by Fields, MJ
“El, whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. It’s okay. Take a breath,” he commanded.
“Bryce! How is this okay?” I screeched, not understanding how he could be so calm while I was freaking the hell out. “What if she swallows something or hurts herself?”
“El, there’s a key to the bathroom on top of the door frame.”
I immediately pushed up on my toes and ran my fingers along the frame. A small silver key tumbled to the ground.
“Oh my god. I feel like such an idiot,” I mumbled, sliding the key into the lock.
“You’re not an idiot, Uno. Just a little unpracticed.”
I pushed the door open and dropped the phone, sweeping a sobbing Peyton into my arms. She latched on to me like I was her hero, and I honestly wasn’t sure which one of us was more relieved.
With one arm hooked under Peyton, I picked the phone back up. “Okay, we’re good. Sorry. I guess I might have overreacted.”
“Don’t worry about it. Really. She’s stealthy as hell. I should’ve warned you.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Noted.”
A few minutes later, Bryce found us sprawled out in her room, reading a book about farm animals. He cleared his throat and held out her milk in one hand and my coffee in the other. Peyton shot out of my lap to run toward him.
Bryce scooped her up and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m sorry she gave you such a scare,” he said, concern etched into his features.
I took the coffee and shrugged. “Nothing like a mini-heart attack to get the blood pumping before seven a.m.”
“If it helps, not every morning is this dramatic. Plus, it seems like it wasn’t all bad; she looked pretty cozy in your lap.”
“Yeah; I think it actually helped us bond in a weird, roundabout way.”
One silver lining of Peyton waking us up at the crack of dawn was that we finished breakfast and I still had an hour before I needed to be at work.
“Hey,” Bryce called from the kitchen. “There’s a ‘Boo at the Zoo’ Halloween thing tomorrow evening. Have you been before? I’m not sure how long Peyton will last, but I think she’d enjoy it. Want to come with us?”
“I’ve heard of it, but I’ve never been. I’d love to go with you guys.” I smiled, both at the thought of Peyton’s excitement at seeing the animals and at my own memories of time spent at the zoo as a kid. “As long as you promise not to get any crazy ideas. Last time we went to the zoo together, you spent a month trying to convince your parents to let you get a ball python.”
He laughed. “El, I was, what, twelve? Now I’m trying to hold off on pets for as long as possible considering this one will probably ask for a pig as soon as she’s speaking in complete sentences. Plus, there’s already a python in the house, and two’s a crowd.”
“Did you seriously just mention your daughter in one breath and your…c-o-c-k…the next?” I asked, dropping my voice.
He handed Peyton her sippy cup before walking over and sitting beside me on the couch. “She’s not even two; she has no idea what I was talking about. Did you seriously just spell out the word cock? Because that was weirdly hot.”
He leaned in, kissed my neck, and I groaned.
“Bryce. I really do need to run home and shower. And Peyton is staring at us.” I tilted my head at her. She was sitting on her Frozen plastic ride-on car, munching on her crackers and watching us like a hawk.
He swiveled his head around to see Peyton’s scowl and sighed. “My daughter, the eternal c-o-c-k blocker.”
I couldn’t help but giggle, pushing against his chest to stand. “You poor, poor thing. I think you’ll survive.”
“Easy for you to say.” He stood and followed me to the laundry room. “In all seriousness, El, I’m sorry about last night, that things got…derailed. Again.”
“Don’t be. Maybe the third time’ll be the charm,” I quipped, pressing up on my toes to give him a quick peck. Before he got any ideas about taking things further, I pulled back and grabbed my purse then headed for the door. I turned back and gave Peyton a smile that morphed into a smirk when I looked at her dad. “Until then, I guess vibrator-Bryce will just have to do.”
I blew him a kiss and reached for the door handle.
“Really? You’re just going to give me that mental picture and leave?”
“Yeah, I think I am.”
