Dancing in Circles (Circles Trilogy)

by Adams, Victoria

  "No."

  "Mommy," Ashley shouted from the family room. Mrs. Anderson excused herself.

  "Happy Birthday." Again, Robert put down his mug and walked over to Julie. She shuffled backed a step. He tilted his head. "What's the matter?"

  "Nothing." Julie glanced down at her feet. Her heart raced. Stop looking at me. Peeking up at Robert's face, Julie bit her lip at the crinkled brow and sad expression chiselled onto his face. Part of her wanted to hug him but a bigger part wanted to run and hide. We should never have…oh my God, what am I going to do?

  He reached out to hug her. "Are you sorry we—"

  "Don't!"

  "Don't what?"

  "Don't touch me." She leaned away from him.

  "What's wrong?" His hand ached to touch her, but she'd backed too far from him. A deathly cold shiver slithered through his gut. His mind whirled trying to figure out the reason she was rejecting him, but no clues revealed themselves. Last night. The words slapped his soul. I shouldn't have touched her. Shouldn't have made love to her. Fuck. I so screwed that up. Idiot.

  Before he could discover what was troubling her, Mrs. Anderson returned to the living room. "Would either of you like some breakfast?"

  "I'm outta here." Robert paused to see if Julie would signal him to stay. She dug her toe into the carpet and chewed her lip. He brushed past her, grabbed his helmet and jacket and walked out the door wondering if last night had been a big mistake. It had been the best night of his life, but had it cost him Julie?

  Her mother rested her hand on her daughter's shoulder. "Something wrong?"

  Julie gulped down an ache that was trying to fill her soul. She raised her eyes and gave her mother a weak smile. "I think I'm just tired from yesterday."

  "Maybe you should go in the family room and watch TV. I'll go with you and settle you into a chair." She guided Julie to the door at the head of the stairs. "I'll even turn on the TV and bring you a Diet Coke. How about a blanket, and you can lie dormant all day?"

  "Mom, I really don't think—"

  "Well I do. I'm the mother. You're the daughter. You must obey." She led her down to the family room. "Here, Julie, let me turn on the light for you."

  She pressed the wall switch and the room filled with light. Balloons and banners hung from the ceiling. Julie glanced at her mother then opened her mouth to speak when a loud and cheerful chorus of "Surprise!" and "Happy Birthday!" cut her off.

  Julie's father, brother and sisters popped up from behind chairs and doors. Francine, Tricia, Jennifer and Heather rose from behind the corner bar. Next to that, on a table was a birthday cake in the shape of a pair of pointe shoes with nineteen candles waiting to be lit.

  Tricia scooted over to hug her friend. "We bet that you'd figure we'd all forget your birthday cause of exams and stuff."

  Performance of your life here, girl. Happy Julie. Happy, happy Julie. "To be honest, I almost forgot my birthday because of exams and stuff. You guys are the greatest. Now where are my presents?" Julie rubbed her hands and pretended to crack her knuckles.

  After the presents were opened and the cake was served ,the Anderson siblings and parents left, so the girls could gossip. Francine was talking about her date with a freshman college student when Jennifer leaned over to Julie and whispered, "So where is he?"

  Julie swallowed hard and forced a casual shrug. How do they know? Can they tell I slept with him? A jolt of nausea hit her. She inhaled a deep breath to calm it.

  "Where's Robert?" Jennifer swallowed the last bite of cake.

  "What?" She fought to control her breathing.

  "Since you two were so into each other at my party, I figured he'd be here."

  Stay calm. "We're just friends."

  Jennifer gave her friend's shoulder a little shove. "That's what you keep saying, but I was watching you two, and there's more going on than you're telling us."

  Julie pursed her lips and shook her head.

  Tricia waved the others over. "Julie's having boy trouble."

  "Boy trouble. I'd call him man trouble." Heather sighed.

  "You and Chris having problems?" asked Francine.

  "Chris is extremely old history." Heather stood next to Julie. "She's onto bigger fish."

  "Who?" Francine raised her eyebrows and waited.

  No. No. No. Change the subject. I don't want to think about him. Or talk about him. Please everybody, just go home. Julie forced her face to be neutral and willed the tears not to fall.

