***
When he woke up it took him a minute to figure out where he was. He lifted his head to look around and immediately put it back down on the pillow on the sofa. Jesus, how much had he had to drink last night? And how did he get here? He hoped like hell he hadn’t driven here.
He didn’t remember a thing except his crazy-ass dreams. Renie was in all of them, and he was kissing her. It made him hard thinking about it. He closed his eyes, not ready to get up yet. His head was spinning. Also, when he closed his eyes, the dream about Renie came back to him enough that he felt her lips against his.
He dozed off again, when he woke back up, he pulled his phone out to check the time. One in the afternoon? Shit. He sat up, a little too quickly, and had to wait for a second before he stood. He walked as far as the kitchen and saw his truck keys on the counter. Oh no, he did drive home. What was wrong with him? He knew better. He picked up his keys and saw the note.
Your dad and I went and got your truck. Took care of the horses. Your turn tonight. Renie.
He hadn’t dreamt it; she had been here. What about the rest of it? He hoped the memories swirling around in his head were from a dream, and that he hadn’t kissed her.
Billy went to the door and didn’t see her car.
He walked to the refrigerator and pulled out a beer. He saw a container that hadn’t been there the day before. It looked like soup. God love Renie Fairchild, she’d left him something to eat. He heated it up and went to sit back on the sofa, but instead kept going, and went and got into bed.
He set the bowl down on the dresser and pulled out his phone.
Where are you? he texted. He set the phone down and picked up his soup. She still hadn’t answered by the time he finished it. He put his head down on the pillow. He’d sleep a little while, then get up and check on the horses.
He shook himself awake and checked to see whether Renie had answered him yet. Nope. It was almost five. If he went out and took care of the horses now, he could go back to sleep after he did.
He walked into the barn. Something didn’t feel right. He looked in each of the stalls, and then it hit him, where was Pooh? He didn’t remember seeing her out in the pasture. He walked back out to check anyway. No sign of her.
He checked his phone again. Renie still hadn’t answered him. Now he was worried. He couldn’t very well text her and ask her about her horse, the one that was supposed to be in his care. He called his dad.
“I have a situation over here Dad. I might need your help.”
“What’s goin’ on son?” Billy hit the parent jackpot. There weren’t two better people on the face of the earth.
“I think I lost a horse.”
His dad started to laugh. “A whole horse?”
“Seriously Dad, I can’t find Pooh.”
“Renie brought her here.”
“Why did she do that? And why didn’t she tell me? Shit, she practically gave me a heart attack.”
“She wouldn’t say, just asked whether it was okay if she did. Then, she told your mama she’d explain later. I hate to ask you this Billy, but did you do something to upset Renie?”
Maybe he hadn’t been dreaming after all. And if not, he just made the worst mistake of his life.
***
Renie would have to find somewhere else to board Pooh. Dottie told her she could keep her horse in their barn as long as she needed, but she couldn’t impose long. First thing Monday morning she planned to find a place closer to school, and then she’d go down and get her horse. She hoped she didn’t run into Billy when she did.
***
“I don’t feel right about this son,” Bill said.
“Pooh’s home is on the other side of this hill Dad. I don’t know what Renie’s particular problem is, other than I went out and got drunk last night, and then made the mistake of asking her to give me a ride home. I can see her bein’ pissed at me, but that isn’t a reason to move her horse.”
“She seemed determined.”
That made Billy laugh. Renie was always determined. “That doesn’t sound so unusual Dad.”
Bill laughed too. Yep, determined was practically her middle name.
“She’s gonna be mad.”
“Yep, I know it. But I’ll keep you and mom out of it.”
He needed to get to the bottom of what Renie was upset about.
Bill put his hand on his son’s shoulder. “Why don’t you tell me what’s really going on?”
“She won’t answer me.”
“Who won’t?”
“Renie. When I got up this morning, she was gone. I’ve been trying to get in touch with her all day. She won’t answer me.”
***
Billy texted Renie again, for the fifth time. Still no response out of her. He wanted to wring her damn neck.
“Hey, have you talked to Renie?” He called Liv and asked her.
“Yes, this morning, why? Is everything okay?”
He didn’t want to get into what may, or may not, have happened, particularly since he couldn’t remember last night very clearly. He also didn’t want to tell Liv that Renie moved Pooh to his parents’ stable, or that he brought Pooh back to his barn. That would unleash a whole slew of questions he didn’t have answers to.
“Everything is fine. I’m trying to reach her and haven’t been able to.”
“She seemed okay earlier, but I can call her again if you think it’s necessary. What’s up? Anything I can help with?”
“You’ve done enough. How you talked me into keeping the stables goin’ is beyond me.”
“Billy, what does this have to do with Renie?”
“Just ask her to call me.”
Three hours later he got a text from her.
What?
Was she kidding? Call me.
Fifteen minutes. No response. No call. He called her, but she didn’t answer. Now he was pissed.
What the hell Renie? What’s your problem?
***
What was her problem? If he remembered what happened the night before, he wouldn’t be asking her that question.
All her life she wanted Billy Patterson to kiss her, and now that he had, he didn’t even remember it.