“Game on, Uno,” he called, reaching for the back of his shirt as he made his way to the door. I froze and watched him pull it off in what felt like slow motion. Bryce and his ridiculously lickable abs came to a stop and leaned against the door frame. “Game. Fucking. On.”
Well that backfired in a big, WTF-was-I-thinking way.
* * *
When Bryce said ‘game on’ what he meant was ‘I’m going to torture you with visuals of my own.’
All. Damn. Day.
I had back-to-back meetings with clients until mid-afternoon, but every glance at my phone made me regret ever walking out of Bryce’s house.
An hour after I left, he sent me a shirtless selfie wearing his sex-me-up glasses and a smug smirk.
Two hours after that, another selfie, this time at the park licking ice cream from a cone.
Later, the mirror selfie to end all mirror selfies—Bryce post-shower, a towel hanging wickedly low around his hips. And the glasses. Always the glasses.
The fact that I got any work done was a testament to how dedicated I was to FMK and my job.
Even a day later, sitting in the conference room with Jasmine, Jade, and Carleigh, talking about plans for the venue, my mind kept wandering back to Bryce and this wicked little game of foreplay.
The four of us had spent a solid two hours making plans and going over the sketches Bryce had emailed from Seattle, and I only retained fifty percent of what was said. Great.
“Hello? Earth to Elliot,” Jade called from across the table.
“What? Sorry,” I said, whipping my head up and away from Bryce’s text.
Jasmine sat between us at the head of the table and eyed me suspiciously. “You were just smiling at your phone like it had turned into a magic lamp and was about to grant you three wishes. You’ve got a serious blush working its way up your neck. And you’re so antsy to bolt out of here you wouldn’t have batted an eyelash if I’d just suggested naming the venue after my second favorite porno. Spill it, Kincaid.”
I swallowed and wracked my brain for a denial, but Jas was right. My mind was totally not in the game. “Uh, I…crap,” I muttered, trailing my hands over my neck in a futile effort to hide my blush.
Jasmine gasped and slapped the table.
“Holy fucking shit! You slept with Bryce! I knew it,” she exclaimed, looking totally confident in her assumption. “Good for you. I’m betting your history with him only made it hotter. Am I right? Of course I’m right, otherwise you wouldn’t be trying to hide it from us.”
Jade and Carleigh both gasped on cue and stared at me from the opposite side of the table.
“Oh my god, Jas is right, isn’t she?” Carleigh mused, her smile wide and knowing, and her blue eyes studying me closely. She flipped her red mane over her shoulder and scooted closer to the table, propping her elbows on the surface and resting her chin in her hands. “You’ve been way too tight-lipped about things with him lately, which means things are more serious than you’re letting on. I mean, we all know you were channeling your sexual frustration into your work while he was gone. And you’re totally blushing like a teenager. It makes so much sense now.”
I sighed and accepted the fact that there was no getting out of this conversation. “All right, Nancy Drew one and two, relax. Yes, I like him. A lot. Other than that, though, I don’t have much to tell you." Jade lifted a brow. Carleigh's eyes narrowed. Jas pursed her lips. The three of them remained silent, staring at me. "Look," I said, flustered, "Our circumstances aren’t exactly normal. Things ended on a high note with Peyton yesterday, but only after I let her freaking lock herself in a bathroom. I hav
e no idea if I’ll ever be able to fully win her over. On top of that hurdle, you guys know how delicate and complicated things are given his involvement with the inn and now the venue. We’re not rushing to label anything, and I’m perfectly okay with that. All I know is spending time with him makes me happy, and that’s enough.”
“If you’re happy, I’m happy for you,” Carleigh offered.
Jade nodded in agreement. “We’re curious because we care, El.” She leaned across the table and gave my arm a squeeze, her reassuring smile echoing her words. “You’ve been so one-track-minded with work for a while now. Just promise me that you’ll remember to let yourself have a life outside of FMK and the inn and the venue. You’re twenty-four; you’ve got a lifetime to spend at work, but how often does a Bryce McKnight come along?”
