by Lexy Timms
“I’ll just start from the beginning, because that’s the easiest way to tell the story.” Katherine paused, taking another deep breath before adding, “I-uh, I’ve never told anyone about this,” while pushing her hair behind her ears and looking to Ben.
“It’s okay. You can trust me,” he heard himself say.
“I know,” she smiled and continued. “I met Tim about five years ago while I was working at a restaurant in Los Angeles. It was a high-end restaurant, and I was slated to learn directly from the head chef.” Katherine smiled, recalling the memory. Ben could sense it was a special memory, and he recalled Katherine mentioning an interest in cooking in the past. He nodded while listening as he made a mental note to find a way to reconnect her with that aspiration.
“Anyway, Tim came in on a business meeting one afternoon and he was seated in my section. Honestly, he was a dick to the guy he was with, and to another server. I should have known then that he was bad news, but no matter how rude and nasty he was to everyone else, when I came to the table he was really kind and well mannered.
“He was a regular, so everyone knew about his attitude problem, only I never saw it. My first time waiting on him was a lesson in patience, which was another red flag. Everything had to be just how he liked it. The other servers would joke that he thought it was his restaurant. He made so many changes to his order, it was like he created another meal. I’m sorry. I know that’s an unimportant detail, but it just stands out when I think back to it. I should have known then that he was not the type of person to compromise on anything.”
“Sweetheart, you don’t have to apologize for anything. You can tell me as many details as you want. Everything is clearer in hindsight, so don’t hold that against yourself,” Ben said, as he rubbed her knee gently.
“Well, we started dating soon after that first time I waited on him at the restaurant. He was very flashy, so we would go out to different places—it was a whirlwind romance for me. He had a different lifestyle than me altogether, and he invited me into a world that I never knew existed. We would sit courtside at basketball games, or drive up to Malibu and stay at his beach house.
“It was all about fun, and we used to laugh nonstop. When I think back to that time in my life, I can honestly say that I had no inkling of what I was in for. Tim was respectful and kind. He listened to me, or at least it felt like he did,” Katherine giggled softly at the recollection before continuing.
“I was... happy. Life was simple and we were having a good time. I’d say the first red flag came when he asked me to quit my job. He couldn’t understand that I was in line to be taught by one of the most respected chefs in the world. He was embarrassed to say he was dating a waitress. I can remember a time he told me about lying to a friend by saying I was an aspiring actress and that waitressing was just how I paid the bills.
“That’s a common story in LA, but it wasn’t mine. I didn’t understand why my truth wasn’t enough for him, but that was just it. I was never enough for Tim.”
Ben had to force himself through a deep breath as he listened to Katherine reliving such painful memories. He could tell how hurt she was by everything that had happened—not just the previous night, but in her life in general. Ben hoped she found some sort of relief from sharing the story, but hated that all he could do was rub her knee to show his support.
“He wanted me to fit into a tiny box, and I loved him, or at least I thought I did, so I twisted and squeezed myself into that box as much as I could manage. By the time he proposed, he was the center of my universe. Everything started and stopped with Tim and his career. I quit my job at the restaurant soon after we were engaged, because I didn’t want him to have to tell his friends that his fiancée was a waitress.
“That was the beginning of me breaking off pieces of myself, in order to be who I thought Tim wanted me to be. He was still kind most of the time at this point, but he was growing tired of the partners at his firm. Wanting more independence, he decided to buy them out and go into business for himself.
“After our huge wedding, his new firm launched. We would always joke that our wedding anniversary was also the anniversary of his business.” Katherine shook her head, a soft laugh falling from her lips as she lifted the mug for another sip of tea.
Ben followed suit, wishing he had finished his tea earlier because it had gotten cooler than he preferred. Katherine didn’t seem bothered by it, taking a break as she recalled her life.
“I’ve never owned a business, but I imagine that it’s stressful,” Katherine looked to Ben for approval, but he offered none. For him, business had not been the stressful endeavor that people wrote about in books. When his business took off from his dorm room in college, Ben continued to follow the wave of success quicker than his counterparts, so he had never been able to relate to the overstressed, underpaid entrepreneur.
“It got bad fast,” Katherine sighed. “He had bought a huge house—I think he thought it would impress me—but it was cold and foreign. No matter what I ever bought, nothing could make that place feel like a home. I think Tim had overextended himself on the mortgage, and he was constantly stressed about finances and his career.
“Everything was about moving up in the industry, and I was just another piece of his puzzle. We would go to events four nights a week so he could meet clients and rub elbows with celebrities, but it was clear early on that I was the more likable of the two of us, and at every function I would get more attention than he did. I secured his first big client, actually,” Katherine smiled proudly.
Ben returned the smile, remembering how charismatic she had been at Will’s charity event. He could imagine that an insecure man would find it difficult to be overshadowed by someone as beautiful and smart as Katherine. Ben thought of how valuable she must have been to Tim if she was securing business for him, and shook his head at the idea that Tim didn’t realize the advantage he had.
