by S. J. Sylvis
I held back a snarl. “There’s no way you’re going to a Wellington Prep party to be around Cole. Not without me.”
She laughed against my chest. “What, we have sex and now I’m yours? How very caveman of you.”
“I don’t trust Cole.”
The vision of him kissing her still bothered me. It felt like tiny shards of glass sprinkling my skin.
“No one trusts Cole. But he wouldn’t hurt me. He knows Andrew would rip his head off. They have a weird relationship.”
Still don’t trust him. “It doesn’t matter. Next weekend will likely be the last race.”
Her head tilted toward mine, but I didn’t look down. “And then what?”
“What do you mean?”
The air between us changed. It grew from warm to cold. “Well…what do you plan on doing about Tank? You’re going to stop racing, right?”
“Right.” I knew I was being elusive, but that was how it had to be, for now.
She seemed to relax, snuggling closer to me. “Good, but…how? Tank said...”
A bout of anxiety hit me deep in my stomach, but I brushed it off. I looked down at her green eyes. They were like sea glass, and it felt like they were cutting me with their eagerness for the truth.
“Don’t worry, Piper. I have everything figured out. Let’s just get this shit paid and your brother out of trouble. Then, I’ll worry about Tank and…” My eyes darted away. “And other things.”
Her voice was soft. “Other things like telling Christian about the issues with your dad?”
“Yeah. That.”
She nodded against my chest. I hoped she couldn’t hear the rapid increase of my heart beating.
“Can I ask you something?”
Her soft tone lingered. “Sure.”
“A year ago, you said you did something bad. What was it?”
It’d been bothering me for a while now. After I found out more about her, and Jason, I’d wondered what she was referring to that night so long ago. What exactly did she do?
Piper’s body stilled, so I joked to lighten the mood. “Oh, come on, I thought you and I were into the whole sharing-secrets thing?”
A soft breath brushed over my chest. “You’ll never look at me the same.”
I clicked my tongue as I shook my head. “I can assure you I will. I like all of you, Piper. The good and bad, the broken and whole.”
Her pink lip twitched as she shot me a look. It didn’t last long, though. The small smile faded just before she buried her head into me again. “I did two things that night. Two things my parents would totally disapprove of, which is probably why I did them in the first place.”
I said nothing as she sorted out her thoughts. Instead, I twirled a piece of her hair around my finger and waited.
“It was right after they told me I was being taken out of Wellington Prep and would be attending English Prep. I was so angry. I was angry for a lot of reasons, but the fact that they were running from Jason’s mistakes lit a fire inside of me. They had already kicked him out of the house, shunned him from the family, and then that? I was livid.”
My head moved up and down. “I get that.”
“They forbid me to ever see him again. They told me to call the police if he even stepped foot on our property.”
Damn.
She gulped, and I felt the slight tremble of her body. I pulled her in even closer, wanting to take away her fear. “Hey,” I stopped her. “You don’t have to tell me.”
She shook her head. “I want to.”
Those three words settled right into my chest. She wanted to tell me.
“My brother actually ended up reaching out to me that night. I was going to Andrew’s because he was having a party, and I couldn’t stand to be in the house with my parents. So, I snuck out, and that was when I got a call from an unknown number. It was Jason.” Piper’s voice was so low I could barely hear it over the music from downstairs. “He'd been beaten up—again. I don’t even remember why. Maybe he stole something. Or owed money.” She shrugged. “I ended up going to him, and I helped him get cleaned up. He was in an alley, kind of close to Pike Valley Trailer Park, actually.” A sad laugh erupted from her. “I still remember the smell of the spoiled milk in the dumpster nearby. Seeing my brother that beat up and high at the same time wrecked me. I got him in my car and drove him to his friend’s house. He didn’t hang with the best crowd, but Alec was better than the rest. He got him inside, and we cleaned him up. But then his friend told me he knew who was responsible.”
“He told you who beat Jason up?”
Piper nodded against me again, her body buzzing with anxiety. “Yeah. Tank isn’t the first mess I’ve tried to clean up for Jason.”
Both anger and apprehension were sprouting in my chest, but I kept my body relaxed and appeared unfazed. I didn’t want her to stop talking. My thumb began to stroke her arm.
“So, I went to his place. He didn’t live far from the alley. And maybe he didn’t deserve what I did. Jason probably deserved what he got, but...”
“But what? What did you do?”
Her voice shook. “I took a baseball bat and shattered every window on his car. I was like a wild freaking animal.”
I stopped breathing for a moment. “You…what?”
The words came out fast. “Yeah, and he came out, and I ran back to my car and sped away. I was certain I’d get in trouble. That the cops would find me. But I was so mad that he’d hurt Jason and frustrated with what my family had become. It felt so good to let go. It felt good to be bad.”
I stayed quiet for a few minutes, digesting what I’d heard. It was hard to imagine her acting like that, but I understood it. She was hurt. And angry. Sometimes, we just snapped.
My thumb continued to graze her arm. “It was a good distraction, yeah?”
“Yeah, and then…”
My thumb stopped. “And then what?”
