by Barbara Ross
“Is that what you think?” she asked. “Do you think that’s why I’ve led a life without friends?”
I nodded to save my throat. And because I didn’t trust myself to speak.
“Your father was my best friend,” she said.
I already knew that.
“I was always shy. Always self-sufficient. I spent every summer of my life on an island, after all.” She smiled. “I had my books, my life, my wild Maine coast. Honestly, until your dad came along, I didn’t think I needed anyone else. I was wrong, of course. I didn’t know it, but I’d been waiting for him—and for you and Livvie.” She sat on the bed and took my hand. “Julia, I haven’t been isolated because I didn’t fit in Busman’s Harbor. I love this town. I love the Snugg sisters and Gus and the Smalls and all the employees at the clambake. The town has been supportive of me, always, but never more than when your father was ill. Livvie and Sonny did a lot, but they couldn’t do it all and run the business, too. People I barely recognized brought us food and took your dad for his treatments. I couldn’t have survived without them.” She let go of my hand and wiped her eye with a knuckle. “You may think I’ve been alone in my life, but that hasn’t come from the town. That comes from me. It’s who I am. Your father was gregarious enough for two people—or for ten. I would hate for you to think I’ve been lonely. It just hasn’t been so.”
I thought about the two of us on my first day of kindergarten. Her standing outside the circle of gossiping mothers. Me, standing next to her, staring at the running, screaming children. There was a lot of her in me. She’d found that one person she’d let in. Had I?
“Mom, how did you know Dad was the one?”
“Your dad loved me just as I was. Solitary. Self-sufficient. But he also made me want to be the best person I could be. His love made me reach into myself and find the parts of me that could be generous, caring, thoughtful and bring those forward. Go to those places first. I was certain of his love, but we also craved each other’s respect, and worked to earn it every day—or as often as we could.”
“Love,” I croaked. “Acceptance. Respect.”
“Yes,” Mom said. “And one more thing. Trust. I trusted your father completely. And it’s a good thing I could, because I put my whole life in his hands. Yours and Livvie’s, too. I knew everything he did, he did for us. I knew he would never, ever hurt us. Have you found a man you can trust, Julia?”
When I woke up the next time, the sun was low in the sky. I heard murmuring outside my door. One voice, the one asking questions, was indisputably masculine. My hopes rose. Chris.
And fell when Lieutenant Binder walked into the room. As he sat in the guest chair, he held up his hand, palm forward. “This isn’t an official interview. I come in peace. When you feel better, we’ll need you to make a statement about everything that happened last evening. For now, I just want to see how you are.”
“I’m fine. A little raspy, as you can hear. No solid food yet. But nothing’s broken. They’re observing me. Thank-you for asking.”
“Glad to hear it.”
A silence settled over us. The kind of pregnant pause that comes when both parties to a conversation have a lot to say, but are unsure how to start.
Though I’d seen Binder play the silence game like a master, he spoke first. “You could have been killed.”
I was astonished at the anger in his voice.
“You kept information from the police. I could charge you.”
“You kept information from me!” I was amazed at how angry I still was. “You never told me Cabe had been accused of murder before, and that’s why you locked in on him as a suspect. You didn’t tell me Richelle had been Stevie’s secretary and had testified against him, even though she was staying in my house. I endangered me? You endangered me.”
“Was Ms. Rose a danger to you? Do you think I would have left her in your house if I thought she was?” Binder paused to catch his breath. “We aren’t partners. I don’t owe you any explanations. But you shouldn’t have kept things from me. Aaron Crane was a danger to you. When did you figure out Zach was Aaron?”
“Not until the moment I looked into his eyes when I was passing out. I should have realized earlier. When he shaved off his beard, he looked so familiar. I thought it was because I’d seen him before, but that wasn’t it. He was like a darker version of Cabe. Shorter, but with the same thin build. I also should have figured out he was in the habit of taking Reggie’s truck. I think he tried to run me down once. Or he tried to run Cabe down and I was in the way.”
