by Kennedy Fox
Checking the clock, I see it’s almost time for Hunter to get home, and the thought excites me. I’ve actually grown to miss him when he’s working because it gets lonely here.
However, Sophie and Maddie are coming over tonight, and we’re going to look through baby name books. We try to get together at least once a week, and though it can be hard with everyone’s schedule, we’ve somehow been able to make it work.
I grab the stack of books and sit on the couch. As I flip through one of them, I start thinking about my parents again and what their reaction will be. A tear slides down my cheek when the front door opens. Hunter immediately notices, and his face contorts.
“Everything okay?” he asks, setting down his work bag that’s stuffed full. He comes over and sits beside me on the couch.
I shrug and wipe my cheeks. “Yeah, I’m just thinking about my parents and taking that trip to Utah during the Fourth of July. I’m so fucking scared about what they’re going to say or do.” My voice cracks at the end, showing just how nervous I am. “But I know it has to be done.”
He stills as he studies me.
“I’ll go with you, Lennon.”
Wait, what? I’m almost shocked. “Hunter…”
“I don’t want you to have to tell them alone. Plus, I have a few vacation days I can take.” He shrugs as if this is no big deal, but to me, it’s huge.
I shake my head. “You can’t always be there for me, Hunter.”
He gives me a soft smile. “Yes, I can, and I will.”
We sit in silence for a moment, both of us in our heads, until he notices the books stacked high. “Still searching for baby names tonight with your sisters?”
I burst into laughter. “Of course. They’ll be here in thirty minutes.”
“If Sophie’s driving, it’ll be fifteen.” He stands, shooting me a smirk. “Gonna take a shower. It’s hot as fuck outside, and I’m sweaty.”
“Well, I wasn’t gonna say anything but…” I tease even though he smells as good as always to me.
“Hilarious.” He walks backward, giving me a pointed look. “Just think about it, Lennon.”
“Okay,” I tell him, then he turns around and walks toward the bathroom.
I think about how he’d give me the confidence I need to face my parents. He’s supported me so much that when he’s around, I feel as if I can actually do scary things—like telling my parents I’m pregnant out of wedlock.
Leaning my head back on the couch, I hear the water turn on and remember seeing him naked, which is the absolute last thing I should be thinking about right now. I squeeze my legs together, trying to get ahold of my thoughts, and am so thankful for Sophie and her knowledge of adult toys. She got me this clit vibrator thingy, and it basically has me singing to the heavens. Luckily for me, it’s also waterproof.
Soon, I’m pulled back by a knock on the door. When I answer it, I see Maddie, who’s still wearing her dance clothes. As I look past her, I see Sophie climbing up the stairs, who obviously couldn’t keep up, and it makes me laugh a little.
“There’s my favorite sister,” Sophie says, and Maddie lights up, both of them walking inside and making themselves at home.
“I love being your favorite!” I kid with Maddie, who playfully narrows her eyes at me.
“Tell her,” Maddie demands. “Soph, you know I’ve always been your number one.”
Sophie snickers as they funnel into the living room. “You both are.”
The bathroom door swings open, and Hunter walks out with a towel wrapped around his waist before going to his room. Our eyes meet, and the only thing that pulls me away is Maddie’s gasp.
“Oh. My. Damn.” She releases a breath as if she’s actually affected and then glares at me. “How are you not even aroused by that man?”
I roll my eyes and look at Sophie who, not surprisingly, agrees.
“You two better stop it,” I warn, pointing at them to emphasize my point. “And neither one of you is allowed to gawk at him.”
“Because he’s only yours to drool over?” Maddie jokes, and I’m half-tempted to slap that silly grin off her face.
Sophie, knowing I’m getting annoyed, leads Maddie to the couch. “Don’t start with her. She’s hormonal and may gouge your eyes out.”
“Exactly,” I agree with a fake glare. I sit between them, and they both immediately attack me, rubbing their hands over my belly and trying to feel the baby.
