by Cynthia Lord
I’d start with the props. I opened the email Owen had sent with my kayaking photos. The first ones were exactly what I’d asked for: me with Eagle Island in the background. Then I came to the photo I’d taken of Owen. The nose of my kayak was in the foreground of the shot and Owen was far enough ahead that he was slightly out of focus.
I’d print that one, too. Just for me.
I had planned to ask Dad if he could bring Lapi to school as a surprise. But then Iris would see Lapi and ask if I’d called yet. And maybe if I talked about him, I’d cry.
I decided to bring a photo of Molly and Maggie, instead. I loved them, too. Maybe I could even find a good photo from last Halloween. I had dressed as Alice from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, and Molly and Maggie had worn big bow ties and spinning caps as Tweedledee and Tweedledum. I bet the kids would find that funny.
For the last truth, I went to the windowsill for my Keep Going rock. I didn’t have to show anyone what it said, but it was still from the mountain.
Outside the window, it was almost dark, but I could still see the trees and the mountain on the other side of the lake. I missed seeing the lake change during the day. Amazing all the things you don’t even realize you’ll miss until you leave them or they leave you.
Looking at Keep Going in my hand, I found myself thinking about Jack. He’d kept going, trying to be my friend, even as I was hoping for someone else.
Owen’s words suddenly hit me hard, “You also have to be the friend you want to have.”
I looked over at my checklist.
Emma’s Best Friend Checklist
Likes me best.
Likes the things I like.
Shares secret jokes.
Is always on my side.
Lets me be me.
Forgives me when I’m sorry.
I hadn’t lived up my checklist myself. Not with Jack or Owen or even Lapi.
I hadn’t always been on Jack’s side.
Owen had let me be me, but I only wanted Owen to be himself if it included me. I didn’t want him to change and leave me behind.
I wanted to keep Lapi mine, because I needed him.
In fact, I’d wanted them all to be the kind of friend I needed, but I hadn’t tried as hard to be the one they needed.
Maybe it was too much to expect one person to be my “everything” best friend anyway. Maybe I already had what I needed, just spread out across a bunch of people. Some parts with Owen. Some parts with Lapi. Some parts with Jack. Some parts with Leah, even. Some parts to come with kids I didn’t know yet.
But I had to be a best friend, too.
I picked up the napkin. Lapi loved us now, but maybe he had loved his first family, too. With all my heart, I wanted him to stay with us. But what did he want?
I knew what I had to do. Even if it was hard or embarrassing or people got mad at me, I had to tell the truth about everything.
Even if it meant that I lost Lapi.
On presentation day, Scared was definitely running ahead of Excited.
Some of the other kids looked nervous, too, though. Maybe it wasn’t just me. Maybe standing in front of everyone and sharing something important about yourself was just plain hard.
Last night when I decided to ask Dad to bring Lapi, I’d only told him what time to come to surprise my class. But when he came into my classroom carrying the pet carrier, I got a surprise, too.
Owen stepped into my classroom with him.
Ms. Hutton’s eyebrows went up when she saw them. Her eyes widened to see the pet carrier. “Welcome,” Ms. Hutton said. “You must be Emma’s family. Such a nice surprise!”
“I thought you cleared this with her,” Dad said quietly to me.
“I told her you were bringing my reveal, but not what the reveal was,” I whispered. Then I turned to Owen. “Why aren’t you at school?”
He grinned. “I had study hall and then lunch, so I asked Dad to pick me up. I know you’ve had a rough week, and I remember how hard my first week was. I wanted to cheer you on.”
Excited grabbed the back of Scared’s shirt and yanked her backward.
Ms. Hutton smiled at me. “This looks like a fun ending to our program. We’ll let you go last, Emma.”
Last would be perfect! But as the other kids stood up and we guessed their lies and saw their reveals, I started to wish I could just do mine and get it over with.
I did find out some interesting things, though. Matt liked hiking, just like Ms. Hutton and me. Solange had twin brothers. Sarah collected sea glass. Brinn also had a pet rabbit! I couldn’t wait to talk to her about it.
