by Tania Sparks
“Yeah, that was incredible Ash, we’ll have to order in room service dessert more often.” I laugh.
We take the sheets off the bed and throw them into the bathtub. That’ll be an interesting one for the cleaning staff! After we both jump in the shower and clean off we snuggle up on the bed under the blankets and drift off to sleep.
~~~
The next morning I sadly say goodbye to a very sulky Ash. I pick up my rental car and drive up to New York. As I’m driving I start to wonder what the hell I’m doing. I’ve only been gone for half an hour and I already miss him like mad.
Chapter 23
Once I arrive at the hotel in New York I check in with the team and get working on making the appropriate arrangements for the conference. I normally really enjoy this aspect of my job but at the moment it all just seems a bit monotonous and all I can think about is Ash.
The next couple of days are pretty much the same. I feel like I’m just going through the motions and I’m not getting that much enjoyment from it at all. I struggle through organising the conference, scheduling staff and checking that all the arrangements are perfect. For the first time ever in my working life, I would rather be doing something else.
~~~
It’s now evening and I’m sitting in my hotel room, alone and bored. I’m thinking about what Ash might be doing and how much more fun it would be if I was with him. My thoughts make me come to a realisation, I really don’t want to be here, I’d rather be with Ash.
I need to talk to someone about what I’m feeling but I know that if I talk to Ash he’ll just convince me to leave and come back to him. I need someone with a bit more of an unbiased opinion, so I call Trixie to talk through with her what I’m thinking.
I pick up the phone and dial her mobile, “Hey Trixie”.
“Hey Eve, is everything alright, it’s a bit late to be calling, I hope nothing’s wrong?”
“No nothing’s wrong Trix, I just needed someone to talk to.”
“Okay, talk away Eve, I’m all ears.”
“Well, you know how I told you that Ash wasn’t too happy about me leaving him to come up to New York for this conference.”
“Yeah.” She agrees tentatively.
“And you know more than anybody how I really love my job.”
“Yeah.” She agrees again.
“Well, I’ve been up in New York for a few days now organising this conference. It’s great, but for some reason my heart’s not in it. I just really want to be with Ash. What should I do Trix?”
“Eve, I know how much you love your job, and you’re really good at it. But honestly, I’ve seen you and Ash together and I’ve never seen two people who are more right for each other. You should do whatever you can to make it work Eve, and if that means leaving your job and going to Ash, that’s what you should do. You don’t need the money, you have plenty of savings, especially with that money that your Great Aunt left you a couple of years back. If you would rather be with Ash than working, you should take a leap of faith and do it.” She pauses and I can almost hear her smiling down the phone line, “You want to know what you should do? You should go to him Eve.”
I’m grinning wildly. I knew that’s what I wanted to do, I just needed to hear someone else tell me that I was making the right decision. “Thank you Trixie, I think Ash and I have a real future together. I’ve never felt so alive as when I’m with him. It feels right Trix. We can make it work. I’m going to go tonight. The conference is basically all organised. I’m sure they won’t mind if I leave a day early.”
“You go for it Eve, I’m happy for you.”
“Hey Trix, don’t tell Nikki though, I want to surprise Ash.”
“No problem Eve. Good luck!” She laughs.
“Thanks Trix, bye.”
“Bye Eve.”
~~~
I’ve told the hotel that I plan on leaving early and they had no problem with it at all. I’ve picked up a rental car and I’m heading to New Jersey. It’s only about one and a half hours drive, so I’ll be there to surprise Ash by about midnight. They should be well finished their show by then and back to the hotel room. Ash has told me there was no after-party planned tonight.
I feel excited and gratified that I’ve taken the plunge and have made the decision to spend more time with Ash. The last couple of days I’ve missed him so much. I love my job, but I love Ash more. Ever since we’ve reconnected I’ve felt more alive and more complete than I have done for years. I know I’m doing the right thing and I’m enthusiastic for the future.
