She had thought herself safe and secure. Comfortable. It was becoming more clear to her that she’d just been sleepwalking through life, but now… now she was wide awake. And life, at the moment, wasn’t pretty. How dare Kevin wipe out their account without speaking to her first? Just how much had she allowed that man to control her life?
She’d get that question answered before the day was done.
8
You stay here in the car, Charlie,” she said, looking at the house where she had spent so much time talking, laughing, sharing with her best friend. Now, it felt like the camp of her enemy. “Matty is sleeping. He’s been fed and changed and should be just fine until we get home.”
“You’re sure you’ll be all right, Suzanne? If you want, I’ll come with you.”
She shook her head, as she opened the car door. “No. You stay with the baby. I’ll be fine.”
“I’m here, if you need me,” he said with a smile of sympathy.
She could only nod, for Charlie’s expression of support almost threatened her resolve. She couldn’t allow any weakness now. Now is a time for strength, she thought as she walked up the driveway and past Kevin’s black Porsche convertible. She understood the rage some women felt toward a man, and was glad she didn’t have keys in her hand or Kevin’s precious car top might just have a few punctures in it. In truth, she wanted to shoot him, but she knew violence wasn’t in her nature. But she sure understood the need to even the score. It was a sense of unfairness, of justice being way out of balance.
She felt like everything in her life was out of place, as she passed Ingrid’s plantings of daffodils and crocuses. They were withering, as their time of blossom was almost over, and she sorely identified with them. She, too, felt like a death was occurring—the death of her marriage, her dreams, even a friendship that had lasted since junior high school.
Remembering that she must remain strong, she walked up to the front door while reminding herself that the flowers really weren’t dying. At their root they were strong and alive and, given a new season, they would push themselves out from all the dirt that surrounded them and thrive again. Just like her.
For some reason the thought gave her comfort—that there was a season to life, just like in nature. Important things in her life might be withering right before her eyes, but if she remained strong at her root, at her core, then she could rest, gather her strength through this tough time, and one day lift her face once more to the sun and blossom. Okay, so it was a scattered analogy, but right now it made a great deal of sense to her.
She took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.
The first thing she thought when she saw Ingrid was that her once best friend looked tired, even though she was smartly dressed in tan slacks and a white short-sleeved cashmere sweater, a sweater she had given Ingrid two years ago for Christmas. Shocked, Ingrid could only stare at her with wide brown eyes.
Suzanne wanted to take back the sweater. Actually, she wanted to rip it off, but cleared her mind and stated, “I want to see Kevin.”
Ingrid brushed back her long brown hair, which Suzanne noticed had been highlighted with streaks of dark blond in the last two weeks, and took a deep breath. “Look, Suzanne, I’ve wanted to talk to you. To explain every—”
“You can’t explain anything, Ingrid,” Suzanne interrupted before she lost her temper. She wanted to save that for Kevin. “Now, please get my husband.”
Ingrid’s face became rigid and her body seem to turn to stone. “Just a minute. Do you want to come in?”
“No, thank you,” Suzanne replied, dismissing her as she cast her attention to the brick exterior of the expensive house.
She heard Ingrid walking away and bit the inside of her cheek to stop the flood of emotions that threatened to ruin her composure. How many times had she walked through that door, ready to share her life, eager to hear Ingrid’s latest accomplishment or comfort her over the last boyfriend who had turned into a loser? Why, she’d even been the one who’d helped Ingrid find this house when her friend had made her first profits in e-trading. She’d assisted in the decorating, and her housewarming present was right there in the foyer… an original watercolor by Ingrid’s favorite local artist.
She wasn’t just losing her marriage. She was losing her best friend at the same time and the weight of that grief almost overwhelmed her.
“Suzanne.”
Startled back into the present, she took a shuddering deep breath and faced him.
“I want to know just what the hell you think you’re doing, wiping out the checking account without even talking to me.” There. That was the question, now what was his answer?
“I tried to call you, but you don’t pick up. You just let the answering machine take the calls.”
“I let the answering machine take your calls,” she retorted, noticing that he looked very relaxed in a pair of jeans and a cream cashmere sweater. Damn, if she didn’t buy that one too! “I never thought you would stoop low enough to pull such an unconscionable act such as this—leaving me and your son without any money. Oh wait, I suppose I should have been prepared since you left us both the day he was born!”
“You can’t make me feel any more guilty, Suzanne.”
“I’m not trying to make you feel guilty, Kevin. You have to have a conscience for that, and you’ve certainly proved you don’t. What I do want to know is what the hell you think you’re doing by closing the account. Matty and I have to live, damn it.”
“I didn’t close it.”
“You left ten dollars!”
“I did it for protection,” he answered, putting his hands into his pockets as he looked over her shoulder to the car at the curb.
“Protection? From whom? You think I’m going to wipe you out?” she demanded, incredulously.
He almost smirked. Almost. And the slight movement of his lips was enough to make Suzanne curl her fingers into her palms to avoid hitting him.
“I don’t know you anymore. You’re acting irrationally, Suzanne.”
