by Fields, MJ
“She’s very beautiful, but you look just like your daddy.”
“That’s what Nana says.”
“Did I hear my name?” A woman, who was obviously Ryan’s mother because she looked just like him and Callie just older, stepped around the corner. “You must be Sadie. We didn’t get to officially meet that day you saved our Callie . . .”
Our Callie? Her words punctuated something, and I liked that emphasis on the word our. It was as if she knew that I cared about Callie, and I did. Not sure why it was this kid out of all the kids I’d met over the years, but it was.
“I’m Kathryn, Ryan’s mother.”
“Hi, Kathryn. That’s my middle name.”
“It is? I knew that I liked you. And who do we have here?” Callie had removed Wasabi from his carrier and held him up for Kathryn.
“That’s Wasabi.”
“Oh my word, that is a perfect name, and his haircut? How funny. He is adorable.” She took him from Callie, and Wasabi greeted her with a face bath like he did everyone while I moved to unpack his food.
“Why don’t you wash your hands and then we can eat before you give Nana a fashion show?” Ryan walked up to me, wrapped an arm around my waist and led me into his home.
This was another huge difference. I rode my bike, got fast food, and ate. Never once thinking about washing my hands. I was always on the fucking go and never really took germs into consideration like he did.
I willed myself to relax, and by the time we were seated, I was totally at ease.
“So, Sadie, how long have you been a deputy?”
“Eight years, I went right into the academy after high school.”
“And have you always been a motorcycle deputy?”
“No, only five months. I’m still new.” I twisted my neck and slowly took in everything around me as I answered him. “I was a road deputy before this.”
“Did you not like being a road deputy?”
“That’s not it, motors is just different. I like the feel of being on the motorcycle.”
“Believe it or not, I’ve never been on one,” Ryan stated.
“I want to ride a motorcycle,” Callie exclaimed.
“When you’re older,” all three of us said in unison as the cell phone on the counter started to ring. Callie jumped up and ran to answer it.
“That’s my phone.” She grabbed the cell phone and looked at it. “It’s Grammy.” Ryan and Kathryn let out mutual groans. “Hi, Grammy.”
Callie brought her phone over to the table and slid back into her seat.
“I got her a phone to keep in her backpack. It is for emergencies. After that whole debacle, I want to know that she always has a way to call for help or I have a way to call her. We have it set up so that no calls can come in except those listed as her favorites and all notifications are turned off.”
“The school doesn’t mind?” My question wasn’t answered, because my name in Callie’s conversation captured all of our attentions.
“No. Sadie is here. She spent the day with Daddy and me. She helped me pick out new clothes that are Callie clothes. I also got boots that look just like hers. She also got me these really cool sheriff’s T-shirts.” Callie waited a few minutes and then answered. “No, but Wasabi is here, that’s her dog. Yeah, she brought her dog over with her.” Callie waited another second and then answered whatever was asked. “I don’t know.” She pulled the phone away from her mouth. “Daddy, do you kiss Sadie?” She paused to listen again before saying, “Oh, sorry, never mind, Daddy.”
“That’s enough. Tell your grammy that we are eating and she can call you later.” Ryan had obviously reached his breaking point.
“Daddy, Grammy wants to know if she can get me tomorrow morning. They’re going to Animal Kingdom.”
“I hate these games. She tells Callie these things so that I’m the bad guy if I say no,” Ryan whispered to me before taking the phone from Callie. He stood and walked into the other room, but I could still hear him. “Louise, I’m tired of these games. I’ve told you not to ask Callie about stuff like this, you ask me. You write me horrid emails about what a bad parent I am and then you ignore my parental rules. I’m removing you from Callie’s phone, and if you continue to undermine me, there will be no more visitation. I’m tired of the manipulation. Callie can go, but she is to be home by seven because she has school on Monday. All future contact will have to be cleared through me first.” There was a short stretch of silence, which I assumed was Louise yelling at Ryan. “I’m out of line? I’m not the one grilling a six-year-old about someone else’s personal life. Whether or not I kissed someone is none of your business.” I was so uncomfortable sitting there listening to him. “No, it is not. My wife died, remember? I’m single and have been for four years” . . . “No, I haven’t forgotten, I have a beautiful little girl who reminds me every single day. I’m done with this conversation, I need to hang up or my next words will be that she can’t go. So, stop . . . now.”
