When things got ugly, Tim got to spend time with Barbara.
Deciding it was time to save JaKobi from himself, Tim took the lead. Turning to face Seraphina, he knelt on one knee. “It seems our trip to the desert has been slightly delayed, but I would be more than happy to take you and your men through the portal as planned before we depart.”
Seraphina lifted Tim. “I’d tell you to stop bowing, but truth be told I kind of like it.” Tristholm’s leader flashed him a quick smile that said, please make sure to go out of your way in the future. “My men are already on the way with our carriage for the return trip. It would be such a waste to have sent them all that way for nothing.”
“Plus, it will be nice to get some time alone together.” Joe took Seraphina’s hand and gave it a gentle kiss. “Between her ruling a city and me trying to open another restaurant, we’ve been kind of swamped.”
JaKobi held up a finger and exclaimed, “Busy bees get the honey.” He looked around at all the confused faces. “Early bird gets the worm and all that.”
“Stop talking.” Cassie nudged him again.
Seraphina almost giggled. “It’s not getting the worm I’m worried about.”
Joe looked like he was about to faint. ShadowLily’s cheeks turned bright red. Everyone else smirked. It wasn’t as if Tim hadn’t said worse himself. It was just he tended to make his overtures in private to cut down on the humiliation factor.
Trying to wipe the grin off his face, Tim turned away from the couple and focused his attention on Brother Colton. “We require access to the quick travel portal.”
“Of course, of course.” The priest looked flustered. “I’m so sorry about all this. I told Jessi not to bother you, and now we’ve delayed your plans over what might amount to nothing.”
ShadowLily casually draped an arm over Brother Colton’s shoulders. “If we get out there and find nothing, I’m holding you personally responsible.”
“Me? But I don’t want you to go,” the priest stammered.
Tim couldn’t help but laugh. If he were in the same spot as their rotund friend, he would have been equally worried. Thankfully, he knew she was only screwing with him a little. If they lost a few hours chasing down a lead that didn’t pan out, it wouldn’t be the worst use of time in history. He simply wanted to make sure they weren’t always getting sidetracked.
“Leave the poor guy alone. He’s worried enough,” Tim called from behind them. “If the foreman’s lying, I’m sure Brother Colton’s punishment will be swift and severe.”
The priest stopped walking as if the idea of someone lying to him had just occurred to him as a possibility. “I don’t think Jim would do such a thing. If there is a harpy, he certainly won’t be in charge any longer.”
“Wait, the temple owns a farm?” Cassie blurted from behind them.
Brother Colton smiled and nodded with satisfaction. “Several. We don’t do anything fancy, only grains and potatoes, a few fresh herbs for our kitchens. You’d be surprised how many hungry people you can feed with bread and potatoes.”
“So the farm we’re heading to is one of the temple’s?” Tim grinned. “Wouldn’t surprise me if we found something then. Vitaria wasn't exactly thrilled with us the last time we saw her.”
ShadowLily nudged Brother Colton back into motion. She turned her smirk on Tim. “You always think everything is a trap.”
“That’s why we’re still alive.” He held up one finger like a very important person making a proclamation. “Prudent planning and proper timing are the keys to every victory.”
Cassie barked out a harsh bray of laughter. “Fuck off. Normally, I just run forward and hit things with my stick.”
Brother Colton snickered while leading the way into the temple’s portal chamber. “Oh, I’m sure there’s more to it than that. Otherwise, anyone could be an adventurer.”
Tim laughed while thinking back to some of the bad players he’d been unfortunate enough to play with in other games. Some people honestly didn’t know what they were doing wrong and improved greatly with a few hints about positioning and rotation. Others seemed almost willingly bad, like a DPS that managed to do less damage than if they auto-attacked the entire fight.
One of his favorite MMOs didn’t have an in-combat resurrection mechanic, so if someone died, that was it. They were out the rest of the fight. When his guild had content on farm, a death or two didn’t mean that much, but when you were working on progression, staying alive mattered.
Sometimes raiding was amazing, and other times it felt like someone repeatedly punched you in the boys and asked you to thank them for it.
Hardcore gaming wasn’t for everyone.
When it came to raiding, Tim used to be proud of his elite status and always looked down on those he perceived not to be putting in the effort. Going to college quickly dispelled any misconceptions that he had on how much time a person should dedicate to their time in the game. He also stopped caring about different difficulty settings for the raids. It didn’t matter to him if you raided on the hardest level. Raiding was supposed to be fun, and it didn’t lower his enjoyment if someone else could beat the game on an easier setting.
He used to bitch endlessly about how creating different levels of the same encounter took away precious development time from creating new content. Now he understood that part of the reason they always had shiny new content is that more people played the game when they could have fun at their pace.
Not everyone was raiding four hours a night, six days a week, pushing for world firsts. Most people raided a couple of nights a week and maybe popped in for some dailies or simply to chat. Real life had to take precedence over raid life unless you found a way to get paid for it.
The best part about being in The Etheric Coast was there wasn’t really a work-life balance to flesh out. His work literally was his life. Tim loved that every day in this game he got to wake up and take on new challenges.
