by S. J. Sylvis
His grin matched mine, and I tried so hard to fight it. Usually, I was much better at this. I could shove away my feelings and really dig into that small piece of me that wanted to hate him, but I was struggling right now. It may have been the grin, or the hood of his sweatshirt that made him look a little bit like a bad boy. Either way, Ollie was making my heart feel a little fluttery tonight—even more so than normal.
“But seriously…” Ollie’s grin began to fade. The shadows surrounding his features began to darken with the fire dying down. “I don’t want you at the races tomorrow.”
“What?” I yelled, completely taken aback.
Ollie’s jaw ticked as he dipped his head down to mine. “Shhh!” I grabbed onto the railing so I didn’t sway on my feet with him so close to my face. I zeroed right in on his lips. “I don’t want you there, Piper.”
Is he serious? “Well, I don’t really care. I’m coming.” I kept my voice hushed. “I have to! Tank is expecting me.”
Plus, what if Jason is there? I can at least make sure my brother is okay.
“I’ll deal with Tank. I took on the responsibility to work out a deal with him in exchange for paying off what your brother owes. This has nothing to do with you anymore.”
Anger flashed throughout. I felt my face get hot. I almost stomped my foot. “This has everything to do with me!” I lowered my voice as I glanced down at our friends. Thankfully, they were all still gathered around the fire. “Jason is my brother! How can you say this has nothing to do with me?”
Ollie’s voice was soft but stern. “You’re not going.”
“I am!”
“Piper, goddamnit!” Ollie’s face was an inch away from mine, and here we were again, sparring off. At least, now, if Hayley and Christian were to look up at us, they’d see that everything was as it seemed. We were still at each other's throats, but damnit, I just couldn’t help but stare at his mouth. “I don’t want you there because I’ll fucking worry about you the entire time! I won’t be able to focus.”
I stepped back a hair. “Ollie, I’ll be fine. I’ll bring Co—"
“I swear to God, if you say you’ll bring Cole to keep you safe, I will lose my shit.”
My mouth smashed shut as Ollie towered over me. His jaw was clenched tightly, the small muscles dancing along his temples. “Piper, let me handle this for you. Okay? I’ve got it under control. It’s no different than any other Saturday night. I’ll race, I’ll leave, and I’ll come here. Except, this time, I won't be leaving with any money. Which is fucking fine by me.”
I wanted to protest. I wanted to stomp my foot and throw my arms up like a child, but it would have done no good.
Ollie was set in his ways, determination present in his icy tone. He said he’d be worried about me if I went, but didn’t he understand that I was worried about him?
In the end, I finally submitted. “Fine.”
His cheek lifted, and he backed away slowly, lowering that stupid hood on his head, thinking he’d won.
But he didn’t. I’d be at the race; he just wouldn’t know it.
Chapter Sixteen
Ollie
I read the sign hanging crookedly above my head, Pike Valley Soup Kitchen, and I realized right away that I'd been here before. To the naked eye—or to my naive, ten-year-old self—it looked like my mom was trying to teach Christian and me a lesson by bringing us here. Teaching us to volunteer our time to feed the poor. Teaching us the importance of giving to others. But now that I was standing here, I knew that wasn’t the case.
My mom came here to buy drugs.
The exchange would happen on an early Saturday morning, right here at this exact soup kitchen. My mom dragged Christian and me here once a month to help feed the poor. We hated coming. She’d drag us out of our warm beds at eight in the morning on the third Saturday of every month, and we’d hand out food to all sorts of people while she disappeared. I hadn’t thought anything of it at the time, always buying into her sweet lies, but as I stood here, looking down the alleyway behind the building that was lined with homeless people, I knew. I’d watched the exchange. I saw her with my own two eyes; I was just too young to understand.
But now that my naivety was gone, it stung. The memory was ruthless, taking my breath away as it came. I tried my hardest to remember the good memories of my mother, her bright smile, the blonde strands of her hair that stood out under the golden sun, but lately, I was having a really fucking hard time holding onto those memories. It seemed all the good memories were being overshadowed by the bad ones.
