by S. J. Sylvis
I felt his seething hot breath on my face as he towered over me. My heart thumped hard, and my vision was a tunnel to his mouth as the words continued to tumble out. “You can pretend all you want that you’re dark inside, Piper, that you’d take something so fucking personal and skew it to benefit yourself, but you and I both know that’s a lie.” I held my breath as Ollie’s hand cupped my chin. “You’re too good. You’re sweet. Caring. You wouldn’t do that because you know it would hurt Christian and me both. You don’t destroy others, Piper. You help others.”
I said nothing as he continued to hold my chin. The blues in his eyes sucked me in, and I felt myself becoming submissive. My body wanted to sink into him. I wanted to dive in deep. Ollie was the water, and I was completely on fire.
Ollie’s eyes searched mine as he asked, “Have you ever noticed that the broken ones are always the ones who help others?”
It felt like a knife was being thrusted into my chest.
“No,” I answered breathlessly, barely keeping my legs from giving out.
His grip on my chin tightened. “That’s because you’re the broken one, Piper. You’re too busy helping everyone else to realize you’re the one that needs help.”
The knife twisted with his words.
“I’m not broken.” A lump began to form in my throat at the validity of his words. I’m not broken.
“You are, Piper. Don’t you realize it? You instantly stepped in and helped Hayley the first day she arrived at English Prep, and you continued to do so even though it put your own life at risk.” I tried to shake my head, but Ollie’s grip wouldn’t let me. He shook his head, that stupid backwards baseball hat staying perfectly perched on top. “You’re helping your brother even though I’m certain he doesn’t deserve it. And I wonder how many times you’ve helped him in the past.”
Too many.
“And yet, you can’t see that you’re the one that needs a little help. You can’t do this on your own.”
I clenched my teeth together. I know I need help. I just don’t want it. “Well…you’re helping me, so what does that make you?”
Ollie and I stared at one another for far too long. The moment between us was full of crackling electricity. We were covered with an impenetrable blanket. “Broken,” he said, clenching his jaw. “It means I’m a little broken, too. And that’s how I know you won’t tell Christian. That’s not you, so stop pretending it is.”
I finally tore my chin away from him, and his hand fell swiftly from my face. I breathed in a heavy breath, like I was starved for oxygen. “You don’t know me, Ollie.”
He slowly walked away from me, and I wouldn’t dare look at him, because he was right. He was right about everything, and I hated it. I hated it so much.
This was exactly why I didn’t want him involved. Ollie saw right through me. He saw me, and now he was seeing all my flaws and just how messed up I truly was. How messed up my family was.
I was lying to my parents and my best friend. I was going down a rocky path, trying to save someone that wouldn’t even save themself.
“I do know you, Piper.” Ollie’s voice was distant, and I couldn’t shake the feeling it left me with even after the front door closed behind him.
I felt seen, and that scared me, because for once, it didn’t feel wrong.
Chapter Fourteen
Ollie
The vision of Piper wearing my shirt was all I saw. From the moment I woke up in the morning to the second I closed my eyes at night, I saw her. The smooth, toned legs hanging out from below the hem had me sweating even in a cold shower. And don’t even get me started on being in close proximity to her. It took everything I had inside of the teenaged horny part of me not to creep my knee in between her legs as I had her pinned against the tall, kitchen cabinets the other night. Her sweet breath fanned over my face, and her hurt, doe-like eyes sucked me in so far I didn’t think I’d ever be able to crawl out.
Piper had me in her grip. The hurt that flashed behind her green eyes…I felt that. In the past, I’ve teased her incessantly. I’ve flirted, only to turn around and leave her. I’ve pushed her away, only to pull her in at the last second. It was just how we were. But the other night, both of our shields were down, and I didn’t know if she noticed it, but I was at her mercy. I wasn’t playing. I wasn’t trying to make her uncomfortable. My body was acting on its own.
Piper had me at her mercy.
She needed saving, whether she wanted to admit that or not, and I was going to be the one to do it.
“What the fuck is going on with you?” I glanced to my left and saw my brother standing beside Eric, both of them staring at me.
“What?” I asked as I pulled myself back to reality. I quickly scanned the room and realized that Eric’s cabin was full of most of my classmates. When the fuck did they get here?
Christian straightened his shoulders. “You’ve been sitting in that same spot for over twenty minutes, lost in thought. Are you high? I thought you quit smoking.”
I shook my head. “I’m not high. I did stop smoking. I was just thinking, I guess.”
Eric raised his eyebrow. He’d been onto me since the day I made up that stupid shit about my book being left in his car when he and I both knew very well that it was a lie. I had to turn around later that day and make up another excuse when Christian asked why I’d never come back to class. He texted me four times before he all but demanded I tell him what was going on during lunch. I was lying to him more and more lately, and I wasn’t sure what was worse—lying to him over and over again about the little shit or keeping something big from him. If I just told him the truth about Dad, I’d probably never have to lie again. I wouldn’t have to avoid my dad at all costs, and I wouldn’t feel the need to race to escape anything. It would all be out in the open.
But then, what would that lead to?
