by Lotta Smith
“Shut up!” Vina screamed. “I’ve been here all this time, and this bitch kept dissing me like I don’t exist.”
“That’s because you were dead,” I shot back. “Besides that, Fiona is Leo’s wife, whereas you’re his other woman. What kind of wife offers condolences to her husband’s mistress who just sneaked out with him, banging him in her home when she herself was present, not exactly at the scene of the affair but in the perimeter?”
“Mandy, step aside!” Brian’s voice boomed. “Jackie, move out of the way!”
“Oh… got it!” Jackie waved and disappeared while Rick pulled me aside.
When I looked at Brian, he already had a human-shaped paper craft charm in one hand. Mumbling something that sounded like a holy spell, he brushed Fiona’s neck three times using the charm. Then he gave her a rather hard pat on the back.
Fiona exhaled sharply, and then she gagged. Her whole body trembled, threatening to collapse.
Indeed, she would have crumpled if Brian hadn’t steadied her in his arms.
“Fiona, are you okay?” Jackie and I said in unison, though Fiona couldn’t hear my guardian ghost’s voice.
As I looked into her eyes, Fiona nodded. “I… think, I’m okay,” she mumbled. Then she nodded again. “I’m okay.”
“Are you sure?” Brian asked, still holding her shoulders from behind. “You were being strangled by her,” he said, indicating the motionless corpse of bloody Vina.
“Oh my,” Fiona gasped. Then she felt her neck, where her skin was turning pink. “I thought I was just zoning out, having an anxiety attack or something. I couldn’t breathe, and my airway felt like it was being constricted. But… it was real?”
She sounded like she was questioning her own memory.
“Yes, it was real,” Brian said, still holding Fiona. “I know you don’t want to believe that. But don’t worry, I removed her from this world, so she won’t bother you anymore.”
“Oh,” Fiona mumbled. Then she looked back at Brian and straightened up, as if she’d noticed the exorcist steadying her for the first time. “Look, Brian, thank you so much for helping me.” She smiled awkwardly.
“That was nothing,” Brian replied. He was blushing pathetically.
“Wait a minute,” Rick interjected. “Brian, did you just say you removed the ghost of Vina?”
“Yeah, I did. So what?” Brian shrugged. “She seemed to be dangerous. As they say, better safe than sorry.”
“Come on! I hadn’t asked her about the whodunit part of her murder.” Rick made a tsk-tsk sound.
“Don’t bother. We still have Leo as a witness.” Brian crossed his arms over his chest. “Unless he’s the guy who whacked Vina, he should be able to tell us about the killer.”
“Hmm… Brian has a point,” Jackie commented, popping up by my side and doing a little finger wave at me. “Hi, Mandy!”
I waved back.
“Jackie agrees with me,” Brian said.
“Can’t you at least call her and retrieve the name of her killer?” Rick persisted, but Brian shook his head. “Not happening.”
“Oh my God.” Fiona sniffed. “My husband’s mistress had sex with him while I was home, and now I have her body in my garage.”
“It’s okay, Fiona. Don’t cry.” I hugged my BFF, patting her shoulders as she sobbed.
“It’s not okay!” she wailed. “On top of it all, Leo might be the killer! What kind of person would visit a bed and breakfast where someone got murdered on its perimeter, especially when the killer was the owner’s husband? No one! I mean no one! Nobody’s ever going to come here to even have a tea or coffee, much less stay for a night or two. Talk about stigmatized real estate! My family manor is so ruined! My plan of turning this place into an intimate B & B is so over!”
While Fiona sobbed, Brian seemed flustered, as if he was genuinely clueless as to how to console her.
Rick glanced at me, suggesting, “Mandy, perhaps you want to escort Fiona back to the main building so she can sit down and relax.”
“Sounds good.” I nodded. “Let’s go, Fiona. I’ll fix some chamomile tea. How does that sound?”
“G-good,” Fiona muttered between sobs.
“Take care.” Rick handed me his flashlight. “Jackie, make sure you take them back to the main building safely. Don’t get any of them hurt. Is that clear?” he said to the air before him.
“All clear!” Jackie gave him a thumbs-up.
