Hushed

by Gina Robinson

I sat by myself in my apartment, drinking and playing video games alone in the dark. Zach and Dakota had tried to get me to go out with them. I blew them off.

  My phone sat next to me on the sofa. I was getting the crap beat out of me in my game. My head wasn't in it. All I wanted to do was blow things up.

  My phone buzzed. I glanced at it. A message from Ian.

  My hand stilled on the video game controller. My eyes blurred. My mouth went dry. I had to blink twice before I could read it.

  It's official. Welcome to the family, bro. You can see the results for yourself here.

  There was a link.

  I dropped the controller and watched my character be blown into smithereens. Being blown apart was exactly how I felt in real life, too.

  It wasn't as if I were surprised. It was just that damn hope springs eternal bullshit. Like I'd hoped I would win life's lottery and all this coincidence would be simply that, coincidence.

  Since Monday, I'd gone over every possible scenario. I didn't see a way out of this. All I wanted was to go back to Maddie and me. Two people from completely separate families with no history who fell madly in love.

  I tried, but I couldn't get her out of my system. She was in my dreams. And worse, in my nightmares. Dying and I couldn't save her. Condemning me for turning her away.

  Another text came in from Ian.

  So you know, I want to meet my dad. Do you want to give him the cigar or should I?

  I dropped the phone onto the cushion, stood, and started pacing and swearing.

  Meet my dad! My dad.

  What did I tell Ian? What did I tell Dad? How did I tell him?

  Okay, so here's the deal, Dad. You have another son. And I've been sleeping with his sister.

  "Shit!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I kicked the sofa.

  My phone buzzed again. I grabbed it, ready to text the bastard back to leave me the fuck alone.

  I stopped short when I saw it was from Maddie.

  By now Ian's shared the DNA results with you. You're brothers, just as I suspected, and feared, from the beginning. It changes nothing for me. I love you, regardless. And always will.

  And jealous as I am, I'm willing to share my brother with you.

  I stopped short and took a deep breath. I hadn't bothered to think she would be jealous of her brother having another sibling. But I understood it. I'd never had to share Dad before, either. But her generosity of spirit killed me.

  I kept reading.

  Ian is the best brother in the world. You don't know how lucky you are to have him. To have accidentally found him through me. If nothing else, our relationship has given you that gift. The gift of a lost brother is no small thing. Don't throw it away.

  Let Ian into your world. Introduce him to your dad. Make him part of your family. You won't be sorry. He'll be the older brother you've always wanted. Better than you even imagined.

  I'll learn to share him. Even if you and me are no longer you and me. But just you. And just me.

  Think it over. We now know for certain you and Ian are brothers. But, seriously, when did I know? When did the evidence become overwhelming?

  Your dad told us the story of how he rescued my mom from being blown up on the fifth floor of her friend's dorm. And I knew then for sure. As sure as I could be without scientific evidence, like the DNA test we have now.

  Rick's story was the last piece I needed to convince me this hadn't all been a bad coincidence or that I was imagining things. The look in his eyes. He loved Mom. I really think he did.

  And knowing Mom the way I do, there was no way she could have resisted your dad. Not after he played hero to her like that. Not after seeing how charming he is. Just like there is no way I can resist you.

  I don't want to end up broken like Mom. Settling for loyalty and friendship when I could get that and passion and love.

  Maybe it is in our genes to love each other. Maybe your dad and my mom messed up their shot together. We'll have to ask them how. But let's not let the sins, mistakes, whatever you want to call them, of the past ruin what we have.

  If they hadn't broken up, there would be no you and no me and no you and me. Let's be you and me again. I'll be waiting. Whenever you're ready.

  I didn't cry easily, but tears welled in my eyes. I got it. I saw now how the evidence had crept up on her, slowly building toward a conclusion she didn't want to face. Just like I was feeling now, staring at the results of that DNA test. I wished she had shared her suspicions with me. But I couldn't blame her for the course of action she took.

  Because when I dug deep, I realized I'd reacted exactly how she'd feared. That I was blowing us apart.