“C’mon, baby, kick!” Maddie orders.
“It’s too soon, you weirdo.” I snicker. “She’s the size of a lime.”
“She?” Sophie squeals.
I look down at my bloated stomach and rub a palm over it. “I think it is, but I don’t know for sure yet. Just feels like a girl.”
“So that’s why you’re doubly hormonal?” Maddie cracks. I nudge my shoulder with hers and hiss.
“Don’t worry, baby,” Sophie coos, patting one side of my belly. “I’ll be your favorite auntie who will love you no matter what.”
“Hey, no way!” Maddie flicks Sophie’s hand, and soon they’re fighting over my unborn child.
“You two are insane.” I laugh, pushing them both away. “Neither of you will be the favorite if you don’t help me name her!”
We pick up the books off the coffee table and start flipping through them. Hunter walks into the living room and tells us he’s ordering pizza, which only makes my stomach growl in anticipation. Grabbing his bag, he brings it to the kitchen table and pulls out his laptop for a makeshift desk. He’s been working so damn hard lately with his project, which I find really admirable considering how much he’s already doing for me.
“How about you make a list for boy names and girl names you like and then you can start narrowing from there?” Maddie suggests.
“That’s a good idea,” Sophie adds. “We’ve got a lot of books to go through.” She glances at the stack I ordered. I might’ve gone a tad overboard. I won’t find out the gender until my August ultrasound appointment, which is exciting, but I won’t care either way. This baby is a miracle.
“If it’s a boy, I’m leaning toward Brandon Jude Locke, Jr,” I say, a smile touching my lips.
“That’s perfect,” Hunter says from the kitchen table, and Sophie and Maddie agree in unison.
I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and each time it crosses my mind, my heart lurches forward. Though Brandon’s not here, I’ll make sure he continues to live through our memories together. The baby will know how great of a man their daddy was. Before I get too sucked into my head and emotional, I continue.
“So maybe we should just look at girl names then? Hell, that just cut our job in half.” I hand Sophie a book as thick as a dictionary. I flip open the one in my lap and see an overwhelming number of names listed in alphabetical order. Most I’ve never heard of like Athwenna and Aoife.
“I, at least, want people to be able to say and spell her name correctly,” I say aloud after reading words I don’t even know how to pronounce.
Maddie and Sophie throw out different cute names, and I write a few down in my phone app but others I pass on. The pizza eventually arrives, and we set the books aside while we move to the kitchen table. As we eat, making small talk, Maddie eventually brings up our parents.
“Do you know when you’re going to tell them?” She looks at me just as Sophie did last week when she asked. Time will eventually run out, we all know it, and I have to decide soon.
“Well, I’ve been thinking about it a lot actually. Every time I get in the shower, I see how my tummy grows, and I won’t be able to cover it up much longer.” Even though we live in different states, they won’t be happy I hid it from them and didn’t tell them right away. The longer I wait, the more disappointed they’ll be.
Hunter gives me a sympathetic smile but doesn’t interrupt.
“I’ve decided to keep my Fourth of July trip and tell them in person and just get it over with. I hope they’re not heartless enough to throw me out on my p
regnant ass, not after everything I’ve been through this year, but it wouldn’t surprise me.” It hurts my hormonal heart to think about it, but I know it’s something that has to be done. “Plus, it’s too easy to hang up on someone if it’s done over the phone. At least then they’ll have to dismiss me and the baby to my face,” I continue.
Once I tell my parents, the entire congregation of the church will know my business in less than a day. I can only imagine the prayer lists I’ll be added to.
“This isn’t going to be good, Lennon. Are you crazy?” Maddie asks.
“I know they’ll be highly disappointed and won’t hold back what they think about any of this, but I’m their daughter. They love me unconditionally, right? They taught us compassion all of our lives.” I pause. “Honestly, I’m really fucking scared of their reaction because I don’t want to lose them.” I look at Maddie and Sophie with sad eyes.
