ago. The others would already be enjoying it at the table outside, the one under the big maple.
Only they weren’t there.
The table was empty. So was the whole backyard. There was no sign of Dakota, or Ryan, or Jason.
Maybe they decided to eat inside?
It made sense. The back door to the house was wide open. But the grill…
The grill was belching white smoke everywhere. Like
it was on fire. Like something had been left on it…
“Sammara…”
Kyle’s voice was barely audible — a whisper on the wind. I froze as I felt his firm hand on my shoulder.
“Hide. NOW.”
I whirled… and he was gone. Slipped off into the trees, disappeared completely from sight in all the time it took for me to turn around.
My blood ran cold. I was crouching down along the path, not sure what to do. Where to go. What to hide behind, or—
FFFFWUMP!
I screamed as something came crashing out of the woods to my left. A man — no, two men — hit the ground so hard they must’ve been moving full speed. Or running. Or tackling…
Kyle!
I could see him in the grass now, rolling, churning, both arms wrapped around a large bald man with a bushy red beard. I screamed again, more loudly this time, just as the man punched Kyle hard in the face with one big ham of a fist.
Do something!
I was freaking out! They were moving so fast, grappling and switching places so quickly I didn’t know where to intervene. Kyle was on top… then the red-bearded man… then Kyle again. I glanced at the house, hoping to see something. Hoping to see Dakota, or Ryan, or Jason, rushing to our aid…
But I saw nothing. Nobody. Just the grill, the white smoke turning grey now. Flames were leaping up from the back as whatever was still on it remained unattended. They grew larger and more dangerous-looking. Licking upward…
“KYLE!”
If he heard me he didn’t respond. Or he couldn’t respond… not with the other man’s hands wrapping themselves around his throat.
SAMMARA!
My mind screamed, jolting me into action. My gut instinct was to throw myself on this man. To claw at his face, to pound my fists against his back — anything and everything to make him let go! But then I saw it. Lying on the ground, all sleek and black and deadly-looking.
I ran over and picked up the gun. It wasn’t the same pistol Jason had taught me to shoot with, but it was similar enough.
“GET OFF OF HIM!” I shouted.
Neither man responded. They kept struggling and twisting, each working to gain an advantage over the other. I pulled back on the slide, cocking the chamber. Flipped the safety to the OFF position with a satisfying click.