While Brian relayed the ghost’s words to Rick, we ambled out of the garage.
CHAPTER 9
“I can’t believe his audacity! I knew Leo wasn’t going to be listed in Sexiest Man Alive anytime soon, but I never imagined him boinking another woman in the perimeter of my family home right under my nose!” Fiona hissed. “I should have married someone hotter. I wouldn’t be as infuriated right now if my cheating husband happened to be someone who could star on the Bachelor. Instead, I married Leo just because he was available and he didn’t look like Harry!”
“Come on, Fiona. We’ve forgotten about Harry, you know,” I cooed. I suspected she’d be angered in this situation regardless of her hubby’s hotness, but I was smart enough to keep my opinion to myself.
“Who’s Harry?” Jackie asked curiously.
“I’ll tell you later,” I mouthed to the ghost of a drag queen. I couldn’t tell Jackie about Harry, who used to date Fiona until she caught him involved in an intimate relationship with a golden retriever. After the incident, Fiona broke up with Harry immediately, and we’d rewritten the story so Harry suffered a tragic death due to a severe asphyxiation while having sexual intercourse with a Holstein cow, even though he was still alive and married to some veterinary physician in Oklahoma.
“Okay,” Jackie said, like she grasped some part of the situation. “Watch your step, okay? You don’t want to get trapped in that pothole.”
“Fiona, let’s watch our steps. Jackie says there’s a pothole near us,” I warned my friend.
Fiona and I were slowly moving in fog still so thick that it felt like I had glasses with its lenses made of frosted glass.
“Got it.” Fiona sighed, and her rant went on. “Having an affair is one thing, despite his newly found lowness. However, that SOB may have murdered that woman in my family home! How could he do that to me? He could have pushed her into the harbor or whatever, but not here. And on top of all that, who could have expected that the ghost of the murdered bitch would try to strangle me? This is totally out of control!”
“I know.” I patted her arm. “Still, look at the bright side. Just like in the Super 8 movie, you were strangled, but you’re still alive and safe. That’s something to be glad about, you know.”
“Maybe you have a point,” she agreed, taking a moment to pause walking. “So, I was concerned about my safety after watching myself being choked to death in that film. Now I was strangled by Vina, but I didn’t die thanks to Brian.”
“Right. He said he’s gotten rid of her,” I conceded. “So you don’t have to worry about the ghost of Vina, because when Brian’s exorcised a ghost, it can’t come back to this world for revenge or whatever purposes.”
“That’s reassuring.” Fiona’s voice echoed. “Considering I’ve survived the crisis headed my way thanks to Brian, Rick, and you, perhaps you’re right and I’d better look at the bright side….”
Fiona sounded like she had more to say, but her voice suddenly faded with what sounded like a hiccup, and her hand slipped away from mine.
The exact moment that I called Fiona’s name, Jackie shrieked, “Oh my God! Fiona’s just got snatched!”
“Excuse me?” I shrieked back. “Where is she?”
Then I caught Fiona’s muffled voice saying, “Help! Please… Mandy….”
“Fiona! Where are you?” Calling her name, I turned around and looked for her, but that only had me losing my sense of direction.
“No! Mandy, you’re looking in the opposite direction!” Jackie alerted me.
�
��Jackie, please lead me to where Fiona is,” I pleaded. “If that’s too difficult, clear away the fog at least.”
“Come on, Mandy. I’m not equipped with such a power,” Jackie replied. “Besides that, where is Beverly, and what is she doing right now when her beloved granddaughter is in such jeopardy?”
I gasped. “Jackie, you have a point.” I blew her a kiss in gratitude.
“Oh… thanks?” Jackie replied, sounding confused.
It was strange and magical that I couldn’t see anything physical in the fog; however, I could see Jackie clear as the day. Perhaps that had something to do with the distinct glow she sported in the dark, or perhaps that was just my bond with her.
“Beverly!” I called Fiona’s granny’s name in the creamy fog. “Beverly, Fiona has just been snatched, and she’s in serious trouble. Please clear this fog away so I can rescue her!”
