by Fields, MJ
“I need more, Ryan. Please . . .”
“I thought you’d never ask.” And, holy hell, I’d never felt anything like him. He fucked me with long slow thrusts that hit all the places that made my toes curl. No matter how badly I wanted to rock against him, to urge him to take more and take it faster, I couldn’t. I was completely under his control.
I held on to his shoulders as he shifted and then started to drive into me harder and faster as he kissed and licked along my jaw and neck. “Ryan.”
“What, baby?”
“I don’t know, just don’t stop. Whatever you do, just don’t stop.” I could feel his lips pull into a grin as he shifted again, pulled almost all the way out of me, and then slammed into me so hard I wanted to cry at the pleasure of it.
When he rolled his hips against me, against my clit, I shattered. “Oh, god, Ryan, I’m coming. Holy shit.”
“I’m right behind you, baby.” Again and again he pushed into me and rolled, forcing my climax higher and higher until I was shaking and he was spilling inside me.
He was just as breathless as I was as he slowly lowered my feet back to the shower floor, but when I wobbled, his arms were there to steady me. His lips were there to catch my whimpers. “Sadie,” he said between slow kisses. “You are incredible.”
“You’re pretty impressive yourself.” This time I was the one smiling. “You know what would really be awesome, though?”
“More awesome than hot wall sex in a shower after a long day?”
“Mm-hmm.”
His mouth dropped to my shoulder before he asked, “What?”
“Food.”
His booming laughter seemed to echo inside the confines of the shower. “Well, it’s a good thing I brought you dinner.”
“You know how I told you that I didn’t want flowers or poetry just food?”
“Don’t tell me that you’ve changed your mind?” Ryan swept my hair away from my eyes.
“No. Well, sort of. That, what we just did wasn’t sex, that was naked poetry, I’ll take that anytime as well.”
Ryan placed a quick kiss on my head. “Me, too.”
“Shit!” I pushed him back and slammed the water off. I hadn’t actually washed anything, but I could take another shower later because I had something more important to deal with.
Ryan was frozen in place, looking at me with wide eyes.
“What?” he asked as I grabbed two towels and tossed one to him.
“You didn’t set it on the table, did you? Wasabi, the little motherfucker, will jump onto a chair and then onto the table if there is something up there he wants.” I bent forward and wrapped the towel around my hair before straightening. Ryan hadn’t answered me, so I turned to look at him. He was staring at my ass.
It was nice to know he appreciated a good view, but . . . food.
“Ryan?”
He blinked away the dazed look in his eyes and cleared his throat as he wrapped the towel around his hips. “No, I set it on the kitchen counter.”
“Thank god. He is worse than a Hoover vacuum. That dog will suck down anything and everything.”
“But he’s so little.”
“Sure, but don’t let that fool you.” I grabbed a T-shirt from my top drawer and slipped it on. “You get dressed while I reheat everything. Okay?”
He nodded, and I pressed a quick kiss to his lips before heading to my kitchen. “Wasabi, you little asshole, you better not be on that table.” I clapped my hands and heard the sound of his nails. “Ha, the chairs were all pushed in, you couldn’t get up. Serves you right, you little shit head.” If dogs could talk, he would be telling me all the ways he planned on violating my boots.
When Ryan joined me, he was in his jeans, which were left unbuttoned, and nothing else. I almost dropped the empty to-go container I was holding. “When do you find time to work out?”
“A few times a week, why?”
I handed him a plate and then waved a finger up and down to indicate his body. He just grinned. “I have to thank genetics for this, but age will eventually catch up with me.” Ryan took a bite of spaghetti before asking, “How about you, you have to stay in shape?”
I pulled apart a breadstick and dragged it through sauce before eating it. “I eat like this, so I have to work out a lot.” I took a sip of Coke before continuing. “I try to make it to the gym every other day, and I run—and I don’t just mean within my job. Although, I do less of that now than I used to.”
“Why less?”