And some of the lies were funny. Matt said his dad was a secret agent. Jaden told us he had won a beauty pageant as a baby. Mikayla said she had a cousin who was a movie star.
I loved watching the “Ms. Hutton’s Fabulous Fifth Graders” bulletin board fill up with photos of my classmates’ special people, places, and pets. The table showed off cool objects: Sarah’s sea glass collection, the glittery slime that Brinn had sold at a craft fair, and Kara’s favorite stuffed animal moose.
Everyone had interesting things about them, and I was excited to ask some questions to get to know the other kids better. Even if we didn’t become best friends, regular friends were good, too.
“Our last group is Iris, Leah, Jack, and Emma,” Ms. Hutton said.
Leah and Iris went first. As their part of the video played, Jack’s fingers were fluttering his secret wave at his sides.
My hands were shaking, too, rattling the photo in my hands. I hoped no one noticed, but even if they did, so what? Some other kids had seemed nervous, too.
When it was my turn to introduce Jack, it was weird to see myself on the classroom TV standing in my bedroom in front of my bookshelf. I wondered if Jack would notice that I had reshot the video last night and it wasn’t the one he’d filmed.
“Let me introduce you to Jack. His nickname is Jack Rabbit. Though, as Jack will tell you, jackrabbits are not actually rabbits. They’re hares.”
“Capable of speeds up to forty miles an hour,” Jack said under his breath next to me.
“Before coming to school here, I was homeschooled, and Jack has been a real friend to me. Here are some statements about him, but only two of them are true. See if you can guess the lie. Jack collects raffle tickets even though he has never won a raffle. Jack built a dinosaur skeleton with two hundred Legos. Jack learned to read at the age of three.”
Most kids guessed the raffle statement was the lie.
“Wrong!” Jack said. “The dinosaur skeleton had seven hundred and thirty Legos! I brought a photo to show you because the real model could break!”
“Wow!” I heard kids gasp as he showed the photo. “That’s amazing!”
Even Owen leaned forward to look, impressed.
After everyone had admired Jack’s photo and seen his book and tickets, Ms. Hutton took the photo to put on the bulletin board. “Jack, is there anything else you’d like us to know about you?”
“No,” he said matter-of-factly.
I raised my hand. “Could I give something to Jack?”
Ms. Hutton nodded. “Of course, Emma.”
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a rock. “It’s not a raffle, but you win this, Jack. I want you to have it.”
He turned it over in his hand. “Rabbit Magic,” he said, reading the words.
“My pépère used to say that all rabbits have magic. And you have Jack Rabbit magic of your own,” I said. “Thanks for being my friend.”
Jack smiled, handing me one of his tickets. “You give up the ticket when you win.”
I smiled back and put the raffle ticket in my pocket.
“Thank you, Emma,” Ms. Hutton said. “Jack, now it’s your turn to tell us about Emma.”
Jack started the video. “Let me introduce you to my friend Emma! Emma likes to go kayaking! Emma once climbed Mount Katahdin! Emma has a pet—parakeet!”
The kids guessed correctly that the parak
eet was the lie. It was pretty easy since Jack had hesitated as he said it, but I didn’t care.
“You’re right.” I said. “But actually, none of them are the whole truth.”
Ms. Hutton looked up from the notes she was taking. I wanted to get a good grade on this and these photos would be on the bulletin board for a while. But I also wanted to take a chance and be my whole self, even if the other kids didn’t understand or I got a bad grade.
“My brother, Owen, took a photo of me kayaking, but that’s not the photo I brought for the bulletin board. I do like kayaking, but I’ve always liked it best with Owen. We don’t go as often as we used to because he’s in high school and busier now. But even though I miss him, I’m really proud of him. And it’s extra special when I get to spend time with him.” As I turned the photo around, I looked slowly at Owen to see if he was embarrassed. When I chose the photo of him, I didn’t know he’d be there to see it.
Owen smiled at me. I saw nods from some of the other kids, too, like they understood. I felt lighter, almost dizzy with relief. I had said the truth and it had been okay. Better than okay—I felt understood.
