by Olga GOA
Beautiful Veronica stood in the passage of the kitchen and watched him with a curious look. Her hair was loose; her niveous nightgown covered her petite feet. The robe was gathered to a waistband under her breasts and in particular, emphasized Veronica’s pregnancy. The nightdress did not uglify her but only gave her a form of undeniable enticement.
Veronica looked like a homemaker. A radiant enchantress made of the flowers of the summer forest.
“Not sleeping, sorceress?” Milano grinned, approaching his Veronica in one big step.
“Waiting for you... and you came, my King!” Veronica smiled back, twisting her curl on her long, artistic finger.
“You look like a queen in that nightgown!” Milano beamed. “Who gifted you this piece of fashion? I don’t recall such a gift from me.”
Milano asked this question not with an iota of politeness, but out of jealousy. He was afraid that someone better would come into Veronica’s life and take her away. After all, his goddess was beautiful and smart; she was sensual, passionate in bed, and incredibly charming.
So what kind of man would not notice such a tasty morsel? More like, an idiot.
“Fra and Lu gave it to me. They noticed that the nightshirts are so small.” Veronica responded in a second.
“But why didn’t you ask me to buy it? Am I not worthy of your attention?!” the mood of Milano had changed, and by the end of the speech, he was talking in a raised voice.
“And why are you angry for something so trivial? Did I get a gift from a stranger that you are so pissed off? This man is your brother!” Veronica frowned at his silly pretensions. “I’ve never been in the habit of asking people for anything. Even living with my aunt, I fed myself using a scholarship and rarely took money from her. I tried to do everything by myself.”
“I’m not everyone! I am the closest person to you at the moment!” Sharp notes sounded in the voice of Milano. He was irritated by the idea that Veronica avoided closer communications with him. What was he doing wrong?
“Forgive me, Milano...” Veronica breathed out, thinking about how to soothe her beloved. “I didn’t wish to upset you.”
“I see,” Milano barked, daring to walk past his little fairy.
“What do you see?” Veronica spoke ironically, snatched his hand and lifted it to her rounded belly. “Tell me, Demon...” she asked him with a smirk.
Milano’s anger vanished when he felt a small jolt with his hand. His eyes froze on Veronica’s face, and he became as happy as a child. Emotions encircled Milano in an elegant waltz, and his nose slightly pricked from tears. Their baby touched him.
“Is he pushing already?” Milano was able to squeeze just these words out of him. He still was holding a hand on the belly of his goddess.
“Our baby says―“Hello, Dad! I’m here!” Veronica laughed, seeing the light on her Demon’s face when he tried to hide his feelings.
Due to the impulse, Milano knelt in front of Veronica and gently kissed her tummy. He leaned his ear to her belly, hugging Veronica’s waist. He stood on his knees for a long time, until the baby again announced his presence. Milano grinned at the fighting spirit of his unborn child and kissed Veronica’s belly again. It was a miracle of miracles for him to see the manifestation of God in the womb of his Amazon. And Veronica just stroked Milano’s hair while he enjoyed the silent contact with their baby.
“He will be a football player!” breaking the cloud of Veronica’s thoughts, Milano said proudly. “He already hit me three times!”
“Why do you think there will be a son?” Veronica argued. “I want a daughter... she’ll remind me of you!”
“I don’t want a daughter!” Milano jumped up from the floor, speaking every word through his teeth. His incomprehensible malice on the subject was the key to his Dark Self. It was dangerous for Veronica to let him run into the ground, but she was eager to get to the truth.
“But why Milano? What do you have against girls?” Veronica was upset because of his opinion about her sex.
“I won’t let her become like Sofia!” Milano blurted inadvertently and became silent.
“Who is that, Milano?” The new name of who she guessed was her Italian’s ex-girlfriend struck Veronica like lightning. Who was Sofia to Milano, and why was he so afraid his daughter would become like her? Did something terrible happen to Milano in his youth?