After a drive that seems to take much longer than the time it actually took, I finally pull up to the hotel entrance and hand over the keys to the valet. I make my way over to the front counter and explain to the staff member that I’m here to see Ash Miller. He looks at me sideways shaking his head disbelievingly. I can see that he doesn’t trust me, they must get groupies asking for the band all the time.
“Is he expecting you Miss?” He squints his eyes sceptically at me.
“Well no, not exactly, it’s a surprise.” I try to explain.
“Ah…I see. Aren’t you a little old for stalking rock stars?”
I can’t believe this. I hadn’t even considered that I might have difficulty getting up to Ash’s room. I look at his name badge then back up to his smirking face. I snipe back at him, “No David, I’m not too old and I’m not some random groupie, I’m his god-damned girlfriend!”
“Of course you are.” He’s grinning like an idiot.
“Oh for god’s sake!” I exasperatedly huff, “Why don’t you just phone him and tell him that Eve Hanson’s here to see him.”
“Sorry Miss, I can’t do that, otherwise I’d be phoning them every five minutes whenever one of their ‘girlfriends’ tries to get me to call them.” He air quotes the word girlfriends with a smarmy look on his face. This guy’s not being very professional and he’s pissing me off.
“I’ll just call him on his mobile and let him know I’m down here then.” I step a few feet away from the counter and take out my phone from my bag. I dial Ash’s mobile number but it goes straight to voicemail. I angrily press the ‘end call’ button and shove my phone back in my purse. What the hell am I going to do now? I’m sure I can feel steam coming out of my ears and my face is burning red in anger.
Although my exchange with David has been extremely unpleasant, he finally takes pity on me and offers, “Look love, I can’t call the band to tell them you’re here, but I do know that some of their roadies are over in the bar.” He points towards the crowded bar across the lobby. “Why don’t you go over there, you might at least get to hang out with the roadies, I know it’s not the band, but it has to be better than nothing.” He shrugs his shoulders.
I huff in frustration. It’s not as if I’m looking to hook-up with any old rock star or roadie. I stomp across the lobby to the noisy bar. Maybe I might be able to find someone that recognises me. The bar is crowded and music is pumping. Wondering through I vaguely recognise one or two of the roadies, but I really don’t know any of them well enough for them to recognise me.
Then I hear a deep booming voice reverberating towards me, “Eve, what the hell are you doing here?” It’s Pete, the limo driver come security guard. Thank god! I explain the situation to him. “Don’t worry Eve, we’ll get it sorted, come with me, I’ll explain to the guy at the front desk who you are and we’ll get you some keys. Ash will definitely be thrilled to see you. He’s been dragging his sorry ass around mopping for the past few days.”
Pete explains to a very embarrassed David that I am in fact Ash’s girlfriend. David insists on calling up to the suite anyway to announce my pending arrival, apparently it’s hotel policy.
David holds out the keys. I think it’s odd that Ash doesn’t say he’ll come down to meet me. I take the keys from him and say, “Did he just say to come up?”
David replies, “A lady called Beth answered and said just to go up.”
My shackles raise at
the mention of Beth’s name. Why would she be in Ash’s room at past midnight? And why was she answering his phone?
I say thanks to Pete who heads back to the bar. I get in the elevator and ride up to the penthouse suite. I’m slightly wound up from the whole ordeal of trying to get the keys and something about Beth answering the phone doesn’t sit well with me. I can feel a ball of tension sitting heavy in my stomach. I’m probably just being paranoid because I don’t like her, but she is their tour manager and they’re probably just discussing business after tonight’s show. The elevator reaches the correct floor and I get out and make my way to the penthouse suite. I swipe my key access through the reader and push the door open.
As I glance inside my blood runs cold and my knees almost buckle beneath me. I drop my handbag, let go of the handle on my suitcase and grab onto the door frame to hold myself steady. My breath has caught in my lungs as I try to make sense of what I’m seeing.
Ash is sprawled across the couch. Beth is on top of him. She’s still wearing her jeans but she’s topless. She’s straddling his knees while fumbling to undo his jeans. Ash’s shirt is ripped open. Beth looks straight at me and smirks, “I told you sweetie, he always comes back to me.”