  "Robert," Jennifer grinned as she waited for Francine's response.

  "Robert!" Francine's face snapped to a frown. "How could you?"

  "He's a nice guy." Well that was pathetic.

  "He's trash, Julie." Francine flicked her hair over her shoulder. "He'll concoct some sad story to charm his way into your pants. Excuse my crudeness, but look what he did to Trish. Seduced her, beat up her boyfriend and then moved on. Onto you as it seems. When he's got what he wants from you, he'll be gone. Probably move onto Jennifer. At least he's got taste. I'll give him that. He's moving like a shark through the best pack in the school."

  Julie sputtered out a feeble protest, but Francine charged onward. "Let me guess. He told you a sad story about having a terrible childhood. Probably beaten by his parents or…or maybe abandoned by them. Spent his days alone, cold and shivering. He probably said he joined the gang because he was looking for friends. Did he happen to mention that the gang he belongs to is involved in drugs, prostitution and extortion? Did he happen to mention that he has a criminal record? Another thing," Francine stood tall and sneered. "Did he happen to mention he's the leader of the Shoresmen?"

  "The leader?" Heather popped her hand over her mouth.

  Francine leaned inward and lowered her voice. "Do you know how they get to be leader?"

  The others shook their heads. Julie remained frozen and mute.

  "They kill somebody."

  "No way." Tricia's voice was a mix of squeak and gasp. "Who?"

  "Could be anybody." Francine adjusted the sleeve on her blouse then readjusted it. She adored being the focus of attention. "A police officer. Or maybe a judge who sent a member to jail."

  Julie tensed.

  Francine bit back a smile. "My dad says they're trying to start a gang war. The gang unit had everything calm and controlled but Shoresmen got greedy. They want to take another gang's area, which'll mean more drug revenue and prostitution earnings. "Your friend," The word dripped with intense disgust. "will probably become a very rich punk."

  Julie chewed her lip. Robert had originally hidden the truth about his status in the gang. He only confessed it when cornered in a conversation. He didn't offer the information freely. How could she know if everything Robert told her was the truth? Maybe last night was just another conquest to him. He'd gotten what he wanted out of her. He never said he loved her.

  Julie clenched and unclenched her fists. What a fool she'd been. So easily charmed by his personality and sexy looks. He was such a smooth talker. Big, sad, puppy dog eyes. Pretending to be all interested in her. What an idiot she was. He was a gang member after all. He couldn't be trusted.

  "Hate to break this up." Tricia glanced at her watch. "But we have to go so Julie can spend part of her birthday with her family."

  Francine pulled Julie aside. "You know he has a criminal record. He killed my brother. Knifed him in cold blood. How can you trust someone like that?"

  "I…I…" Everybody just go away and leave me alone. I need to think. No, I don't want to think about him. It confuses me.

  Julie escorted her friends to their cars and waved then Julie returned to the family room. As she stared at the gift certificate for a spa day, one thought revolved around in her mind – What if Francine was right? She collected her presents and headed upstairs.

  Just outside her bedroom, her parents stopped her. "Now for your present from us." Her mother held something in her hand. "We're dropping the others at Aunt Karen's and then we're going for supper and then to the We
stland Performance Center to see—"

  "Swan Lake!" Julie snatched the tickets. "Oh, thank-you. I'll get dressed in two seconds."

  Almost true to her word, Julie changed and raced to the car. As Mr. Anderson locked the door, he asked his wife, "What do I do with the fourth ticket?"

  "Stick it in the door. Maybe Robert will get the hint. If he comes home in time. Brr, that's a nasty wind."

  As Mr. Anderson drove the car down Crestview, a gust of wind whistled past their house. It snatched the ticket from the door and tossed it into a hedge.

  ***

  Julie barely tasted her supper and repeatedly checked her watch to see if they were going to be late. She only relaxed when they were seated in row two, programs in hand and the lights dimmed. As the overture ended and the curtain rose, Julie's attention was riveted to the stage. She mentally danced every step, held every pose and soared with every lift. Intermission was a rude interruption. When the curtain closed at the finale, Julie stared at the stage wishing the dancers would reappear and perform all over again.