I wasn’t sure where that would put the three of us. Things were good with my dad and Christian. I didn’t want to fuck it up.
Christian dipped his head in low. “Thinking about what? You okay?”
My lip tipped. “Bro, I’m fine. Why does everything have to have an underlying cause? I was just thinking about who I wanted to fuck tonight.”
Now that wasn’t really a lie, was it? I mean, Piper was on my mind seconds ago, and it seemed she was the only girl I wanted.
Eric stayed off to the side, still eyeing me incredulously. He wasn’t buying my shit at all. He didn’t believe a thing I’d said when I told him I was tuning my Charger for shits and giggles. Earlier, he’d dropped me off at the shop to pick it up, and when he’d heard my turbo whistling, his head damn near snapped off his neck. Brandon talked me into getting new injectors and some head studs along with the turbo, so underneath my Charger’s hood was a whole fucking party.
Piper and I hadn’t discussed the races since the other night at her house. I kept my eyes trained away from her face at school. I was afraid we’d get in another staring match and raise even more questions from Hayley and Christian.
Speaking of those two, Christian was pulled out of my space as Hayley entered the party. She wrapped her arms around him and tucked her face into the crook of his neck. “Leave your brother alone, Christian. He’s fine.”
I grinned. Hayley always had my back.
Standing up, I gazed around the room, trying to land on the only person I truly wanted to see. Some girls in the corner all smiled wide when I passed over them, and I winked in an attempt to appear normal.
“Where’s Piper?” I asked as Hayley came out from my brother’s grasp.
Nonchalantly, she answered, “Oh, she stopped at Andrew’s to talk to Cole.”
My heart thudded to the floor. What the fuck? Alone? Again? With him?
I knew I should have threatened him further the other night. Before Piper and I had left the races, I shot him a glare and told him to lose her fucking number. He was bad news, and I didn’t trust him.
My pulse drummed beneath my skin as I started t
o head for the door.
“Where are you going?” Christian called out, but I didn’t answer.
Just as I was pulling my keys out of my pocket, I collided with something small. My hand shot out to steady the person in front of me, and when my palm felt the soft skin underneath me, I instantly knew who it was.
“Piper?”
Her vivid green eyes were wide with shock. “Jeez! What?”
My head snapped over to Hayley as she stood back beside Christian with her arched eyebrow raised high. The grin on her face had me grinding my teeth. I knew what she was doing. She knew something was going on between her best friend and me, and she was trying to catch us in it. Hayley wasn’t as easily swayed like my brother was. She wanted a reaction out of me, and she knew she’d get it by awakening the jealous beast inside me.
Christian snickered as he looked from me to his girlfriend, then he shook his head and dragged Hayley away by the hand.
Piper looked from my face down to her arm where my hand still rested. “Why are you still holding my arm?”
My hand dropped immediately as I looked away. I felt trapped. On edge. I wasn’t exactly nervous to race tomorrow, but I was definitely worried about Piper being involved. I felt like things were slipping out of my control.
I slowly slipped my keys back into my pocket and began walking past her. Before I got too far, I whispered in her ear, “We need to talk. Find me later.” And then I headed straight for the keg.
Some malty beer should help calm my worries—at least for tonight.
Piper was becoming a staple in my head more and more as time went on. Especially now that I knew she was mixed up in some bad shit. My worries were at an all-time high, and if I let her overtake every part of my brain, that meant there was room for mistakes, and I had my own secret to worry about, too.
Chapter Fifteen
Piper
The deck railing was smooth along my palms as I held onto the edge, looking out below as my friends gathered around the bonfire that Eric so excitedly shouted about moments before. The fire roared to life in hues of orange and red as he poured gasoline over it, everyone yelling in their loud drunken manners.
Ollie was standing back, observing Eric throw some type of paper into the fire and periodically watching his brother and Hayley stare at one another with that intense connection they’d always had. Even from above, I could tell Ollie was struggling with whatever he was thinking about. The glow of flames danced along his high cheekbones and along the side of his jaw. His light hair was disheveled on top, as if he had run his hand through it before coming outside.
Ollie was attractive—and not in the way that most of these guys were. He was painstakingly beautiful. His smooth face, his deep-blue eyes, his smile that literally lit up a room. Whereas his brother was broody and dangerously hot with a smirk, Ollie was more of the glowing, made-straight-from-heaven, flawless type of beautiful.
He made my heart skip a beat. Whenever he shined that flirty smile my way, my stomach would dip low, even more so when I tried to ignore it. But the other night, in my kitchen, was different. He wasn’t his usual charming self, and I couldn’t get it out of my head. Sleep never came after he’d left. I kept tossing and turning in bed, wondering what would have happened if I had inched just a fraction closer to his body, how my body would have reacted if I had felt his lips on mine again.
It was a distant memory, but I would never forget the way kissing Ollie felt.
His kiss ruined me. I knew, after that night, I’d compare every kiss after to his.
I wondered if he remembered how it felt to kiss me. Was I like all the other girls he’d kissed? Or was I different, too?
Almost as if he heard me, he swung his attention up to the deck, and he landed on me. Half of his face was shadowed by the midnight sky, but the other half was glowing.