“I’m going with you,” Hunter speaks up, his eyes not leaving mine. “I’m not going to let you go through that alone. I know I’ve already offered, but I’m not giving you a choice anymore. I want to be there for you,” he states matter-of-factly, crossing his arms over his broad chest and holding his stance as if he’s not giving me any room to argue this.
My mouth slightly falls open. “You’re insane. You have no idea how stressful and awkward this will be.” I shake my head, turning my body slightly toward him. “I’m already preparing for the worst, and if you’re serious about this, you’ll need to as well. The moment they see my belly and no wedding ring, I’ll be the black sheep of the family. What hurts the most is knowing how disappointed they’ll be when all I’ve ever wanted is to make them proud. They might literally tell me to leave and never come back.” I’ve been stressed and worried enough about this pregnancy, and while this is a giant hurdle to cross, they deserve to know they’ll be grandparents. Plus, I can’t lie forever. They’d eventually find out. My emotions take hold when I think about what could happen. Sophie and Maddie look back and forth between us.
“I wish I could go with you.” Maddie takes my hand. “I can’t because of my show. I’m so sorry.”
I wipe a rogue tear that spills over. I hate that I’m crying right now, but the more I think about it, the more upset I become. Telling them they’re going to be grandparents shouldn’t cause me this much stress.
“I’ll try to get out of rehearsal, Lennon. If you want me to—” Sophie starts but is cut off.
“We’ll tell them we’re married and having a baby,” Hunter blurts out, pulling our attention to him. “We got hitched, and you got pregnant on the honeymoon.” Hunter shrugs, pursing his lips as if the idea he just came up with isn’t completely insane. “There, problem solved.” He picks up a piece of pizza and takes a bite of it as I swallow down my heart that’s lodged deep in my throat.
My eyes go wide and so do Sophie’s and Maddie’s. The three of us stare at him as though he’s grown a second head. I blink twice, trying to make sure I heard him correctly, and by the smirk on his lips, I know I did. We all did.
Chapter Twenty
Hunter
I could literally kick my own ass for blurting that out in front of her sisters because I feel like they see right through me. Sometimes I don’t think about the repercussions before I speak or how it will make Lennon feel. As the three of them stare at me as if I’ve grown a third eye, I just smile because that’s all I can do after putting myself in this situation.
I won’t allow her to go through this without some support, and if she doesn’t want her parents to completely write her off, then what’s the problem with a teeny white lie? For a moment, I try to think about why I said it as the guilt floods through me. I’m doing this for Brandon, right? Well, I am, but also for Lennon. She needs me.
However, lately, the lines have blurred, but regardless, I meant what I offered.
“I-I’m sorry. What did you say?” Lennon asks barely over a whisper, and as I look into her eyes, it feels as if her sisters disappear, and it’s just her and me. I play it off like it’s no big deal even though it is to me. I’d do anything to keep her safe and happy, even if it means pretending to be her husband, pretending the baby in her belly is mine, and lying to her parents. If it means she’ll be able to get through this pregnancy easier, sign me up for all of it. The only person I’m concerned about is Lennon because she’s already in a vulnerable state.
“I was just thinking that if they’ll disown you for this when you’re so happy about it and desperately want them in your and the baby’s life, why not tell another white lie? You’ve been telling them for a year that you live in an apartment alone when you obviously don’t. The part of me who’s selfish for you and the baby thinks lying to protect you would be the best plan. If we went to Vegas and got married, then having a child is just the next step in the relationship, right?” I take my focus from her and glance at a smiling Sophie and Maddie who are nodding in agreement.
“It’s actually the perfect plan,” Sophie adds. “And we grew up in Utah, Lennon. It’s almost normal for people to get married and pregnant within the same month.”