“Something else you never told me.”
“It happened weeks before all this. Honestly, I thought it was an accident. I didn’t make the connection. Cabe made it for me.”
“Then there’s the matter of the photos you collected from Phillip Johnson. You didn’t tell me about those, either. What do you say to that?”
I had nothing to say to that.
“It’s a good thing Crane confessed, despite the presence of an expensive lawyer his stepfather sent who all but ordered him not to talk,” Binder said.
“Did he say why he did it?”
“You know, to all outward appearances, he had an easy life. His mother remarried when he was two. His stepfather adopted him. He grew up in an affluent suburb. But his mother never recovered from Stevie Noyes’ deception and fall. She filled him full of stories about how wealthy he would have been. When she killed herself, Aaron looked for his birth father and eventually found him. But he also saw Cabe skulking around Noyes and got curious. He went through Cabe’s things in his boarding house and found Cabe’s birth certificate. Cabe was the son of the mistress who’d been part of ruining his mother’s life, the mistress who’d testified against Stevie. He decided to kill their father and frame Cabe.”
“He planted the camera in the playhouse.”
“It was easy enough to do. That’s why he shaved his beard and had his hair cut. He didn’t want to attract attention to himself. He paid his sixty bucks and went to the clambake.” Binder paused. “Of course, he’d been on the island before. He ‘borrowed’ boats left on the RV park’s waterfront and landed on your beach. That’s how he stole Cabe’s birth certificate. He had it on him when he was arrested.”
“And Cabe’s parents’ wedding rings and the photo of Cabe with them?”
“In Aaron’s pop-up camper. They’ll be returned to Cabe in due course.”
“I’m glad.”
“Aaron was with Reggie Swinburne when Bunnie Getts called to ask Reggie to come to the Tourism Bureau office,” Binder continued. “Reggie hung up and told ‘Zach’ you’d found a big clue about the murderer. Zach snuck over to the Tourism Bureau in the back of Reggie’s truck. He was sure you had the clue with you when you left. Of course, you did.”
“He hid in the backseat of my car.” I’d finally acclimated to being back in Busman’s Harbor. I’d left the car doors unlocked.
“He planned to steal the storage device from you, by force if necessary, before you reached the station house parking lot. Once you’d entered the crowded streets of the harbor, there were red lights and stop signs where he might have confronted you. But when he realized when you were still out on the highway and that Bunnie and Reggie had seen him, he struck. He didn’t care if killing you meant he would also die. He imagined you, him, and the evidence going up in a blaze of glory, which would still leave Cabe on the hook for Stevie’s murder.”
“What I don’t get is why he hung around after he murdered Stevie. He’d already disappeared once in his life. He was skilled at it.”
“The killing wasn’t over with Noyes. Part of the reason he stayed was to make sure Cabe got the blame. If you hadn’t discovered the camera, I’m sure he would have found a way to call it to our attention. But the other reason was your friend Richelle. Aaron had figured out who she really was and knew she was staying at your house. He planned to kill her next.”
I shuddered, remembering the shadowy figure I’d seen in fro
nt of the house on the first night Richelle stayed with us. The person I’d thought was Cabe.
“Aaron suffered such terrible losses,” I said. “The absence of his father, the suicide of his mother. I’m shocked by what he did, but I’m not surprised he was so angry. To me, Cabe is the remarkable one. His life was such a struggle, yet he remained so optimistic.”
“That’s one thing you learn for sure in this job,” Binder said. “There is absolutely no accounting for human nature.”
Bunnie and Reggie came in later in the evening.
“You saved my life,” I croaked. “Thank you.”
“When you pulled out of your parking space, I was up on Reggie’s running board. I could see into your backseat. I wouldn’t have noticed Zach, except that he moved and I recognized his usual way of dressing exactly like Reggie. When I told Reggie what I’d seen, he put two and two together.”