  Her mother tugged Julie's coat sleeve. She stood and followed her parents to the car. The weather changed to miserably bitter as they crossed the parking lot. A raw wind whipped past their faces and chilled the end of their noses. "Bundle up good, Sandra. We don't want frostbite on the future Andersons."

  "Yes, Mom. It would be bad for you to get a cold now."

  "Thank you all for your consideration. My, it's cold. It feels like it's well below freezing." She sighed. "I guess this will be the end of the fall flowers. No more blossoms until spring. Time to get ready for the long cold winter."

  As they neared the car, the wind whistled through the trees and made the branches creak and groan. "It even sounds cold," said Mr. Anderson as he clicked the unlock button.

  "Ah, but winter means December and December means babies." Julie laughed as she held the front passenger door open for her mother.

  "Only if I don't deliver early." Her mother settled onto the car seat.

  "You wouldn't dare." The wind howled. Julie snuggled inside her coat then sat in the back.

  As Julie's father started to back out of the parking spot, Mrs. Anderson asked, "Does anybody else have a craving for cheesecake?"

  "Birthday cake, cheesecake and Swan Lake, this is the best birthday ever. Drive on, Dad."

  ***

  After Julie chased the last crumb around her plate, she glanced at her parents. "How do you know to trust somebody?"

  Her mother wiped the corner of her mouth and placed her napkin on her plate. "What brought this up?"

  Julie shrugged. "Just a question. How do you know to trust me?"

  "Love." Her mother patted her arm and smiled. "Parental instinct."

  "Okay, poor choice." Julie glanced around the restaurant. "What if someone you didn't know told you something and you can't really check on him, how would you know to trust him?"

  "You and Robert having problems?" Her mother tilted her head.

  "What do you mean are she and Robert? Are you two dating?" Mr. Anderson signalled for the cheque.

  Julie glanced at her plate.

  "Has he done something? Said something?" A look of concern crossed her mother's face.

  Other than made love to me? Julie shook her head.

  "Then why not trust him?"

  "Doesn't it seem strange to you that we have a gang member in the house?" She tried to keep her tone neutral.

  The creases on her mother's forehead became evident. "What's gotten into you?"

  "Everything he said about his criminal record is true as far as I know." Mr. Anderson tucked the credit card receipt into his wallet and stood. "You're the one who brought him to us. You're the one who instinctively trusted him. Has he done something to break that trust?"

  "No. Not really." Julie pushed back her chair.

  Her father helped his wife stand then glanced at his daughter. "What happened last night?

  Julie puzzled on her answer for a moment. "It's not that, really. But, well, Francine said—"

  "I don't care what Francine said." Her mother buttoned her coat. "From what I've seen Robert's just a good kid trying to make something out of a bad situation. What he needs is a mother. I wish he were younger, so we could adopt him. Let's go. You have school tomorrow and I'm tired."

  Her father and Julie walked side by side to the car. "Snickerdo, I love you so listen before you get angry."

  Julie giggled. "I can never get angry when you call me that."

  "Robert is a different kind of person. He's led a violent life and that tends to warp a sense of values. I want you to think very, very seriously before getting romantically involved with him. I don't dislike Robert, but I don't know if he's the right person for you. I think you could do better." He clicked unlock on the car, slid in and started the engine.

  Mr. Anderson pulled into their driveway and parked next to Robert's motorcycle. Julie didn't feel a rush of joy at the thought of seeing him. She wanted him to go away – far, far away.

  "Good heavens." Her mother's gasp startled Julie. She looked out the back passenger window. Robert sat huddled in the front doorway. They exited the car and walked to the front door.

  "I got locked out." He stood, dug himself deeper into his jacket and stepped back from the door.

  "You could've slept at the club house." Julie's tone was harsh. Robert looked at her but said nothing.

  When they stepped through the front door into the brightly lit living room, Robert lowered his head attempting to hide the bruise on his cheek. "You've been fighting." Mr. Anderson's voice held a hint of disapproval.

  Robert remained silent while switching between staring at the floor and looking at Julie.