“What are you doing here?” Piper asked, clearly agitated. I quickly turned on my heel and locked onto her heart-shaped face. Piper’s face was a mask of confusion but still as pretty as the day I first laid eyes on her. The bright-pink cheeks under the glow of the morning sun. The shine of her hair all but blinding me. Her green eyes were narrowed. “Hellooo? What the heck are you doing here?”
Oh, right. I cleared my throat, tearing my eyes away for a moment. “Ya know…” I brushed off the memory of my mom and put on my best smile. “I just felt the need to feed the homeless.”
The gravel under Piper’s white Converse crunched. Hayley must have talked her into buying those. “That’s a lie. I’ve been volunteering here for the last year and a half. I’ve never ever seen you before. What are you doing here?”
I eyed more people jumping into the line wrapping around the building—most with crying babies, some other randos, a few in wheelchairs that looked as if they’d seen better days. “I’m serious. I’m here to help.”
Piper raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. “Ollie.”
I fought the need to roll my eyes. “Fine. I just felt like you needed another friendly reminder not to show up tonight.”
What Piper failed to realize last night was that I could read her like a fucking book. Her sudden agreement after I told her not to come to the races raised some serious red flags. She didn’t back down easily, and I saw the motive right behind her eyes.
“I already told you I wasn’t coming.”
I laughed. “And I’m honestly surprised you thought I bought that.”
A small puff of air flew out of her mouth as she stormed past me, all but ignoring that I was right. I chuckled the entire way down the alleyway, following after her. The tightness in my chest from walking down the narrow path to the side doors was hard to miss, but as soon as we were inside, the tightness lessened.
“Did you really think I bought it?” I asked, swooping in behind her, shooting my words down her neck.
Piper jerked out of the way, flipping her red hair over her shoulder. “You should have. I’m having a girls’ night with Hayley. Go ahead! Text and ask her!” I stood back and watched as Piper began pulling her hair up into a bun on top of her head. She hastily walked over to a tall cabinet, smiling briskly at the other volunteers who were eyeing me suspiciously, and pulled out something from a small box. She was back in front of me within a second, holding out a net.
“What’s this?” I asked, taking it from her hand.
She rolled her eyes, clearly not pleased. “It’s a hairnet. If you’re going to hound me, you might as well do it while passing out food. Put it on.”
Piper didn’t give me a chance to argue; she turned on her heel and walked away, leaving me standing in a room with a bunch of strangers.
I sighed, slipping the stupid net onto my head. I don’t remember having to wear this years ago.
After walking down the hall and entering a giant room full of people, I spotted Piper. My heart came to a sudden stop because she was simply glowing. She looked adorable, scooping out mashed potatoes with a giant ladle into Styrofoam containers. Her cheeks were flushed, and her smile was wide. Something in my heart tugged, and before I knew it, I was standing right beside her.
“Well,” she said, glancing at me between patrons, “grab a ladle and help.”
My tongue darted out to lick my lips as I followed her instructions like a lost puppy. Piper could have j
ust told me to cut my arm off, and I probably would have done it.
After filling several rounds of Styrofoam containers, not speaking to one another, things began to slow. The people coming in were few and far between, and when I glanced up at the clock hanging across the room, my jaw fell.
“Jesus, fuck. It’s 11:30?”
Piper laughed. “Times flies when you’re having fun.” She stepped back and pulled the hairnet off her head.
I did the same, shoving it in the back pocket of my jeans. “I mean, I wouldn’t really consider this fun, but time did fly.” I shrugged. “I really just came to give you a little in-person reminder to not come tonight, but somehow you roped me into feeding the homeless.”
She rolled her eyes again but not before I caught the tiny glimpse of a smile. “I told you; I’m not coming. In fact…” Piper pulled out her cell phone, walking back to the far wall, away from the food line. I followed after her, my eyes tracing her backside in the faded jeans she was wearing. “You can read the text between Hayley and me about our girls’ night tonight.”
