by O. E. Boroni
“I never said I was upset with her,” he said. “I think she did a fine job, but that doesn’t mean we should encourage it. It was a terrible risk, and she might still be in trouble for it.”
“True,” she said and then looked at me. “But why does she look so gloomy? I would’ve expected she’d be disgustingly smug by now.”
Nathan chuckled, and then checked to ensure that I was eating properly. Elisa stayed with us and we listened to her as she spoke, until it was time to leave. By then, I felt considerably lighter but they both insisted that I returned to my room so the incident would quickly die down.
We walked out of the hall together but Elisa went on to give us a little privacy. He pulled me with him away from the reflection of the street lamps, and to a dim area beneath one of the massive trees that flanked the entrance. With a finger on my chin he lifted my face to his.
“Are you better now?” he asked softly, and I nodded. He studied my eyes to make sure and then leaned down to plant a soft kiss on my lips. When Elisa started coughing in the distance, he smiled at her nosiness and pulled me into a soothing hug.
After making me promise to search him out the next day because he’d be too busy to get away himself, he let me go. I nodded, and waved goodbye.
“You’re a bloody nuisance Elisa,” I called as I turned to leave, and her resounding laughter brought a smile to my face.
*
The next day was a hectic one. The art show was already taking place and there were officials to assess it, but the play was what everyone was more interested in.
It was held in the school’s main auditorium over at the Keep, and the hall had been darkened to look like a theatre. I was relaxed in the back with a bag of popcorn, while the officials filled the front. Students occupied all the other seats and we all watched on as the various houses came one after the other, to present their plays.
Elisa had her French poem to recite immediately after the plays so I was looking forward to that. Nathan on the other hand was probably running around trying to organize everyone, so I felt a little lonely sitting all by myself, but still, I managed to have a good time.
The plays soon ended and then the recitals came on, but something strange happened. Lonsdale house didn’t have anyone to represent them which was very surprising. So after it ended, I went in search of Elisa. The performers were all backstage so I didn’t expect the disconcerting silence that I met when I got there. The house’s seniors and some officials were huddled together, speaking quietly in a corner.
I saw Elisa leaning against a table and watching them, so I hurried over to her.
“What’s happening?” I asked when I reached her. I could see the worry in her eyes.
“Kate’s missing,” she explained in a whisper.
I stopped cold. “What?”
“She was supposed to present their recital today, but her roommate said that she’s been gone since yesterday. No one knows where she is.”
I turned to lean against the table with Elisa, and joined in the gloom that had overtaken the room. Most people kept quiet but the ones who spoke, did so in concerned whispers.
I thought to the last time I had seen her and remembered that it had been last week- on the first day of rehearsals. She had been outside with the rest of her housemates, and the sight of her had made me share my suspicion with Elisa that she had read my journal. I didn’t know how to feel about all this, but I sincerely hoped that she was okay wherever she was.
Elisa straightened and forced a smile onto her face. I could tell that she was trying to be positive.
“This is not a big deal,” she said in a voice low enough for just me to hear. “They’ll find her. I mean she’s bound to show up soon. Where could she have gone?”
And so the festival continued throughout the rest of the day. There was still a considerable amount of cheer and excitement because only a few people were aware of Kate’s disappearance, but by late evening, it was the talk of the school.
Elisa left with Matthew for dinner but I had to find Nathan to keep my promise. I had only seen him a few times during the day as he worked with his housemaster to conclude the rest of the presentations. I left the hall to our rehearsal court to see only a few people remaining. They were gathering their belongings to head to the dining hall.
I scanned the room several times but I couldn’t find him, so I was about to leave when I saw him coming from the locker room with a backpack slung over his shoulder. I stood long enough for him to see me, and when I was sure he had, I walked up to the back of the east pew and sat down to wait.
It was already very dark outside and since only a few lights were on in the court, the area I sat in was dim enough to make it hard for anyone at the bottom to make out our faces. He stopped for a few seconds to talk to some people just before they took their leave, and then headed up to me.
I struggled to find the right position to wait for him in but after twice dropping my legs from the bench in front of me, and straightening my back from my attempts to lean against the wall and seem relaxed, I finally just stood up when he reached me.
He grinned and my heart swelled with excitement. I hid my trembling hands behind my back.
“Hi,” he said and to my complete surprise, he pulled me into his arms for a deep hug. Releasing my arms from behind my back, I wrapped them around his waist and savored the sweet warmth that came with him.
“How was your day?” he whispered.
“It was okay. I expect yours was something else huh?”
He leaned away from me to look into my eyes and smiled. “You have no idea.”
We took our seats and he brought out a bottle of water from the side of the bag. He offered it to me first and although I wasn’t thirsty, I accepted it and took a small sip. He watched me drink from it and then raised it to his own mouth when I handed it back to him. He drank much more than I did, and it made me realize how exhausted he was.
“Let’s go for dinner,” I said.
