Rogue

by Karen Lynch

  It stopped and I knew it was feeling for my Fae power. Glow? it asked fearfully.

  No glow, just us. I opened my mind to the black shapeless blob.

  Solmi! A bonded Mori had a one track mind; all it cared about was its mate. The demon forgot its fear and pressed against my mind eagerly.

  No matter how many times I merged with my Mori, I reeled from the sensations and myriad of emotions bombarding me. I gritted my teeth and let the initial wave wash over me. After a minute, my Mori reined in some of its emotions until I could think clearly again. It had taken us weeks, but we were both slowly learning how to join without overwhelming each other. I took a deep breath as it slowly released its dark power into my body until my muscles quivered from the increased strength.

  “Are you good?” Desmund asked.

  I opened my eyes. “Yes.”

  “Okay, we’ll start with the smaller weights and work up to the larger ones. You know the drill.”

  I moved to the first set of kettlebells that were forty pounds each. After ten reps I moved on to the sixty-pound weights and did ten more reps. The heavier the weights, the more I had to tap into my demon’s strength, allowing me to gradually widen our connection. By the time I got to the eighty-pound weights, I had so much power coursing through me I felt like I could lift one of my trainers.

  Nikolas and Desmund stood off to one side as I went through my workout routine, and I heard enough to know they were talking about Vancouver. I almost lost my concentration a few times, trying to listen to their conversation.

  “I’ve never seen them behave that way,” Nikolas said. “There were enough of them to wipe out several teams.”

  Desmund nodded thoughtfully. “It is unusual to hear of that many vampires working together.” His voice lowered, but not enough that I couldn’t hear him. “I am amazed you did not suffer casualties.”

  “I am too. If I didn’t know better, I’d think they were trying to capture us, not kill us.”

  A tremor went through me and my Mori, and I lifted the kettlebells with more force than was necessary, sending one of them flying away from me. The thought of Nikolas in the hands of vampires made me want to retch and hit something at the same time.

  Nikolas retrieved the weight and brought it back to me. “Are you okay?”

  “Great,” I lied. “Sometimes I don’t know my own strength.”

  He smiled and laid the weight at my feet. Then he went back to stand near Desmund again. I tried to tune them out, but it was no use. Nikolas hadn’t said much about what had happened that night in Vancouver, and I was dying to hear more.

  “You are fortunate then that help arrived,” Desmund said.

  “Yes,” Nikolas replied grimly. “We found almost twenty vampires dead in the street and near the house. I don’t know how he knew where we were, but he’s the reason we didn’t lose anyone. The Seattle team wouldn’t have made it in time.”

  Desmund’s gaze flicked to me then back to Nikolas. “It sounds like you have a powerful ally out there.”

  “We need one. We are already getting reports of more vampire attacks on our people. The team in Houston nearly lost two warriors last night.”

  I lost track of what they were saying when I started to feel the strain of being joined with my Mori. Sweat beaded my upper lip and my legs began to tremble. The clock on the wall told me only twenty-five minutes had passed since I’d started, and I knew I wouldn’t make it to thirty. Carefully, I set the heavy weights I was holding on the mat so I didn’t hurt myself when the demon strength left me.

  Desmund walked toward me. “You have thirty-five minutes left in this exercise.”

  I gaped at him. “I can’t last an hour. I can barely do half an hour.”

  “Nonsense. You are stronger than that. Continue.”

  My hands curled into fists at my sides as I held the connection with my Mori. The hands on the clock seemed to be glued in place, and I was shaking by the time ten minutes had gone by. My Mori’s presence began to buzz like a hornet’s nest inside my skull, growing louder with each passing minute. “I can’t,” I gasped. I looked at Nikolas, who watched me with eyes full of concern but made no move to intercede.

  “Am I late?”

  I turned in confusion to the door as Eldeorin walked into the room. He smiled at me then looked at Desmund. “Sorry, I was detained.”

  “Your timing is perfect,” Desmund said as the faerie joined him and Nikolas.

