by Rebecca Rode
Ember hadn’t done push-ups since childhood. She rolled her eyes and lowered herself carefully to her knees. Then she gasped as the pain gripped her again, her back arching with the force of it.
“Too slow,” Talon droned. “Seventy-five.”
That was how the next hour passed, although it felt far longer to Ember. Talon guided her through a circuit—push-ups, jacks, then sprinting from one end of the room to the other until she thought she’d collapse from dizziness. Then she’d do it all over again with Talon yelling “Faster!” Her arms and legs trembled, but Talon refused to allow her any rest. The moment she hesitated or moved too slowly, the pain returned.
At one point Ember hit the wall a little too hard from her run and ended up flat on her back. She stared at the ceiling for perhaps a quarter of a second before Talon hit the trigger, sending Ember writhing into a ball.
“Stand up,” Talon ordered.
But Ember couldn’t. The nerves in her legs were firing, screaming. Her feeble attempt to move didn’t even register. The pain only intensified. She pawed at the collar at her throat, wishing for the sweet nothing of unconsciousness.
The pain stopped abruptly. Ember collapsed to the ground again, gulping for air. Her heart beat erratically for a moment before finally evening out.
“Don’t ever mess with the collar.” If Talon had been angry before, now she sounded deadly. Ember wondered whether the woman would storm in and begin pummeling her as she lay helpless. “The commander said to show you this if you tried that again.”
The black window lit up. It flickered for a second, then an image formed. Ember was staring at her hometown. It was dusk there, the dark-orange sun sending dark shadows behind the walls. A few lazy tendrils of smoke climbed toward a dull-brown sky.
“His seekers have been testing residents for days without success, but Kane ordered them to stick around. If you advance in your training, everybody wins. The soldiers keep their distance. But if you knock yourself out again . . . ”
A longer pause this time. Then the screen shifted to a little girl about six—Jaelle, her neighbor’s daughter. Two soldiers stood behind the girl, their hands gripping her tiny shoulders. They motioned to the camera, and she threw a hesitant wave, but the expression on her face was one of terror.
Ember knew exactly what was running through the girl’s mind. She was supposed to steer clear of gadje, and now two of them were holding the girl hostage, forcing her to act friendly to a machine when all she wanted to do was finish dinner with her family and sleep in her warm bed.
Ember’s voice was flat. “If I resist, my people suffer for it.”
“Well, technically she won’t suffer. It’ll be a quick, clean death. Her family will suffer, though, especially when they hear you could have stopped it.”
Kane had already removed Ember from her home. Now he wanted to cut any remaining ties and any lingering hope. He didn’t realize how effective that would be. If her kumpania didn’t hate her already, this would definitely tip the scale. And if Ember did manage to escape and return, they’d kill her on sight.
She rose to her feet, her hands balling into fists to hide the trembling. She would cooperate for now, if only to buy herself and her people time. She wanted to scream at them to leave that place, to escape the soldiers forever. There was just one tiny light in the darkness of her situation here—the fact that they’d chosen a random child to execute. If they knew about Dai, they would have used him.
“I won’t attempt suicide or unconsciousness again,” Ember said. “Tell them to set her free.”
“Excellent.”
A pause, then the soldiers stepped back from the girl. She looked around, confused, and finally ran off.
Go home, little one, Ember wanted to call after her. Hide from the soldiers. The streets aren’t safe anymore.
“I think you’ve learned an important lesson today, Ember gypsy. You may return to your quarters. Tomorrow’s schedule will be posted on your wall screen. I’ll see you back here at 1900. But, remember, as far as everyone else on this ship is concerned, your collar is a necklace, a special gift from Commander Kane himself. One touch, even accidental, and that little cutie on Earth goes bye-bye.”
The next several days flew by. Ember spent mornings training with the other new flickers. She recognized a couple of them as friends of Stefan, but Mar was distinctly absent. A part of her hoped Mar had passed and made it to a different ship.
Another part hoped Mar had somehow managed to make it home to her world without walls and orders and killings. Ember couldn’t face the alternative.
Each day was the same. Three classes followed by physical-combat training, then the simulator. Ember hated every second.
But she hated her time with Talon after dinner even more. The woman seemed determined to squeeze every last ounce of resistance out of Ember, who found herself instinctively obeying even the slightest command.
She told herself it was all an act, that she would play along for now. But it was disturbing how efficiently Talon had broken her. The tasks Ember performed grew increasingly difficult, particularly after a hard day of training. Yet as the days wore on, Ember grew to automatically and immediately obey every order, almost as if her mind had been removed from the picture entirely.
When Talon felt Ember had had enough, she would dismiss her into the care of a guard who escorted her back to her quarters every night.
Stefan wasn’t in her group. She hadn’t seen him since he’d broken his promise.
By the end of the fourth day, Ember felt like she was on a conveyor belt. Sit, listen, regurgitate facts. Analyze the enemy, name their current formation and intent. Stay six steps ahead. Face off with another student; try not to get hurt too badly. Use your fists, your feet, your head to inflict pain. The same hands that did laundry and cooked for her father gradually grew quicker and more deadly. The Ember she had once been began to shrivel inside her.