He shook his head. “Let’s stay here for a while,” he said. “I need a break from all the noise.”
He combed his fingers through his messy hair and turned to catch me watching him intently.
“Were you okay today?” he asked.
“Everything was fine, but there was the issue with Kate– I’m sure you’ve heard.”
An extra layer of exhaustion appeared on his face as I mentioned it. “I have,” he said.
“Do you think she’ll show up?”
He pondered the question for a bit and then turned to me. “Honestly, I don’t know. I don’t think she’d have missed her presentation without informing anyone beforehand if there wasn’t something wrong.”
“I’m sure she’ll turn up soon, and be okay,” I said, not willing to consider any other possibility. I tried not to imagine it but I kept on picturing her body on the ground, lifeless, and her brown hair spread out around her head. I shuddered. With a hand on the side of my chin, Nathan gently turned my face to him. “She’ll show up soon,” he assured me. “And she’ll be okay.”
I desperately hoped so too. Just then, I remembered as I stared into his eyes, that I’d ignored his birthday during the midterms.
“Happy birthday in arrears by the way,” I said, and a full smile spread across his lips. It was infectious.
“You’re late.”
“Well, you didn’t deserve a happy birthday from me at the time.”
“I know,” he said. “Thank you anyway.”
“Maybe next time I’ll do better, if you’re still not an ass by then.”
I didn’t say next year because I had no idea where we were going, or how long our newfound truce would last. Everything seemed more or less to be balanced on a thread, where in the next moment it could all tip over and come crashing down. I didn’t want to think about any of it so I took a deep breath, and lowered my head to his shoulder. I chose to just appreciate the moment, and hope with all of my heart that Kate would be found soon.
“We’ll see.” He said, and lifted his hand to pat the side of my head.
*
Nathan and I spent a few more minutes in the court as he told me about the competitions, and how far the house had gone. Nothing had been officially announced but by the scores he’d received so far, we were in second place, right behind Grizedale and just before Cartmel. The house had still managed to make third place despite Kate’s disappearance. Bowland and Lonsdale followed respectively after.
We left the court after that with his hand holding mine in the dark, as we walked towards the dining hall. He let go when we reached it, and we headed to his usual table. There was too much excitement about Kate for anyone to notice us and for us to be bothered even if anyone did, so we just ate quietly with Elisa, Matthew and James.
I got to my room almost an hour later, to find it crowded with Olivia’s friends as they threw their opinions around about the million and one things that could have happened to Kate. At first, I was irritated at the noise but when updates on her parents being contacted and also not having any ideas to her whereabouts were shared, I found myself listening intently.
A girl named Holly had thus far been the last to see her. The different houses had been setting up in the auditorium when the news had come to Olivia that her sister had been knocked out. Holly and Kate had been one of the curious people to hurry up to the clinic to confirm the news, but according to her that had been where she’d lost her. One minute she’d been by her side and the next she hadn’t. Everyone was baffled.
When I didn’t want to hear anymore, I laid on my bed and plugged in my earphones to listen to Lorde’s bravado. Pretty soon, the room thinned and then emptied out. I turned on my side and whispered a small prayer for Kate. I prayed that she’d be found, and soon, before any real damage could come to her.
*
The darkness was the scariest part, because in it, she felt like she’d already gone mad. And then the morning brought with itself a cruel sort of hope, that maybe, just maybe all was not lost. But in the depths of her heart she knew- she was absolutely sure that no one would and could ever find her. All except the people that she’d followed here, and she was sure that even if they came back, they’d never know that she was here. Not in this huge, deep abyss … nothing could find her here.
She was exhausted; oh, how dead she felt. She wished it would all end soon because another night of the torment she would never be able to endure. The hunger and thirst was nothing, but the fear was everything.
It would build with such rapid ferocity and passion that it would almost be as if something was consuming her, and then she would feel every part of her body freeze, as if she was paralyzed. And yes she was. She was completely paralyzed with fear, and she now knew with a bitter humor that the phrase “to be paralyzed with fear” that she'd heard countless times throughout her years, could and had become an utter reality.
She somehow managed to turn so that she could lie on her back. She was way past regret now, and only sought to find what little comfort that she could before the darkness completely took over again. Something had shielded the sky before because now, the stars were out and they shone. She had never realized it before now but they really shone, brightly enough to light anyone’s way if they appreciated it enough. But for her there was no way. She’d gone round and round and round … and found no escape. She was completely and utterly lost and the deafening cry of crickets seemed to mock her.
They were so loud, but it was preferable to the rustles she heard every now and then. The strange sounds that seemed so close to her but never produced a face no matter how long she waited- still, and with a stick in hand, ready to at least struggle. There was no doubt that she’d fail, but still, she wanted to at least have tried.
Something clicked inside of her that reminded her that she was still alive, and instantly, she felt the cold. It seeped in from the ground and through her back to fill her chest. From there, it would spread through her entire body until the painful numbness, completely overcame her. Her eyes began to close as she listened to the sounds … the sounds of despair; the sounds of the end.