Following my plea that sounded more like a scream, a slit of clear vision appeared in the fog. Beyond the crack, I could see Fiona being pinned down on the ground by a man who was leaning over her, strangling her using both hands.
“Jackie, call Brian and Rick for backup, will you?” Then I ran toward the man on top of Fiona.
However, before I could reach her, something hustled by my side like a blast of wind.
“What…?” My eyes widened.
I squinted in the night with less dense fog to see Brian sprinting by my side, followed by Rick and the camera guy.
Brian charged toward Fiona, who was still entangled with the assailant, and as I gaped with my mouth wide open, he body-slammed the guy on top of Fiona.
As soon as Brian’s shoulders touched him, the man about to kill Fiona flew away like a crash test dummy hit by an eighteen-wheeler truck.
Producing something resembling “Yow,” the assailant was knocked out and didn’t get up.
“Oh my God!” Jackie exclaimed. “I know he’s a super-duper exorcist, but I never knew he was so physically mighty.”
“Me neither,” I agreed.
“Good job!” Rick applauded. “First time in years that I’ve seen your tackle. You’re getting better and better.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Brian shrugged. “Maybe I should have pursued a career in the NFL.”
“Of course,” Rick said. “Except you punched the guy in the face who happened to be the general manager of the team you were about to sign a contract with. In my opinion, you should have kicked him really hard in the nuts to demonstrate that you were such an asset to the team. Not to mention the SOB was attempting to rape a cleaning lady.”
Brian harrumphed. “The past is in the past. I’m an exorcist and I like it.” Then he looked down at Fiona as she gasped as if she was trying to catch her breath. “Fiona, are you all right?”
“Oh… I don’t know. But I’m guessing I’m good. Thank you,” she murmured as she clasped Brian’s hands firmly. Fat tears rolled down her face in streams.
“Are you hurt? Should we call an ambulance?” he asked, frowning his bushy eyebrows. “Oh, you have blood on your neck. Did he slash you or something?”
Fiona felt her neck, shaking her head. “I don’t think it’s mine. His grip wasn’t strong enough to break my skin.”
“Fiona, I have good news for you,” Rick said abruptly, glancing at her assailant who was still knocked out cold. “Assuming from the blood spattered all over him, this guy is the one who whacked Vina, not your husband.”
“Oh….” Her eyes widened as she looked at her assailant. “It’s Wesley Andreano. Oh my God, why did he try to kill me?”
“Perhaps because he had a crush on you?” Rick said. “I’m just making an assumption, though. He must have caught Leo with Vina.”
“Excuse me? Did he kill that woman for me?”
“I don’t know. He might have attempted to kill Leo but mistakenly whacked Vina instead.”
The fog had cleared while Brian was wrestling Wesley Andreano.
At that moment, the flashlight Rick handed me had finally turned useful. I looked around and found a huge spanner wrench on the ground. As I approached it, I noticed it was covered with blood. Also, a strand of long, dark hair was stuck on it.
“I think I’ve just found the murder weapon used to crack Vina’s head.” I waved at Rick to come and see the spanner.
“Okay. So it’s screaming ‘the murder weapon!’” Rick jogged toward me and observed the bloody tool.
“Fiona, you’re lucky,” I announced. “At least he didn’t try to whack you using the same weapon he used on Vina.”
“Wow, I’m impressed.” Fiona rolled her eyes as she massaged her throat. “Should I thank Wesley for that? I don’t think so.”
Her words were sarcastic, but her tone was optimistic considering what she went through in the past few hours.
After the fog disappeared, the night sky was clear with stars twinkling here and there. Sirens echoed from the distance, indicating the police cars were coming.
“Brian.” Rick turned to the exorcist, who was still consoling Fiona in his arms. “Help Fiona to the main building so she can relax, perhaps give her something to drink. If possible, bring the tour guests and Leo to the main building as well. The police will be keen on talking to everyone here, especially Leo. By the way, you’ll want to call your camera crew to prepare a backup of their recording, as the police will tell them to submit everything.”
“All right.” Brian nodded and took his phone out of his pants pocket. After making a call, he turned to Fiona. “Fiona, can you stand up?”