Callie moved from her chair and disappeared for a second then came back with Wasabi. “Don’t bring him up to the table,” I whispered. She sat on the floor petting him while Ryan continued talking in the other room.
Everything went silent and Kathryn and I stared at each other for several minutes. I needed to go home. Ryan’s family obviously wasn’t ready for him to be dating, and I wasn’t ready to be in the middle of drama.
I tensed as he walked back into the kitchen and sat. “Callie, you can go tomorrow but listen to me.” Callie’s eyes widened and she nodded to let him know he had her full attention. “If you get uncomfortable, if Grammy or Aunt Sonya start asking you a lot of questions about me or Sadie, then just call me, okay?”
“Okay, I promise.” Ryan handed her phone back to her.
“Keep that with you at all times. Now, hop back up and finish eating.”
She glanced to her plate and then her brow furrowed into cute lines. “I’m done, Daddy.”
There was a beat of silence as Ryan clearly debated arguing, his mother debated whether to intervene, and I shifted uncomfortably. It got to be too much, and I ended up cracking.
“That’s a neat phone,” I said, trying to lessen some of the tension.
“Can I have your number, Sadie?”
I glanced to Ryan, who nodded. “Okay, but this is my personal phone so don’t share it. It’s just for you, okay?” Callie nodded. I leaned over and helped her create a new contact and then added my number. “Voila, Sadie Lazar. There you go.”
Callie looked at it. “But it doesn’t show up on my screen.” Callie held out her phone.
Ryan reached for her phone. “We have to move it to your favorites so that it’s an approved number. Daddy will go online and add it on your account, okay?” I gave him a quizzical look. “I have to say, they have phone safety for kids down to a science. Now, if they could just figure out how to stop solicitors, I’d be happy.”
“Word.” I gave him a weary smile because I was still uncomfortable. “Thank you for dinner.” I pushed back my chair and began cleaning up the mess of fried rice and broken fortune cookies no one wanted to eat, and the sticky sauces that had dripped everywhere. “Do you have containers you want me to put these leftovers in?”
“Just toss them, no one will eat them,” Kathryn instructed.
“You’re joking. There are two containers of fried rice that we didn’t even open.”
“I know, but this family has never been a leftovers family.”
“Fine, then if you all don’t care, I’m taking them. I’m single, so it saves me from figuring out what to eat.”
“Absolutely. I’ll put it all in a bag for you and set it in the fridge.” She scooped up as much as she could carry, which was pretty much all of it, and disappeared into the kitchen.
“I’m going to go change into my first outfit, come on, Wasabi.” Callie raced off, picking up a few bags on her way back to her bedroom.
Warm, strong arms wrapped around my waist from behi
nd me. “You ready for this fashion show?”
I turned, and we were almost nose-to-nose. “Why don’t you spend time with Callie and your mom? I can call an Uber.”
“Hell no. I want you here, unless you want to leave, that is.”
“Ryan, look . . .”
“Oh, god.”
“What?”
“You sound like you’re trying to prepare me for bad news.”
“I just think that maybe we’re moving too fast. Obviously, your family isn’t ready to see—”
“My family? From what I see, my family is fine with everything. Or do you mean Callie’s other grandmother, who is absolutely no relation to me and has absolutely no say in my life? You’re going to allow her to dictate how you feel about me?”
“It’s just that . . . you were so upset.”