  My mouth was dry. I needed another beer. I went to the fridge and threw open the door. All that anniversary wine I'd stashed in our fridge stared me in the face. Sometimes fate gives you a sign. This was mine.

  Shit, I loved her. I could lose her. Or we could face this together. I grabbed one of the bottles of wine and scooped my keys off the counter, realizing at the last second that our anniversary was tomorrow.

  I just hoped she'd take me back.

  Chapter 20

  Maddie

  I was upstairs in my room, ostensibly watching a movie. In reality, I was thinking. I'd been doing nothing but thinking since Ian dropped me off earlier. Olivia was out on a date. A first date with some guy she met while studying in the SUB.

  She was happy enough, but not particularly ecstatic about the guy. Still, her dating life was a dream compared to mine.

  I hadn't expected Seth to respond to my text. But his lack of response still depressed me. Everything depressed me. Just when I thought I couldn't sink any lower, I did.

  Unless Seth refused to read his texts from Ian and me, he knew Ian was his brother. My heart broke for him and us. I'd had longer to process it. And I still wasn't dealing really well with it. How long would it take him? Would there still be any us left by then?

  Someone pounded on our front door. I almost jumped out of my skin. I froze. I wasn't expecting anyone, and this time of night it was as likely to be a lost drunk at our door as anyone. The pounding didn't stop.

  I grabbed my keychain with my pepper spray. "Coming!" I raced down the stairs and opened the door as far as the chain on it would allow, with my pepper spray at the ready.

  Seth stood in the circle of light on our porch, holding a red rose and a bottle of wine. He looked so totally hot and apologetic.

  He'd shaved off the gruff. His beanie was tucked back on his head. And my knees almost gave out.

  He glanced at the pepper spray pointed at him. "Do you always greet guests with pepper spray? I know I deserve it, but can I talk first?"

  My gaze bounced from his face to the flower and wine. "Just a sec." I dropped the pepper spray to my side, pushed the door in, removed the security chain, and opened the door for him. "I thought you were a drunk."

  "You're not far off."

  When he spoke, I caught the scent of beer on his breath. But the expression in his eyes was sober.

  "What are you doing here?" I expected him to say he got my text and start explaining. Part of me wanted to punish him for being such a douche and pushing me away. For not trusting or believing me. Part of me wanted to throw myself into his arms.

  He held the rose out to me. "Have you forgotten? It's our anniversary. Or it will be in less than an hour."

  Every piece of me shattered then. I was such an emotionally fragile wreck. My hand shook as I took the rose from him. I had forgotten. Or maybe I'd tried not to remember.

  He held up the wine. "This is my least favorite, the first one you picked. Remember?"

  I took a deep breath and tried not to remember the romantic sweetness of that day, afraid I would break. "We ended at your dad's."

  It was my subtle way of getting the topic between us out in the open.

  "I planned that day so the wineries and the wines they made would get better and better. Like our life is supposed to be…together." His Adam'
s apple bobbed. "Like it will be, if you let me in. Please, Maddie."

  I stepped aside and let him into my apartment, though I knew he meant back into his life, not my apartment.

  He closed the door behind him.

  "Olivia's out. We can…talk freely."

  His eyes were dark and wide, full of hope and longing. He held the rose out to me again. "Please, Maddie, please forgive me. I was such a douche. I can't live without you. I tried, damn it, I tried. You're in my blood and I can't get you out."

  I took the rose from him and bit my lip. "There's no blood between us, Seth."

  He set the wine on the kitchen counter and grabbed me by both arms. "That's not what I meant and you know it. I don't care about that shit, Maddie. I read all of your texts and you made me see—I don't want to end up like Dad and your mom. I won't repeat their mistakes. I want you. I need you. And the rest of the world can all go to hell." His voice shook. "Please, Maddie, take me back." He squeezed my arms.

  I looked him in the eye, trying to judge how genuine he was. Yes, he wanted me back. But did he really want everything that came with me? The upheaval to his life and family? A new family?