Although a little extra time to plan wouldn’t hurt.
In some regards, deciding to live inside a virtual world made things easier for him. He didn’t have to worry about much right now. His streaming contract took care of his POD fees, and everything else they did, while sometimes stressful, really was for fun.
No one ever wanted their fun to feel like work.
He laid his hand against the portal and thought about where he wanted to go. The wavering blue light formed into an image of a cavern. “Your destination awaits.”
Joe scooped Seraphina up into his arms and stepped through. Tim could hear her scolding him before they vanished from sight. Seraphina’s guards stomped through the opening after them.
Maybe this delay was a good thing. Knowing Seraphina, by the time they stepped through the portal into the city of Elmore’s Hallow, there would be all kinds of conveyances set up. Merchants hawking wares and doing repairs. As well as food.
They might not have taco trucks in The Etheric Coast, but maybe Joe could have a little sandwich stand. If he could use the portal to send orders back to Tristholm, he wouldn’t even need to set up another kitchen.
Magic was so amazing. It could accomplish just about anything.
The last of the royal guards tromped through the portal, and Tim took his hand off the cool metal surface. He turned away from the device and looked at his group. “Who’s ready to hunt down a harpy?”
“Lorelei already went to get the horses.” ShadowLily shrugged.
It seemed as though Tim wasn’t the only one ready to get back out there and kill some things. Despite his grumpy attitude over the morning, there wasn’t anything he’d rather be doing. There would be plenty of time for sleep after they dealt with this little issue, and another night staying in the castle didn’t sound so bad.
Walking down to the temple’s stables didn’t take long. The area looked different now that zombies weren’t covering it. It kind of took him by surprise. Tim hadn’t been back on this side of the temple since the incident with the werewolves. B
rother Colton had done a masterful job getting the place back in order. He’d have to remember to tell the High Priest how impressed he was next time he saw him.
Lorelei waved at the group to get their attention. “These are the best of the bunch. Make sure to treat your horse with respect, and if you have any treats, it never hurts to share.”
Three of the horses whinnied and one stamped its foot.
The ranger pointed at a large bucket with the word treats painted on a makeshift sign above it before flipping onto her horse with a casual grace Tim knew he’d never be able to match. He might not be able to flip onto a horse like an elven rider from the myths, but he could certainly bribe his noble steed better than the rest of them.
Tim reached into the container and grabbed two juicy green apples. He tucked one into his robes for later and kept one out for what would surely become his newest friend. Moving down the line, Tim stopped in front of a beautiful black mare and remembered his father reading him the book as a child.
He reached out and scratched the horse's nose. “I think we’re going to be good friends.”
The horse nudged Tim’s other hand, and the jig was up. It only took him a moment to make sure his hand was flat before he felt comfortable lifting the tasty treat for his glorious steed. Foam frothed from the horse's mouth as it finished up the snack, which ruined the image of him riding majestically to their destination.
She’s lucky I like them a little rough around the edges.
The horse nudged his arm out of the way, searching his robe for the other apple. Tim pushed her nose away with a laugh. “That one’s for later.”
An attendant came forward and slipped a saddle onto the horse for him. Tim noticed there was a name stenciled into the saddle's leather.
Sadie.
“What a beautiful name for a beautiful horse.” He kicked his leg up high to get it in the stirrup and vaulted into the saddle with a thump. Sadie seemed to grunt as she took his full weight. “Come on. It’s not that bad. You could have had him.” Tim pointed at Brother Colton as he climbed onto a stool and into the saddle.
Sadie whinnied in a way that said same-diff.
“Better watch it, or you’re not getting that other apple.” Tim laughed as they followed Lorelei out on the trail.
This was it. They were off on another adventure. Tim didn’t know why, but these little quests that felt like side missions always ended up providing him with the best rewards. This wasn’t even a quest really, only a hint that something might be happening. The smell of opportunity was in the air, and he loved it.
He pointed his finger in the direction they were already going. “I said to the cabbie, yo Holmes, smell ya later.”
“Babe, I don’t think we’re going to Bel Air,” ShadowLily purred as she moved her horse up next to him.
“Well, we’re going somewhere, so my statement still stands.” Tim laughed. “In other words, that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.”
ShadowLily gave him a look as if she was seeing him for the first time. “It’s a good thing you have a cute butt.”
Tim thought about being offended, but he did have a great butt. So instead of mock indignation, he smiled into the sun and leaned back in the saddle for a long ride. A single notification appeared in his vision as Lorelei shared the quest she’d received from Jessi with all of them.
Quest Received: Farm To Table
Jessi thinks a harpy may be attacking a farm run by the temple. While Brother Colton says it might all be nonsense, the girl was extremely persistent. Go to the farm and find out the truth of the matter. If there is a harpy, deal with the problem.
Reward: Why does everything in life have to come with a reward? Can’t you help someone out of the kindness of your heart?
Tim accepted the quest.
Chapter Eight
The farm was bigger than Tim expected.