Ash’s gaze slowly moves across the room towards me. He looks completely out-of-it. His eyes are glazed and he can barely focus. He’s more drunk than I’ve ever seen him. I’m standing frozen in shock. My heart is beating so fast that it feels like it’s going to explode out of my chest. After what seems like long minutes his eyes finally focus on mine. A small flicker of recognition skims across his face. He looks confused for a second and then quickly jumps up, knocking Beth to the floor.
“Angel, what are you doing here?” He asks excitedly, stumbling clumsily towards me. He tries to hug me but I roughly push him away and he staggers backwards a few steps, a look of complete bewilderment on his face.
Anger explodes through me and I scream, “What am I doing here Ash! What the fuck is she doing here?!”
He looks at me totally perplexed, “What is who doing here?” he slurs.
“Beth! What the fuck is Beth doing here and why the hell are you both half naked with her on top of you!” My voice sounds high pitched and hysterical. Blood is rushing in my ears and all I can see is red. It’s then that I notice he’s more than just drunk, he’s definitely stoned, he’s been taking drugs. What the hell!
Ash takes a step towards me and leans in close. His eyebrows farrow, “Angel, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I’m not blind or stupid Ash. I know what I saw, you bastard.” I slap him hard across his face leaving bright red finger marks.
Ash stands motionless, his hand on his cheek staring at me disbelievingly. I can’t tell if he’s angry with me for hitting him or just plain confused.
I feel a firm grasp on my shoulder from behind and turn around to see Nikki. “Eve, what are you doing here? and what the fuck’s all the screaming about?”
“What am I doing here!” I screech. “I thought it would be nice to surprise Ash by finishing my contract early and driving down to see him. Well I guess the surprise was on me. I walk in and the asshole is stoned as shit with Beth on top of him. Both of them half naked and about to … I don’t know … about to fuck! That’s what all the bloody screaming’s about Nikki!”
Nikki frowns, “You must be mistaken Eve.”
I point frantically over toward Beth who’s standing there smirking at the spectacle playing right into her hands.
Nikki looks past me and sees Beth with no top on and Ash with his jeans partly undone, his shirt ripped open. “Beth, what the fuck are you up to?” he asks.
Beth picks up her top and slips it on casually, all the time keeping a smug grin plastered on her face.
Cody, Hansen and Scott all push past me to get into the room.
Scott takes charge of the situation. “Okay everyone, shut the hell up. It seems we have a bit of a situation here. Nikki suspects that Ash’s been using again.”
Ash slurs, “I’m not fucking using, what the hell are you talking about? You’ve all gone fucking mad.” He looks totally confused and obviously has no idea what’s going on around him.
Scott remains calm. “Ash, you’re as high as a kite. Why don’t you just tell us what you took. We’re going to test you anyway, so you may as well come clean so we know what we’re dealing with here.”
Ash blasts, “There’s no need for a fucking intervention you stupid mother-fuckers. I took nothing!” His voice is raised but he’s still slurring and wobbling on his feet.
I’m standing there in shock. I’m absolutely floored that Ash was going to cheat on me with Beth, but I’m in complete astonishment about what’s now unfolding in front of me. I step over to Hansen and ask him, “What’s going on Hansen?”
Hansen looks at me with pity. “Eve, Ash’s a recovering drug addict. Fuck, we all are. But eight months ago we all went to rehab and since then every single one of us has been clean. We all took a pact, we promised that we’d look out for each other. We always carry drug testing kits and if any of us suspects anyone one of us are using, we test them. That way we can get the help needed before they completely relapse. No-one has ever been suspected of using again...that is until now.” He glances back towards Ash with disappointment reflected across his face.
“How did I not know this?” I whisper.
