by Nicole Casey
“Um, just mine,” I replied, figuring that would tidy up my explanation nicely.
“Yours? You mean you live in the house next door?”
“Well, I suppose at the moment, I live here,” I tried to joke, “But yes, up until just a few days ago, I lived there.”
“And you just didn’t know quite how to tell me?”
“Exactly. Well, that and I found you incredibly distracting,” I confessed honestly, though a prickle of heat warmed my cheeks.
“OK,” he said all of a sudden, so easily that I wasn’t sure if I should feel relieved. I waited for him to say more, but it seemed no more words were forthcoming.
“OK? Just…OK?”
“Did you want me to say more? Get mad, maybe? It seems to me that it was a simple misunderstanding. If anyone should be feeling bad about it, it’s me, Emma, not you. I mistook you for the hired help. But if it’s any consolation at all, I thought you were the most incredible looking hired help there ever was,” he laughed ruefully. “But I get why you didn’t set it straight right away. And you have now, so I don’t see any reason to get angry.”
“Oh.” I’m not sure what I expected, but I suppose I’d been mentally preparing myself for something…more—not that I was complaining.
“And if I happened to have you so frazzled you couldn’t think straight…well, I’m not going to complain about that,” he said a split second before his hands settled under my arms and he pulled me up on top of him.
8
Emma
It was perfect. Well, as perfect as any casual fling that was confined to late night rendezvous could be. We kept our distance from each other during the day, always amicable but nothing more in front of Abby. But once she was in bed, neither of us could keep our hands off each other. We fell into bed—or onto the sofa…the floor…in the shower…or anywhere else that suited our needs—within moments of tucking Abby in for the night.
Ryan had had to spend some of his daytime hours at his office in the city, and every once in a while he’d come in late. But I was ready for him the moment he returned, and he’d seemed only too eager to strip every bit of clothing off me—on the rare occasions I was still wearing clothing when he walked in the door—and bury himself deep inside me. It was always like that; we were too eager and too desperate for each other to take our time at first. But then, once that first orgasm had helped to take the edge off, it was different. I’d tasted every part of his body and felt his lips on every inch of mine. And while I wouldn’t exactly call myself an expert yet, he taught me exactly how to drive him wild—and I’d figured out how to drive him to the brink, only to hold him there, drawing out what should have been seconds to minutes and increasing the intensity of his orgasm tenfold.
It was one of those nights when he’d been stuck at the office late, and after waiting for a full hour after I’d tucked Abby into bed, I decided to go for a swim in the indoor pool. I’d deliberately skipped the swimsuit and was doing languid, naked laps, waiting for his inevitable return.
And I waited…and waited. Though I’d been taking it easy, my muscles had begun to grow tired and I’d left the pool, wrapping a towel around my body and wandering through the quiet house. But still, he hadn’t returned. I was just about to pass by his office door when I noticed light seeping through where it had been left open a crack.
“Ryan?” I called peeking inside, but not expecting an answer.
But there he was, sitting behind his desk with a stack of papers in front of him.
“Yeah?” he said without looking up.
“Sorry. I thought you were still out.”
“No. I got home a while ago, but I’ve got a lot of work to catch up on.”
“Oh, OK,” I said, closing the door and trying not to feel the sting of rejection. After all, the man was in charge of a multi-billion dollar corporation. He couldn’t be expected to have every night free.
So, I wandered back up to my room and sat down at the edge of the bed. It was silly, really. It made perfect sense. And yet, in that brief exchange, I’d gotten the impression something was very wrong. He wasn’t just busy—he was avoiding me. But that made no sense. I was probably just blowing an innocent situation out of proportion. Clinging to that explanation, I laid down and let my mind wander as sleep began to tug me down. Tomorrow night—I’d see that everything was just fine then.
But tomorrow night came, and it wasn’t fine, at least not in my opinion, nor the opinion of my body that had been newly awakened to the pleasures of sex with a man who was insatiable. Or, he had been. He came home an hour before Abby’s bedtime, and my body had begun to hum in anticipation of what was to come. But five minutes after we’d tucked her in, he was at the front door and on his way out for a business dinner. I tried to wait up for him, but hours passed and I fell asleep on the sofa and never heard him come in. I woke up there by myself the next morning.
Day after day, his evening had become occupied with work or other engagements. Was that it? He’d gone from being unable to keep his hands off me to keeping as much distance between us as possible. I’d known it had to come to an end eventually—neither one of us had talked about this being anything other than what it was—sex. And I knew he had no interest in romantic entanglements, so it should have come as no surprise, but I wasn’t done. I hadn’t come anywhere close to having my fill of Ryan Cade.
I figured I didn’t need to wonder where he was going when he left the house in the evenings. He hadn’t said it, but if he’d had his fill of me, that meant he’d moved on to greener pastures. “Out” likely meant he was out with another woman. I hated the flash of jealousy that grabbed hold of me at the thought. I had no right to it, I knew that, but I felt it nonetheless. And that it was time for me to do what he’d apparently done already—accept that this was never going to be anything more than a short-lived fling and move on.