“This is none of your business!” Milano snarled, flying out of the kitchen and sweeping away everything in his path. A dark, icy horror was readable on his tired face. His sapphire-emerald eyes no longer resembled the sea; they turned into black ice.
Veronica was scared of such a glance from her man. Did she reach the critical point in their relationship and is it over now?
“A taboo subject?” Veronica queried, coming to the sofa in the living room where Milano was sitting. She touched him gently on the shoulder, but Milano didn’t even twitch. “Your silence will not make our lives better,” she concluded wisely. “Please baby, open up to me. You shouldn’t keep it to yourself. People get sick because of their sad thoughts…”
“What if I say I’m sick?”
Milano’s devil’s laughter chilled her to the bone like coldness. Veronica shouldn’t have dived into the hornet’s nest of her Demon’s world. Although she didn’t want to lose his love either. No one could convince her that she was wrong about his feelings.
“Well? Will you marry me now, Veronica? As you know, a contract with a demon is terminated only after the death...” Milano lifted his heavy glance at her, and Veronica shuddered. It wasn’t her Milano; it was a clone–cold, ruthless, cruel. He had no similarities with her Italian. He grabbed her in his arms and carried her to the third floor without a word.
Seating Veronica on his big bed, Milano began to undress and scatter his things around the room. He looked at her with a hungry gaze and became more and more boisterous.
Veronica almost reeled from his darkness. Damn… she thought. What is he thinking now?
“Nike...” Milano’s words sounded stressful when he nodded towards their bed. “Either you fall asleep right now, or I’ll fuck you. But I’ll do it the way I like. And how Sofia loved...” Milano looked away, freezing on the spot. His Veronica suddenly opened one side of his secret, and it was killing him. Slowly...
“Milano, I’m not Sofia. Why are you comparing me to her? I’m your future bride and wife, man. You have to respect me!” Veronica squeaked as Milano suddenly rushed to the door and locked it.
“All women are the same, whether you tell the truth or not. You all will still cheat on men in the end! This is the nature of your lies!” Milano bristled closer to Veronica. “Well, will you give pleasure to your future husband or should I do it myself?”
Veronica slapped him hard on the cheek, knowing she was taking a risk―he could do anything to her, and she knew it. This Milano was only vaguely like the Milano she met in Rome. He was more than dangerous; maybe a beast. In her mind, there was an accelerating process of cause and effect for sure. If she does the wrong thing, her child will suffer as well.
“Milano, I’ll stun you with a lamp if you touch me. I’m not kidding,” Veronica warned him as he rushed toward her. “Milano... You have to fight the demons inside you. I promised to help you, and I will, Milano... Please listen to me…”
The quiet voice of Veronica was tranquillizing Milano, but the screams of Sofia in his memories made his condition worse. The pain of soul and mind merged into a sharp spear of suffering that pierced all through poor Milano. He recoiled from Veronica, trying to fight the disease, but the demons didn’t allow him to do that. They wanted blood and torment.
“Damn it, Veronica. Don’t…” Milano pulled the door’s handle and flew out of the bedroom. Reaching the front door, he ran outside and disappeared into the city night.
Veronica started crying. This is not what she wanted tonight; she wanted peace and to see love from her Demon. But Milano’s secrets began to manifest―they couldn’t be hidden anym
ore. The secrets started to ruin their life again.
But better the bitter truth than the sweet lie, Veronica told herself, sighing. And she could only wait for the return of Milano from the street or search for him. But in her condition, a walk couldn’t work. It will only exacerbate the explosion of nerve cells and her baby’s health. And it turned out she had to choose between Milano and her child, but it was not possible for her. It was like taking out her soul when her heart was still beating or taking her heart out while her soul was still inside. And was she able to survive after that? No…
***
Veronica imagined what results their quarrel could have, what effect would her lightheadedness dangling after Milano have on her. If she goes outside in this condition, she may not come back home at all. She would lose her consciousness for sure and wouldn’t get up.