“Excuse me? I’m acting irrationally?”
“You give birth to our son and don’t even tell me about it. Then I come to find a stranger living in my home. I know how naive you can be, Suzanne, and I don’t intend for some handyman to take advantage of you or to—”
“Naive?” she interrupted in a louder voice. “Oh, I guess I was, Kevin. Never would I have thought that my husband and my best friend,” she directed over his shoulder, knowing that Ingrid was lurking somewhere within earshot, “would both betray me. That was a rude awakening, but make no mistake, Kevin McDermott—I am awake now. Wide awake! And I will not be treated like a child who can’t make responsible decisions. I demand you reinstate the money in that checking account immediately so I can be free to—”
“I intend to give you an allowance,” he interrupted.
A wave of disbelief seemed to wash over her body, making her legs weak, but she held on, for this was too important. “An allowance?” she nearly choked. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Haven’t you insulted me enough without this?” She simply couldn’t believe he was being this condescending. Did he really consider her to be this simple-minded?
“You’ve got that man out there living with you and with my son. How do I know he’s not going to use you? You appear to have given him the car, not to mention my clothes. What else will he get? I’m just being practical, Suzanne, something you don’t seem to be able to comprehend lately.”
She wondered if homicide would be justified in this situation. Reminding herself to stay strong, she willed her limbs to stop shaking and said, “I’m getting an attorney.”
Kevin nodded. “I think you should, and make sure you give him a copy of the prenup. It’s iron clad. I intend to give you child support and alimony until you get back on your feet, but I am not supporting that man… whoever he is.”
“That man,” she nearly hissed, “has more integrity than you could ever hope to possess if you lived to be a thousan
d. He happens to drive the car for me, because you see I’m not supposed to drive, something you would have known if you’d taken any interest in my pregnancy. I’m all alone and he’s helping me. Don’t you dare malign someone you don’t even know. It isn’t really him, and down deep you know it. It’s just you. You’ve always been selfish, spoiled, and scared that you’d never fit in with those you considered to be important. Rich people, Kevin. You always wanted to be more than you really were. Maybe I should feel sorry for you, since you’re so insecure about being you that you’ll use anyone or anything to secure this false image. You’re just a scared little farmer’s boy with an inferiority complex, and all your millions won’t make you a man. But I won’t allow you to use me any longer to boost your ego. You may have fooled your parents into spoiling you and maybe I just picked up where they left off, but be prepared, Kevin McDermott—the woman you left isn’t the one who will see you in court. I’ve changed in the last week, and this time you’re going to have to grow up and accept responsibility for your actions.”
She was shaking so badly that she just turned around and walked toward the driveway. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and her eyes were blurring, but she saw Charlie getting out of the car and walking around it to open her door.
“Aye, you deserve so much better than that… that fellow, Suzanne.” The tone in Charlie’s voice was filled with contempt. “I’d be happy to rough him up for you. You just say the word and I’ll take care of him but good,” he muttered, holding open the door.
Shaking her head, she tried to smile as she climbed up into the front seat. Thank heavens Matty was still sleeping soundly. There were small blessings, even amid ugliness. She wiped her eyes as she watched Charlie walking around the car to the driver’s side. When he was seated next to her, she reached over, touched his shoulder, and whispered, “Thanks for the offer, but he’d only sue you and you’d be in court along with me. No,” she said with a sigh, “I’m going to have to come up with something besides violence to balance the scales.”
“Such as?” he asked, turning over the engine and putting the car into gear.
“I don’t know,” she answered with a sniffle. “But I’ve got to contact an attorney tomorrow and see what my options are.”
“It’s not right, what he’s done. And I don’t like seeing you upset like that, Suzanne. That bas”—he stopped the obvious obscenity that was about to leave his lips and corrected his word—”man needs to be taught a lesson.”
She glanced over to him and almost smiled as she observed him grinding his back teeth. “I agree, but violence isn’t going to solve anything. It’s his arrogance that gets to me. He treats me as though…” She paused as the thought came into her head and exploded with clarity. “As though he has no respect for me. I guess he never did. I never wanted to create a problem, to rock the boat, so I tried to stay calm while he would rant and rave if things didn’t go his way. Everyone around him gave in to him, myself included. Why, I allowed him to treat me like that!”
“You did? I can’t imagine you allowing—”
“No, wait,” she interrupted. “I always thought his parents spoiled him and I was stuck with what they did, but I spoiled him too. I just took over where they left off. I allowed him to manipulate me so he always got everything he wanted. How can I blame him entirely when I allowed it to happen?” She felt as though a stillness was enveloping her. Something important was trying to come to the surface. She couldn’t figure it all out right now, but she knew she had been correct when she’d told Kevin that she had changed. “If he thinks I’m about to roll over and allow him to walk all over me, he’s in for a rude awakening.”
“There you go,” Charlie stated with a grin. “Now that’s my Suzie.”
“Really?” she asked, grinning in spite of everything that was happening around her. Why did she get this sudden jolt of happiness hearing him call her his Suzie? It was endearing, yet totally uncalled for, considering that she was technically a married woman and a brand-new mother. But she liked it.