I didn’t wait up for him that night, or the next, though I couldn’t stop thinking about him no matter how many times I told myself it was over. I was pathetic, that was the only way to explain it. Ryan had been able to enjoy sex without getting himself tangled into wanting to draw it out longer. Why hadn’t I been able to do the same? Because he’d been my first? I couldn’t refute the possibility, but I knew myself well enough to think it an unlikely probability.
The truth was, as much as I hated to admit it, that while I craved Ryan’s body constantly, I wanted more than just his body, too. And since that just wasn’t possible, it was a good thing I’d realized it before I’d let myself fall in too deep. Perhaps his backing off had been a good thing, even if it didn’t feel like it at the moment. I fell asleep clinging to that thought, but I woke up abruptly sometime later. I had no idea what had woken me, but since I was hot and slick to the touch, it wasn’t hard to figure out what kind of dream I’d been having.
I pushed off the covers and got up, pacing back and forth across the room to try to dispel the restlessness that had settled over me, but it wasn’t enough. I slipped on my silk robe and opened the bedroom door, intending to pace the long hall, or maybe even go for a swim if that wasn’t enough either.
But he was right there, standing in the hallway outside my room, bare-chested and with a look on his face that I couldn’t figure out if it was more aroused or tortured. I wasn’t left to wonder long though. A groan escaped his lips and he lunged for me, but he didn’t stop once he reached me. He wrapped his arms around me and continued to step further and further into my room, forcing me to take a step back for every step he took forward. He didn’t stop until the backs of my knees pressed up against the mattress.
“God damn it, Emma, I can’t stop wanting this, wanting you. I can’t get you out of my head,” he whispered in a ragged voice before he captured my lips beneath his in a kiss that took my breath away with its intensity.
I didn’t notice that he’d yanked off my robe until I felt the cool air wafting in from the window against my naked skin, but I didn’t have time to take notice of it
for long. He pushed me down on the bed and unzipped his fly, his massive cock springing free and making my thighs clench together against a desperate ache.
But he pried my legs open and moved between them, pulling my ass toward the edge of the bed and plunging into the hilt in one, smooth thrust. He didn’t slow to let my body adjust to his girth like he usually did. Instead, he withdrew and drove back in, and I smothered the loud moan I couldn’t contain with the back of my arm.
I couldn’t move; I couldn’t draw him in deeper—not yet. I focused on making my body relax around him as he thrust in hard and fast, holding onto my hips to keep my body from sliding further up on the bed with his powerful thrusts.
As my body adjusted, it joined in, moving against him, its desperation just as potent as his own.
He released his hold on one hip after a few moments and moved between us. His fingers pressed against my clit and my hips nearly bucked off the bed in response. I was so close already, so when he started to rub back and forth, I rocketed to the precipice. I was right there.
“Come for me, Emma. I want to see you come with my cock in your pussy,” he ground out between clenched teeth.
I couldn’t have held back if I’d wanted to. All of a sudden, the heat splintered outward, jolting through every fiber of my body and making me scream in ecstasy. His hips bucked, driving him in once more, and he followed me almost instantly.
Though he was done, I never wanted to let him leave, and I remained as still as I could to savor the moment for as long as possible. Eventually, he withdrew, but instead of zipping up his fly and leaving—like I half-expected him to do—he laid down on the bed and pulled me with him. He gathered me in his arms and I laid my head against his chest, listening to the steady pound of his heartbeat and letting it lull me into a blissful sleep.
9
Ryan
I laid there cursing myself over and over again while I watched her sleep, the steady rise and fall of her back signaling that she slept soundly. What the hell was wrong with me? I’d managed to keep my distance for days, spending as much time at the office as possible and doing everything else I could to avoid her. And I’d just failed completely.
I’d tried to move on, knowing whatever it was between us had gone on too long already. I’d even contemplated picking up some new woman at the bar after work, but I didn’t even make it through the door. The fact was, any woman I found there wouldn’t be Emma. And I’d wanted Emma.
I forced myself out of her bed, hating how much I didn’t want to leave. Once out of bed though, I couldn’t help but stand there, staring down at her. She was beautiful; sexy as hell, yes, but something more—and the most dangerous thing I’d ever encountered.
I’d always been careful to keep my distance, not in fear for myself, but to keep any partner from getting the wrong impression or building expectations for a relationship that was never going to exist. Never once had I been even remotely tempted. But Emma had done far more than tempt—she’d just about driven me crazy.
But I wasn’t going to allow myself to slip again. I’d been hoping whatever it was I felt for her would run its course and fade, but it wasn’t happening, in fact, it was only growing stronger. So there was no point in continuing to wait for a fade that wasn’t going to come. Instead, it was time to accept that I’d made a colossal mistake—wading in far deeper than I should have—and since I’d been such a fool, having to fight this innate pull toward her was the consequence—stay aware of it, and stay untangled. Though I imagined that was going to be a whole lot easier said than done.
Perhaps it was time to send Emma on her way; remove the temptation and hope I’d have enough sense not to go chasing after it. Besides, the sooner I sent her on her way, the sooner she could get back to pursuing a career that had only begun to get underway when I’d come into the picture. That did make me wonder though, and not for the first time, why she’d even agreed to take on the role of a nanny. She was a McKenna, and while it wasn’t a completely uncommon last name when it was attached to someone in this neighborhood, it could only be the McKenna family whose money went back further than the Declaration of Independence.