When Katherine began telling her story, Ben made a silent promise to himself to withhold any questions so that she wouldn’t be interrupted. Now, he was curious about so many things—like what Tim did for a living, and why Katherine had given up cooking altogether after quitting her job at the restaurant.
“He didn’t like me helping him, because that made him feel like his success wasn’t his own. That was how Tim wanted it. Everything had to be about him all the time. But I didn’t mind taking a backseat. I was only going to the events because he wanted me to, so if I was being too outgoing, I was happy to turn it down a notch.
“Tim wasn’t for that, so he just stopped taking me as frequently. I was thrilled with that plan. Freeing my time up meant I could finally focus on my culinary dreams. I understood that Tim didn’t want me learning at a restaurant because of his reputation, but I thought he would find college or private lessons to be an acceptable alternative.”
Ben knew before Katherine continued that Tim wouldn’t be reasonable about her desire. Any man who cared so much about what others thought of him would never want her to achieve success on her own. It sounded to him like Katherine had married a profoundly insecure guy who defined himself by his success.
“Turns out, Tim just didn’t want me to follow my dream at all. He was rude about it, and like always I just let it go. Looking back, I think it was my letting it go that always pushed him to go further. I never stopped him, or stood up to him. Whenever Tim wanted something, I gave it. Any change he thought needed to happen, I conformed. I thought that was what a good wife was supposed to do.”
“It’s not your fault, Katherine. Nothing he ever did to you was your fault,” Ben urged, pulling Katherine closer to him.
“First, it was little stuff. He would insult me, about the smallest things. It was mean, but I thought it was harmless. He was going through a lot at work, and I didn’t want to add to the stress, so I didn’t want to fight. He’d try everything to bait me into arguments, cursing and screaming, but I just took it. I don’t know why I didn’t fight back,” Katherine shook
her head as if she still couldn’t understand her behavior.
“Sweetheart,” Ben whispered, his heart breaking at the turn in her marriage he knew was coming. He had heard enough, and didn’t want to force Katherine to go any further.
“I want to tell you all of it,” she assured him, looking into his eyes to show her sincerity. “He started manipulating me emotionally—telling me he was going to do one thing and then intentionally not doing it, just to hurt me. He stood me up on a vacation once. I got all the way to the airport, only to get a call from him. Tim said he had gotten stuck in traffic on the way to the airport. That there was no way he could make it in time, but he promised to reschedule. He was laughing at me when I got back to the house. Tim hadn’t packed a thing—he never intended on going.
“Even that wasn’t too much for me. It was just in the last year before I left that he started hitting me. It was rare and almost always after one of his Hollywood events with his famous clients. The pressure of success was hard for him to manage, and I was his punching bag,” Katherine reasoned.
“You’re not anyone’s punching bag!” Ben shocked Katherine and himself with his outburst. Unable to contain his disgust, he had to correct her.
“Thank you,” she smiled sweetly, placing her hand over Ben’s as he rubbed her knee. Realizing how tense he was, Ben tried to lean back against the sofa to relax. It was hard listening to Katherine’s heartbreaking story, and he knew it was about to get worse.
“The physical abuse was my breaking point. It happened again and again, and while he always said he was sorry, it continued to escalate. I made a plan and started quietly saving money. He was very generous after he’d hurt me, with gifts or an increased allowance. I kept it in a back account so it was safe no matter what. Then one evening, without giving him any warning, I left. All I took with me was one bag of clothes. The rest I just left behind. Everything he had bought me while we were together meant nothing and I didn’t want any of it. Though he accused me of it regularly, it was never about his money, what he had, or what he could do for me. I thought we loved each other and I wanted to share a life with him.
“So, I got, but of course, he didn’t let walk away easily. And he has enjoyed making my life hell for the entire two years since I left.” Katherine shook her head again, looking sad and frustrated.
Ben’s eyebrows rose with interest as he contemplated her last statement. “Wait. What? You left him two years ago?” That had been one of the burning questions he’d had since he saw the obnoxious man at the charity event. “He’s still bothering you after all that time?”
“Yes. Before last night, I hadn’t actually spoken to Tim in over two years,” Katherine clarified, looking into Ben’s eyes as if she knew just how much the answer to that question meant to him.
“Why are you still married?” Ben asked the number one question he’d been asking himself over and over.
“Tim is one of the top defense attorneys in LA. With his connections and resources, I can’t fight him in the court system. Not fairly, anyway. I knew it would be a disaster if I ever tried to take him to court, and honestly, I was afraid of really getting hurt. So, I've just been on the go—hopping from one place to the next, trying he keep two steps ahead of him since I left,” Katherine explained.
“On the go? You move around the city a lot or what?” Ben asked, a bit confused by Katherine’s last statement.
“Not exactly. Tim sends people out looking for me, so I move to a city for a while, then leave once they find me. Typically, it’s taken a couple months, and then I move on. I’ve been to over a dozen cities in the past two years, maybe more. But San Francisco is the first place that has felt like home since I left LA. It’s the first time I’ve gotten my own place and really built a life,” Katherine said, barely getting the last word out before yawning loudly.