  I spoke through clenched teeth as my Mori shifted again. “What are you doing here, Eldeorin?”

  “Desmund and I talked last night about your training, and he mentioned the difficulties you are having with your demon. We came up with something that will help motivate you.”

  Desmund and Eldeorin had discussed me? What would a faerie know about joining with a demon? My eyes moved from Eldeorin to Desmund and then to Nikolas, whose expression gave nothing away. The smile on Eldeorin’s face set off warning bells inside my head, and Desmund looked entirely too pleased with himself. What the hell were they up to?

  Desmund approached. “We are going to try something new, and Nikolas has agreed to take part in our little experiment. You must stay joined with your Mori until the hour is up. If you don’t we will start over, but I don’t think that will happen.”

  “Why?”

  Eldeorin moved before I could blink. He reappeared behind Nikolas with his hands on Nikolas’s shoulders. A second later, Nikolas grunted and his jaw clenched as if he was very uncomfortable, but not in pain.

  Solmi! my Mori cried. I forgot about my pain and ran toward Nikolas. “Stop!”

  Desmund grabbed me from behind in an iron grip. “Your life could one day depend on you joining with your Mori. What if it was one of your friends’ lives in danger? Or his? Could you do it then?”

  I twisted, unable to break his hold. My eyes narrowed on Eldeorin, who met my furious glare without blinking. “Let him go, or so help me…” Eldeorin was very powerful. What if he accidently used too much of his magic? He could kill Nikolas or seriously harm him. I knew better than anyone what Fae magic could do to a demon, and I didn’t want that anywhere near Nikolas.

  “Imagine that is a vampire instead of the faerie,” Desmund said mercilessly in my ear. “What will you do?”

  He held me immobile and all I could do was watch Nikolas helplessly as minutes ticked by. My whole body trembled as fear and a violent urge to hurt someone boiled inside me. I was a pressure cooker that was about to explode.

  Nikolas grimaced, and I saw pain flash briefly in his eyes.

  Desmund slammed into the wall behind me. I moved so fast that Eldeorin barely had time to show his surprise before I ripped him away from Nikolas. The faerie righted himself quickly as I went after him, shaking with rage.

  A pair of arms wrapped around me from behind. “It’s okay, Sara. Calm down,” Nikolas said, pulling me back against him. My Mori and I immediately quieted at the sound of his voice and the touch of his skin on mine. I kept my eyes narrowed on Eldeorin, who watched us with blatant curiosity. Friend or no, I was going to kick his ass if he took a single step toward us.

  “Fascinating.” Eldeorin leaned against a wall nonchalantly, as if I hadn’t just thrown him across a room. “Sara, are you still joined with your demon?”

  “Yes,” I bit out.

  Desmund straightened his clothes as he walked over to stand a few feet from Eldeorin. “Interesting.”

  I scowled at them. “I’m glad I could entertain you guys.”

  Eldeorin ignored my angry retort. “You are not strong enough to throw off a warrior or me with your demon strength. You used your Fae magic.”

  “So?”

  “You used it while joined with your demon.”

  “What?” Fear shot through me, and I turned my attention to my Mori. The demon was calm and unharmed, and happy now that Nikolas was holding us. The realization of what I’d done shook me to the center of my being. Somehow I had used my Fae power while connected
to my Mori, without erecting a wall to protect the demon. How was that possible?

  Nikolas pulled me closer to him. “What does that mean?”

  “I am not sure,” Eldeorin replied, his gaze never leaving me. “Sara has told me that her magic hurts her demon. Perhaps she and her demon have adapted. Or perhaps her Mori is safe from her power when they are joined.”

  “Whatever the reason, I was correct in my assumption.” Desmund looked at me. “You think too much about merging with your Mori, instead of just letting it happen naturally. I thought that giving you something else to focus on would make you forget about the joining.”

  My anger rose again. “You couldn’t have explained it to me instead?”

  “We thought this would be more effective.”

  I pulled away from Nikolas, and he released me. “I can’t believe you went along with this.” I fought to keep my voice steady, but hurt crept into it.