Rolling fields of golden brown wheat stretched onward for what seemed like miles. Tim remembered the chill and the cold he’d felt on their way to Tristholm and wondered how this was possible. Then he realized they were in a world of magic, and literally anything was possible. In fact, if Tim really thought about it, fields of shimmering wheat growing in a winter climate were one of the least remarkable things he’d seen since coming into the game.
It was still cool as shit.
Without magic, fields of crops like these in such a cold climate wouldn’t have been possible. Tristholm would have to rely on trade and the summer harvest to see them through the winter. One wrong move and a lot of people would die from starvation. Eternia and the temple creating fields like this changed the game for the people living out here. Year-round growing and keeping the price of flour down was probably doing wonders for Seraphina’s reputation as a leader.
Many a ruler lost their head over the price of bread.
It was crazy to think that people in the real world could still starve to death. With all of the world’s access to technology, a reasonable person might believe that starving kids would be a thing of the past. While Tim hated those late-night commercials where they tried to scam you out of money using the images of kids, he still knew there was a real need out there to make sure this didn’t continue to happen. It kinda felt like being able to eat, and access to a decent education should be more of a right and less of a privilege.
Still, there were plenty of dedicated scientists working to solve the problem back in the real world. It was amazing how they could breed different traits into plant genetics. Drought-resistant if you needed it, or maybe it was cold, or the heat that would kill a crop in a certain location. Those problems were quickly becoming issues for past generations. It was amazing what people could do with science. Most of it went right over Tim’s head, but he sure loved to read about it and imagine where the future would go.
I’m going to drive a hovercar before I die. I just fucking know it!
As nice of a horse as Sadie was, nothing beat kicking back in a comfortable seat for long trips. If you had a nice enough car, it was like you couldn’t even feel the road. Riding a horse to your destination was a little rough on the legs, his ass, and it kept smashing his two coconuts together in the most uncomfortable way.
Maybe cowboys had padded balls.
Sometimes he felt maybe his generation was soft. It wasn’t as though they woke up, had to walk a mile down to the stream to get water for breakfast, then spent the day doing hard manual labor. Tim’s normal morning routine consisted of a small hit off his vape, a ginormous cup of coffee, and plopping down in front of his laptop to game or catch up on the homework he missed while gaming the night before.
At least I don’t have to try and write a ten-page paper in four hours again.
Tim snickered to himself as they drew closer to a large cluster of buildings. What was with college and all the papers anyway? It wasn’t as if a person didn’t retain knowledge without writing a massive essay and listing the thirty million resources they found on the internet.
Life must have been so much simpler when all people had were encyclopedias.
Sometimes he wished he could tell someone he knew something without giving an hour’s dissertation about where he garnered the information. Granted, people were starting to get used to fact-checking things they heard from others. In the age of social media, a person was only a scroll away from being bombarded with fake news or someone screaming that real news was fake.
Life must be infinitely easier for a horse.
Sadie tossed her head and craned it to the side. Tim swore she looked at him from one eye and sneered around her bit for a minute. The look said, you think you have it rough? I have a metal bar stuck in my mouth and a two-hundred-pound asshole on my back.
He leaned forward and patted Sadie’s neck. “I get you. As soon as we stop, I’ll get that thing out of your mouth and produce another tasty treat.”
Brother Colton trotted into the lead. “Follow me. I’ll take us directly to the foreman.”
They followed the priest until they dismounted in front of a gorgeous white farmhouse. Tim had always loved the idea of one. The buildings were usually one story with lots of windows and vaulted ceilings. The older ones tended to be broken up a little on the interior, but some of the renovated ones had wide-open living spaces.
Just because he liked to fall asleep to HGTV didn’t make him any less of a man. It simply ensured he knew what ShadowLily was talking about when she told him how she was decorating their place.
Tim shook off any future thoughts of farm living as the smell hit him in the nose like a knockout punch from Iron Mike. It was weird how an odor could hardly be there one instant, and the next, it enveloped a person like a bubble. It was worse than a summer road trip with the family, and you heard someone discreetly or not so discreetly roll a window down.
Nothing said family fun like long road trips and farts.
A man rushed out the front door, tucking in his shirt as he came. “Brother Colton, I wasn’t expecting another visit so soon.”
“Yes, and I wasn’t expecting to come.” The priest frowned, clearly not enjoying having his presence questioned. “Sadly, my acolyte Jessi roped these fine young people into traveling all this way. She still believes there’s a harpy out there.”
Giving their group a once-over before turning back to the foreman, Brother Colton leaned closer to the man as if sharing a secret. “These adventurers have a mission to complete for the Goddess Eternia, so please give them a tour of the grounds, and explain why their presence here isn’t needed.”
The foreman looked a little taken aback by their appearance and credentials but managed to compose himself quickly enough. He extended a hand to Tim. “I’m sorry if you wasted any time coming all this way. There really is nothing to see out here.”
ShadowLily looked around the empty yard. “Things must virtually run themselves if you can take a break in the middle of the day.”
Brother Colton wore a look of shock as if it had only now registered that it was odd for someone in charge of the farm to be inside while everyone else was out working. “Jim, the young lady has a point. Maybe we should step inside and see what’s going on.”
Deserts Of Naroosh Page 7