« CHAPTER 22 »
I shot up from my bed with a loud gasp, and held my chest to calm my racing heart. It was pounding violently, and not until I took deep calming breaths was I able to realize where I was, and remember what I’d seen in my dream.
Morning couldn’t come quickly enough for me so as soon as it was bright enough for me to leave, I headed towards the gym knowing that Nathan would already be there. I tried calming myself down enough to think, just so that I could consider this more thoroughly because I was probably wrong. It didn’t work.
I ran the rest of the way and then stopped at the door to catch my breath. The few people that stood closest to Nathan turned, but he didn’t see me. He was seated and going through a folder of notes. He looked up when he heard my pounding footsteps and I saw his eyes widen in alarm as he took in my urgency. He got up before I had even reached him, and caught me as I all but slammed into him.
“Kate,” I whispered with what little breath I could gather. I swallowed. “Kate,” I repeated. “She’s in the forest.”
His eyes slowly narrowed.
“I don’t think you locked the door behind you when we went in after Olivia’s accident,” I said, and instantly, his eyes widened in understanding. He immediately turned to go, but I held his shirt.
“I’ll come with you,” I pleaded, but he shook his head.
“Stay here.” he ordered, and he forced me to the bench. I stood up almost immediately but he was already out of the auditorium before I could tell him to be careful.
*
It felt like forever but by mid-afternoon, the buzz was alive and word was out that Kate had been found. As soon as I heard, I shot to my feet but Elisa pulled me back down.
“I think you should wait.” she said and I returned to chewing my nails. The court immediately emptied and for the next hour, I fought against the silence and the torment to leave the court, but I knew that I shouldn’t and so did Elisa.
Elisa had arrived soon after Nathan left to see me distraught with worry and fear. After I’d managed to calm down enough to tell her about the forest and Kate’s disappearance, she’d patiently waited with me.
“But how did she know about it?” she’d asked, and by then I’d had more than enough time to put the pieces together.
“She read it from my journal.” I said, and that stunned her even more.
Nathan walked in exactly four hours and fifteen minutes after he’d first left, to see Elisa and me sitting together, waiting at the back of the court. There was too much excitement about Kate’s return so not many people were inside, but the ones that remained turned to watch Nathan as he made his way toward us.
I stood up as he approached, but when he reached me, he held my hand and gently pulled me back down to my seat.
“How’s Kate?” I asked, and noticed that he’d changed from the clothes that he’d had on in the morning.
“She followed us that evening since I didn’t lock the door,” he calmly explained, with his eyes resting somewhere above my shoulders. “But she got lost and couldn’t find her way back. Even if she had she wouldn’t have been able to get help because by then the door was locked again.”
His eyes met mine. “How did you know?” he asked.
“I had a dream about it,” I answered, my voice trembling. “She was lying limp on the ground, and then I saw bushes and plants around her… and I heard the stream.”
“Will she be alright?” Elisa asked, breaking the tension that was so heavy in the air.
“She was unconscious when I found her, but the doctor examined her and said that she would be okay. She also didn’t appear to have broken any bones, so now we’ll just have to wait and see.” Nathan said.
And that was exactly what we all did.
*
The next few days passed by in a haze, with people talking non-stop ab
out the incident and at the same time intensifying preparations for the festival on Saturday. I hadn’t been able to see Kate since she wasn’t allowed visitors while she was recovering, but our house parents had eased our fears the previous evening at dinner, with the news that she had woken up and was getting better.
The festival was more than enough to thoroughly occupy everyone’s minds, but people were still questioning how Kate had managed to get lost in a forest that had been inaccessible to everyone for more than five decades. The rumor was that since Nathan had been the one to find her, he had also been the one to have initially discovered it, but how that knowledge had been passed to Kate when there was no apparent relationship between the both of them had been the major issue.
Of course the authorities had probably discovered the answers- at least to an extent since no one had yet mentioned a journal or the owner – but we were only given the bare bones of the incident, and informed that Kate was doing well.
Nathan had been removed from his position as the interim head of the Pendle house, and since the afternoon of Kate’s return, there had been no sign of him. James had told me that he was in his room and awaiting instructions from the school, because of course someone would have to be held responsible for the entire mess.
When I heard that Kate’s parents would be taking her home to get better medical attention, I headed over to the infirmary to try to see her before she left. I expected to have to grovel my way through to be able to see her, but was completely surprised when the nurse immediately let me in as soon as I told her that my name was Lenora.
Kate was on the bed that I’d been on weeks ago. She was dressed in a blue clinic gown and was on her side; her hands hanging limply towards the floor and her brown eyes, behind a pale looking face. She watched me as I approached.
I drew a chair up so that I could sit beside the bed, and was surprised when she rolled onto her back and despite the difficulty, lifted herself up to lean against the wall.
“Hi,” I said and though she held my gaze, it took her a few more seconds to say anything.