Hansen answers, “Ash wanted to tell you Eve, but he didn’t want to scare you off. He had every intention of letting you know about his previous problem with drugs. He was just waiting for the right time. I have no idea why he’s started using again. Yeah, he seemed a bit down the last few days with you gone, but I would never have thought he’d resort to using again. And I don’t know what the mother-fucker’s thinking hooking up with Beth. Nothing’s making sense.”
I focus my attention back onto the heated discussion taking place between Scott and Ash. Scott’s glaring angrily at Ash and is waving his arms wildly at him, “Just tell us what the fuck you took man. You took something, what was it?”
“I took nothing Scott!” Ash is standing his ground and is glaring back at Scott defiantly.
“Don’t bloody lie to us Ash!”
Ash realises that his adamant denials are not getting him anywhere so he changes his tactic and tries to reason. Exasperatedly he says, “Nikki’s been here with me the whole night, up until a few minutes ago. I’ve been drinking the same fucking beers as him. The only god-damned thing I took was some Tylenol about half an hour ago. Beth gave it to me for my ankle that’s been giving me shit. I hurt it jumping off that bloody amp in tonight’s show.”
All eyes dart accusingly to Beth.
“What?” she says batting her eyelids but looking completely guilty.
“What the fuck did you give him Beth?” Scott growls.
She hesitates and then answers shamelessly, “Vicodin.”
“Jesus Christ Beth. He’s been clean for eight fucking months. He’s an addict, you can’t give him that shit, especially not Vicodin you dumb-ass. You know that’s the one thing he had the most difficulty quitting.”
“He just needed to loosen up a bit. He was so uptight and mopping around. I did it to help him. I knew I’d never get him to take some coke. So I gave him some Vicodin, he thought they were Tylenol.” She’s whingeing and doesn’t sound the least bit apologetic.
Nikki stomps across the room so he’s right in her face. “So that’s why you’re half-naked. You drugged him and tried to fuck him while he’s practically unconscious, you bloody sicko.”
She glances to me slyly then turning back to Nikki she screeches, “He wanted to fuck, I’m not going to tell him no, we fuck all the time!” She grins smugly shrugging her shoulders.
Scott re-joins the argument. “Just get the hell out of here Beth. We don’t want to have to look at your ugly fucking face any more.” He points towards the door indicating for her to leave. She leans down, picks up her bra and sulks off out the door
without another word, making sure that she sneers smugly at me as she pushes her way past.
Tears are running freely down my face and I’m sobbing uncontrollably. If I hadn’t walked in when I did, Ash and Beth would have…oh my god! And just in case that wasn’t enough to completely destroy me, I find out he’s a drug addict! After the disaster Trixie and I experienced with drugs a few years ago, I can’t cope with this, it’s just too much.
A million questions and doubts are darting around in my head. Do I really know him at all? Did we really have something special or have I just been foolishly dazzled by the chance to have him back in my life again? Have I been blind to the truth?
Jesus, I had idiotically decided to put my whole life on hold because I wanted to be with him. I took a leap of faith and he wasn’t there to catch me. He’s broken my heart – again! The first time when Ash left me it almost killed me. I think this time his betrayal might just finish me off. I’m trembling uncontrollably and I feel like I’m about to fall apart. Trepidation and anxiety are racking every inch of my body.
I need to get out of here before I collapse in a heap of misery. I pick up my handbag, turn around and walk out of the suite. I stride to the elevator as quickly as I can. I can hear Ash trying to call me back. I turn around to see him attempting to stumble down the corridor to get to me, but he’s so out-of-it, he can barely walk. I get into the elevator and press the button for the lobby. The doors close and I slouch down onto the ground like a lifeless rag doll, sobbing uncontrollably.
When the elevator eventually reaches the ground level I pull myself up off the floor using the handrail. I make my way across the lobby to the exit doors. I look an absolute mess, my face is stained with tears, smudged make-up is smeared down my cheeks. I’m sobbing inconsolably and can’t seem to catch my breath. The valet hasn’t taken my car to the car park yet, it’s still parked at the hotel entrance. I pass over my ticket and he holds out my keys to me. The valet cautiously smiles at me with a concerned look, “You okay Miss?”