“Bree.”
I looked up at the sound of my name. I stopped dead when I saw Wesley standing only a few feet away from me.
“I told you I wanted to be left alone,” I said.
“I left you alone for an hour. That was all I could handle.”
“Wes, I don’t want to see you right now. Just leave me alone, please.”
“I can’t,” Wesley said softly. He moved until he was standing in front of me. “Bree, you are the most important person in my life. I hope you realize that.”
“Then, why are you leaving me?” I demanded.
He closed his eyes, probably trying to find patience. When he opened them, they were full of anger and regret. “If I stay with you, we will both die.”
“Then, why did you ask me to wait for you?” I asked. That had been bothering me, too.
He looked away for a moment. “Because I’m a fool, and I want things I can’t have. It doesn’t matter anyway. I see the way you look at Reid, Bree. You’ve known me for eighteen years, and you’ve never once looked at me that way.”
It was the truth, and both of us knew it. I didn’t try to deny it. No matter how badly I wanted Wesley to stay with me, I wouldn’t lie about loving him to keep him with me. I had no idea what would come of Reid and me after everything, but that didn’t matter. If I ended up with neither of them, it would only be fair.
“I don’t want you to leave me,” I whispered. “We’ve been together our entire lives. If you go back, we’ll never see each other again.”
“I’ll find a way to stay in touch with you, Bree. I promise.”
“I can’t lose you,” I said as tears filled my eyes.
Wesley pulled me against him. I hid my face in his shirt as my tears streamed down my cheeks.
“No matter what it takes, I’ll always be here for you, Bree. I’ll find a way. Just because we’re apart doesn’t mean that we don’t have each other.”
I shook my head. “No, I’m losing you. Things will never be the same after this.”
I felt him sigh, but he didn’t respond.
After a few minutes, I finally pulled away. “You’ll really be okay when you go back?”
He nodded. “I’ll be fine. I-I belong in that life. I’m good at it.”
“It doesn’t…kill you inside to live that way?”
He shook his head. “I stopped feeling a long time ago, Bree.”
“I wish I could do that. Every single face still haunts me, Wes. Every single one.”
“You weren’t meant for that life. Your father knew it, but he still tried to push you into it. That was his fatal mistake.” He pulled me to him again and tightly hugged me. “Let’s go back to the hotel and figure everything else out, okay?”
I nodded, but I didn’t speak as he pulled me along the sidewalk. When we made it back to the hotel room, Reid was sitting on the bed, watching TV. He looked up and quickly turned the TV off when he saw us.
“I see you found her,” he said, breaking the silence.
Wesley nodded. “I did, and we’ve worked things out.”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” I grumbled.
Wesley sighed. “I’m going back. There’s nothing you can say to change my mind. Once I return, I’ll tell them that you killed your father and tried to kill me. I was forced to kill you instead of bringing you back. That’ll piss off the Irish, but it doesn’t matter. We’ll deal with them.”
“They’re going to want proof,” I pointed out.
“I took pictures of your father,” Wesley said without remorse. “I’ll explain that I burned the cabin to the ground. They’ll believe me. I’ve never given them a reason not to.”
“Everyone knows we’re close,” I said.
“Everyone knows you trust me. They also know I’m dedicated to the organization. I’ve never let on how much you mean to me in front of the others. When they were around, I treated you as my partner. Even your father was unaware of how much I cared for you. His lack of emotion was something I used against him. How could he know how much I cared for you when he was incapable of love?”
The room filled with silence. I didn’t know how to respond to that. All these years, I’d worn my heart on my sleeve when it came to Wesley, never once realizing how he’d portrayed our relationship to others.
“Where does that leave me? And Bree, of course,” Reid asked.
“You’re free as far as I’m concerned. We didn’t bother to mention you because we knew you weren’t a threat. You can return to your home and continue living your life.”
“And me?” I asked, afraid to hear Wesley’s answer.
“As a precaution, I’m going to create a new identity for you—again. I’ll have everything sent over to you. This time, you’ll really be able to start over.”
It couldn’t be that simple. Nothing was ever simple for me.
“This is too easy,” I finally said.
“Nothing about this is easy. If I slip up, even once, you’re both dead. I hope you realize that.”
“You won’t.” I looked over at Reid, but he was looking at Wesley.
“Bree trusted you with our lives, and you came through. I trust you.”
Wesley nodded. “Good. I hope that you will watch out for Bree until I can get the paperwork ready for her. I’ll make the call tonight. You should have everything within a day or two.”
“And then?” I asked. “Once I have a new name, then what?”
“That is your decision, Bree, but choose wisely. You only live once, and it’s up to you to make the best of it.”
I shook my head. “Maybe you should follow your own advice.”
He opened his mouth, but Reid cut him off. “What about my car and my job? We left my car parked outside of a motel. And I’ve been gone for days. I’m probably fired.”
“Report your car as stolen. Eventually, someone will notice it. As for your job, there’s nothing I can do to help you there. You’ll have to figure out what to tell them, but remember, you can never tell the truth. It’s not like they’d believe you anyway.”
“If they saw my leg, they might,” Reid grumbled.