It wasn’t until she walked into the medical bay on day five that she saw Stefan.
She had tweaked her wrist again in combat training, and her instructor had insisted she get it checked out on the medical deck. Her guard took up his usual place at the door, checking his wristband. Stefan was heading out as she walked in. When he saw her, his steps slowed. Stefan’s swollen eye was nearly healed now, and he moved with more certainty. Whatever his injury was, it seemed to be healing.
Good. Now he could learn to be a killer too. It was what he wanted, after all.
“Ember,” he whispered. “I need to talk to you.”
He probably wanted to apologize for betraying her. Again. Although he claimed innocence, he had shown Kane her gift at the market and gotten her kidnapped, then broken his promise to her in order to please the commander. As nice as Stefan had once been, it was clear where he stood now—and where she stood in his view.
She pressed her lips together and walked right past him. She ignored the greeter’s insistence that she sit and wait, and she headed straight for her usual room. It was empty. She swiped a cold pack from the chill box and sat in the chair.
Stefan followed her in and settled himself against the wall, arms folded. “Are you okay?”
“No,” she snapped. “I’m not okay. And I didn’t ask you to follow me.”
He flinched at the coolness in her voice. “I need to explain.”
“Was I a nice, comfy step for you on your way up the ladder? Glad I could do that much for you.”
“It’s not what you think, Ember. I said those things to protect you. And you’re not exactly qualified to lecture me on keeping a promise.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t you?” He folded his arms. “Then answer this. I told you something in confidence, and the next day everyone knew about it.”
She went still, trying to remember what they’d discussed that night. His grandmother. “I haven’t told anyone.”
“Then explain why my grandmother was arrested the next
day.”
Ember stared at him. “Well, it wasn’t me. I went to bed after that, and the next morning they shipped me straight here.”
“After you killed your attacker in phase three.” He spat the words, each syllable like a knife to her chest.
Anger simmered inside her. What right did he have to accuse her? “You’re here too. Are you telling me you didn’t fight back?”
“Of course I fought back. It was a simple test of our reflexes. I took him down with a choke hold.”
“You didn’t kill him?”
“No.” His voice was incredulous. “Ember, I should have warned you that would happen. I figured you knew, just like everyone else did. They send in fighters to rough us up a bit and see how you handle yourself. That’s it.”
Rough them up a bit? That couldn’t be true. Her attacker had tried to choke the life out of her. If she hadn’t killed that man first, Ember had no doubt she’d be dead.
Stefan leaned in closer. “You’ve changed, Ember. I thought I knew who you were, but now I’m not so sure. First you broke the machine, then you killed someone. And then my grandmother got arrested. Now you’re Commander Kane’s pet.”
She bristled. “I am not his anything.”
“Hey,” a passing medic said. “What are you two doing in here?”
“Leaving,” Ember muttered. She cradled her wrist in one hand, deciding it didn’t hurt all that bad, and strode toward the door.
Stefan jumped up and extended his arm across the doorway to block her escape. “I’m not done. Hear me out.”
“Listen to you accuse and insult me? No, thanks.” She started to duck beneath his arm.
He held out his other hand to stop her. “Look, there’s something you need to know,” he said, lowering his voice. “I didn’t actually read you.”
She raised an eyebrow. “My shield worked, then?”
He snorted. “No, it was as flimsy as paper. You really need to work on your inner defenses. I’m saying I didn’t actually see your future. I pretended to for Kane’s sake, then told him what he wanted to hear.”
Her anger fizzled a bit at this new revelation. “I was perfectly prepared to take care of myself.”
“And defy one of the most powerful beings in the universe? Yeah, that would’ve turned out great for you. Do you realize the power that man holds? They say he may be the next emperor, long may he live. Commander Kane comes from one of the highest families in the Empire. He owns a planet.”
“So I keep hearing,” she muttered.
“I knew if you became useless to him, he’d dispose of you,” he continued. “I thought this way I could buy you time. But Kane is watching you too closely. Besides, with your schedule and your secret training sessions—”
“How do you know about that?”
He paused, suddenly very interested in the cupboard across the room. “I’ve been keeping an eye on you. But now it’s clear that you aren’t who I thought you were. I shouldn’t have covered for you.” He blew out a frustrated breath. “There’s too much at stake, too many people who depend on me. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
He lowered his arm to let her pass, but her mind was too busy processing his words.
“You lied to the commander,” she said slowly. “For me.”
“It was stupid.”
She stepped forward and touched his arm. The moment she made contact, his attention snapped back to her, his eyes full of pain.
“I think deep down you know this is wrong,” she whispered. “This—this connecting with people for the purpose of getting them killed.”
He went rigid, but he didn’t pull away from her hand. “I know it seems terrible, but not all flickers do that. Sometimes they need us for intelligence or interrogation.”
Ember snorted. “Like that’s any better.”
She tried to brush past him, but he planted himself in the way. “Okay, you’re right about one thing, Ember. There’s another reason I lied to the commander. I still think you’re the one in my grandmother’s vision, and you can’t fulfill anything if you fail your training here.”
