Shawna was lying on the bed semiconscious. It was hot out that night and Shawna was wearing a short little sundress; her legs were spread apart and her breasts were almost peeking out the sides of the dress. The room was felt hotter even though the fan was in the window.
Keisha looked at Shawna and couldn’t help herself; she gently tested the waters. She called Shawna’s name in a whisper. Shawna didn’t move. Keisha touched her leg gently. She still didn’t move. Slowly she moved her fingers up her inner thigh. Her legs opened wider as if Shawna was inviting her to play.
Keisha wanted to play; she wanted to tell her the truth. Her life was slowly changing; she was meeting new people and evolving into her own skin. Shawna would never admit it, but when they were younger they used to practice kissing on each other all the time. They kept their secret hidden from LaRhonda and as they got older Shawna buried it in her memory, denying it ever happened.
Keisha pulled her hand away.
“I know you want to . . .” Shawna mumbled in a state of mind that was not her own.
Keisha didn’t want it this way, but decided she probably would never get another chance like this again. She moved closer to the head of the bed. Bending her head to Shawna’s face Keisha placed her lips on hers. Suddenly, she felt Shawna’s tongue in her mouth. Keisha’s heart pumped with passion as she complied with Shawna’s invite.
“Go lock the door . . .” Shawna whispered.
Keisha’s mind was in a bliss state; hearing those words only implied she wasn’t that drunk. She knew what was going on. Oh, yes . . . this gonna be good. I can finally be myself. Come clean. Let her know how she really makes me feel.
“Oh yes, papi . . . lick it . . .” Shawna moaned, pushing Keisha’s hand toward her hot spot.
Keisha stopped momentarily then whispered, “You want me to play yo’ daddy?”
“Yes . . . touch me there, papi.”
That night Shawna’s secret became bigger.
2
Shawna
One year later . . .
“Mami, where is my bag?”
“Aquíes mi hija,” Shawna’s mom replied.
“Ma, you know you have to practice your English if you want that citizenship. So, start talking in English.” Shawna was proud that her mom was finally becoming a true American.
“Oh, okay. Umm . . . Keisha, umm called you today.”
“Oh yeah, and what she had to say?” Shawna asked, annoyed at the mention of her name.
“Why you act like this? She your best friend, no?”
“Bye, Mami, I have to go to work.” Shawna kissed her mom on the cheek and walked through the front door. She took the stairs to work out her infuriated mind that Keisha was still pressing her about something that she couldn’t even remember. We been friends way too long for her to be askin’ me that shit.
Shawna quickly exited the building, placing her headphones over her ears so she wouldn’t hear anyone trying to get her attention. In a short walk she reached the 3 train, thankful that her train was approaching the station. It was still the morning rush and seats were slim to none, so she stood by the door, nodding to the beat of Jay-Z’s Blueprint album.
It only took forty minutes to reach Penn Station. Shawna peeked at her watch. Nine-thirty; damn, I’m late. Rapidly moving through the crowd, she bumped people out her way with only thing on her mind—her meeting started ten minutes ago. She felt her phone vibrate; glancing at the screen she saw Keisha’s name. That bitch got nerve. I’ma have to see her ass sooner or later.
Rushing past the security guard at the lobby desk with only a wave, she jumped into the elevator and pressed the button for the fifth floor. Finally, the elevator chimed, alerting her floor. Shawna stepped out and pushed through the glass doors.
“You’re late, girl. Mr. Shore here, too,” the receptionist said.
“Yeah, I know,” Shawna replied, rolling her eyes. She hated how the receptionist always wanted to act like she was actually working instead of trying to give her pussy away to every artist who walked through the door.
It’d been close to six months since her internship became much more at Lifers Music, and she was already feeling the shade of the industry women. They were always trying to either cut her throat or step on her toes. Shawna was the ultimate package: young, beautiful, smart, and willing to work hard for what she wanted. Her once-tiny frame matured into a sexy Latin bombshell measuring nearly five foot nine. Shawna’s light brown eyes and long, bouncy reddish hair was envied by most; she was all natural. She silently laughed every time someone walked in with a new weave or extensions when all she had to do was wash and set hers.