  "You'll give Ian a chance? Get to know him. Let him be your brother?" My voice was surprisingly steady and calm. It was all or nothing now. And that's what I wanted. I couldn't live with a partial chance at happiness.

  Seth nodded. "Yes. If that's what you want."

  "I want you to want it, too." I had to make him understand. Ian and I were a package deal. You didn't get one without the other. Not anymore.

  He took a deep breath. "Yes, I want it, too. It's the only way, right? You two are inseparable."

  He understood! I blinked back tears. I needed another concession. "You'll introduce him to your dad? They should have a relationship, too."

  He looked miserable and horribly hopeful at the same time. He nodded. "You'll have to introduce me to your mom. I don't want to be secret anymore."

  He had nerve. But he was right.

  I nodded. "Yes."

  "You forgive me?"

  The look in his eyes almost killed me. I shook loose from his grip and threw myself into his arms.

  He pulled me to him. The next thing I knew, his lips were on mine, right where they belonged. When he kissed me, the rest of the world disappeared and everything felt right.

  As his tongue danced with mine, he tasted like beer, but way more intoxicating. If I had been weak in the knees before, now I was absolutely limp. If I hadn't been leaning into him and wrapped in his arms, I would have collapsed in my joy. Fell to my knees and cried tears of happiness.

  As he pressed against me, I felt him in his jeans, long and hard and insistent as he pressed it against me. I tingled all the way to my toes. I felt tight and hot and full of want.

  Like every part of me needed release. And I needed to feel him inside me and celebrate the oneness of us. I pulled away from him, took his hand, and pulled him up the stairs.

  "Where are we going?" His voice was low and sultry, as if he knew, but couldn't believe his good luck.

  I simply smiled at him and led him to my room. Inside, I closed the door and pulled him onto the bed.

  He fell on top of me and ground into the smoldering heat of my crotch, simulating sex until my breath caught. I was so wet.

  I pulled his beanie off and tossed it. Ran my fingers through his hair and lightly stroked the back of his neck the way he liked.

  "I missed you," I whispered.

  "How much?"

  I reached between us and untied my sweats. Took his hand and guided it until his fingers slid into my pants, beneath my panties to the wet heat between my legs.

  I gasped when he touched me and made the gentle circles between my legs, bringing me to the edge. I clutched his hand to stop him. "I don't want to come without you."

  He withdrew his hand and pulled off his shirt, revealing the hard planes of his chest. And the absolutely seductive curves of his biceps.

  I sat up enough to lick his nipples and caress his biceps, wanting to hold on to them forever. "Get out of your jeans."

  He grinned and rolled off me just enough to obey my orders, hurriedly shedding his shoes, jeans, and underwear.

  I was dressed in my comfy sweatpants, T-shirt, and sweatshirt. I slid out of them while he got undressed.

  There was a second, just an instant in time, where we studied each other. Looking at each other with that wonder in our eyes. I couldn't believe he was mine. He'd come back to me. He was willing to fight for me and with me against fate and family. And all the crap life could throw at us. What was sexier than that?

  We were both breathing hard, even though the exertion hadn't begun. He reached out, almost tentatively, and cupped my breast as he rolled back on top of me.

  I positioned myself beneath him with his dick pointing into my opening. I gasped again as it brushed against me. I was swollen and ready for him, afraid I would come without him anyway.

  He braced himself above me and looked into my eyes. "I love you, Maddie."

  "I love you—"

  He covered my mouth with his kiss. And speared into me as I moaned into his mouth.

  He pounded into me. I loved him so much. The intimacy as I rocked with him was overpowering. The tightness and the need built with every powerful thrust.

  I love you, I thought with each thrust. I'll love you forever.

  The bed creaked. We pounded it with the force of all our pent-up emotions and frustrations. I felt a scream build in my throat as the tightness wound me up. I squeezed him, hard.

  His breath caught. "You're killing me, Mads."

  I squeezed him harder, inside and out. Ignoring him. Making him mine. Making him part of me.

  Making him work until a sheen of sweat shone on him.