Veronica cared less about her situation; she was more worried about Milano. The fear that she wouldn’t find him, and that his psychological state would worsen, only pushed Veronica to take decisive action. She had an impulse to wake up Lucenzo and Francesca, but she didn’t wish to waste time on any explanations. The least said the soonest mended. Our ancestors were right about that, Veronica thought.
Throwing a light cloak over her shoulders and carefully going out into the street, Veronica turned her head in different directions. There was not a soul around; it was in the deep of night. Only the wind sometimes enveloped her long hair and slightly waved her gray autumn cloak. She pulled herself together, wrapped her clothes around her and cautiously descended the stairs. She had listened to the strange sounds; someone was moving in the Veneziani’s garden. She was a little alarmed about that, but she didn’t step back. However, she was not unusually timid not to check who was there; so she started canceling her desire to search the city for Milano. Veronica stopped; with some sixth sense, she believed that she shouldn’t be far away from the cottage.
After walking a few meters ahead, she turned over to the corner of the cottage. Veronica found herself in a small garden, surrounded by a long fence. Due to her precarious health during her early pregnancy, Veronica never walked here and was shocked to see it. To some extent, she was curious about who was working there at such a late hour and did not go to bed. She decided to check.
Going into the bottom of the garden, Veronica suddenly came upon a wooden bench and gasped. Light from the moon barely penetrated through the green thickets that wrapped around the dark fence. Although, Veronica still saw a man who was lying on the bench. That man was her escaped indocile dark Demon. She smiled slightly at him, applauding her female intuition about Milano. She doesn’t have to look for him around Rome and be nervous because of his quirks.
Veronica carefully sat down next to Milano on the bench, listening to his heavy breathing. He was dozing, tucked his work-worn hands under his cheek and curled up as a little boy. His beauty was undeniable and indescribable, but Veronica only now understood how it hid the real “I” of Milano. The “I” that he never opened to anyone, the “I” that hasn’t remained in the distant past but still caused him pain, and the “I” that made a different person out of him.
“Milano...” Veronica softly called her man, gently stroking his black hair. He mumbled something, rolling over on his back and straightening up on the bench.
“Milano...” she called him again, caressing his eyebrows, wide forehead and bristly cheek. “Are you sleeping, my Demon? Get up, or you’ll freeze... The night is not warm…”
Milano growled something and turned back to the right side. But when he felt someone’s warmth touch him, he slowly opened his eyes. Unbearable pain of the soul flickered in Milano’s eyes. It was as if he hated himself for what he did.
Veronica felt sorry for him.
“Why are you here? Go away, Veronica... I’m not worthy of you. I’m a sick man, and you need to find a normal man who can protect you, provide for you…” Milano cut himself off, coughing after a quick speech. He suspected that he had caught a cold and thought that it will be better for everyone if he dies.
“Do you want to give your baby to another man? Do you want to do what your mom did to you? Why, Milano? What happened in the past that made you run away from children and marriage? Just tell me…”
Milano’s eyes sparkled with droplets of tears; his heart ached because Veronica’s words were so exact. How could she see through him? How could she understand him as if she’d known him all her life? So many women shared a bed with him, and he forgot them fast, but Veronica penetrated his gut like the cresset of the Universe. The dark essence that lived with him since his early years could no longer hide from Veronica’s light. It howled and bit his soul and Milano only could endure the pain from this entity. He didn’t desire his dark essense to come out and kill everything. He will never forgive himself if something happens to the people he loved.
“Why are you keeping silent about your life?” Veronica almost whimpered with chagrin. Milano didn’t wish to talk to her. He was immersed in himself. “Say something, please... Your look is full of suffering, and I know that you won’t let me go. And if you will―you’ll bite your elbows, Milano.”
“What do you want from me?” He roared, jumping up from the bench. “I let you sleep alone tonight to avoid my next breakdown... But you’re so disobedient, Veronica, that I want to…”
Milano suddenly subsided, hearing how his animal spewed out of his dirty geysers of hate. It messed with Milano, reminding him that Veronica must be punished for crossing his borders.