  Nikolas shook his head. “I didn’t agree at first, but Desmund made me see that you needed incentive.”

  I rubbed my arms. “Hurting you is not incentive. It’s cruel.”

  “You know Eldeorin would not really harm me.” Nikolas took a step toward me, and I backed up.

  Desmund sighed. “I’m sorry you are upset, little one, but I think you will see this was all for the best. We’ve made significant progress in your training today.”

  “It is no wonder she cannot join properly with her demon, the way you coddle her.” Eldeorin’s blue gaze locked with mine as he walked toward me. “Everything we do is to help keep you alive, Cousin. I won’t apologize for that, just as I did not apologize for our training.”

  Nikolas looked from Eldeorin to me. “Apologize for what?”

  “Nothing.” I shot the faerie a warning look.

  Eldeorin looked at Nikolas. “Sara did not care for my training techniques either at first.”

  I almost snorted. Eldeorin had very different ideas about training, and it wasn’t like I’d had a choice in the matter. It was bad enough training with him and Nikolas separately. I didn’t think I could handle the two of them and Desmund working together.

  I breathed deeply, battling the emotions welling inside me. I felt manipulated and angry, and my Mori was still upset about seeing Nikolas in pain. And since we were still joined, I felt every one of its emotions as if they were my own. Looking at my three trainers only intensified my negative feelings.

  “I think that’s enough for today.” Nikolas’s tone left no room for argument. “We’ll continue this tomorrow.”

  I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Once I was away from them, I gently nudged my Mori and it separated from my mind. I heaved a giant sigh as all the noise faded from my head.

  I left the house and walked around the small lake twice before I stopped being hurt and angry. I understood their reasons for what they’d done, but it was hard not to be upset they had tricked me, even if their intentions had been honorable.

  After the anger passed, I was left with the shock of what I had done. I’d used my power while joined with my Mori, something that before today had been inconceivable to me. But then, I’d never tried to use my power while joined because I didn’t think I could.

  I sat in the new gazebo that had been built near the lake. Closing my eyes, I lowered the wall around my Mori.

  Are you okay? Did I hurt you?

  Solmi hurt, it replied, still a little upset.

  I almost rolled my eyes. One-track mind. Solmi is okay, I assured it. Did the glow burn you?

  No burn. The demon moved forward a little. Again? It asked eagerly.

  Not yet. Soon.

  I opened my eyes and stared at the pretty little lake as I tried to make sense of it all. For the first time, I left the wall down, and my Mori and I sat quietly together, not joined, but as companions. I sighed in contentment. This is nice, demon. I could get used to this.

  It curled up like a happy cat. Me too.

  Chapter 18

  “You’re going to Europe?”

  “Tristan suggested it, and with everything that’s going on, I think it’s a good idea.”

  I leaned against my balcony railing. “But you don’t like to travel.”

  Nate laughed on the other end of the line. “I used to love travelling when I was younger. I guess I lost interest in it for a while, but I’m looking forward to this trip.”

  “Are you going alone? Is it safe?”

  “Safer than here.” He sobered. “I wish I could convince you to come with me.”

  “I wish I could go too, but I can’t right now.” It was hard to think of him being so far away, but at the same time I was relieved he was leaving. It wasn’t safe here anymore, if it ever had been. In the three weeks since the Vancouver mission, Mohiri across the country had come under increasing attacks by vampires. It was as if the entire US vampire population had rallied together to declare war against us. Strongholds were strengthening their security, and some compounds were sending their children overseas.

  Whenever I got word that one of our teams was in trouble, Eldeorin and I went to help them. Sadly, we didn’t learn about some of the attacks until they were over. So far, three warriors had been killed and two had been taken. Every day I was terrified that someone I cared about would be next.

  Some days, Nikolas and Chris had to leave on Mohiri business, and I haunted the command center until they returned. I tried to be cool about it, but someone must have said something to Nikolas because he started calling me if he was gone more than a few hours. It helped to hear his voice, but I couldn’t stop worrying.