“When Bunnie told me he was hiding in the backseat of your car, the only thing I could think was that he wanted to hurt you. I’m sorry, Julia. I did my best for that boy, but he was a lost soul.”
“How could you have known? I’m sorry, too. I thought it was you in the photos. I should have realized Zach was in the habit of borrowing your truck. He tried to run Cabe and me down with it, weeks ago.”
“I sleep with earplugs in because of the Parkers, and I always leave my keys in my truck. Everybody in Camp Glooscap does. I can’t blame you for thinking I was the killer when you saw my truck in the photos. I’m just glad you’re alive.”
“Thanks to you and Bunnie.”
“She’s something, isn’t she?”
On their way out, Bunnie came over to the bed and took my hand. “Come visit when you’re up and around?”
I promised I would.
Chapter 42
The next morning, I felt better. The doctor came in early and assured me my voice would come back completely once the swelling went down in my throat. She said I could go home in the late afternoon if nothing else turned up.
“You probably don’t see that many stranglings in Busman’s Harbor,” I croaked.
“I wish that were true,” she said. “Throttling is the most common form of domestic abuse.”
A physical therapist insisted I practice using my crutches. I went up and down the corridor outside my room so many times, I wore myself out. I ate a lunch of soft, unappetizing foods and fell asleep.
I awoke to voices in my room. One, high and feminine, the other low and rumbling. My eyes flew open. Even before I saw him, I knew from the voice it wasn’t Chris. But I hoped in spite of my own senses it would be.
Richelle sat in the guest chair. Cabe perched on the arm beside her.
“Cabe.”
“They let me go. Thanks to you. They had to. That other guy”—Cabe paused, before he said the rest—“my half-brother, confessed to everything.”
“I’ve told Cabe everything, too,” Richelle said.
“We’ve been talking nonstop since she picked me up at the jail.”
Richelle rested her hand on his forearm. He sat back, relaxed. I had never seen either of them looking so unburdened.
Cabe was a good kid. I had said it, Chris had said it, Sonny had insisted on it over and over. He was a good kid despite all that had happened to him. Lilia and Dave Stone had given that boy enough love in his first twelve years to carry him through.
Richelle had done the right thing by giving him up. And she’d done the right thing by finding him again.
When Richelle and Cabe left, I waited, but Chris never came. After my mother’s talk about love and trust, about acceptance and support, I spent a lot of time thinking about Chris and me. He had told me he loved me. He’d put his beating heart in my hands. He wanted to know, simply, declaratively, and in the moment, if I loved him, too.
I owed him an answer.
What held me back? Was it my innate snobbishness as Livvie had charged? Did I think I was “too good” for Chris? I couldn’t imagine that was true.
Was it my inability to grab hold of my own life, as Vee Snuggs had said? Was I unable to tell Chris I loved him because that caused me to think about the future and where we would live and what I would do? Chris wasn’t asking me for a commitment about the future. He was asking me how I felt right now. I understood that.
No, it was the trust part that my mother had talked about. Could I trust Chris?
Where did he go when he disappeared and what was he doing? I didn’t think he was off with another woman. Despite his history, I was absolutely secure in his love and—I was surprised to find this as I examined it—his fidelity.
Richelle had fallen in love with a criminal and look what it had done to her life. But she’d known who he was and fallen anyway. Despite my little transgressions of the last few days, I was the straight-and-narrowest person I knew. I had to ask myself, could Chris be doing something terribly wrong? And could I still love him if he was?
Just asking myself the question made me laugh. How absurd I was being! Chris was the most decent person I knew. He, and I was sure of this down to the core of my being, would never, ever do anything that would deliberately harm another human being. And he would never compromise himself, or me. What in the world was I so worried about?
He’d asked me to trust him and I found, when I poked into the very corners of my soul, that I did. I could always trust Chris to be Chris.
My mother picked me up at the hospital. The attendant wheeled me to the curb, which was ridiculous. I was banged up and sore, but otherwise fine.