“The second truth is that I did climb Mount Katahdin and this rock is from the trail.” I held up the rock and turned it over to show the words. “My brother wrote ‘Keep Going’ on it, because I wanted to quit part of the way up. But you don’t ever get past the hard parts if you quit.”
I couldn’t quit here, either. The hardest one was last.
“You’re right that I don’t have a pet parakeet,” I said. “But we do have two dogs and, for a while, we’ve had a pet rabbit. My dad and I rescued him as a stray, and I named him Lapi for the stories my pépère used to tell about a rabbit named Monsieur Lapin. I asked my dad to bring Lapi so you could meet him.” I gestured to Dad and to Lapi peeking out of his pet carrier.
“Yay!” Kara said. “A bunny!”
“He’s adorable!” Brinn added.
“Can we pet him?” Leah asked.
I nodded. “But first I have to tell you the whole truth.” I felt my throat filling with emotion. I pushed ahead anyway, hoping I could finish before the tears started. “I said he was our pet for a while, because I found out there were some signs up in town about a missing rabbit.”
I heard a gasp from the other kids. Owen and Dad exchanged confused looks.
“My brother helped me get the family’s phone number.” My voice was really shaking now. “I need to call them. If Lapi belongs to them, I have to give him back.”
Beside me, Jack reached into his pocket and took out his phone.
“Thanks,” I whispered to him. “But I didn’t mean now.”
“It’s just for emergencies,” he said, still holding it out to me.
It did feel like an emergency, even if it wasn’t the 9-1-1 kind. I looked at Ms. Hutton. “Could I call? It would be great to get this over with.”
She nodded. “We’re all worried with you. Do you want to practice first?”
“Actually, Jack helped me make cue cards. I think I’m ready.” I got the phone number and cue cards from the back of my assignment notebook.
Dad came over beside me. “I’m sorry, Em.”
“Me, too,” I replied. “But I promised you I’d give him back if we found his family. And it’s like the wild animals you bring home. Even if you wish you could keep them, they need to go back where they belong.”
The other kids circled around me. I couldn’t believe how concerned they all looked.
“Everyone, cross your fingers!” Matt said.
Seeing them all crossing their fingers, even Iris, gave me some extra courage.
Jack held the cue cards so I could read them. Owen put his arm around me as I called the number and pushed the button for speakerphone so everyone could hear.
Waiting, my eyes went to the bulletin board full of everyone’s special photos. Ms. Hutton had already put up the photo of Owen and me kayaking. Seeing my photo surrounded by everyone else’s made me smile. For the first time, I felt like maybe I could actually belong here.
“Hello?” a woman said.
Scared was the only one running.
“Hello. My name is Emma and I found a rabbit,” I read off the cue card in Jack’s hands. “I heard that you lost yours?”
“Yes!” the woman said happily. “Thank you so much for calling! The kids will be thrilled! We just moved here over the summer, and while we were unpacking, Clover got out of her pen. We’d given up hope!” She sounded nice, at least.
“My dad and I found a rabbit this summer,” I read. “We—”
“Her!” Owen whispered hard in my ear.
Wait. What? Then my brain caught up with me.
“Did you say her pen?” I asked.
“Yes!” the woman replied.
A girl! What if she’d made a mistake, though? I couldn’t let myself feel relieved—not yet. “The rabbit I found is a boy,” I said carefully. “My dad checked, but he said it’s sometimes hard to tell with rabbits. Are you sure yours is a girl?”
“I’m positive. She had babies when she was younger.” The woman sounded very disappointed. “Are you sure yours is a boy?”
I looked at Dad.
He nodded. “Definitely.”
Scared took a nose dive and hit the track hard. “Ours is a boy!” I said. “A little honey-colored bunny with a brown nose.”
“Oh,” she said sadly. “No. Clover is a white New Zealand. That’s definitely not our rabbit. Thank you for calling, though.”
“Wait! Don’t hang up!” I said. “There’s a white rabbit at the Rangeley Animal Shelter! I saw it when we brought our rabbit in to find out if someone was missing him. Maybe that white rabbit is Clover?”
“Really? Oh, maybe it is! I’ll call them right away!”
“I hope you find her,” I said.