He slowly looked away, but before I knew it, he was making his way up the hill and over to the deck stairs.
No one else was up here besides me. Everyone was down around the fire or locked away in a bedroom somewhere, fooling around just like Ollie and I had done a year prior at Andrew’s.
“Hey.”
I kept my attention on the bonfire, almost too nervous to look Ollie in the face. Things had shifted between us after he came to my house. The truth was spewed, and I still wasn’t sure what to do with it. Ollie read me like I was his favorite book, and all I wanted to do was rip out every single page.
“Hey,” I said back, ignoring that pesky little dip in my belly.
Nothing was said between us for a little while. I watched the party down below, and Ollie stood back along the side of the cabin, staying a safe distance away from me. Maybe he felt the shift between us, too.
I was the first to break the silence. I slowly turned around and leaned against the railing. I covered my hands with the sleeves of my chunky sweater. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
It was hard to see Ollie as shadows from the night covered his body. I could only make out his silhouette, and that comforted me slightly. At least with his face in the dark, he couldn’t strip me bare with his eyes again. “Do what, exactly?”
I felt every word that left Ollie’s mouth cover my skin. His voice was tight, like he was angry about something.
I cleared my throat, pressing myself further into the deck railing. A couple of shouts and laughs came from down below, but I ignored those and focused on Ollie’s shadow. “Racing. Racing for Tank. Paying my brother’s debt. Helping me.”
Ollie emerged from his shadow, and his light eyes found me in an instant. “Of course I’m sure.”
I hated how at ease I felt with his words. I looked away. “I feel guilty.”
There I went again. Being completely open to him. Uncovering feelings I tried to hide. It was his eyes. They somehow pulled me in even when I was trying to run away.
When I looked up again, Ollie was closer. Almost too close. “Guilty about what? Because I’d be racing tomorrow regardless of this little thing with Tank.”
There was a gaping hole opening up in my stomach. I felt sick knowing I brought him into this mess with Tank—racing or not. “Yeah, but now you’re racing to pay off a drug dealer. I brought you into that. Now money is involved. And not to mention, he’s sketchy.”
Ollie scoffed. “You know the money doesn’t matter to me. If I had enough in my account right now to pay him off outright, I would in a fucking heartbeat. This is the second-best choice. Now at least I’m racing for a real purpose.”
I felt myself starting to relax. My shield always came down around him. There was no fooling Ollie Powell. When he saw you, he saw you. That was why I always had to be on my toes when he was near. It was why I'd always kept him at a distance, acted like I despised him. If he got too close, he’d see me, and that was exactly what happened the night of the race. He got close, and now look at us. “You didn’t have a purpose the first time you raced?” I asked, trying desperately to shift the attention off me.
Ollie shook his head as he came and stood beside me. I was still facing the cabin, but he looked out to the bonfire, his strong jaw the only thing I could see when I peered up at him. He shrugged. “I guess I did, in a way, but it was purely selfish. One could say I was using racing to hide.”
My brows furrowed as I continued to stare at the sharp angle. “Hide from what?”
That was when he decided to look over at me. His stare almost paralyzed me. It was intense and heavy. I had to bite back a gulp as my eyes bounced back and forth between his. “My dad. Christian. Whenever I’m alone with the both of them, I feel trapped. A little out of control.” Our stare held for a second, maybe two, but it felt like an eternity had passed. “I’m just…a little lost, I guess.” It was dark outside, the distant stars our only light, but I could still see the defeat on his face. I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but Ollie quickly looked away. He didn’t say a word, but I could tell he was done talking about the subject. He closed that wound almost as
soon as it opened up. “Whatever. That’s not what I wanted to talk about.”
I decided to let it go for now. “What did you want to talk about?”
Ollie flipped around and leaned back on the deck railing. “We need to be more careful. Hayley keeps questioning us, and that’s partly my fault.” He paused a second, thinking. “I really don’t want Christian to know I’m racing.”
“Because?” I asked.
He brought his arms to cross in front of his chest. “Because that’ll just lead to more questions, and inevitably, I’ll get tripped up on my lies, and shit will spill.” I nodded alongside him because I knew all about keeping my lies straight. “And you don’t want Hayley to know about this, either, right?”
I answered quickly. “I don’t want anyone to know about it, but yes, Hayley finally has some normal in her life. I want to keep it that way.”
“Me too, so you need to act the part.”
I pulled back. “Excuse me?”
Ollie pushed off the railing and flipped around, resting his arms along the worn wood. “Right now, it looks like you and I are plotting something, and if Hayley or Christian look up here, seeing us getting along, it’ll raise questions. So, you need to act like you hate me.”
I scoffed as I put distance between us.
“I mean”—he grinned—“we all know you can’t truly hate me, but you can try.”
And there was the Ollie I knew. The arrogant, cocky, and sometimes funny Ollie.
I tried to keep my smile away. “Oh, I can hate you alright.”
Ollie let out a deep chuckle that floated right over my skin. He flipped the hood of his navy bulldog sweatshirt up before giving me a sly smile. “Is that what you tell yourself so you can forget about that night?”
Oh, not this again!
“Ollie, shut up.”