The office of Lifers Music was in the midst of it all: Midtown Manhattan, better known as Times Square. She had done her research and making her first connections in New York would definitely lead her to bigger and better things. At first landing the internship was just something to do after school to stay away from temptation by her surroundings. But then it became exciting and the music blew her mind: the latest in hip hop before it even hit the shelves.
Lifers Music was a well-known record label in the music industry when she graduated high school and she immediately enrolled herself at LIU. Applying for an internship at Lifers Music was a joke at first, but when she actually got the call, it became an eye opener to something refreshing and new. After some months her sweet, bubbly personality was well liked. Her knowledge and quick ability to think on her feet led to a permanent position, allowing her to grow within the company.
Shawna rushed passed the conference room and noticed that it was empty. Hmm, that’s strange. I thought there was a meeting. She rushed to her desk, tucked her purse into a drawer, and checked her Outlook calendar on the computer screen. Confused as to why the conference room was empty she headed back to the reception area. With a smile, she asked Emma, “Did the meeting get cancelled?”
Not wanting to answer her question, Emma pretended she didn’t hear her question.
Annoyed at her constant hate Shawna looked around to make sure no one was in view, because her Brooklyn roots were about to show. Shawna slammed her fist against the counter, causing Emma to jump in her chair.
“What the hell?”
“I asked you a fuckin’ question, bitch. Are you gonna answer or do you want me to make yo’ ass answer?” Shawna couldn’t hold her tongue.
“Who do you think you are? You ain’t nothin’ but a fuckin’ errand girl who now gets paid.” Emma tried to chop Shawna’s ego down.
“No, you must’ve forgotten who I fuckin’ run those errands for.” Shawna smiled after catching the reflection of someone getting off the elevator and heading toward the office entrance.
Before Emma could even counter her smart ass she was interrupted by a six foot two, fair-skinned young man with bulging biceps and light-colored eyes. All the hate she had deflated at the site of him.
Shawna rolled her eyes at Emma and wanted to knock her in her head. But instead she beat her at her own game. “Hello, how can I help you?” Shawna flashed her smile.
“Oh, I’m here to see Shore. I had an appointment for nine-thirty, but I got caught up at the airport. I’m with Rich Mafia.”
“Okay, why don’t you follow me? I can take you to his office.” Shawna gestured for him to walk down the hall as she handled Emma quickly. “Now, Emma, I have nothing against you, but if you continue to rub me the wrong way I may have a little birdie whisper in someone’s ear about what you do with many of our clients. Executives don’t like shit they don’t know about. Now do what you were hired for: buzz Mr. Shore and let him know his nine-thirty is heading his way.” Shawna hurried down the hall to catch up to the handsome young man.
He couldn’t help but to smile at Shawna as she showed him to Shore’s office. She one hella fine. I wonder if I can get her number. He peeped at her round, plump ass as she stood knocking on Shore’s closed office door.
Shawna expected Shore to be in his office; she was wrong, no one answere
d the knock and the door was locked. Feeling a bit embarrassed she quickly said, “Oh that’s right. I’m sorry, I just remembered he wanted you to wait for him in the conference room. Please follow me.” She led him to the conference room to wait and offered something to drink. Her face showed smiles on the outside as she left the room, but her insides boiled over approaching Emma. “What the fuck is goin’ on?”
“Excuse me? I’m just the receptionist, remember?” Emma asked, continuing with her attitude.
“There you go again. I asked a question. I know what you do.”
At that moment the office doors opened with Mr. Shore rushing in. “Good morning, ladies,” he said upon entering. He stood at the reception counter when he saw the back of someone’s head sitting in the conference room. “Can someone tell me who is in the conference room and why I wasn’t called?”
“Well, sir, that’s Rich Mafia. I couldn’t call you because Shawna here hurried him to your office. If she would have been here on time I could have filled her in on your schedule change this morning.” Emma smiled, handing over a few pink slips with messages written on them.