“I was pissed because she was manipulating Callie. Instead of asking me, she puts me in a position where, if I say Callie can’t go, then I’m the bad guy. I’ve asked her not to do it, but she ignores me. And she was obviously grilling Callie about you and me. I don’t play those games. I’m just pissed, not at you but at the situation. You haven’t met this woman, but she and her daughter are horrid.”
“Umm, well, I have met them.”
“You have? When?”
“They picked Callie up from school one day, and let’s just say they weren’t too happy with the fact that she liked me. Or that, according to them, they paid my salary and I was obviously goofing off with Caroline instead of working.”
“I’m sorry. I need to figure out what to do, but I will. Please stay. I want you here.” Ryan cupped my cheeks and gazed into my eyes. He lowered his lips to mine, and I forgot what it was I wanted to do. Leave? No . . . stay. Yeah, that was it. Stay right here and do this with this man all night.
Sixteen
Sadie
I grabbed squishy—you know, the oldest pillow you have, that is too smooshed to sleep on but perfect to cuddle with—and rolled over, pulling it tight against me. I had no clue what I was doing. Was it just Callie getting close or was I getting close too? I stared at my clock and watched as the numbers flipped to six-twenty. Balling up my fist I hit my mattress, there was no way. I hadn’t slept one bit and it was already morning. There was one person that I knew was always up at this time, even on the weekends. Snagging my phone off my nightstand, I dialed and waited for her to answer.
“Hello sweetheart, you’re up awful early.”
“Hi Margaret.”
“What’s wrong, Sadie? You don’t sound like yourself.”
“I’ve got a lot on my mind.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“No. Yes. I don’t know.”
Margaret let out a chuckle at my words. “That sounds confusing. Okay, how’s your job?”
“Great, I love being on motors.”
“Wonderful. How are the girls? Piper, Harley, Kat, Bridget, all of them are fine?”
“Yes, they are doing great, Kat is hoping to make motors this year.”
“So this has nothing to do with your job or your friends. Is it guy trouble?” Margaret asked and when I didn’t answer her, she put two and two together. “Who is he?”
“Did you ever feel like you were second place?”
“Second place to who?” Margaret’s voice softened.
“In Dad’s heart, because he loved my mom first.”
“No. I love your dad because he loved your mom. If your mom had survived, I believe that your parents would still be happily married. He is that kind of man, he’s good and loyal. Think of it like a book. When you read a book that you love, you believe it is the best book you’ve ever read. But when it’s finished you put it on the shelf. For a while you have a book-hangover. You can’t imagine finding another book that great, so you may stop reading for a while. But eventually a new book will catch your eye. You’ll flip through the pages and before you know it, you’re enthralled. That old book, it’s still on your shelf. You still think about that love story every now and then but eventually, you’ve moved on and found a new book that you love. Sadie?”
“Yes?”
“Why are you asking all of this?”
“Ryan…the guy…he’s a widower.”
“Ohh, I’m sorry for his loss. Has it been a long time?”
“Four years.”
“Sadie, his heart has mended. He’s ready to find love again, he’s ready for a new love story. Are the two of you getting that serious?”
“No, but he has a little girl and that scares me.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m not mother material.”
“Good, because you won’t be her mother, she already has one. Her mother is in heaven, but she does in fact have a mom. You’ll be her stepmom, her friend, you’ll be someone special, and hold a totally different spot in her heart. Stop putting more into this Sadie. If you like the guy, then relax and see where it takes you.”
“Thank you. I love you Margaret.”
“I love you too, sweetie.” Margaret disconnected and I put my phone back on my nightstand. Rolling over, I prayed that now I could get at least a few hours of sleep.
* * *
Ryan: What are you up to?
Me: Not much, catching up on laundry. How’s today? Low stress?
Ryan: What do you think? They picked Callie up, and when I reminded them about drop-off time, she waved her hand in the air, like whatever. She totally blew me off.
Me: Are you worried for her safety? Do you think that Callie is in any danger?”