“I’ll take you both back to your apartment tomorrow morning. Then, I’ll leave for London,” Wesley said. After a moment of silence, he spoke again, “Try to get some sleep, both of you. I’ll watch over all of us tonight.”
He turned and walked toward the door. I watched in silence as he opened it. Without looking back, he stepped into the hallway and closed the door. The moment he was gone, I missed him.
Wesley was being ripped from my life again, and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it.
I had the same hollow feeling when we arrived back at Reid’s apartment as I had when we reached Amarillo the day before. When Wesley left, I knew I would probably never see him face-to-face again. I didn’t even know if I’d ever speak to him again. That broke my heart. Everything had happened so fast the first time that I didn’t have time to think about the fact that I was leaving him behind.
This time, I’d had more than enough time to come to that realization. It killed me inside to know that I was losing him. My entire life, he was my everything. He was my best friend. He was the only thing that had allowed me to keep my sanity.
Wesley didn’t shut off his SUV when he pulled up in front of our building. He simply put it in park and waited for Reid to climb out.
“I’ll grab the bags, Bree,” Reid said, knowing that I needed time to say my good-byes to Wesley.
“Thank you.”
“I’d like to say it was nice meeting you, Wesley, but I can’t. Sorry. Thanks for saving my life though. Kudos for that,” Reid said before climbing out of the SUV.
Wesley chuckled as he popped the back hatch for Reid. “You know, I think I might miss him when I’m gone. Bastard grew on me.”
I stayed silent. The moment I opened my mouth to speak, I would start crying. I couldn’t stand the thought of that. Maybe if I sat in the car long enough, Wesley would deci
de to stay with me. I knew better, but I couldn’t stop myself from hoping.
Once Reid grabbed our things and headed inside, Wesley turned to me. He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and placed it in my hand.
I looked down at it. “What’s this?”
“An email address and password. I set it up for you so that we could talk from time to time. As soon as I can, I’ll send an email out to you. I didn’t give you mine yet because I want to see how things are at home before I try to contact you.”
I sniffled. “This is it then, isn’t it? Eighteen years together, and we’ve been reduced to emails. Jesus.”
“Hey, look at me.” Wesley cupped my chin and turned my face toward his. “You’ll always have me, Bree. I promise. Things will just be…different from now on. It’s to protect you. You know that.”
“I know,” I said quietly.
He pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me. “I love you, Bree. I always have, and I always will, but it’s time to let go—for both of us. Neither of us will be happy if we continue on this way. Things change, and we have to change right along with them.” He paused. “Plus, Reid is good for you. He’s safe. He’s also a good guy. He’s a little stubborn, but overall, he’s good. He can make you happy if you let him.”
“Is that what you want—for me to be with him?” I asked.
“I want whatever makes you happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
We sat in silence for a while. Wesley never let me go the entire time. Finally, after what felt like seconds or hours, he pulled away.
“It’s time for me to go, Bree. I have a flight to catch.”
“Of course,” I mumbled as I grabbed the door handle.
“Bree…” He trailed off as I looked at him.
“What?” I asked.
“Fuck it,” he mumbled under his breath before grabbing me and pulling me to him again.
His lips found mine, and he deeply kissed me. It didn’t spark the same emotions in me as kissing Reid, but it made me feel nonetheless. I felt every ounce of regret, every happy moment we’d shared, and every bit of sadness in that kiss.
When he finally broke away, he whispered, “I love you, Bree.”
“I love you, too. I always will,” I said.
I opened my door and climbed out. I didn’t dare look back as I walked toward my building. I knew if I did, I would run back to him and beg for him to stay with me. He wouldn’t. I knew that, but my heart would break all over again.
When I walked through the building’s door, I finally turned. Wesley gave me one more smile before pulling away. I knew it would be the last time I ever saw him.
I didn’t speak to Reid for the rest of the afternoon. Instead, I lay on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. After the last few days, I should’ve felt relief to be back in this apartment, safe and sound. Wesley had protected me once again and made sure that I would be safe.
I was safe. I knew that. Wesley had never failed me before, and I knew he wouldn’t fail me now. I wasn’t relieved though. I was restless. I felt as if the walls were closing in on me from all sides. I felt trapped. In a way, I was. I could never go back to Wesley. No matter how much I would miss certain aspects of my old life, I could never visit my home again.
To that world, I was dead. I was nothing. My existence had barely been a blip on their radar. Eighteen years, I’d been surrounded by people who were probably glad I was now dead.
I shook my head. It would do no good to think like that. The past was in the past. As Wesley had said, things were constantly changing, and we had to change as well.
I tried to keep that in mind as I willed myself to get off of my bed and walk into the living room where I could hear Reid talking on the phone. He’d been on it nonstop since we came back. First, he’d called his job and begged for them to let him come back. Luckily for him, he always drew quite a crowd, so they’d agreed—barely. He’d called his friends next to let him know he was alive. I had no idea what he’d told them about where we’d disappeared to, but I knew he’d think of something convincing.
He was currently on the phone with the police, reporting his car as stolen.