When I got home, I unfolded myself from the car and pulled my crutches from the backseat. “I’m going for a walk.”
“Dear, do you really think—?”
“You heard the nurse. ‘Discharged with no restrictions. ’”
My mother sighed. She could see there was no point in arguing. I started down the driveway, using the crutches the way I’d practiced. By the time I reached the street I was exhausted. Vee Snuggs stood on her porch. I imagined her silently cheering me on.
I followed the sidewalk over the hill until it ran out in the back harbor. I hobbled past the shipyard, past Gus’s to the marina, rehearsing in my head what I planned to say. “Yes, Chris, I love you. I’m sorry I hurt you by not being able to say it until now. I was worried about too many irrelevant things. I let them get in the way of my feelings.”
I climbed onto the dock and walked toward the Dark Lady’s slip. Painful as it was to move, I sped up. I had to talk to Chris. Now.
The Dark Lady’s slip was empty.
I collapsed onto a bench, unable to walk another step. “I love you,” I said to the square of empty sea. “Come back to me.”
Recipes
Jacqueline’s Lobster Deviled Eggs
Julia’s mother Jacqueline is a terrible cook, and like a lot of bad cooks, she’s mastered one specialty, which she relies on whenever she’s asked to bring something to a party. In her case, it’s these scrumptious lobster deviled eggs. (The secret’s in the horseradish and smoked paprika.)
8 eggs
3 Tablespoons mayonnaise
1 Tablespoon prepared horseradish, drained
1 teaspoon cider vinegar
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
8 ounces cooked lobster meat, chopped.
smoked paprika
snipped chives
Place eggs in saucepan covered with water. Bring to boil and remove from heat. Rest in water for 10 minutes. Rinse with cold water. Add ice and allow them to cool. Peel eggs and slice in half lengthwise. Scoop yolks into bowl. Add mayonnaise, horseradish, vinegar, and mustard and mash together. Gently fold in lobster meat. Spoon back into the egg white halves. Garnish with paprika and chives. Chill before serving. Serves 4-6.
Note: These are also excellent without the lobster meat.
Livvie’s Lobster Salad
Livvie’s the real cook in the Snowden family, and as you might guess, her lobster salad is a specialty. Too bad Julia doesn’t accompany he
r family to the picnic and concert in Waterfront Park, because this salad is terrific. The flavor is tremendous and the scallions and celery add a great crunch.
1 pound lobster meat
juice from ½ lemon
2 stalks celery, diced
2-3 scallions, white parts only, thinly sliced
2-3 Tablespoons mayonnaise
salt and pepper to taste
Chop lobster meat into bite-sized pieces and put in bowl. Toss with lemon juice. Add celery, scallions, and just enough mayonnaise to bind together. Taste, and add seasonings. Serve on plate or in buttered, toasted, top-sliced hot dog rolls.
Livvie’s Potato Salad
Livvie made this potato salad for the Snowden family picnic before the fireworks at Waterfront Park. In reality, the recipe comes from one of the author’s most precious possessions, a handwritten book of recipes from her grandmother. The vinegar and sugar provide its distinct sweet and sour taste.
4 large potatoes cooked, skins on
2 Tablespoons apple cider vinegar
1 large onion, grated
mayonnaise
sugar
salt
pepper
Boil potatoes until they are easily pierced with a fork. Peel and cut into rounds. Add onion. Stir in mayonnaise (enough to coat). Add vinegar. Add sugar, salt, and pepper to taste. Better if made a day ahead.
Vee’s Blueberry Pancakes
At the Rotary breakfasts, Viola Snuggs cooks up blueberry pancakes for a crowd. This delicious recipe has been adapted for home use.
2 cups cake flour
¼ cup sugar
4 teaspoons baking powder
2 cups milk
1 egg, lightly beaten
4 Tablespoons melted butter
2 cups Maine wild blueberries, fresh or frozen.