And what the hell had he been talking about last night? All that stuff about her ghost haunting him? It had to have been the whiskey.
***
Renie was about to have the most awkward conversation of her life. She was calling her mom to talk about Billy. She didn’t have any choice, there was no one else she trusted enough to tell her deepest darkest secret to.
“Hey Ben,” Renie said when her mother’s husband answered. The cell coverage at their ranch in Crested Butte was spotty, so Renie usually tried the house phone first. “Is my mom around?”
“Yep, she is, I’ll get her. How are you? Everything okay?”
She loved Ben, but she didn’t want to talk to him; she wanted to talk to her mom. “Yeah, I’m fine.” Ben must’ve taken the hint because he didn’t say anything else.
“Hi sweet girl, how are you?”
“I’m okay. I need to talk to you about Billy.”
“I thought you might since he called and asked me whether I had heard from you. What’s going on with you two? Is he giving you a hard time about the stables? That isn’t your problem, that’s between him and me.”
“No, that isn’t it.” Renie had no idea how she would be able to say what she had to say. “Um…”
“Renie just say it. I can hear you’re upset by the sound of your voice. What is it?”
“It’s about me and Billy.”
Silence—the reaction Renie had been expecting.
“Mom, are you there?”
“I’m here. Where are you?”
“At school.”
“Are you okay honey?”
Her mother’s voice got soft, as it did when she knew Renie was hurting about something. She loved that about her mom, when she got it so easily that Renie didn’t have to explain.
&
nbsp; “I don’t know. Mom, I’m not sure how to say this.”
Liv would murder Billy Patterson. If he hurt one hair on her daughter’s head, she would have to kill him.
“Just tell me sweetheart. What has Billy done?”
“You know how everybody used to joke that Billy spent most of his life in love with you?”
“We used to joke that Billy had a crush on me when he was a teenager. That’s a whole lot different than being in love with me. What’s going on Renie?”
“Well someone else has spent their whole life being in love with him.”
Liv sat down when her heart went into her throat. How had she not seen this? “Are you that someone Renie?”
“Yes.”
“And what’s happened?”
Renie told her about Billy’s offer to let her stay at the house on the weekends, and then told her what had happened the night before, when Billy kissed her.
“The worst part Mom, is that he doesn’t remember it.”
Renie was crying, which was completely unlike her.
She hadn’t dated much in high school, which worried Liv some, but it also made things easier. She hadn’t dated in high school either, and if her daughter had looked to her for advice, she would have been lost.
This was the first time Renie mentioned a specific boy to her, and she was twenty-three years old. Her confession about Billy explained why.
***
Now that Renie wasn’t talking to him, Billy realized how much he talked to her. Not talked necessarily, but texted. He doubted there’d been a day in as long as he could remember when they didn’t. When he had a good ride, she was the first person he sent a text to. When he was sitting at home, doing nothing, he’d text her to see what she was doing. No matter what, she was always the first person he wanted to talk to. Why hadn’t he noticed it before? She comforted him. She was his touchstone. And now she wouldn’t answer him.
He knew deep down it hadn’t been a dream. He hadn’t dreamt it, he kissed her. If he closed his eyes, he could still feel her lips against his. And that’s why she wouldn’t answer him.
I’m sorry, he texted, not knowing what else to say.
Still no answer.
***
The next morning Liv decided to visit Dottie. She was due for a visit anyway. Ben said he’d fly her over and hang out at Paige and Mark Cochran’s who lived between Liv’s old ranch and downtown Monument.
Ben was on hiatus from touring while his band, CB Rice, recorded a new album. It was a good time for him to take a couple days break from the studio. They kept the plane he and the band shared with his parents at the airport in Gunnison. Liv could be in Monument in less than two hours.
“You sure you want to do this?” Ben asked her.
“I am. I’ve never heard Renie talk this way, even if I don’t get anywhere with Dottie, I have to see my daughter.”
They rented a car at the Centennial airport, and Liv dropped Ben off at the Cochran’s.
“I could come with you,” he offered.
“Thanks, but it would be better if you stayed here.” They were spending the night there anyway, unless Liv decided she needed to go see Renie tonight. Fort Collins was a little less than two hours from Monument.
Liv pulled into the long driveway at Patterson Ranch; she could see her old place from there. Billy’s truck was parked near the house. She hoped that meant he was there not here.
“Hey-o,” she said when she walked in the back door. “Anybody home?”
“Oh my goodness is that a sound for sore ears! Is that my Livvie?” Dottie came out of the kitchen and wrapped Liv in a big hug. Nobody hugged like Dottie.
“Hi Dottie,” Liv teared up a little being in the kitchen where she’d spent so much time. “I’ve missed you,” she looked around, “and this place.”
“I missed you too. And while I surely am happy to see you, I gotta ask, what brings you to my kitchen today?”
Whenever Liv had a problem, of any kind, Dottie was the first person she talked to about it.
“It’s about Renie.”
Dottie sighed heavily. “I knew that. She was here yesterday. Asked whether we’d keep Pooh here in our barn for a couple of days. Said she wants to move her to a stable in Fort Collins. Closer to her.”