I chuckled as I tried to listen in. Poor Reid. I’d really fucked things up for him.
With that thought, I decided staying in my room was a better option than going out and facing him. I closed my eyes and willed myself to fall asleep. It took forever, but I finally passed out.
I awoke to the sound of Reid calling my name. I slowly opened my eyes, trying to pull myself away from the dreams that had plagued me since I fell asleep. They’d been nightmares more than dreams, and I shivered as I remembered them.
I sat up when I saw Reid standing in my doorway.
“What’s wrong?” I mumbled.
“Someone is here to see you,” Reid said, “I don’t recognize him, but since it’s past two in the morning and he’s here, I figured it was important.”
That woke me right up. I stood quickly and grabbed my gun from my nightstand drawer. “Where is he?”
“In the living room. I don’t think he wants to hurt you. He could’ve blown my head off the moment I opened the door,” Reid said as he eyed my gun warily.
“Better safe than sorry,” I mumbled.
I walked past him and down the hall. When I stepped into the living room, I stopped. A man in his early thirties sat on our couch. He looked up and smiled when he saw me.
“Hello, Bree.”
“Do I know you?” I asked as I raised my gun and pointed it at him.
“No, but your friend Wesley does,” he said calmly.
“What do you want?”
“I have a package for you. Wesley said you knew it would be delivered to you.”
I slowly lowered my gun as I stepped closer to him. “I didn’t expect it to be hand-delivered.”
He stood and held out a manila envelope. “I believe these are yours. Everything he requested is inside. If he needs anything else from me, please let him know I’m always available.”
I raised an eyebrow as he walked to the door. Without a backward glance, he opened it and disappeared into the hallway. Reid quickly walked to the door and locked all the locks. I studied the envelope in my hand. It felt thicker than I’d expected.
I sat down on the couch as I opened it and pulled the contents out. It was like déjà vu. Everything I needed to start over again was inside—a social security card, a driver’s license, a credit card, and to my utter disbelief, a bank account statement. My eyes widened as I stared at the amount of zeros on the page. I had no idea how Wesley had come up with that kind of cash on such short notice. Hell, I had been shocked when he’d sent me off with ten thousand dollars. That looked like chump change compared to this bank account.
Reid whistled as he looked over my shoulder. “I didn’t know murder paid so well.”
“Neither did I,” I mumbled.
“Does it have everything you need?” he asked.
“Yeah, it’s all here. I can start over—again.”
“You’re really free this time though. He made sure of it,” Reid said as he walked around the couch and sat down next to me.
“I suppose I am. It doesn’t feel like how I thought it would though.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. I suppose I’m just confused right now. I gained my freedom, but I lost Wesley because of it. I had to watch my father die in front of me. I hated him, but he was still my father. I almost got you killed—twice. That’s a lot of sacrifice for my freedom.”
Reid shrugged as if it were no big deal. “Before all of this, I would’ve agreed with you. No, I would’ve run as far away from you as I possibly could if I had known what was to come. But you know what? I’m glad that things happened the way they did.”
I looked at him like he’d lost his mind.
“Just hear me out before you give me that look. A month ago, I didn’t have a care in the world. I wasn’t afraid. I lived in my li
ttle bubble of normalcy. I didn’t know what it was like to wonder if today might be my last day alive.”
“And I took that from you,” I said sadly.
“No, you made me realize that I was wasting every fucking moment by just wandering through life without really living in it. Sure, I went out and had fun with my friends. I enjoyed spending time with you. Hell, I even liked working at the club. But I didn’t appreciate any of it. I took it for granted. Every second of our lives is important, Bree. We need to live them like we’re dying. Every breath we take, every step we make—they should matter. Instead of coasting through life like most people, I’m going to actually live. I’m going to revel in the simple joys of life because there are so many who can’t.”
I was surprised by his speech. Reid was a lot of things, but deep wasn’t a word I would have used to describe him. This side of him was something new, something I’d never seen before.
“When I saw your father’s eyes in that cabin, I knew what true evil was. Until that moment, I’d blamed you and even hated you a bit. I thought you were evil because of the things you’d done and what you had dragged me into. That was stupid. The woman who knocked on my door was the exact same woman who is sitting next to me now. Your past shapes you, but it doesn’t define you. I realize that now. I also realize that I want you more than anything else in this world. I can’t imagine being without you after all of that. You are the kindest person I’ve ever met, and that shines through. Even when you were forced back into the life that you hated, you were still kind. I love you, Bree. I really fucking do.”
I stared at him, speechless. Apart from Wesley, no one had ever said those words to me before. I knew that Reid cared about me, but love was something else entirely.
“I don’t know what to say,” I whispered.
“Say that you’ll stay with me. Tell me that we’ll figure things out together. I’ve decided that I’m going to take your advice and talk to someone about my nightmares. I want to know that you’ll be there with me every step of the way.” He paused for a moment. “I want to wake up with you next to me every day. I want to laugh at you when you get angry and your accent is even stronger. I want to watch you try to cook even though you have no idea what you’re doing. I want to know that you’ll grow to love me as much as I love you one day.”
The Consequences of Sin Page 20