Why would a woman with more money than she could spend in ten lifetimes, and by her own confession, a career she looked forward to with enthusiasm, put her life on hold for me and Abby—complete strangers to her at the time? It made no sense. There had to be an underlying reason she’d agreed to take my ridiculous offer.
I was well aware that I was grasping at straws, looking for any reason to build a wall between her and I, but it wasn’t a wholly unreasonable question. Of course, the logical thing to do would be to ask her, but since I was admittedly half-crazy at the moment, I thought of a better way. And really, people with ulterior motives were seldom known to profess them honestly.
So, I crept out of her room and went to my office at the other end of the house. I picked up the phone and dialed the number of a man I’d employed only occasionally. The personnel department at the office wasn’t good enough this time. I needed more; I needed someone to dig beneath the surface to find out what Emma McKenna had been up to all this time.
And two days later I had my answer, though I could hardly believe the proof on the page in front of me. I should have been rejoicing at finally having the solution to my problem, a solution that would build a wall so high between us I’d never have to worry about getting close to Emma ever again.
But I wasn’t rejoicing; I wasn’t even relieved. Instead, a stab of pain shot through my chest and I wanted to rip up the paper, shred it into a thousand pieces and burn every last one of them. But that was pointless. It wouldn’t change a thing.
Emma had lied to me. All this time, she’d been busy trying to keep me distracted and hoping I’d slip up, all of it nothing more than a ploy. Hell, she’d even sacrificed her virginity for it. She must be one hell of a sister.
Her brother was none other than Michael Fraser, president, and CEO of Fraser Enterprises. Six months ago, that name wouldn’t have meant a thing to me, but it did now. And it had for the past two months throughout which my company and his had been locked in a cutthroat battle for the same big-ass client. Fraser’s company had been on the decline for the past two years and it teetered on the verge of bankruptcy. This one client would be vital to keeping it alive. And Emma had appeared on the scene just days after the two companies had begun negotiations with the potential client. What was the likelihood that her sudden appearance was sheer coincidence? If I had to guess at the moment, I’d say about zero.
I crumpled the page in my hand, gripping it over and over again until my knuckles turned white. Once again, I was angrier with myself than I was with her, but damn it, some of the blame fell on her this time, too. I should have known better, but what she’d done was despicable.
Still, I should have been a lot more cautious who I let into my life—who I let into Abby’s life!
And that was the part that was unforgivable. If it had only been me she’d duped, I could have found a way to move past it, or at least to part on neutral terms. But it wasn’t just me. She’d played my daughter for a fool, pretending to care for Abby and letting her get close. Did it even bother her in the slightest how much Abby would be hurt when her brother’s deal was done—one way or the other—and she walked away?
The thought infuriated me, so much that I couldn’t keep still any longer. I paced back and forth across the office, trying to regain some semblance of calm, but an hour passed and then another, and it seemed there was none to be had.
Emma had to go. I had no idea what I was going to tell Abby, but the first step had to be getting the woman out of my house to at least stop her from causing any more damage. I debated barging into her room now and demanding she get the hell out, but not yet. I was still too angry.
First thing in the morning then. I’d approach her calmly and coolly and demand she leave. Fortunately for her, that merely meant a walk across the lawn since she happened to own the house next d
oor.
But I didn’t want revenge. I just wanted her gone.
10
Emma
I awoke before the sun, a normal occurrence since Abby had come into my life. But I didn’t feel well, not exactly sick either, just…something…and it seemed like a terrible omen.
I’d been in denial the past few days, but I had a sinking feeling there would be no more denying it after this morning. I was never late. Never. And yet, here I was a full week late. I’d darted into the pharmacy yesterday when I’d taken Abby to the park, but the handful of tests had been sitting in my purse ever since.
I couldn’t put it off any longer though. I needed to know. So, I reluctantly climbed out of bed and shuffled to the bathroom, grabbing my purse as I went from where it sat on the dresser. And three minutes later, I stared down at the tiny positive sign in the pregnancy test window. It seemed so small; two thin, blue lines that crossed like the letter ‘t’. It seemed almost ridiculous that such a small thing could have such an enormous impact on one’s life. But if those two little lines were telling the truth, my life was never going to be the same.
My breathing came quicker the more I thought about it, and I could feel my pulse speed up. I had no idea if Ryan wanted more children. It wasn’t something we’d ever talked about. And that was because a relationship was something we’d never talked about either. I got the distinct impression that committing himself to me for anything longer than a few hours late at night was the last thing Ryan wanted. How was he going to feel when I told him he was going to be tied to me irrevocably, at least in this way?
But maybe it was a fluke. Yes, it had to be a fluke.
Grateful for the two bottles of spring water I’d downed before bed, I pulled out another test and repeated the same steps as the first. An old saying played in my head as I set the test down on the sink edge to wait, “Crazy is doing the same thing over and over again, and hoping for a different result.” It seemed fitting since I was most definitely feeling a little crazy at the moment.