Renie hadn’t mentioned that during their conversation the night before.
“It has something to do with Billy.”
Dottie laughed, “That’s obvious darlin’.” Dottie patted Liv’s hand and stood. “Get you something to drink?”
“What time is it?” Liv asked, looking at her watch, three in the afternoon. “I would love a glass of wine.”
Dottie went into the pantry and pulled out a bottle of Zinfandel, Liv’s favorite.
Liv told Dottie about her conversation with Renie. “I didn’t see this coming, at all.”
Dottie didn’t say anything. She always said something, so when she didn’t, Liv didn’t know what to think. “Dottie?”
“I’ve been watchin’ this for a while. Watchin’ both of them. There isn’t a thing he does in his life without talkin’ to Renie about it. And God knows she’s had a mad love on him since she was a wee little thing.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Oh honey, how could you have not noticed?” Dottie patted her hand again.
“Why didn’t you say something to me?” How long had she been completely insensitive to her own daughter?
“Renie’s real good at makin’ sure everything stays on an even keel. She isn’t ever gonna be the one to rock the boat. She’s used to hiding her feelings Liv. You know that. ”
“But Billy? I didn’t see it.”
“For the longest time, there wasn’t anything to see. She was a girl, and he was a man. But in the last couple of years, that’s changed. Renie is a woman now. And Billy’s noticed.”
“She’s upset with him right now. She’s hurt.”
“He’s hurtin’ too. It’s what they both need. He needs it, so he realizes what she means to him. She needs it, so she realizes she can’t keep hiding her feelings.”
Liv knew talking to Dottie would be the best thing she could do. And it wouldn’t have been the same if she had called her instead of coming here.
“So Mama Patterson, what do we do about our kids?”
Dottie laughed and poured Liv another glass of wine. “Not a thing darlin’ girl. We let ’em figure it out for themselves.”
“You are a wise woman Dottie. I’m thankful every day that you’re in my life.”
“Who knows Livvie, we might end up official family after all.”
Liv’s face went white, which made Dottie laugh. She laughed so hard she had to hold her stomach.
“It’s gonna happen someday you know. Why not with Billy?” Dottie asked once her giggles had subsided.
“You’ve had longer to get used to the idea,” answered Liv. “Give me a little while to catch up.”
***
Renie please. I’m sorry, he wrote again, the next morning. This was killing him, and he didn’t know what to do about it.
I brought Pooh home. Maybe that’d get her to respond.
Less than a minute later Billy’s phone rang. Yep, that worked.
“I don’t want Pooh at your place, Billy. You don’t have anyone to take care of her.”
“That’s all you’re gonna say? You aren’t going to ask what I’m sorry for?”
“I don’t care what you’re sorry for, unless it’s because you moved my horse.”
“I’m here, and when I am, I take good care of her along with the rest of the horses that board here. Also, I hired Sookie. He’s gonna stay here whenever I’m out of town.”
“I decided to bring her up here anyway.”
“Why Renie? Because I kissed you?”
She didn’t answer. He wondered for a minute if she hung up, but then he heard her breathing.
“It isn’t a reason to move her, but it is a reason for us to talk,
which we could’ve done if you hadn’t high-tailed it out of here yesterday. And then refused to answer any of my texts.”
“You were drunk.”
“I was drunk. Still, not a reason for you to refuse to talk to me.”
More silence.
“Look, you gotta give me somethin’ here. Are you mad at me because you didn’t want me to kiss you, or are you mad at me because you did?”
She hesitated. “I’m not sure.”
“What are you doin’ right now?”
“Billy—”
“Just answer me. What are you doin’ right now?”
“Trying to study.”
“Is it workin’?”
“No, not very well.”
“You think if we hang up right now, it’ll get better?”
“No.”
“I’m comin’ to your place.”
“No, don’t do that.”
“We gotta resolve this Renie. These have been the two worst days of my life.”
“Why?”
“I’ll tell you when I get there.”
Chapter 4
“Have you talked to her?” Billy asked his mom.
“Livvie, or Renie?” Dottie talked to Liv at least once a week. Billy knew that much.
“Either.”
“I talked to Liv a couple of days ago.”
“How’s she doin’?”
“Which one?”
He gave her exasperated look. “As if my life isn’t hard enough Mama, come on.”
“Liv is concerned about her. Renie asked Ben about workin’ at the Goat for the season.” Dottie shook her head.
Willow started babbling through the monitor. She rarely ever cried when she first woke. She babbled. He’d go in to get her, and she’d be standing up in her crib, watching the door, waiting for him. As soon as he walked in she’d babble even more, and reach out for him to pick her up.
“Well, there’s my pretty girl,” he kissed her forehead, and held her close. “Grandma’s here. Let’s go see Grandma.”
Willow kicked her legs and continued with her unintelligible stream of conversation. He couldn’t wait until he understood all that she had to tell him. She was such a chatterbox. Just as Renie used to be. He’d watch her out in the pasture, talking to Pooh a mile a minute. God he missed her.
And Then You Dance Page 4