“I’m not here to validate some old woman’s fantasies,” she spat. “And maybe I’d rather be dead than become the Empire’s weapon.”
“But if you just wait—”
“I’m done waiting.” She shoved past him and marched down the hallway, feeling the disapproving eyes of several medics and patients from down the hall.
He caught up and grabbed her good arm, turning her around roughly. “You don’t have to do this alone.” He paused. “Where did you get that necklace?” He reached up as if to stroke it.
“Don’t touch it!” she hissed, spinning away from him.
He recoiled sharply. Surprise registered, then hurt. “Look, I don’t know when I’ll see you again. Just remember that I’m not the enemy here.”
“I know you aren’t.”
“Then why do you look at me like I am?” He stepped forward and lowered his voice. “Is this really about what happened the other day, or is there something more? Because you’ve kept a wall up ever since you read my future on the day we met.”
Because you’re a gadjo, she thought. Because the same stars that brought us together also gave me a curse. Because I’m afraid that kissing you means the stars are right about who I am and what I’m capable of.
Ember didn’t want to admit the deepest reason. She clung to the truth, keeping it close to her heart where it was safest.
Because I hurt those I love, even when I don’t mean to.
“You’re imagining things,” she said, but her voice broke on the last syllable, and she swallowed hard and looked away.
He had her pinned against the wall now. Her hands trembled at how close he was. There were no medical workers, no hallways. Just Stefan and his intense, anxious eyes completely focused on her.
“You saw something disturbing in my future that day in the market, didn’t you?” he said. “Something that scared you. At least tell me what it was before you go.” He brought a hand up to brush her cheek. She unconsciously leaned into his touch, awed at how natural and warm his skin felt against hers.
“I can’t,” she whispered.
Stefan looked disappointed, but he didn’t pull away. If anything, he moved closer, his finger brushing her cheek. “If escaping is still what you want, I’m sure you’ll make it happen.” She could feel his breath on her cheek now. His lips were just inches away. She wondered what it would feel like to—
“What do you think this is, the rec deck?” the medic from earlier said, tapping Stefan on the shoulder. “Get out of here now, before I call security.”
Stefan straightened as Ember turned away, the realization of what she had almost done hitting her like a slap. Stefan’s gaze was still locked on her, watching for a reaction.
The medic gave her a pointed look. “I’m not kidding. Leave.” Then she muttered something about flickers thinking they owned the ship and continued on her way down the hall.
“I suppose we’d better go,” Stefan said in a hoarse voice.
“Wait.” She grabbed his arm before he could turn away. “If I found a way for both of us to escape, would you come?”
He cocked his head. “What?”
“If you could leave all this, would you? Could you go live on a peaceful planet with no advancement pins and orders?” She paused and lowered her voice even more. “Would you join the Union if you had the chance?”
His face fell. “I—I don’t know. The Union isn’t exactly the most peaceful place to go. They keep attacking planets, Ember. And I can’t leave my grandmother in prison.”
She blinked. There it was again. Kane had made the same accusation about the Union, but she’d assumed that was Empire propaganda. Surely the Union was protecting the innocent, not killing them.
Although they had searched her out. That could only mean they wanted to use her as much as Kane did. And Amai had lied to her at first.
Ember hadn’t se
en her since that conversation. Was the woman looking for Dai now to get him to safety, or was there something more sinister behind her offer? Did they have their eyes on Earth next?
Ember’s life was such a mess. Every time she tried to protect someone, she made it worse. Now wasn’t the time to be thinking about kissing. She had a village to save.
“This—this thing,” she said, motioning to the space between them. “Whatever it is, it ends now. You were right. It’s not just about us.”
“Ember—”
“I’m sorry.”
She strode away without giving him a second glance. She continued down the hall, and her guard leaped to his feet after her, but she ignored him and made her way to the lift, trying to swallow down the hot, sticky lump in her throat. The guard hurried inside and called out for deck eight. The corridor was empty behind them as the doors closed.
Stefan hadn’t followed her.
21
When Ember arrived at the simulator, she found the entire class standing in the crowded entry area. Her instructor, a woman with white hair and a stern face, nodded to Ember. “Thirteen minutes late. Thank you for volunteering, Ember gypsy.” She turned her attention back to the class. “Raise your hands and share your observations.”
Still fuming from her encounter with Stefan, Ember made her way toward the simulator’s black doors. She was angry at him for coming to the market, for being kind to her on the shuttle, for making her question how terrible the Empire really was.
But the worst part was how efficiently he’d destroyed her defenses in the medical bay. Kane and Talon had inflicted a terrible, consuming pain on her to chip away at her resistance. All it had taken for Stefan to crack her resolve was a single touch, an almost-kiss. Her cheek was still warm where he’d cupped it in his palm. Or maybe the heat in her cheeks was something else entirely.
She entered the simulator room, which was built to resemble a launchpad. Two small three-person shuttles sat across from each other. There was someone in one of them, she noticed, although she couldn’t tell through the dark glass whether it was a man or woman. She stepped into the empty shuttle and plopped into her seat.