Shore already knew the rules of the office politics between original staffers and any newly hired staff—stay out of it and let them handle their own shit. “Okay, is anyone else here yet?”
“Umm no, everyone is at the Regis Hotel having breakfast with the radio executives about airplay for our clients,” Emma answered.
“Everybody?” Shore asked, confused as to why all of the executive staff were at a breakfast meeting.
“Not everybody. Chris and Jena are sick. All the interns are here,” she said with a smile.
“Shawna, I will need you in there with me. Go ahead, I will be in shortly.” Shore headed to his office to retrieve paperwork off his desk.
Shawna wasn’t surprised by Emma’s quick reference to her lateness in front of their boss, but she knew just what to do about that. She got real close to Emma behind her desk and lowered her head so their guest couldn’t see anything. “Do you really think that bothers me? Do you actually think he cares that I was late? Unlike you I have potential here and you should think about why you still sittin’ behind this desk for the past two years. Stupid bitch . . .” Shawna walked into the conference room and waited for Shore to enter.
Three hours of back and forth, phone calls to lawyers, and Shawna’s adoring smile and personality got them an exclusive deal potentially making the label millions of dollars in the near future. With over a million hits on WorldStar and buzz about their movement it was a sure hit for the label.
Shawna was all smiles as she walked their new client to the reception area. “It was my pleasure meeting you and I will definitely make sure copies are sent to your lawyer by this afternoon. You have my number so please, if there’s anything I can assist you with, I’m just a phone call away. Oh, again, congrats on the baby news. That’s wonderful.” Shawna waved good-bye as her excitement overwhelmed her. “Oh yeah, oh yeah . . .” Shawna was too inebriated by what just happen to even notice Mr. Shore standing behind her.
“Umm Shawna, can I see you in my office please?” Mr. Shore had a smirk on his face, but it didn’t stop Shawna’s face from turning plum red. He headed back to his office, giving her a minute to calm herself.
Shawna only hoped that her embarrassment didn’t cause any doubt in Shore’s mind about her capabilities as a professional. Gathering herself she headed for Mr. Shore’s office. Lightly knocking on the office door, scared that her little happy dance was unacceptable to him, she entered, inhaling a deep breath. “Mr. Shore, umm—”
“Please, Shawna, there’s no need to be embarrassed. Shit, I was doing the happy dance myself; it was just in my head. That deal just could bring you a promotion and sizeable bump in salary. But there’s some things I want to talk to you about before we move too fast. After all, I have to be sure you can handle this life,” Shore said, sitting behind his desk.
Shore’s words made Shawna stand still for the moment; she didn’t know what to expect. Her stomach was in knots as she slowly took a seat in the single chair in front of his desk. The dream of being something big flashed before her. Don’t tell me I just fuckin’ ruined everything ’cause of my showin’ off in front of that bitch! Fuck, how could I let her get under me like that! She held the urge to just get up and walk out with the look of shame all over her face.
“First, you were just about perfect in there. I wasn’t fully confident that you had it in you, but you definitely showed that assisting Carolyn you learned some things and showed it in your own way. Listen, in order for me to do what I want to do, there are some changes that will have to be made by you.” His tone was harsh.
Shawna has heard about these kinds of meetings through the grapevine, but never thought she gave off that energy to even suggest that approaching her would be a sure thing. She definitely wasn’t desperate and sure as hell wasn’t going to let this motherfucker think she was. “Changes,” she said, hinting her building animosity. Her eyes squinted a bit, pulling her head back. Is he tryin’a do what I think he doin’? Oh, no!
“What I mean by changes in your life . . . Well, let me put it this way . . . I know you’re young, still living with yo’ mama, and hanging with yo’ old buddies from the hood, which will definitely hold you back. And let’s be honest, it really isn’t a good look for you if you want to explore your potential,” he said with as much sensitivity as he could.
Confused by his soft tone and straightforward words she questioned him slowly. “How do you know I still live with my mama? And how the hell do you know who I hang out with? When I took this job you didn’t mention the twenty-four-hour surveillance you apparently got on me. Mr. Shore, I don’t mean any disrespect, but I don’t think I like the way this conversation is going.” Shawna stood up with clenched fists, ready to swing if he tried anything.