  Sensing his need to talk to her daughter, Mrs. Anderson said, "I'm going to bed. Coming Bill?"

  "Right behind you. Good night, and happy birthday, honey."

  "Thanks, Dad. I had a great time."

  "Don't stay up too long," her mother called over her shoulder. "School tomorrow."

  "Have fun with your parents?" Robert stared at the floor. He preferred it to the back of Julie's head.

  Julie glanced out the window into the darkness. "Yes, we went to a ballet." She waved the program. "I'm pretty tired. Guess I'll go to bed. Good night."

  "Can we talk?"

  "I'm really tired. Good night." She faked a yawn while covering her mouth with her hand.

  "Why won't you…?"

  Julie turned and scurried up the stairs. Robert stared at the empty place where she'd just stood. What had he done wrong? Everything was fine twenty-four hours ago – before he made love to her. He walked to her room, knocked on the door then opened it.

  Julie turned. "What?"

  "I wanna talk."

  "Later."

  He stepped into the room. "Now."

  "Whatever it is, it can wait until morning."

  Robert exited the room, and ten minutes later, he exited the house.

  ***

  Monday after school, Julie found her mother sitting in the living room with a fresh pot of tea. Julie plopped on the chair beside her. "Hey. How are you?"

  "Feeling like a very pregnant mother. But I'm fine." She poured a cup of tea and offered it to her daughter. "Good day at school?"

  Julie shrugged and accepted the teacup.

  "Was Robert at school today?"

  "No, why?"

  "His room's clean, the bed's made and his clothes are gone."

  Julie took a sip of her drink. "He came in last night and wanted to talk. I told him to go away that I wanted to sleep. I didn't mean for him to take me literally."

  "What did he want to talk about?"

  Julie shrugged.

  Her mother frowned. "A friend has a problem and wants to talk and you tell him to go away. Here I was worried about you."

  Julie crinkled her forehead and pursed her lips.

  Her mother warmed her hands on her teacup. "I was worried he'd break your heart. Why are you sud
denly pushing him away? He was opening up to you. He was starting to trust us. What did he do?"

  Julie's bottom lip trembled. "I'm scared of him."

  "Scared? Why?"

  Julie blinked a couple of times to hold back the tears. "Because I don't know how to act around him. I don't know what to say or do when he looks at me. I don't understand what's going on. I'm scared he'll get hurt or something will happen, and I'll never see him again." Because I fell in love with him.

  Mrs. Anderson sipped her tea while she waited to see if her daughter had anything more to say. Holding her teacup in her hand, she said, "Saturday night, he charged in here, but you'd already left for your rehearsal. You missed each other by five minutes. He never even ate supper. He turned around and went to the studio so he wouldn't miss your class. Did he make it?"

  Julie nodded.

  "Did you two have a fight?"

  "Far from it." Very, very far from it.

  Her mother pursed her lips. "Then I don't understand. I thought you cared for him."

  "That's the problem, I do care, more than I want to. I'm so scared. I don't know what to do." She fought back the tears. "Yesterday, when I came downstairs and saw him, I just panicked. I couldn't stop myself."

  Her mother patted Julie's arm then lifted her cup to take a sip. "He'll probably be back tomorrow."

  ***

  By Thursday, Robert still hadn't come home or shown up at school. Julie kept finding him creeping into her thoughts. She'd be concentrating in math class and would suddenly hear his voice inside her head explaining how to do the problem. While the English class discussed love poems, she relived the evening in the dance studio.

  Last period, in biology, she'd given up trying to concentrate on what Mr. Parks was teaching. She looked over at Robert's empty desk. Why did she miss him so much? Sunday, when he was near her, she couldn't stand the touch of his gaze or of his hands, but now she longed for him. Why?

  The sound of the end of day bell snapped her back to reality. She picked up her books and left. As Heather's car neared her house, Julie saw a black leather-jacketed figure with a dark helmet, perched on a motorcycle.

  "Look who's parked in Julie's driveway." Heather giggled.

  The car had barely stopped when Julie said goodbye and jumped out. The biker took the helmet off. She stopped short. It was Paul. A dark bruised marred his cheek and a fresh cut under his eye dribbled blood.