Ben had completely forgotten how tired she must have been. She had shared enough for now and he didn’t want to keep her up any longer. Without warning, he lifted Katherine into his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around her small body. Though dressed in his clothes, she smelled like fresh lavender from the bath oils, even sweeter than normal.
“You must be exhausted. Why don’t you try to get some rest,” he suggested.
Initially, Katherine started to protest, but soon her head was resting against his chest, and Ben was grateful. Listening to her breathing, he mirrored her rhythm with his own until their chests rose and fell in unison. As his own eyelids grew heavier, Ben thought about how good it felt to finally have Katherine back where she belonged, safely in his arms.
Chapter Nine
Katherine
IT WAS DARK AND COLD in the home that resembled a castle. Hiding in a back room they rarely used for anything other than guests, Katherine could hear Tim marching through the house as he searched for her. His steps were heavy and from the slurring of his words, she knew he had been drinking.
It seemed that more and more frequently he was coming home from his Hollywood parties with an axe to grind. Katherine had barely recovered from his last late night of closed fists and hurtful insults. She didn’t want to be his punching bag tonight, so she hid in silence, listening closely for his every move.
“Where the fuck are you, you stupid bitch?!” Tim yelled so loudly Katherine thought the walls shook. She gasped from the shock of his tone, and instantly regretted it.
“Oh, I hear you now.” His voice grew closer with every word until the bedroom door swung open.
With reddened eyes and a tired look on his face, Tim walked into the room. Katherine knew him well enough to know he was looking for a fight, but she wanted no part of him, so she tried to calmly walk past him on her way out.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” He sneered and Katherine could feel his fingertips scratching along the surface of her scalp before he pulled a handful of her blonde hair out, sending her body flailing until she hit the wall so hard the plaster cracked.
Awakened with a jolt, Katherine was panting as she glanced around in need of familiarity. When she realized where she was, and could see that Ben was sleeping peacefully, her breathing slowed. Ben didn’t wake up, but he wrapped his arm around her as if he could sense her shifting energy.
Katherine placed a gentle kiss on his forehead as she carefully climbed from his lap, impressed when she completed the act without waking him. It was time for her to return to her apartment, and she didn’t want to keep putting it off as she normally would.
Tim could be anywhere, and that was enough to scare Katherine from doing anything. But she had to get on with her life and find a new place to live. It didn’t matter that she hadn’t told Tim her address, he had ways of finding out and she knew it wouldn't be long before he wiped out her apartment, leaving her with nothing all over again.
“Are you okay?” Ben asked groggily as he rubbed his eyes. He was watching Katherine with curiosity as she folded the gown she had retrieved from his bathroom.
“I have to get back to my place. Go back to sleep,” Katherine explained, hoping not to impede on Ben’s day any further.
She felt awful that things had gone so badly at the charity event, but then to pop up in the middle of the night on top of it was too much. Katherine wanted to give him some space. It wasn’t clear what was going to happen between them, but she didn’t want to push him away, not when he was the only place she felt safe.
“Sweetheart,” Ben began, his fatigue setting in as a yawn overtook him. With his arms outstretched, he continued, “I’ll take you home.”
“Ben, you’ve done enough,” Katherine insisted. She was still feeling a little uncomfortable about the way she had bombarded him and wanted to be fair.
He wasn’t accepting her argument, however, and got to his feet without debating her further. Katherine watched him stretch his arms and yawn once more before he came to kiss her forehead and wrapped his arms around her, smothering her with affection.
“Let me just grab my wallet, I�
�ll be right back,” Ben said, before walking off.
Watching him walk away, Katherine allowed herself to daydream a different scenario for her life in the few seconds it took him to make it to his bedroom. If she had found Ben before her husband, maybe she would have had everything she’d thought she signed up for.
Ben was the caring and protective man she had always wanted, and after sharing her darkest secret with him, she felt even closer than before. If only she had the power to write her own life, Katherine was certain she would remove Tim from her memory, spending her life with Ben, instead.
But she wasn’t in charge, and she had made the decision to tie herself to Tim Marshall, still bearing the name of the man who had caused her the most pain. Her head dropped a tad, thinking about how her life had been derailed when she chose to date him.
On cue, Ben reappeared, looking more refreshed. His hair was smoothed down, and with his beard already growing back a bit after his fresh shave for the gala, he looked good. His gray eyes zeroed in on Katherine as he approached her, tilting her head up with his index finger on her chin as he searched her face.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked, with concern clouding his face.
“I have to go back,” Katherine explained.
“I get that, I know. But is it safe knowing he’s in town? I’m not sure about you being alone right now,” he reasoned.
“I just need a little space to work things out in my mind. I had to come to you first to make sure everything was explained before it was too late. But I still have to process this and figure out what I’m going to do,” Katherine explained.
“You’re not alone in this, Katherine. You’ve done everything right and I’ll help you in every way I can,” Ben vowed with the deepest sincerity.