“Shawna”—Shore chuckled at her underlying suggestion before continuing—“I ain’t tryin’a get in yo’ panties like most the executives in this industry. When I see young talent . . . And not the kind of talent young Ms. Emma got out there either.” He smiled at her, hoping the crack about Emma would put them on the same page.
When Shawna saw his smile dismissing her uneasiness she felt relieved. After she put away her ghetto attitude she felt a bit silly. His posture never indicated that he was going to force himself on her; she just expected it. She realized that if she really wanted to make it in this business she had to listen to those willing to give her advice. Inhaling a deep breath, she took a seat. “I’m sorry, Mr. Shore. I just heard about these situations and expected something else.”
“First change: call me Shore like everyone else around here. Now I know you might think this may be all too soon, but right now I see what you do. Honestly, from what I see, I think Carolyn is basically making sure all her I’s are dotted and T’s are crossed by you.”
“M . . .” She paused for a few seconds, then continued, “Shore, I can’t throw anyone under the bus. Carolyn is great. She took me under her wing and taught me more than what my internship really required of me. I can’t say anything bad about her.” Shawna wondered where this was leading. If this man tells me I will be taking Carolyn’s job, she could make my life a nightmare in this industry. Oh fuck, what the hell have I got into?
“You see, that loyalty is what I need to have more of. What if I tell you I’m willing to invest in you and create a new division for you to run?” He raised his eyebrows as he stood and walked over to his small bar, wanting his question to marinate.
Shawna was shocked at his proposal. Exciting thoughts entered Shawna’s mind, almost putting her into a trance. Is this nigga serious? In charge of my own shit? There’s gotta be some kinda catch.
“Umm, did you hear what I just offered you? Shawna, you know this is legitimate right?” He wanted to make sure that this was strictly business and no couch casting was going on. “I know this is a lot of pressure, but I believe in you and I really think you
r capabilities are far more than being someone’s ‘cross checker.’ I know for sure you can do more than that.” He poured some water into a glass and took a sip.
“This is all crazy. I mean I didn’t expect all this just from a simple contract signing. I did nothing different. I’m gonna be real right now. This offer smells a little suspect and I’m not sure that I can honestly accept it without all the cards on the table. So, let’s move forward six months from now and I”—she paused—“fuck up, what then? Do I lose everything? Or maybe my question to you should be: Can I get a written contract agreeing to terms we both can live with?”
“You see that’s why you’re being promoted. Keep thinking ahead and you will go far. Now, why don’t we get some lunch, and we can discuss this and come to an agreement, and maybe my suggestions won’t come off like they did before.” He walked toward the door then held it open for her.
Walking past the reception area with Shore felt like the slap Emma needed to be hit with. This was like a dream to Shawna. Since becoming an employee she put in a lot of unpaid long hours. Finally, someone acknowledged her hard work. Now she only hoped that this lunch was going to end on a good note. By his previous statements she could already guess some of the changes he was going to hint at.
Shawna didn’t know how to react to his chivalry; opening car doors, regular doors, asking her what she felt like eating. This was new, especially from one of the bigwigs; not even Carolyn took her out for lunch. Skeptical thoughts forced their way through. This could be a fuckin’ game for real. This nigga could be a fuckin’ psycho. Is this really happening?
Shore could see how his actions could be misconstrued. He definitely didn’t want business mixed with pleasure. They both agreed that his choice would be best; after all, Shawna’s most expensive taste was Red Lobster. He decided on a quiet little bistro on the Upper East Side of Manhattan.
On the ride over Shawna didn’t know whether to be insulted as Shore yapped on his phone or if she should be taking notes of what he was saying. This was surprising and still a bit uncomfortable. Shawna’s nerves caused her leg to shake. She didn’t want to say anything to fuck up this opportunity, but her mouth had a mind of its own. Noticing his phone call had ended she quietly said, “Shore, I need you to be straight with me; is this for real?”
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