“My motorcycle makes it so that I don’t really have to since it can go more places than a car.”
“Why motors? Why not detective or something like SWAT?”
“When I was little my dad had a bike. After my mom passed, it was our thing. We’d put on our helmets, I’d hold on to his waist and then go for a ride through the country. No words, just the wind on our faces. For me it was feeling his heartbeat under my hands.”
“How old were you when your mom passed?”
“Four.”
“May I ask how, or do you not like talking about it?” Ryan looked somewhat apprehensive.
“I don’t mind. She was diagnosed with cervical cancer but it was too late by the time they found it.”
“I’m so sorry.” Ryan reached forward and squeezed my hand.
“Your mom lives with you, I figured that your dad must be gone. What happened?”
“He passed away just before Callie was born. He was an investment banker and was just sitting having breakfast with my mom when he had a heart attack.”
“Poor Kathryn.”
“Tell me about it. She called 9-1-1 and then called me, but by the time paramedics arrived, it was too late. We had just bought the house where I’m living now, and Deirdre had just found out that she was pregnant. The pool house needed to be redone anyway, so we decided to have it remodeled into a small apartment and have my mom move in to be close to us.”
“She seems very happy, and I’m sure it helped having her there after Deirdre passed.”
“It did.” We were both quiet for a few moments. “So, is that why you volunteer at Kidz Klub, to help children with what you didn’t have?”
“It’s more to give kids what I did have. When I was seven my dad met Margaret and she was wonderful. She loved me for me. I don’t think a day went by that she didn’t thank my mom for allowing her to be a part of my life. I always felt my mom was still there.”
“She sounds very special.” Ryan’s words were soft.
I thought about the night of my senior prom; Margaret had been my stepmom for ten years at that point.
“Sadie, you’re so beautiful.” Margaret’s words were always so sincere, her cheeks wet from her tears.
“Will you stop crying?” I asked Margaret as I grabbed yet another tissue from the box on my counter and handed it to her. “If you keep this up, I’m going to run out and have to let you use the tissues I’ve stuffed into my bra.”
“You do not have any stuffed in your bra, do you?” Margaret looked dumbfounded. I had to admit, over the past ten years, shocking Margaret had become one of my favorite things to do, maybe because it was so easy.
Even at eighteen I was already practicing my cop-stare. “Keep crying, and you’ll find out,” I warned her before cracking up laughing.
Margaret dried her face. “It’s just that . . . well, I’m so lucky to be here today, helping you get ready for your prom.” I pressed the sides of my index fingers underneath my eyes to catch any pooling tears before they had a chance to make my mascara run. “You’re just so beautiful, and when I look at the photos of your mom, I swear that I’m looking at you.”
“I love you, Margaret. You’ve been more than a mom to me; you’ve been a friend. I’m so glad that you and my dad found each other. You’re kind of like Maria in the Sound of Music, you know? You swept in and stirred our world up. In a good way, of course.”
“Of course.” Margaret squeezed my shoulders but was smiling instead of cr
ying. “You better hurry or you will surpass fashionably late and go straight to ‘I’ve decided to ditch prom.’”
“Oh, now that’s an idea.”
“Nope, you promised me that you would go, and I want pictures. I need to play doting stepparent and try to improve our image, you know we stepmoms get a bad rap.”
“Oh, sorry, maybe I should take that blog down.”
“Cheeky brat.”
I smiled at that memory. Margaret had been a lifesaver not just for me but also for my dad, which made me think of the gorgeous man across from me. Whoever Ryan married, I hoped that she would treat Callie just like Margaret treated me. And be the helping hand that Ryan wanted. At that thought, a slow ache began to grow in my chest. Maybe I’d been wrong, maybe I could do this just like Margaret did. Maybe I could be that lifesaver for Ryan and Callie.
When dinner was done, we moved to the couch and watched the best of James Corden car-karaoke. “What are we watching?” Ryan had Wasabi in his lap and was absently rubbing behind his ears.