Twice in the last decade, if we’re keeping track.
Jas was suspiciously quiet, choosing this moment to go refill her coffee cup. Jas was never quiet; her thoughts were practically loud enough to hear most of the time. When she came back to the table, the three of us stared at her expectantly.
“What?” she asked, shrugging. “I mean, ditto what Jade and Carleigh said. I’m happy you’re happy, El.”
We all continued to stare at her, collectively waiting for the ‘but’ that we knew was burning on the tip of Jasmine’s tongue.
She sipped her coffee and diverted her gaze to the piles of notes in front of her.
I reached out and pulled her notebook away. “Jas, what the hell? I know there’s something else you’re not saying. Spit it out.”
She shifted in her seat, keeping her eyes down before sighing and looking up to meet my gaze. “Fine. It’s just…I can’t help but wonder if you’d be less reluctant to label things with Bryce if you had true closure with Helen. I’ve known you through two different boyfriends and through your dating hiatus, and I’ve never seen you anywhere near as happy as you were even when you were still trying to convince yourself he belonged in the ‘strictly friends’ category. It's so obvious that you two belong in each other’s lives. I’m not saying you’re destined to ride off into the sunset with him, but maybe you are. Maybe he’s 'it' for you, or maybe not. But I know you, Elliot, and I know you won’t hesitate to break your own damn heart if you think there’s even a chance you’ll do to Peyton what Helen did to you.”
For a moment, nobody dared to speak or move. Maybe even breathe.
I forced air into my lungs and willed my heart to keep beating, even though processing Jas’s words was enough to stop it cold.
God, the truth is a harsh mistress.
Finally, Jas broke the silence of her own creation, continuing, “I love and adore and admire you, El. For so many reasons. But you’ve never seen yourself clearly when it comes to the scars Helen left in you. I know what the absence of a parent can do,” she said softly, reaching over to cover my hand with hers. “The scars and the havoc they wreak can lay dormant for years, just waiting to strike when you’re least expecting it. Listen, you can say no, tell me to fuck off, whatever, but hear me out. Let me ask Dean to use his resources at work to find whatever information he can on Helen. You can do whatever you want with the information, whether that’s speaking with her in person or just using that information to give you closure. Just say the word and I’ll ask.”
Jas’s mom passed away when she was thirteen, so our experiences and losses were vastly different, but she understood more than most what it was like to go through life without a mother. Her offer was sincere and heart-felt, and I wasn’t sure she’d ever know how much I appreciated it.
“I’ll think about it,” I promised, squeezing her hand in turn.
Maybe she was right.
Getting answers from Helen wasn’t going to magically fix everything, but maybe…just maybe, it would bring me enough peace to quiet the doubts and fears that had crept into the crevices of my mind.
Nineteen
Elliot
My phone buzzed against my desk while I packed up for my next meeting, and when I saw Bryce’s name I quickly dropped the stack of paperwork in favor of reading his text. I planned to meet him and Peyton in a few hours, but that didn’t stop butterflies from fluttering to life at the sight of his name on my phone screen.
BRYCE:Peyton is going to be in her costume tonight, so feel free to come in one too. I’d be happy to make some suggestions if you can’t think of one… ;)
ELLIOT:Oh, you’d love that. Let me guess…slutty nurse?
BRYCE:I’m a little offended you don’t think I’m more creative than that.
ELLIOT:Yeah, ohhhhhhkay. What’s Peyton’s costume?
A photo of a fluffy pink blob came through, and I zoomed in on the picture to see that it was a little pig.
ELLIOT:Oh my god! That’s adorable. I wish I had more time. We could’ve all gone as animals!
BRYCE:Good thing you’re already a fox.
ELLIOT:Wow, Bryce. That was so cheesy, you should be a goat tonight.
BRYCE:Oh, I’m the goat alright. As in, ‘greatest of all time’…if you know what I mean. *Smirking emoji*
ELLIOT:Starting to wish I didn’t.