Lennon opens her mouth, but Sophie continues. “Before you try to dismantle this idea the way you always do, we all know our parents are going to be upset you didn’t get married in the church and eloped instead. But with that being said, they wouldn’t write you off, kick you out, and pretend you never existed. They’d probably be thrilled they’re going to be grandparents too, as long as you’re married.” Sophie turns to face Lennon. “You know what happened to Shelby Greer.”
There’s a long pause, and I’m dying to hear this, so I say fuck it and speak up. “What happened?”
Maddie giggles, and Lennon gives me a pointed look.
“Her parents refused to talk to her. The whispers around our small town essentially broke her to the point that she moved away. The rumors spread like wildfire, and her mother told her story like it was a lesson for everyone,” Lennon explains. “She was a disgrace to her parents and lost everything. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried the same thing will happen to me.”
“What the hell did she do to deserve that?” I scoff, appalled.
“Adultery,” Sophie answers. “Except the guy never told her he was married, but it didn’t matter to them. She’d committed the ultimate sin.”
“And then she ended up pregnant with his baby. It was a double whammy,” Maddie adds.
My eyes widen at the reality of this. My family wasn’t overly religious, but we pretended to be. Or rather, my parents did, and I had to follow along, so I guess in a way I get it. You don’t want to let your family down because they’re all you have. Even with my strained relationship with my father, I’d be devastated to lose my mother or brother.
However, what happened to forgiveness and understanding? I want to ask her more questions, but with her sisters here, I hold back.
“Well?” I encourage.
“Hunter has a really good idea,” Sophie concludes.
“I agree,” Maddie says. “Plus, what is it we always say? What they don’t know won’t hurt them, remember?” Maddie arches her brows, the known rebel of the three.
“Am I living in a freaking twilight zone right now?” Lennon’s eyes search my face, and then she turns to her sisters. “We’re talking about a really big lie here. I was just with Brandon, and now I’m supposed to be married? You think they’ll even buy it?”
I can see she’s freaking out, overanalyzing it all before we really sit down and talk through this, and I can’t blame her. This is a crazy idea, but I wouldn’t have suggested it if I wasn’t sure we could pull it off.
“Lennon.” I pull back from the table and go to kneel in front of her. I want her to see how much I care for her and that this would ease some of her worries so she can actually enjoy the rest of her pregnancy while staying healthy. “Just hear me out, okay? I know this sounds off-the-wall insane, but I just want to protect you. I know a little bit about messy famili
es. I don’t want you or the baby to go through any extra stress, and I know it’s taking a toll on you. I know how much it means for you to have their support. You’ve already lost so much, and this is all avoidable,” I tell her softly. Though I’m trying to act as calm as can be, my heart hammers in my chest.
Lennon looks down at her hands for a second, contemplating my idea. I can almost see and hear the wheels turning in her head. I’m just hoping she doesn’t have a meltdown with the way her hormones have been lately. She’s eerily quiet, which starts to concern me, so I just keep talking about it as I think of more ideas to make this work.
“I don’t have all of this figured out, but when they’d ask us questions about the relationship, all we have to say is we became friends through Brandon, but I always had unrequited feelings for you. We started leaning on each other and grieved him together, which made us grow even closer and eventually my feelings were reciprocated. His death put into perspective that life’s too short not to be together, and once we set aside the guilt, we ultimately didn’t want to be apart.” I have to pause because there’s too much truth in my words for me to continue. Brandon comes to mind and all the conversations we had about Lennon and how much he loved her and was planning to ask her to marry him. Now here I am on my knees, begging her to fake a marriage with me.
I think about how Brandon wanted to meet her parents this summer and propose on their trip. A trip he never got to take. The thought of it all nearly chokes me, and I feel like I need to gasp for air as I’m consumed by the guilt.
He should be going with her, not me. His timing would’ve been almost perfect with the pregnancy. I think about the ring he bought her and how I can never tell her about it—that secret will have to die with me. If she ever found out the real reason for this trip, it could potentially destroy her and the trust she had in me. All I want to do is keep her happy after all the tragedy she’s endured. That’s all Brandon would want me to do too.