Piper pushed up off my chest, and I suddenly felt my breath go with her. I watched her sigh as her eyes locked onto mine. “That’s not all.”
My shoulders grew tense. Piper was nervous. She couldn’t hold my gaze for more than a few seconds, her swollen bottom lip tucked between her teeth. Reaching forward, I swiped it out from them and held her face. “You can tell me anything. You know that, right?”
She took a deep breath. “I also lost my virginity that night.”
My hand instantly dropped from her chin. I felt my eyebrows come together in a bundle. I blinked once, trying to sort out what she’d just said.
The only thing that came out of my mouth was, “What?”
Her hands wrung together in a bunch as she sat perched on her knees, atop my bed. My t-shirt hung loosely on her body. “I...I lost my virginity that night.”
Breath seized in my chest. I almost couldn’t talk. “So…” I tried to reel in my confusion. “So, you’re telling me that you fucked someone that night…and then fucked me after?”
This doesn’t sound like the Piper I know.
An intense bout of jealousy surged through my veins to the point that I jumped up from my bed. I wanted to punch something. I was angry. So angry. I wasn’t sure I’d ever been so angry, and I really had absolutely no right.
“What!” Piper jumped up, too, and rushed over to me. Her soft hands landed on my skin and kept me in place. “No! It was you!”
I tipped my head backwards and stared at the ceiling, grinding my teeth. What the fuck is going on?
“You—” I cleared my throat, still staring at the ceiling. “You mean to tell me I took your virginity that night?” For fuck’s sake. “Please tell me I’m wrong.”
I mean, I wasn’t going to lie; there was a fleeting second where I felt proud knowing I was the one to take her virginity, and it was much better than the alternative, but no. There was no fucking way.
Her hands slowly dropped from my arms, and I gave her my full attention. Her cheeks were blazing pink, the freckles outlining her nose even more evident. The r
ed waves of her hair cascaded down past her shoulders as she barely nodded.
“No,” I said.
No. Fuck.
There were so many things that were wrong with this. So many things.
“You’re mad.”
“Yes, I’m mad!” I shouted.
She flinched, and I instantly reached out to her. I cupped my hands on her slender shoulders. She peeked up at me. “I’m not mad at you.” Her face flickered with uncertainty. “I’m mad at myself. Piper, that sex was…” I gulped the air, looking away for a moment to collect myself. “That was rough sex. Hot and fast. That’s not how your first time should have been! You deserved so much better. God, I probably hurt you.”
Fuck. I felt like a complete fucking dick. I acted like I didn’t even know her the day she walked into English Prep.
My hand came up, and I rubbed it down my face. “Fuck, I am so sorry.”
Her mouth dropped. “You’re sorry?”
I paced my room. “Yeah, I’m fucking sorry! I would have never fucked you that night if I knew it was your first time.”
I continued to pace but stopped abruptly when she started to giggle. Her cheeks were still red. “Why are you laughing?”
She giggled a few more times and ran her fingers through her hair before smiling. My God, she is beautiful.
I didn’t see that smile often. Not the real one. Things had been so serious lately. And emotional. And draining.
But this? This was something I could get used to.
Her hands fell down to her sides, and suddenly, I forgot about everything we were discussing when I truly took her in. She was standing there, smiling, with nothing but my t-shirt on.
She took my fucking breath away.
“Ollie.” Her voice brought me back. “You are such a good guy.” Her smile fell a little as her eyes glossed over. “I know I didn’t know your mom, but she would have been so proud of the man you turned out to be.”
We stayed locked on one another, and I felt so fucking much. My heart was roaring, and the only thing I wanted to do was pull her into me.
And I wasn’t sure if I’d ever let her go.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Piper
Ollie’s arms felt like chains of protection. The beating of his heart sounded like a lullaby made just for me. The smell of his t-shirt was my favorite scent. Everything felt beautiful when I was with him.
“Can we just stay up here all night? Away from the party and everyone’s watchful eyes?” My muffled words made him laugh with his arms locked around me.
His chin wobbled on top of my head. “There’s honestly nowhere else I’d rather be right now.”
Once he dropped his arms from my body, he pulled me over to his bed. We snuggled in under the covers, and I was back in my spot right in the crook of his arm. “I never thought I’d see the day where Ollie Powell didn’t want to party.”
His deep chuckle vibrated his chest along my cheek. “Neither did I, but I also never thought I’d take a girl’s virginity, but here we are.”
My face flamed. I never ever expected to tell him that little tidbit, but there was something about Ollie that had me spilling all of my secrets, one by one. It was as if he had the password to my diary. A few weeks ago, I would have hated that, but now, I loved it.
It felt good to be real with him. To show him all of me.
“You know I’m going to be making up for that, right?”
“Make up for what?”
“For taking your virginity. For being so…feral.”
I busted up laughing. “Feral?”
He pulled me away and drove his blue eyes into mine. “That was some serious sex. We were…”
“Passionate,” I finished for him.
He half nodded. “It’s hard to wrap my head around the idea that it was your first time. Are you sure?”
I gave him a look and playfully smacked him. “Of course I’m sure. I think I’d know.”