I leaned my shoulder on the wall, waiting patiently as she scanned her phone. Panic set in when her mouth fell open and she flicked those vivid green eyes in my direction. “Did you…” Piper was stunned. Her mouth was hanging open as she looked down to her phone and then back to me.
Pushing off the wall, I asked, “Did I what?”
“Did you threaten Cole?!” Piper’s voice was rising with anger, and I snapped my mouth shut. Shit. “Ollie!”
“What?” I asked innocently. “Did he say I threatened him?” He couldn’t even keep his mouth shut. Bad seed, that one.
Her fingers flew over her phone before she gave me a glare. “I’m going to kill you. He told Andrew!”
I played stupid. “He told Andrew that I threatened him?”
Somehow, a million emotions flew over her soft features within one quick second. “He told Andrew about me being at the races!” Her eyes clenched, and she dropped her head. “Fuck!”
“Who cares if your cousin knows?” I asked.
Her jade eyes were somehow even greener when they flew open. “He’ll tell his parents, and then they’ll tell mine.”
Ah, yes. Didn’t think about that. I wasn’t going to let that happen, though. “Relax, I’ll talk to him.”
“You will not!” she seethed. “You’ll probably just threaten him, too!”
“Now, listen. The only thing I told Cole was to lose your number. He’s a shady guy, Piper. I don’t fucking trust him. Do you?”
She threw her arms up, clenching her phone in her hand. Her voice was hushed as she looked around at the line picking back up. “Of course I don’t trust him!”
“Then, can you blame me for wanting to protect you?”
Piper’s lithe body was quaking with anger, her cheeks so flushed it started to creep down her neck. I had to bite my tongue to keep my gaze trained on her eyes. “Ugh!” she finally ended up saying. She turned on her heel and stormed off to the mashed potatoes again.
I did the same, following after her.
We both stayed silent when we put our hairnets back on and began dishing out more food to the line that was picking up. I wasn’t sure of what to say. I liked pushing her buttons, but for some reason, I felt myself pulling back. I might have felt a little bad.
“I’ll talk to Andrew, okay?” I whispered, nodding my head at a man who looked to be around one hundred years old.
“Do not talk to Andrew. I’ll fix this.”
More silence passed between us. She put up a good front, though, smiling and laughing with the homeless, but anytime she would catch my eye, she would scowl.
I sighed and continued handing out mashed potatoes, trying to find a way around the anger she was throwing my way. I should have welcomed the familiar feeling, but instead of it feeling like a comfort, it felt…heavy. “So,” I started, dipping my ladle into the container, “do you just volunteer here for fun, or...?”
Piper glanced at me for a millisecond before reluctantly giving in. “I’ve been volunteering since I started at English Prep. Headmaster Walton said volunteering would look good on college applications.”
“Aren’t your college applications already in?” I asked, glancing up at her every few seconds.
“Yep.”
“Then, why are you still volunteering?”
Piper paused, her hand stilling on the ladle. “I guess because I don’t have anything else to do. It’s something I look forward to. And”—she shrugged—“I like helping people.”
Piper was definitely the type of girl you brought home to your parents at the end of the day. Nice, sweet, caring. It really irked me that her parents were never home.
“I’ve actually been here before.”
She looked over at me, a crease evident on her forehead. “What? Like, to volunteer?”
I lifted a shoulder. “I guess you could say that.”
“What exactly does that mean?”
I nodded my head at an older male as he shoved his shaking Styrofoam container in my direction. “My mom used to bring Christian and me here before she passed. One Saturday a month, we’d hand out food or whatever.”
“Really?” Piper reached under the lip of the metal container no longer holding mashed potatoes and lifted it up, her arms straining with the weight. I quickly put my ladle down and grabbed it.
“Refill? Where?”
