“When will the boys be back?” she asked.
“Tonight. I miss ’em so much.”
Ben was close to his boys. He hated to be away from them when his band was on tour, and he hated to be away from them when they were with their mom. Like Jake, Ben liked everyone close, and everyone happy.
“When will you tell them?”
“Soon. Maybe tonight. You two gonna be around? It might be nice to tell them with the whole family here.”
“The whole family? Your mom, dad, and everybody?”
“No, I was thinking our whole family,” Ben winked at her.
She looked at Billy.
“Okay by me. What time’s dinner? There are a couple things I wanted to do before then, if we have time.”
Renie blushed, and Ben started to laugh.
“Go do what you gotta do, and be back here by seven,” Ben said, still laughing and heading out of the kitchen.
“Nice Billy,” Renie said once Ben had left the room. “Tell my stepfather we’re gonna go have sex, why don’t you?”
Billy shrugged his shoulders and smiled. Yep, he could get away with most anything with his blue eyes, that smile, and those dimples.
“Do you need to call home?” she asked him.
“Nah, we did a little Facetime while you were talkin’ to your mom.”
“What? You did what?”
“Facetime,” he said, showing her his phone. “You know what that is right?”
“Yes I do Billy, but it isn’t something I would expect you to know about.”
“I’m more techno than you. It’s one of those things you don’t want to admit about me. It’s okay, if you think the whole cowboy thing is sexier, we’ll stick with that.”
They were back at the house Billy was staying in.
“Why didn’t you get a hotel room? There are plenty of them around here, and the rooms are cheap since the season hasn’t started yet.”
Why hadn’t he? Because he wanted to have crazy, loud, anywhere-he-wanted-to-have-it sex with her. That’s why. He didn’t want to be confined to a hotel room, where she didn’t feel comfortable, or they had to worry about someone hearing them.
“I don’t like hotel rooms. I spent too much time in them when I was on the circuit.” That was another thing, he didn’t have sex with Renie, they made love, and it wasn’t something he wanted to do in a hotel room. He’d had too much sex in hotel rooms.
“Are you officially retired Billy? I haven’t paid much attention to circuit news.”
Billy hadn’t announced it yet, but word was out that Billy was raising his kid, whose mother had died. As much as he didn’t want to ride saddle broncs anymore, he didn’t want to face the gossip and small-mindedness there would be out on the circuit. It was time he made the official announcement.
There was a Bose dock for an iPod in the family room. Billy set his phone in it, scrolled through his music and hit play.
“Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin,” played through the speaker and Billy put his arms around Renie. “Dance with me darlin.”
Renie melted into him and let him dance her around the room.
“I love havin’ you in my arms, feelin’ your body up against mine.” His lips trailed down the side of her face, down to her neck. She arched back and Billy continued his way down to her shoulder. He reached down and unbuttoned her shirt, then pushed it off one shoulder so his lips could touch more of her skin.
He moved her across the floor, to the bedroom, moving her shirt off her other shoulder as they went. Instead of dancing her to the bed, he backed her into the wall, pushing her up against it, while his hands found the zipper on her jeans, unfastened them, and pushed them over her hips and to the floor.
He wanted her there, where she was, up against the wall. He wanted to feel her legs wrapped around him, clinging to him. He wanted her to need him, to hold her, to love her, to remind her that he was the man for her. The only man for her. The only man who knew every inch of her, and how to make her feel better than she ever had before.
“Billy,” she whimpered.
He grasped her thighs, and she put them around his waist. He slid inside her, and she gasped.
“Tell me Renie, tell me how much you want me.”
“You know I do Billy. I want you so much.”
“Only me Renie. Tell me I’m the one you want.”
“Only you.”
“Say my name.”
“Billy…”
“Who do you love?”
“I love you Billy,” she cried out.
“I love you Renie,” he answered.
He laid her on the bed, and she watched as he took off his clothes, in too much of a hurry before. He stretched out next to her and turned her face toward him, looking her in the eye.
“Renie?” he said softly, gently.
“Yeah Billy?”
“I didn’t use a condom.”
“It’s okay. We’re okay.”
“How are we okay?”
“I’m on the pill Billy. I have been for a while.”
Chapter 16
They made love again, and again. Billy was frantic in his need for her. She put her hand on his chest, over his heart, and he moved over her again, pushing her legs apart with his.
“Billy, stop. We have to get back to the house.”
“Don’t wanna. I need you, just you, just us.”
She pushed against his chest with both his hands. “Billy, stop.”
He did, and looked into her eyes. “I can’t lose you,” he said.
She moved her hands to his face. “You won’t.”
“Do you swear that to me? That there’s no one else. Is that something you can swear to Renie?”
She sat up and moved so she was next to him, instead of under him.
“Did you hear me? Did you hear what I asked you?”
“I’m here with you Billy. I wouldn’t be if there were someone else.”
The look on her face made his heart stop. He’d gotten carried away in his need for her, his need for her reassurance. He’d never felt this way before. He’d never cared about anyone enough to need reassurance from them. He hated this feeling.