“What? How have you never seen this? It is so funny. James Corden is hysterical.”
“Is that George Clooney? Oh my god, I just lost so much respect for him, ‘Yo, George, I’m so disappointed in you.’ I can’t believe that Batman sang karaoke of Hollaback Girls. What is this world coming to?” Ryan was laughing the entire time.
“You stop making fun of this or I’ll invite you to karaoke night and force you to be one of the Hollaback Girls.”
“Hey, if Batman can do it, then I’m golden.”
Nineteen
Callie
It couldn’t be true, it couldn’t be. Grammy and Aunt Sonya are wrong. Sadie did love me. I picked up a picture that Daddy had placed next to my bed, Mommy and me were finding Easter eggs. “Angel mommy, is it okay that I love Sadie? That doesn’t mean I don’t love you or will forget you, I won’t, never ever, ever. I promise. Cross my heart. Grammy said that if I love Sadie then that means I don’t love you, but I do.” I put the picture down and grabbed another, one that was on my dresser, it was of me when I was still in Mommy’s tummy.
I pulled my phone out of my backpack and then stared at the few phone numbers listed. Daddy said not to call Sadie’s number unless it was an emergency, but this was an emergency, wasn’t it? Sadie wasn’t at school Monday or Tuesday, and I needed to know that she was okay and that she still liked us. Pressing the number, I waited.
“The number you’ve dialed is not a working number.”
“Sadie?” But there was nothing, Sadie wasn’t there. I hung up and tried again.
“The number you’ve dialed is not a working number.” I pulled the phone away and stared at the number. Yes, it was a working number. I had seen Sadie enter it. Why would she give me the wrong number?
Tears pricked my eyelids, and I threw my phone onto the floor. Daddy would be mad if he saw me do it, but I didn’t care.
Sadie only likes your dad, she isn’t really a nice person. Sadie doesn’t want you to ever see us again.
Aunt Sonya was right; Sadie didn’t really like me.
I curled up on my bed. I needed to ask Sadie myself. But how?
* * *
“Come on, Callie!” Hunter hollered for me. He was my friend, but today, I didn’t feel like playing. I just wanted to sit at the edge of the school playground.
“I don’t want to.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I need to talk to Sadie.”
“The deputy?” I nodded. “Call her.”
“I can’t, her phone number isn’t working, and she hasn’t come to my house in a long time.”
“Go see her.”
“How? My daddy won’t just take me.”
“Call an Uber.”
“What’s that?” Hunter knew everything because he had an older sister. So, if he said I should call . . . whatever that thing was, then I would.
“My sister uses them. She calls them on her phone and they come and take her where she wants to go. Sometimes, when my parents are at work, she will call them and we go get ice cream.”
“But I don’t know their number.”
“No, it’s an app.”
“I don’t know how to get an app.”
“Where’s your phone?” I pulled it out of my pocket and handed it to him. “Don’t let Miss Ashley see me. Tell me if she is coming.”
“Okay.” I kept an eye on Miss Ashley, but she was busy talking to Mrs. Witherspoon.
“This is an app. I’m using my sister’s information. When you want to go somewhere, you hit this button. Then we tell it where you want to go. Where do you want to go?”
“I want to go find Sadie.”
“Do you know where she lives?”
“Yes.”
“What’s her address?”
I didn’t know her address. I only knew her house because I’d been there. “I don’t know.”
“You could go to the sheriff’s station.”
“Okay. How?”
Hunter typed sheriff’s station into the search bar, and two cars came up.
“A driver can be here at eleven sixteen, and it is twenty dollars and forty-one cents.”
“I only have five dollars on me. My daddy makes me keep money in my backpack.”
“We don’t need real money, it is card money because you pay on the app. You want him to come get you?”
“Yes.”
I watched as Hunter clicked the screen. “The car will be blue, and it will pull up in front. He isn’t far. You better go.”