“Of course.” She smiled. “It’s not like I’m hurt or anything—oh….” She tried to get on her feet, but she wobbled to her knees.
“It’s okay. Take it easy,” Brian said. “Do you mind if I carry you to the main building?”
Fiona’s eyes widened.
When she said, “No… I mean, yes.” Brian’s face visibly sank, but she went on. “Not that I’m saying ‘Don’t touch me!’ but I’d really hate it if you ended up with a backache. You know, I’m not light as a feather….”
Fiona was babbling and turning pink.
“Don’t worry, Fiona,” Rick chimed in. “Brian’s my go-to guy when I need an exorcist with muscles, and carrying you around will be a piece of cake for him. Oh, don’t forget that he’s a former NFL draft pick.”
“I didn’t know I was a muscle guy for you.” Brian frowned. “What’s with you always paying for my exorcism but not paying extra for my muscle work?”
“That’s because I’m your regular customer, and regulars always get some extra freebies,” Rick said matter-of-factly.
Brian snorted and turned to Fiona. “All right, let’s go,” he said and lifted her, carrying her like some sort of Disney princess.
“Look at Fiona. She’s smiling.” Jackie giggled by my side.
“You know what?” Rick turned to me as they went out of earshot. “I guess I just worked my magic as Cupid.”
I chuckled. “Maybe you’re right. Obviously, they have some chemistry between them.”
The corner of his lips quirked up into a lopsided grin. “Speaking of chemistry, why don’t we work on ours before the police arrive here?”
He lifted my chin and kissed me with lots of tongue and passion.
To be honest, I liked that very much—even though Wesley Andreano was groaning close to us.
CHAPTER 10
Things turned out to be extra hectic after the police arrived at the manor.
Wesley Andreano was arrested on the spot. It’s so true that looks can be deceiving. He looked like a square and harmless businessman, not a deranged murderer who killed one person and attempted to kill his subordinate as well.
Vina Burwick, a.k.a. Susan White, was pronounced dead, and her corpse was rolled out of the garage on a gurney.
Being a direct witness of the murder of Vina Burwick, Leo was escorted to the police department for questioning. On the other hand, Fiona was rushed to the hospital, as she was developing
bruises on her neck after getting strangled not once but twice.
The guests participating in Brian’s Club Paranormal Tourism had to provide their names and contact information to the police; however, most of them seemed happy and excited about visiting a haunted manor on the very night a murder and an attempted murder actually took place. The trio of Lauren, Carrie, and Stephanie couldn’t stop talking, and the cute officer with gray eyes had to ask them to stop asking questions when he was questioning them. Even though Brian’s TV crew had to submit the videos and recordings to the police, they were exhilarated about capturing truly thrilling scenes, including a real corpse—though that particular scene of Vina Burwick was scheduled to be pixelized to be less graphic—and Brian, the star of the show, rescuing Fiona from the assailant.
Fiona’s bruises were the color of pink sapphire that night, but by morning they turned violet. When I was looking at the pinky shade of her bruises, I decided on the color of bridesmaids’ dresses: pink sapphire. Of course, I wouldn’t tell my BFF about my deciding process of the dress color, and I had a good excuse. After all, my pink sapphire ring was the first gift Rick gave me, so I was going to share that memory with Fiona and disclose it as the reason. Hopefully she was going to recover nicely enough to be present at my wedding.
A day after the mayhem and fiasco, Brian, Rick, and I were still at Fiona’s family manor. Fiona was back from the local hospital with a clean bill of health; however, the emotional distress and the impact of learning about Leo’s infidelity in the worst possible manner were beyond tremendous for her. After returning home, she spent most of her time in bed. I was by her bedside until about an hour ago, when she asked me to call Brian to her room so she could speak with him in private. According to Fiona, she was in need of some serious counseling, and Brian, an exorcist who also happened to be a real Catholic priest, came in handy.
“What do you think Fiona and Brian are talking about?” I muttered, almost to myself.
“I don’t know.” Rick shrugged. “The beauty of having a conversation in private is whatever is discussed in the room stays there, especially when Brian has to stick to full confidentiality.”