She nodded back toward the kitchen, her lips slightly parted. I quickly took it back and found the other metal container full of mashed potatoes and came back, placing it down. Piper switched spots with me, her shoulder brushing over my chest.
As soon as we were back in our rightful spots, continuing to fill people’s containers, she asked, “What made you guys stop coming?”
I swallowed back a lump, feeling the tightness in my chest return. “Well,” I started, clearing my throat, “I kind of just forgot about this place after my mom died, and…” Do you really want to go there with her, Ol?
Piper’s soft voice floated all around me, almost luring me to tell her all the things I kept buried. “And what?”
I focused on the half-lumpy cloud of mashed potatoes resting on the end of my ladle. “And when I got here this morning, and the memory started to come back to me, I realized that my mom wasn’t exactly here to volunteer.”
The line had started to pitter out again, so I placed the spoon down. I dropped my head and counted the worn tiles beneath my feet. My chest stopped rising when I felt a small palm slide into mine. My eyes moved to Piper’s hand clasping mine, and that was when I let the vile memory spill.
“I remembered the alley—the one we walked down to get to the side door.” I swallowed back another rough lump before continuing, focusing on her palm against mine. “I remembered seeing my mom down the alley once, soon after she dropped Christian and me off inside to pass out whatever it was, and I’m almost certain she was getting drugs.” A sarcastic chuckle left my mouth. “She brought us here once a month under the impression that we were giving to the needy, when really she was here to meet her drug dealer.”
A light gasp sounded from beside me, and I instantly regretted telling her. I hated pity, but didn’t everyone?
And there was no denying the amount of hate filling my head at the memory resurfacing. I fought the urge to rip off my hairnet and turn around, leaving Piper alone so I could be away from this place, but her hand in mine tightened, reminding me that she was here, and I wasn’t alone…not really.
I hadn’t thought about it until now, but Piper and I had something in common. Maybe it was why we were so drawn to one another. She loved someone who had an addiction, and I did, too. It was hard loving someone, knowing they didn’t love you the same. An addict would always choose you second…and their vice first. I learned that the hard way.
Piper’s hand tightened in mine again, and I glanced up, ready to swallow that pity whole, but she wasn’t looking at me.
“Oh my G
od,” she whispered, finally letting go of my hand.
“What?” I asked, confused.
Her head turned to mine for a second before she angled it toward the door. “It’s Sky.”
I followed her line of sight to a girl who looked as if she hadn’t brushed her hair in weeks. “Sky?”
Piper turned to me with a hushed voice. “Sky, as in Tank’s girlfriend. The one who—”
My voice turned steely. “The one who came to the school the other day?”
“Yes!” she whisper-shouted.
A woman who reeked of cigarettes stood in front of Piper and me, thrusting her Styrofoam container in our faces. Piper scooped up a bundle and placed it down, hearing the container crack under the weight.
“Don’t even think about it!” Piper urged, giving me a side-eye.
“What?” I asked innocently.
She rolled her eyes. “You’ve already threatened Cole. Leave this one to me. The last thing we need is you threatening the drug dealer's girlfriend.”
I cracked my neck, watching the girl in the far corner grab a Styrofoam container and climb into line for free food. Piper was right. Threatening a chick wasn’t really on my list of things to do. I’d never even had the thought before, but if Sky wanted to throw bows at Piper, a little word wouldn’t hurt.
“Trust me, Ollie,” Piper said, dragging me out of my thoughts. “Being on this side of the table versus the side she’s on is enough to put her in her place.”
I scoffed. “I doubt that.”
She shrugged. “I’m all about giving people a break. She’s mean, but what good is going to come of it from me telling her so or you threatening her? She knows that she’s mean. It’s because she’s unhappy. I mean, she is dating Tank.”
I chuckled. “Touche, Piper. Touche.”
She smiled at me before dipping the spoon back in the mashed potatoes as another person came up.
I felt a strange string in my chest, pulling at the muscle inside, as her smile lingered.
Piper was definitely the type of girl you brought home at the end of the day. There was no question about it.