“I hope your rabbit finds his home, too,” she replied.
I grinned. Lapi had found his home. “Thank you.”
Everyone was quiet as I hung up the phone. Then they all started talking at once.
“Hooray!” Brinn said.
“I thought I might throw up, I was so worried!” Brandon said.
“I’m so glad!” Leah added.
“We only have a few minutes before lunch, so let’s make the most of it,” Ms. Hutton said. “Everyone who wants to, come sit on the rug so we can meet Lapi more easily.”
“And I have bits of parsley that you can give him,” Dad said, passing it out to the kids. “It’s one of his favorites.”
Owen set Lapi’s carrier on the rug. He had barely opened the door before Lapi poked his face out. Then he hopped onto the rug and binkied!
“Oh, he’s so cute!” Sarah said.
As Lapi hopped around the rug and ate parsley, Iris came over to me. “I’m really sorry,” she said quietly.
Sorry? “It’s okay,” I said. “It all turned out great.”
She looked at the floor. “There was a photo of a white rabbit on the poster. I knew it wasn’t Lapi.”
My mouth dropped open. “You lied?”
“It wasn’t really a lie,” Iris said. “I just didn’t tell you everything. You wanted to be Leah’s friend and I’ve been her best friend forever. I didn’t want you to squeeze me out.”
I stared at her. Part of me wanted to yell at her. I’d worried so much and she knew all along that it wasn’t Lapi!
But another part of me understood. I’d felt left out about Owen having new friends, too. It’s hard to be left behind by someone important to you.
“It’s okay to have more than one friend,” I said. “And for friends to change. I’ve been thinking about that, too.”
She smiled. “Martha is absent today if you want to sit with us at lunch.”
“Thanks.” It was nice of her to offer, but I had other plans. “I’m asking Jack if I can sit with him.”
“Lapi’s out!” Brinn said.
I turned to see that he’d squeezed through the half-open doo
r to the hallway.
“Don’t worry! I’ll get him.” I smiled at Dad. “I’m a trained Rabbit Wrangler!”
But the long hallway was perfect for racing. Lapi looked at me with that flash of freedom in his eyes and took off, faster than I could run! He went into the first open door he found—the girls’ bathroom.
Jack caught up to me. “You guard the doorway, okay?” I said. “Don’t let him get out.”
It wasn’t easy to grab Lapi, even with no one else in there. He hopped under the stalls and slid on the floor. He binkied between the sinks. I finally cornered him at the trash can.
Jack was standing in the doorway, his arms and legs out to block Lapi from escaping. “Silly Monsieur Lapin,” he said. “You’ll never be a nuthatch. You are a rabbit!”
I laughed. “You’re right,” I said, holding Lapi against my heart. “None of Monsieur Lapin’s friends ever wanted him to be something else. They liked him already.” I smiled at Jack. “So they ate together as friends—even though rabbits are herbivores.”
Jack nodded. “Because it’s magic.”
So it was. The first week of school had been harder than I could’ve dreamed, but I could feel change coming, like when the wind suddenly shifts on the lake and you know the storm is passing. Rabbit magic had come, or maybe it had been there all along, and I just didn’t see it. There were things I still missed about homeschooling, but now there were some things I’d miss about public school, too. Maybe that’s just how growing up is, like Going Forward and Looking Back are in a race. You know Going Forward will win, but you can’t help rooting for Looking Back sometimes, too.
“You are a wascally wabbit!” Jack said in his Elmer Fudd voice.
Walking to our classroom, I let joy and relief fill me. I was grateful that Lapi was still mine, but even more than that, I felt free. I had been my whole self, and it’d been okay. For the first time, I knew why Lapi had binkied as soon as we’d released him from the fence. Freedom is just too big to hold inside you.
Right there in the hallway, not caring who saw me, I held Lapi tight and jumped into the air and twisted.
A perfect Emma binky.
When I talk to readers, I’m often asked, “Where do your ideas come from?” My books always start from tiny seeds of real life. Then I water those seeds with my imagination until a story grows. Having some real things and feelings underneath the story makes it all feel more real, even if most of the story is made up.