BRYCE:You’re lion.
ELLIOT:Stop. I don’t think I can bear another dad-pun.
BRYCE:Whale, I can’t say that doesn’t hurt.
ELLIOT:OMG.
BRYCE:I’m not kitten.
ELLIOT:You are officially the dorkiest person I know.
BRYCE:Strange…I’ve never seen a phone autocorrect ‘sexiest’ that dramatically.
ELLIOT:…still proving my point. I’ll see you soon, punny man.
It should’ve been weird that a brief, flirty text conversation with Bryce made me feel like a giddy schoolgirl. The same Bryce who used to play with me in the rain and once offered to beat up the first boy who broke my heart. The same Bryce who camped out with me under the stars long ago and gave me one of the walkie talkies he got for Christmas one year, just so I could call him if I had a nightmare.
But it wasn’t weird.
It was actually sorta wonderful.
Our friendship was innocent back then, but there was nothing innocent about the way Bryce McKnight made me feel now. The ease I always felt with him, the comfort from our friendship, the trust between us, had come rushing back, only now I didn’t just look at him and see my old friend. The boy I'd spent my childhood playing with had become the man I couldn’t stop thinking about.
And, for once, I wasn’t obsessing over the future. I wasn’t trying to plan and label and categorize exactly what we were doing.
For once…I was happy to just be. In the moment. With him.
In our ‘B and E’ bubble.
The thing about bubbles though? Sooner or later, they always pop.
* * *
A few hours later, I drove to Bryce’s house sporting the same smile I’d had since I read his first terrible pun. Not even an ‘emergency’ meeting with a bridezilla from hell was enough to bring me down. Instead of stressing about the five last minute, over-the-top changes she requested for her upcoming wedding, I pictured how freaking adorable I knew Peyton would be in her costume. Instead of letting my mind run wild thinking about all the work I could be doing, I focused solely on how much fun tonight would be.
Unlike the last time I showed up at his house, Bryce was (merci)fully clothed when he opened the front door. But Peyton was propped on his hip, so the swoon-factor was still perfectly intact. The sight drew a smile from my lips and sent that same rush of warmth through my veins.
“Hey, you.”
“Hey, you two,” I replied, giving Peyton what I hoped was a non-creepy smile. She swung her pink-tight-clad legs back and forth and leaned into Bryce, but didn’t hide completely this time, instead flashing me a tentative smile in return. I’ll take what I can get.
Bryce adjusted her position so I could see the whole costume, then flipped up her hood to give me the full effect. With the hood up, she was covered in soft chenille tendrils
with pointy ears and a round nose. Holes at the tops of her thighs allowed her legs to poke out, and little plastic hooves covered her shoes.
I’d never seen anything cuter in my life.
“Oh my god! She’s going to be the cutest animal of all!”
Bryce grinned and grabbed a bag off the hook behind the door. “That she is. Ready to take this little piggy to the zoo?”
“Do you mind if I change first? I’ll be fast.” I held up my duffel bag. “Pretty sure silk and zoos don’t mix.”
“Sure, I’ll get her buckled while you change. We’ll wait for you in the car.”
I sped off toward the bathroom and traded my dress for skinny jeans and an off-the-shoulder top I had stolen from Sophia, swapping my heels for booties.
Satisfied, I hurried out to Bryce’s SUV and hopped into the passenger seat. As I clicked my seatbelt into place, he hit the brakes; we hadn't even made it out of the driveway.
I paused and looked over at him, confused. “Did you forget something?”
“Yeah. This,” he said, shifting into park and leaning across the center console to frame my face with his hands. Before I could react, his mouth pressed to mine, freezing the smile splayed on my lips. I melted into the kiss, into him, gripping his wrists in my hands like I needed them to keep me grounded. I didn’t know how he did it, how it was possible for a simple kiss from Bryce to simultaneously reduce me to a mess of lust and desperation and fill me with happiness and peace. But that’s exactly what his kisses did. Every. Single. Time.