  He thrust into me harder than before and let out a grunt, burying his head in my neck. Seth made me feel so good—why would I ever need anyone else? I would fight to keep him forever.

  I gasped at the force of his thrust, and the scream escaped as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over me. I arched into him and clawed at his bare shoulders until I collapsed beneath him.

  I glanced over at the alarm clock on my nightstand. It was minutes past midnight. "Happy anniversary."

  "It's after midnight already?" He pushed up for a look at the clock.

  "Time flies when you're with me."

  "Shit, Maddie. I'm so glad you took me back." His voice was tender, sweet, and sincere.

  "Me too." I smiled at him, rolled out from beneath him, and reached for my discarded clothes.

  He looked at me, puzzled. "What are you doing?"

  "I think it's time for a glass of wine."

  "You're crazy." He sat up and grabbed his jeans.

  We pulled on our clothes and raced downstairs. I found two juice glasses in the kitchen cupboard.

  He scrounged through my kitchen drawers and found my cheap corkscrew. "Is this all you have?" He held it up.

  I shrugged.

  "Remind me to get you a new one. I'll steal one from Dad. He has plenty from the winery to spare." He sighed and opened the bottle expertly. He poured two glasses and handed me one.

  I held mine up for a toast. "To three months together!"

  He clinked his glass with mine. "And a lifetime to follow."

  I looked at him, startled and deeply touched.

  "I mean it." His voice broke. "No one and no circumstance are going to tear us apart. We'll figure this out."

  The door to the apartment opened. Olivia walked in, accompanied by a gust of cool air. She jumped, startled, when she saw us. Her face clouded with confusion.

  She pointed between the two of us. "Are you two…?"

  "We are!" I grabbed another glass from the cupboard. "We were just celebrating." I poured her some wine and hugged her as I handed it to her.

  "This is a pleasant surprise." She sounded cautious as she raised her glass to us.

  "Isn't it?" I couldn't stop sm
iling.

  "So. Everything's okay?" She looked uncertain, as if she still might be misreading things.

  I nodded. "Seth's staying over tonight."

  She made a silent oh, and nodded. "Well, good then."

  "Don't worry. I'll put the lid down." He laughed. "I make a mean breakfast. I'll cook for you both in the morning."

  "Promises, promises. If I fall into the toilet in the middle of the night, I will have to throttle you. You've been warned." Olivia raised her glass to us. "To happy reunions."

  "And many more," I said, totally getting she meant so much more. So many more crucial, scary reunions, like Mom and Rick's.

  Seth and I slept wrapped in each other's arms. I felt secure and peaceful. I may even have sighed happily in my sleep. The next morning, Seth made good and made breakfast.

  "We have to tell both of our parents," I said over cheese omelets and toast.

  He swore he could have made a fancier creation, but I didn't have many ingredients for him to work with.

  He slid my hand-me-down skillet into the sink of soapy water and talked to me through the pass-through from our micro-size kitchen to the main living/dining room. "I agree completely."

  "And involve Ian." I slathered jam on my toast as I sat at our tiny dining table, one foot hooked beneath me on my chair.

  "Yeah." Seth carried a plate in from the kitchen and took a seat opposite me. "You're right. Any ideas how?"

  "I have a plan," I said. "I'll call him and arrange for us to get together. I'll give you the details when we're all together."

  After breakfast I called my brother, told him Seth and I were back together, and arranged for the three of us to meet for coffee and make battle plans.

  Seth and I arrived first at The College Grind, and saved seats. When Ian arrived, I jumped up and threw myself in his arms. I'd never loved my big brother more.

  "Thank you," I whispered in his ear. I knew he'd helped do this, done his part to convince Seth to come back to me.

  "It was nothing." He hugged me tightly. "I simply encouraged him to do what he wanted to do all along."

  Seth gave us a second, then stood and extended his hand to Ian to shake. "Big brother."

  Ian grabbed Seth and hugged him, slapping him on the back. "Little brother. Treat my sister well or I'll have your head."