He thought for a moment as I snuggled back up to my spot. I wondered for a moment if Hayley was wondering where I was, but chances were, she already knew.
She’d been rooting for Ollie and me since the beginning.
Ollie cleared his throat. “So, how many people has it been since?”
Embarrassment washed over me. This conversation, really?
“It’s only been you.”
I wasn’t sure what I expected from him. Would he laugh? Be surprised? Not surprised? Maybe I wasn’t good at sex? Maybe he could tell.
“Not possible.”
“What? Yes, it is! It’s not like I’ve had many dates—someone made sure of that.” I raised an eyebrow, and he looked away, ashamed.
“There’s no way you’ve only had sex twice. You’re…” His voice was hoarse. “You’re…your body…”
Where was he going with this? I suddenly got nervous. “Did I not do it right?”
He barked out a loud laugh, and I smiled instantly. “I fucking love you, Piper.” His laughter quickly faded, and his face was nothing less than mortified. “I mean…I…”
I was holding back my own laugh as I pulled up again and crawled over his legs. The playfulness in his eyes disappeared, and he froze. His jaw was taut with tension. I could tell he was smashing his teeth together and his muscles ticked. My hands found the curve of his cheekbones. “Relax, I know you didn’t really mean that you loved me like that.” A sly grin curved on my face as I dipped my mouth to his. My lips hovered over his. “Not yet, anyway.”
I expected him to laugh and say something jokingly back to me. But instead, his palms grabbed my waist, and he pulled me closer. A breathy sound came from me when he rubbed me over his hardness. Then, his lips were on mine. They moved slowly, but the kiss was deep. His fingers dug into my skin as mine found his hair.
I moaned as he moved me up and down over his sweatpants. He pulled away for a second. “You and I…we’re going to do this whole thing right after next weekend.”
“What thing?” Our lips were almost touching.
“You and me. In a relationship. Dates. Holding hands at school. Prom. You and me...you got that?”
His voice was soft but rough in all the right places. I swore I could feel his words gracing my skin.
“I got it.”
Then, our lips were back on one another, ceasing the conversation.
The distant sound of vibrating woke me from a slumber. My body ached as I shifted my legs on top of Ollie’s and peeled my eyes open. I instantly shut them again as the lamp on his desk almost blinded me. I felt Ollie move, too, and when I was finally able to peek out from under my eyelids, I saw him reading his phone with squinty eyes. He looked sleepy, and it made me smile.
What time was it?
I no longer heard the music thumping from downstairs, and it sounded quieter. But that didn’t mean much when it came to an English Prep party. I was certain people were still here.
“Oh, fuck.” Ollie snapped up, and I fell backwards onto the pillow.
“What?” I slowly eased up and rubbed my eyes before looking at his text. It was a group text between him, Christian, and their dad.
Dad: Nothing better be broken, and you boys better have that house spotless for Ms. Porter on Monday.
Ollie mumbled, “How the fuck does he know we had a party?”
Another text came in from Christian.
Christian: Have no idea what you’re talking about.
Dad: The hell you do. I just saw you go to your room with Hayley. And I assume Ollie is in his room with her friend.
I almost choked on my spit. “Um…does your dad have cameras?”
Ollie pulled back, offended. “There’s no fucking way. I’d know if there were cam—”
Another text.
Christian: Are you fucking spying on us?
His dad texted back immediately.
Dad: Cameras in the house. I installed them after Hayley was taken. I wanted to make sure you all were safe.
I felt Ollie ti
ghten beside me. “Oh shit.”
My hand fell to his arm. “What’s wrong?” Ollie’s face turned white. The muscles along his cheeks were tight. “Ollie? Are you okay?”
He turned his head to mine, and the look in his eye had my own heart beating fast. He looked afraid. Or sad. Maybe both.
“He knows.”
My voice was softer. “He knows? He knows what?”
“He knows I know, Piper. That’s why my birth certificate was missing. I go in their room all the time. I don’t usually snoop like the day I had you come keep watch, but I go in there and sit.” He dropped his head. “It helps me feel closer to my mom. At peace.”
How was it that I could actually feel his sadness? His sadness became mine, and I was bleeding out watching him. His broad shoulders were caved in; his head was low. His breathing was choppy as I pushed his phone out of his hand and made him lie down.
Ollie was lying on his back, and I did the same, falling softly onto the pillow behind my head. I intertwined my fingers with his and held his hand tight. “Then, that means it’s time to face the truth, Ollie.”
He sounded pained. “I don’t know if I want to know the truth.”
We both stared at the ceiling above our heads. “I think you do want to know the truth; you just don’t want to face the outcome.” I squeezed his hand. “I’ll be here, though. You won’t be alone.”
He squeezed back. “This is going to open up a lot of shit. Christian is going to flip out, knowing there are more secrets buried about our mom.”
“Buried secrets are never a good thing, Ollie. I think we can both attest to this.”
I felt him look at me, so I did the same. He shrugged. “They’re not all bad. I mean, secrets brought us together, right?”
I smiled. “Yeah, they did.”
He turned away, and we continued to lie there, holding hands, lost in our own thoughts.
And that was how I remembered falling asleep, hand in hand.