“Come on,” she said. “Let’s take a quick shower before we have to leave.” She smiled at him and pulled him to the bathroom with her.
“Yeah? You gonna let me get you clean Renie?”
“Yes I am, right after you get me dirty again,” she smiled.
They were a little late to dinner, but Ben and Liv didn’t seem to notice. Luke greeted them at the front door and threw his arms around Renie’s waist.
“What’s going on Luke? It’s hasn’t been that long since you’ve seen me.”
“I know, but I missed you,” he answered, glaring at Billy when he did.
“You remember Billy don’t you Luke?”
“Yeah, hi,” he said, not making eye contact with Billy.
Billy reached out his hand to shake Luke’s hand, and Luke turned his back on him. Renie grabbed his shoulder. “Luke, that wasn’t very polite.”
Luke turned back around and shook Billy’s hand. “Hi,” he said again, but still no eye contact.
Jake stood off to the side, but approached Billy when he heard Renie admonish Luke.
“Hi Billy,” he said, and made the first move to shake his hand.
“Hey Jake—wow, that’s quite a grip you’ve got there buddy.” Billy pulled his hand out of Jake’s grasp.
“Dinner’s ready,” Liv shouted from the kitchen. “Boys go wash your hands.” She looked at Renie and Billy. “You two can sit down, almost everything is on the table. Ben will bring in the rest.”
“I take it I’m on the Rice boys’ shit list,” Billy whispered to Renie.
It took Renie a minute to realize he was talking about Jake and Luke.
“What was that puzzled look on your face all about? Who’d you think I was talking about?”
She had no intention of talking about Jace
Rice. But at first, that was whom she thought he meant.
Renie’s prediction had been correct about how Ben’s two sons would react to news that soon they would have a little brother or sister. Both of them were overjoyed, and Luke had a million questions. He told them he thought Liv was too old to have more babies, just as his own mother told him she was.
“Never at a loss for inappropriate commentary, are ya pard’ner?” Ben said.
Liv laughed and kissed the top of Luke’s head. He was being honest; there wasn’t anything wrong with that, she commented.
Billy was distracted throughout dinner, and nobody missed it.
“What’s going on with you two?” her mother asked when she and Renie were cleaning up the kitchen.
“He’s bringing Willow here, for Thanksgiving.”
“He is?”
“I’m sorry Mom. I should have asked first.”
“Don’t be silly, you don’t need to ask. In fact, Ginny and I were talking about Thanksgiving a few days ago. Ben and I will be happy to host it here. I’ll invite Dottie and Bill. They usually host a big dinner for the ranch hands, so I’m not sure they’ll be able to make it, but it surely would be wonderful if they could.”
Liv said she planned to invite Paige and Mark too, and asked Renie how she felt about inviting Blythe.
“Are the two of you speaking yet?”
“Why wouldn’t we be?”
Renie hadn’t thought about Blythe at all. Which made her a terrible friend, but they’d gone weeks without talking before, how was this different?
“She’s hurt and confused that you never told her you were interested in Billy. She feels bad about asking you to fix her up with him.”
“Oh,” Renie answered. “I hadn’t thought about that.”
There was so much she hadn’t thought about in the last eight months, much of which involved other people’s feelings. How many other people had she inadvertently hurt?
“I’ll call her tomorrow. I feel awful about it. It hadn’t occurred to me that Blythe would be upset.”
“You’ve been living in your own little world the past few months, and I suppose you’ve been entitled to it.” Liv sighed. “We’re used to you being the strong one in our little patchwork family. It’s been difficult for us to get used to how different you’ve been.”
“I’m sorry Mom.”
“Don’t be. What I’m saying is that we need to cut you some slack and let you show your emotions, in the same way the rest of us do.
“Speaking of Thanksgiving, did you see the postcard that came from Jace?” her mother whispered.
“No, I didn’t. Where is it?”
Liv pointed at the stack of mail on the kitchen counter. “You might want to look at it later, when Billy isn’t around.”
“By the way, he’s not going back right away.”
“He’s not?”
Billy joined them in the kitchen. “What are you two talking about in here?”
“Thanksgiving. My mom is asking your mom and dad to join us. Paige and Mark too.”
He wrapped his arm around Renie’s waist and rested his chin on her shoulder. “We’ll all be back together again.”
“We’ll do it here. Maybe your folks can get someone else to host Thanksgiving back at your place this year. They’ve been doing it every year for as long as I can remember.”
“They’ll figure it out. They’ll want to be here.”
Liv picked up the landline to call Dottie. She was anxious to get the plans in the works since Thanksgiving wasn’t that far off.
“You ready to leave?” Renie asked him.
“Whenever you are. No rush.”
“Why don’t we challenge the boys to a game of foosball, and let them win. Maybe they won’t be…”
“As mad at me?”
Renie laughed. “Yeah, that’s what I was thinking.”
“It’s sweet how they are so protective of you.”