But how could he punish his Angel? The angel who helped him to get rid of the vile animal that locked him up for so many years?
Veronica clung to Milano, kissing him hard on his cold lips. She missed him for half an hour, and she didn’t hold back her emotions. She hugged her Demon tightly, warming him up and mentally praying to God that He would help her to tame Milano’s demons.
“I love you, my gloomy King. I love you. Never doubt it. Never…”
“Don’t lie, Veronica. When I get very sick, you’ll leave me! You will!”
Milano tried to push Veronica away, to run from her, but he wasn’t able to. His heart did not ask about whom to reach out to and whom to sing his ode. His heart was aware of who was closer to him by spirit and vision of the world.
Veronica drowned out his bitter words with her deep sweet kisses. She attempted to break down all Milano’s barriers and walls to the ground.
“Let’s go home...” She asked him in a slightly hoarse voice. The energy was leaving her, fatigue was knocking her down. Her eyelids were dropping. “Or do you want me to freeze with you?”
“Don’t waste your tears on me, Amazon. They’re worth more than diamonds. You won’t kill the beast in me; Demon, Devil, whatever you call him. I am bound to him forever, and no one can defeat him. Because I know what I did…”
After Milano’s incomprehensible saying about what he had done in the past, Veronica was perplexed. Puzzles in her head did not add up; the problem was not yet solved. With a sigh, she ran her hand over her face, brushed off the battle with Milano’s ego. She should have waited for the best moment―more patience, a little more. This test will be too difficult, but she could stand it all as long as Milano believes in her love. As long as he doesn’t doubt her and allows her to love him.
“You are like a snail, Milano...” Veronica lowered her head, burying her crown in his chest. She barely touched his torso with her hands, gently stroking his body. She was afraid she would scare him off again. “Sometimes you hide in your house, sometimes you show yourself. It is so difficult to get you out of your kennel, my Demon.”
“Soon this snail will stop coming out of its house. It will stop forever...” Milano leaned down, kissing her neck and holding her shoulders firmly.
“Milano, you’re talking nonsense! You suppose I don’t know what you mean?” Veronica was consumed with anger about Milano’s suicidal thoughts. Why did she ponder about such things months ago? Now she has condemned her b
ad actions, and especially Milano’s. As Veronica thought, there is only one life and people had to cherish it.
“Why should you think about the Demon that seduced you? When he gets bored with everything, he will leave you alone with the child. The Demon will enjoy the club life until that life makes him put a bullet in his head. Or maybe, he will tighten the noose around his neck or die in a car crash! Don’t worry so much, Angel. I will go to where I’m supposed to be. Nobody wanted me in this world. My parents, especially…”
“Shut up, Milano!!! Shut up!!!”
Veronica endeavored to escape from his embrace, not wanting to absorb the pain that he poured on her. But everything was in vain―his hands held her like a steel vice. Her heart was tap-dancing, and Milano’s monstrous ideas never left her mind. Will she be able to live in peace when the crisis of his mental disorder hasn’t yet passed, and she should always be ready for it?
And what will happen if Milano goes too far in his ideas and his state that he cannot be stopped? Would her life be worse than living in Hell?
There was a turning point in their relationship―either she would forget about Milano’s past once and for all or not. And she won’t mention this topic, not tomorrow, not the day after, not in years, or she would invite professional doctors to help Milano to shuffle off his past. Then, the doctors will give him special treatment while she waits for her first baby to be born. Veronica wasn’t stupid and could see what Milano was suffering from. She thinly sensed his worst emotional experience as well.
“I feel so exhausted, Mino,” Veronica said suddenly as her legs began to pull her toward the bed.
Wrinkles visited Milano’s forehead and he bowed. He silently lifted Veronica without any words and took her out of the Veneziani’s garden. Entering the house, he carried her to his room and put her on the bed. Closing the door and setting the alarm, he turned on the kitchen light and grabbed a couple of pills and a glass of water.