“Sure. I remember you at the water when you went into labor. You certainly didn’t allow me to walk all over you.”
“I think you had to carry me,” she said with a laugh and a sniffle.
“I’m not talking about that. You took charge. You knew what had to be done and you did it.”
“I did, didn’t I?”
“You certainly did,” he said with a smile and a nod. “You were quite… spectacular. Why, I’m not known to cower before any man and… well, you had me marching, even when I didn’t know how or where I was going.”
Giggling at the memory of them trying to get to the hospital, she reached out and patted his upper arm. “Thanks for reminding me of that. Maybe that’s who I really am, under all those years of trying to please everyone. A woman of conviction.”
“Suzanne, you’re going to be just fine.”
“Well, Kevin did say that he would pay alimony and child support. I don’t know how long the alimony will last, but I can’t see myself going back to work with Matty just arriving.” They entered the highway and headed back toward her house. “Besides, he’s rich; he’s just selfish.”
“You worked?”
“Of course. I was a buyer for a major department store based in Philadelphia. I was pretty good, too, but then it’s shopping and I love shopping. But it’s also gambling on what’s going to hit the next season. I quit when the morning sickness became too draining. I was either sick, or falling asleep. We didn’t need my income, so Kevin and I agreed I should just quit working and prepare for Matty’s birth.”
“Did you like working?” he asked, as he turned off the highway and drove toward home.
“I did,” she answered, and then she really thought about it. “Well, I guess I liked the marketing end of it, too, since that was my major in college.” But it really wasn’t all that satisfying in the end, for her conscience had begun to bother her. She’d started to question her motives and the whole business of brainwashing women that their wardrobe choices one year wouldn’t be suitable the next. Why, she’d been as bad as Kevin, contributing to the lie that consumerism would somehow make one a better person, more acceptable by society. Where were these thoughts coming from, she wondered, seeing her whole life flash before her as some sort of illusion.
“You went to college, to a university?” Charlie asked, interrupting her mental meanderings.
“University of Pennsylvania. That’s where I met Kevin.”
“I’m impressed.”
“Surely you’re referring to the college.”
He laughed as he turned the car into her driveway. “Most definitely not to Kevin. That man… I can’t explain it, and it doesn’t just have to deal with his actions toward you, but there’s something about him. Something that makes me suspicious.”
She nodded. “He doesn’t have many male friends. Lots of acquaintances, mostly for business, but not many friends. Obviously, he prefers women. He took my best friend.”
Charlie shut off the car and turned to look at her in the fading sunlight. “That must have hurt you a great deal. I know what it’s like to lose a good friend, when they disappoint you and make you realize you never really knew them at all.”
She tried to smile and keep her emotions in check. “It hurts like hell, Charlie. And you sound as if you really do know.”
“Perhaps someday I’ll tell you my story. And I grant you, it isn’t any nicer than yours.”
She knew there was something troubling him, something that had nothing to do with his incredible leap through time. This was more personal, deeper, more painful. Respecting his privacy, she put her hand on the door release. “C’mon, we have frozen food in those bags in the back. Let’s get this stuff in the house before Matty wakes up. Hopefully, we can even put it away before the little tyrant starts demanding attention.”
Standing outside the car, Suzanne glanced into the backseat and once more her heart melted at the sight of her preciou
s son. Filled with love, she gently closed her door, as Charlie opened the back one to get Matty. “I think all babies are demanding,” she whispered. “I just didn’t anticipate how completely they take over your life. I guess that’s why they’re so adorable that they capture your heart. Why else would any sane person go through all this?”
Carefully lifting the infant seat and holding Matty, Charlie looked down to him and whispered back, “Because you love him, Suzie. He’s a part of you.”
Her heart seemed to heat up within her chest when she heard his words. How blessed was she that Charlie Garrity had appeared in her life. She couldn’t even imagine what she would be like without him now. Probably shut up alone with the baby and quietly having a nervous breakdown. Instead, she had help and friendship and… nope, she would not allow her mind to wander any farther than that. They were friends. Period.
“Here,” she said, holding out her hands. “I’ll take him.”
Shaking his head, Charlie motioned to the steps. “You go and unlock the door and get off your feet. You’ve done enough today.”
“Really, I’m okay,” she insisted.
“Suzanne, I must insist. You look tired, especially after that confrontation with Kevin. Look, I’ll bring Matty in and then unload the car. You should rest a bit because you know this little fella is going to wake up soon enough, so I suggest you take advantage of it now.”
Shrugging, she walked toward the steps and when she was on the porch and approaching the door she couldn’t help patting her hair into place. Did she look that frazzled? When she opened the door and walked into the foyer, she went to the small table with an oval mirror above it and dropped her keys. She also took a peek to check herself.
Her mascara had run black half circles under her eyes. No wonder she looked dreadful! Rubbing at the stains, she hurried to finish before Charlie came in the door. She turned on a lamp in the family room and whispered for Charlie to set Matty on the sofa.
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