“I’ve been wretched to be around these last eight months Billy. They haven’t shy about telling me so.”
She’d been wretched? Hearing so made him happy. If she was miserable, it had to have been because she missed him as much as he missed her. If it hadn’t been for Willow keeping him distracted, he would’ve been wretched too. In fact, he had been. He hadn’t seen many people while they were apart, so there wasn’t anybody to call him out on it.
“Not sure how I’ll be able to stand being away from you again.”
“I can’t come to Monument Billy. I’ve committed to working at the Goat for the season, and we’re getting busy already.” It was an excuse, she could take time off if she needed to, but it would cause a hardship for the rest of the staff, so she wasn’t being completely dishonest about it.
Billy knew it too. But, he didn’t say anything and Renie was glad he didn’t.
“What should we do tomorrow?” he asked her.
“I have to work tomorrow night, but during the day we can do whatever you’d like to do.”
“Hmm,” he said, pulling her closer. “I can come up with a couple ideas to keep us busy.”
“I’d like to ride Pooh again. I missed her so much.”
“How come you didn’t—”
“I couldn’t.”
“What?”
“As long as she was with you I knew I’d have to talk to you again someday.”
“I felt the same way.”
“Why did you bring her here?”
It had been a really hard decision, he told her. He had hoped things would work out as they had, although he never dreamed they would work out this well.
“If you refused to talk to me, maybe I would’ve trailered her back to Monument.”
***
Two days later Billy started thinking about going home. They agreed to talk to each other on Facetime, and Billy showed her how to use it on her phone.
“As long as we both have a cell signal, we can see each other whenever we want to,” he told her. “Maybe you could talk to Willow on it too.”
“We’ll see.”
Renie was shutting down again, he could sense it. The last few days had been heavenly. They’d spent every moment together. He’d even gone and hung out at the Goat while she worked. Until the last couple of minutes, it seemed like old times.
“Not today,” he said.
“What?”
“I’m not going back today.”
“Wait. Why not?”
“Because you still need me here.”
“You can’t stay here forever Billy.”
“Willow is in good hands, happy as can be, and you’re not. So I’m not leaving yet.”
“It’s okay—”
“No, it isn’t okay. I’m not leaving until I know, in my heart, you won’t shut me out of your life again.”
She wanted to tell him he was wrong, that she’d be fine if he went home. But he was right. As soon as he said he was thinking about leaving, she started to freak out about how hard it would be for them to be apart again. She did need him with her, and although she knew he had to get back to Monument, back to Willow, she was thankful she’d have another day or two with him.
“What about after Thanksgiving?”
“After? You mean Christmas?”
“No, in general.”
“I don’t know Renie. We have to wait and see how things go. We’ll keep talking, that’s the important thing. Keep talking, keep communicating, and keep making sure we’re on the same page.”
He sounded so…adult. He had changed in the last few months, more than she had. He’d grown up. But, he hadn’t left her behind. Maybe that was one of the things she’d been worried about. Billy was so much older than she was. What if he woke up one day and realized she was still a kid? She felt like one, whether he saw her that way or not.
She quit college, gave up her dream of being a vet. She worked as a wrangler at a dude ranch for the summer, and now she was waitressing in a bar. Even to herself she sounded like a kid who
didn’t know what she would do with the rest of her life. How could she expect anyone else to view her differently?
***
Dottie arranged for a local catering company to provide Thanksgiving dinner for the hands at Patterson Ranch. This was the first time since she married Bill that they wouldn’t be home for Thanksgiving. She didn’t mind though. It was getting to be a lot of work, and this was their first Thanksgiving with Willow. The baby girl wouldn’t know the difference, but for Billy, and for Renie, and their two families, this was a step in the right direction.
“How do they seem?”
“Since we rarely see them, I’d say they seem to be doing well,” Liv laughed. “It’s taken me a little while to get used to it, but I have. When they’re here, they seem happy.”
“It’s when Billy comes home that it gets tricky.”
“You are dead-on right about that. I’m surprised he’s still here to be honest with you. I didn’t expect him to stay this long.”
“He didn’t expect to either, but when he called this morning he said Renie wasn’t ready for him to leave yet, so he had to stay.”
“That doesn’t sound like Renie.”
“It isn’t her. It’s him. He knows her well enough to be able to gauge what she needs better than she can herself.”
Dottie encouraged Billy to trust his instincts. Willow was fine; in fact, she and Bill were enjoying every minute with their granddaughter. They were in no hurry for Billy to get back. And Willow didn’t know the difference. She’d be happy to see her daddy, but she’d settled in at their house without a hiccup.
“I’m sure he misses Willow though.”
“He does, but he went a long time missin’ Renie too.”
“I’m so happy you’ll be here for Thanksgiving. I’ve invited Paige and Mark too, and Blythe is coming with them.”
“You’re gonna have a crowd sugar. How early do you want me to get there to help you?”
“Would tomorrow be too soon?” Liv was joking, but she missed Dottie and Bill so much. She couldn’t wait to have them here.
And Then You Dance Page 17