Ryan: Not physical. I think that Louise is just trying to make me miserable. Because she is unhappy, she wants the rest of the world unhappy.
Me: You know that this is just the beginning, right? Many times, this gets much worse before it breaks. You might have to speak to an attorney.
Ryan: A friend of mine is an attorney, but I’m not even sure what kind. I’m assuming this would fall under family law.
Me: It would.
Ryan: What else do you have planned for today?
Me: Nothing much, just spending time with Wasabi. The poor guy has been left a lot lately.
Ryan: You mind if I come over for a while? I’m pacing this fucking house.
Me: Sure, pick up food on your way?
Ryan: Of course.
Thirty minutes later, I was putting away my last load of laundry, an array of panties, socks, and sports bras, when I heard a car door. I raced to try and beat him, but I was too late. The doorbell went off and so did Wasabi. My little poodle turned into Godzilla, ready to tear apart the door and whoever stood on the other side.
“Chill out, Wasabi, it’s just Ryan.” I could hear Ryan’s low chuckle through the door.
“Want me to ring the bell again?”
“You do and I’m grabbing my gun,” I said as I opened the door, Wasabi squirming underneath my arm as I held him tight like a football.
“For me or him?” Ryan pointed to himself and then the dog.
“Not sure; although, I’ve known Wasabi longer.”
“Yeah, but does he bring you food because you hate to cook and even buys extra so you have leftovers? And does he do this?” Ryan snaked his free hand around my neck and pulled me in closer to him, our noses grazing before he went in for a kiss. First it was just our lips lightly touching, the whisper-soft touch of skin on skin, and then he deepened it, his tongue sweeping in and tangling with mine as I pressed closer to him.
The sound of a car driving by brought me back to reality and the fact that we were still standing in my open doorway. I pulled back. “Come in.” I shut the door and led him inside. “So, what did you bring? Smells like hot wings.”
“It is, plus I picked up a Greek salad.”
“Want to eat first?”
“Sure.” Ryan set everything down on my small bistro-style table while I put Wasabi down, washed my hands, and grabbed plates and forks. “I brought some extra wings and a small side salad if you want to put thes
e in your fridge for another day.”
“Some women want roses and poetry, but me? I want this, I want not having to worry about what to make for dinner after an exhausting day.” I sat and took the plate he held out to me.
“What makes your job so exhausting?” Ryan waited for my answer, as if he were truly interested in what I had to say.
“The sun. Being out in the sun all day drains you. But also, some of the people. I’m shocked at how many people are so clueless. I get in emergencies, adrenaline is flowing, and all common sense flies out.”
“Tell me about it. The same thing happens with doctors. It takes years before we have it together in a crisis, and still, I’ve wobbled, it could be the most basic thing, and I can’t recall it for the life of me.”
“Exactly. But mine are”—I tapped a finger against my bottom lip—“not clueless, I think the word I’m looking for is self-absorbed. They are so self-absorbed that they put no one and nothing before themselves. We recently had a call about a young boy who was working at McDonald’s. A homeless woman came in and placed an order then as she was counting out her pennies, she realized she didn’t have enough. The kid was only seventeen, but he reached into his own pocket and gave her the rest of the money for her order. Two guys behind her started giving the kid a hard time, demanding that he pay for their food as well.”
“Could those two afford it?”
“Oh, yeah, they were all decked out and had a brand-new Escalade in the parking lot. When he didn’t and said that he didn’t have that kind of extra money the guys left.”
“I’m glad they left, but why were the police called?” Ryan said before he took a bite from a wing.
“They left to go out to their Escalade and grab a gun. They shot the kid point blank in the head.”
“Holy shit. What happened to them?”
“They’re in jail and being held without bond. Someone had to tell that boy’s family. That homeless woman now lives with the guilt that her hunger led to an innocent kid’s death. All of the patrons and employees working are emotionally scarred or should be. I know that I would have been, had I not chosen this career path. And those guys, if they are found guilty—”