  Nate sighed. “I know, but I had to ask. Tell me again that you’re safe there.”

  “I’m surrounded by warriors and faeries and this place is under Fae protections. And I’ve learned a lot in the last few months.”

  “Desmund told us you’ve come a long way.”

  “I have.” My lips curved, and I wasn’t sure if it was a grimace or a smile. Desmund had stayed for almost three weeks to help with my training. After the day I’d thrown him across the gym he hadn’t tried to trick me again. He said he had newfound respect for my Fae powers, but I could tell he felt bad he’d upset me that day. That didn’t mean he had gone easy on me. He’d spent every minute of our training pushing me to work with my Mori and to join with it for longer periods of time. It worked. I could stay connected with my demon for over two hours at a stretch now. And when I wasn’t using my Fae power I often left the wall down between us, something that made us both happier. I no longer felt my demon’s loneliness. It wanted nothing more than to join with me permanently, but it seemed content for now to be free from its cage and to be with me.

  Nate chuckled. “To think I used to scold you about fighting, and here you are now, training with warriors.”

  “God. those days seem like so long ago, don’t they?”

  “A lifetime.”

  “Do you miss home?”

  He was quiet for a moment. “Some days I do. I know I can’t go back with things the way they are, but someday I’d like to visit again.”

  “Me too. I never knew how much I loved it until I had to leave.” I closed my eyes and tried to imagine that the ocean I heard was the Atlantic instead of the Pacific and that instead of standing on a balcony, I was on the roof of our building back home.

  “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about the apartment,” he said, interrupting my daydream.

  “What about it? You’re not planning to sell it, are you?”

  “I don’t know. It’s not like I need the money, but it seems like such a waste letting it sit there empty.”

  “But...” The thought of strangers living in our home made my chest squeeze a little, but it was unfair to ask Nate to hold onto it, especially after what had happened to him there. “You’re right.”

  “I’m not going to make any decisions right now,” he replied as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. “Judith is going to look after it until I decide what to do with
it. I asked her to pack up the last of my books and have them shipped to me here since it’ll probably be a while until I can go back.”

  Judith had been so good to Nate and me, watching over our place and taking in our dog, Daisy. According to Roland, Daisy was living on his Uncle Brendan’s farm now and the Beagle loved it there. I had planned to bring Daisy to Westhorne, but I knew she’d be happier at the farm. Brendan had a soft spot for dogs and he’d take good care of her.

  Judith had tried to catch my cat, Oscar, too, but he refused to be rescued, and had gone back to his life as a stray on the waterfront. She left food outside our door for him, and she said she caught a glimpse of him every now and then.

  Nate spoke to someone in the background then came back to me. “Listen, I have to go. I promised Desmund I’d play a game of chess with him.”

  “Chess with Desmund?” I let out a small laugh. “Well, it was nice knowing you.”

  “I happen to be a good chess player,” he said with mock chagrin. “And he is an interesting fellow. Do you know how many wars he’s lived through?”

  Maybe I should have said “Poor Desmund.” Nate loved anything that had to do with wars and military, and he’d grill the warrior until Desmund went back into hiding.

  “All right, I’ll talk to you later.” I hung up the phone and checked the clock by my bed. It was three o’clock, and I expected Eldeorin any minute for our daily training. Aine had returned to Faerie last week, saying that my training with her was complete. I’d been sad to see her go because we’d grown close the last few months. And because now that I had more free time, Eldeorin had stepped up his training. I’d lost count of the number of vampires and other nasty things I’d taken out in the last three weeks.

  One of the worst was the incubus who had been stalking women in New York. Incubi could choose not to kill the women they fed off, but this one had relished draining the life from his victims. He’d been a real piece of work, and I shuddered every time I remembered the way he’d practically devoured me with his eyes as I lured him outside of that night club. I’d showered for thirty minutes after I got home and swore I’d never go within ten feet of another incubus. Next time I had to go after one of those bastards, I was taking him out with a crossbow.