“I’ll tell Miss Ashley that I have to go to the bathroom. Thank you, Hunter.” He gave me a wide smile. Hunter was already missing his two front teeth, so his smile was a bit goofy, but he’d already been visited by the tooth fairy. See? He knew everything.
“Miss Ashley, may I use the restroom?”
“We only have fifteen more minutes, can you wait until then?”
“No.”
“Okay, hurry up.”
I raced off and went into her classroom to grab my backpack before heading to the front of the school. I stood at the corner of the building, and when I saw a blue car pull up, my phone dinged. I walked over when the driver rolled down his window. I stared at him for a few seconds, he had eyes like Miss Ashley. They were friendly. “Are you Uber?”
“Yes, where are your parents?”
“My daddy is at the hospital, but I’m going to the sheriff’s station.”
“I don’t know, kid. You’re supposed to be eighteen.”
Daddy told me that I wasn’t allowed to fake cry anymore, but I had to . . . this one last time. “I have to go to the sheriff, you can’t leave me. My daddy is at the hospital.” I sobbed and let the tears fall down my face.
“Kid, calm down, where’s your mom?”
“She died.” I cried even harder.
“I need the sheriff. I’m just a little girl. I can’t be left alone. Mister, help me please.”
“Okay, okay, I’m taking you to the cops. Just stop crying. I got paid, and I’m turning you over to the authorities, so no skin off my back.” He turned back to look at me. “Make sure you’re seat belted in, okay?” I nodded.
As soon as we left my school, my heart started racing. I was going to see Sadie. I’d tell her that I wanted her to be my new mom. She loved me . . . I know she did, so she would say yes.
“You okay back there, kid?”
“Yes.” He flipped his hair, and it came loose from his ponytail. “You’re a boy and you have a ponytail.”
“You sound like my mom, she doesn’t like my ponytail either.”
“Ponytails are for girls.”
“Nope, a lot of guys have them. At least where I go to school they do.”
“You’re still in school?”
“Yep. I’m in college, but it’s school.”
He stopped talking, so I peered out the window and wasn’t sure whether we were going the right way or not. I’d been here before, but I was with Daddy. He
knew the way, so I didn’t pay attention. When the car slowed, I looked around, and there was a giant star on the front of the building just like the one Sadie’s friend had given me.
“Okay, kid. You’re here. Go inside. Tell them that you need help.”
“Thank you.” I opened the door and slid out just as sirens started to scream. The car drove off, and I stood, staring up at the building as officers ran out of the front doors.
Was that for me? Was I in trouble? What if they arrested me? Panicked, I hid behind a building and waited for everything to go quiet, but it didn’t, the sirens only got louder.
I crouched, wrapped my hands around my legs, and slid down behind a large garbage can that smelled yucky. “Sadie, please find me, Sadie. Sadie, please find me, Sadie.”
“Who’s Sadie?” I jumped at the sound and turned to look up, up, up, at the biggest woman I had ever seen. “Don’t just stand there with your mouth open, I asked you a question, who’s Sadie?”
“She’s gonna be my new mom.”
“Does she know you’re out here? This ain’t no place for no chillins.” Chillins? I didn’t know what a chillin was, but I was afraid to ask. “Girl, what’s your name?” I looked up at the big woman. She wore a dress, but not a dress like I used to wear, this one came to the ground and was bright, and her face looked all pinched, as if she were annoyed.
“What’s on your head?”
“It’s a gele.”
“It’s pretty.”
“Thank you, now why don’t you tell old Coco what your name is?”
“Callie.”
“Well, Miss Callie, why don’t you come inside, and I will see what I can do to help you.” She called me Miss. I liked that. No one called me Miss. So, when she held out her large hand, I took it.
“You’re big.”
Coco let out a laugh that was loud and reminded me of Santa Claus. “That I am.”
I was surprised when we got inside. “You’ve got a store? There are all kinds of things in here. I’ve never been to a store like this before.” She had a large sign, it was all sparkly and had a crown. “Is this your store?”