by King Ellie
“Son, Bubba…Shhh, it’s okay. It’s okay, you’re safe.” He said to him and I just knew that’s how he used to soothe him as a child.
Unfortunately, this didn’t work because the moment his father touched his arm, Carson screamed.
“No!” He took steps back. “Don’ touch me. Don’ you dare touch me again! No! No! NO!” He backed up until his back met the wall. He slid down as he clutched his head in his hands.
I couldn’t do it, so I stomped hard on Beau’s foot and he groaned in pain as he let me go. I slipped by everyone who was trying to hold me back as I ran to Carson. I didn’t care if he hit me by mistake, he was hurting, and I didn’t know why.
I kneeled in front of him and I placed my hand on his knee. He flinched but he didn’t say or do anything. My hand trembled as it reached out lightly gripping his jaw. I made him look up at me, those beautiful amber eyes gazed into my brown ones.
“Carson, my Carson.” At first, I didn’t know what to say but then I remembered the words he said with Jude. “You’re okay, you’re not there anymore. You’re safe.”
“Darlin’,” he called my name as though he wasn’t sure if I was really here.
“Say it, you’re safe.”
He inhaled and exhaled,
“I’m safe. I’m not there anymore.” As he finished saying this, he pulled me into his arms. The fog had cleared.
He held me tight.
“He did to our son what he did to me. That sick fuckin’ pervert took my son’s innocence away. He got himself off in front of our child. What could possess a man to do that to a child? To repeat a cycle as if it was okay the first time, he did it? How could he do this to my son? To me?” He confessed.
I held him so tight shutting my eyes because my heart broke into a million pieces at what he just told me. When would I ever stop crying and finding out things? When would those demons leave us alone? I wasn’t sure about killing his mother myself but now, because she was a mother and she allowed it to happen not only to her son but her grandson, I was going to kill her myself. She was mine to kill.
“HE DID WHAT?” I heard Carson’s father shout in the background. “That’s it. Bear, bring him to me. Bring me his entire fuckin’ family. I will burn them all alive! ALL OF EM’!”
I kissed Carson’s cheek and whispered in his ear,
“I love you above all else. No matter what, you are and will always be safe with me. Our son is safe with us now. We will love and cherish him.”
I felt him nod.
“I’m safe, he’s safe and most of all, you’re safe. I will love you guys even more than I’ve ever loved you before. I promise to make them pay.”
“And I’ll be right there with you because we are a team. I love you, Bubba.”
“Carson…” He corrected. I felt as he smiled.
I smiled too.
“I love you, Carson McDermott. My first love.”
“I love you too, Katerina Di’Maggio-McDermott. My only love.”
****
Carson
A piss drunk Ricardo was picked up at the bar O’Dowd and here he was, delivered to me in one of my favorite killing spots. On the outside it was just a simple ranch, with a family living here but far in the field, there was a door in the ground built just for times like these. It led down to an underground torture chamber. This was where fucking perverted ass Ricardo found himself with me, my father, Stanislav, one of the underground fighters that I knew who were vicious, I mean passed the point of no return and Beau. Ricardo sat on a steel chair, kind of like the ones they used to use to strap patients to. I would’ve opted for a straitjacket too, but we didn’t have enough time. So, there we were, with him tied to a chair, my instruments or rather knives that I used to torture someone along with different chemicals right within reach.
I slapped Ricardo, once, twice,
“Wake up! Wake the fuck up, bitch!” I hollered.
This last slap not only woke him up, but it was as if a dose of caffeine had entered his body because he was wide awake.
“Wha-, who? Who the fuck are you?” He screamed.
I smiled wickedly,
“I guess, I haven’t introduced myself properly. Hi, my name is revenge. Have you ever played Russian roulette?”
Without so much as a warning, I brought my hand up the one with the gun and I shot him in his thigh, so close to his dick, he wasn’t sure what to do. He yelled out in pain; I knew how excruciating the pain was, I laughed.
“Oops, there’s only supposed to be one bullet in here,” I shrugged, “Well, I guess I’ll save this for later. Stanislav would like to play with you first.” I winked at him as I stepped back in the dimmed area as this big, six-foot seven-man who looked like he ate men for fun stepped in the space that I was in.
“Wait!” Ricardo screamed out as if now realizing what was going on. “Who the fuck are you and what have I done to you?”
I put my hand up, pausing Stanislav. I got closer to Ricardo; I grabbed his jaw gripping it as if I was ready to break it. He could swallow my rage at how close I was to him.
“You don’t know me huh? You sick fuck. You had the fuckin’ audacity to masturbate in front of my child and succumb him to some perverted shit and now you sit here in front of me sayin’ you don’t know who I am? Mark my words, today, you die.”
Ricardo sharply inhaled.
“Lil’ Bubba?” He called out to me. I saw the change in his eyes, the weird admiration that sparkled in his eyes made me take several steps back.
“What the fuck?” I said out of shock.
My father noticed what was happening and he grabbed my wrist, forcefully pulling me behind him. Any other day, I’d laugh because I was a bit taller than my dad but today, I was reduced to a small child. The five-year-old me seeing a predator in front of me as he eyed me like he wanted me in a way that I knew he wasn’t supposed to.
I didn’t even realize what was happening until my dad swung his arm and his fist connected with Ricardo’s jaw. He broke it. There was a reason why I never challenged my dad or rather why no one ever challenged him because he was nuts. He was an enforcer for a good reason and also because he knew how to hit with such impact that it would hurt the most. It was only one punch, but Ricardo screamed and tried to reach out to nurse himself, but he was tied to the chair in front of him.
“Look at my son that way again, I will pluck your eyes out and make sure you can’t die. If you don’ believe me, just test me.”
Ricardo had the nerve to cry. He quickly glanced my way and then back to my dad,
“You don’ understand’,” he slurred, clearly still drunk add that broken jaw too. “I love him. I’ve loved him since he was a kid. There’s just something’ bout him that draws me to him and even now, I shouldn’t love ‘em but I do. You took him away from me, so I took the only thin’ you both loved! I needed somethin’ that belonged to bubba. My Lil’ bubb-,”
He didn’t get to finish his sentence as my father attacked him again.
My dad gave blow after blow each one further breaking Ricardo’s face in. My father, who was dressed in a black suit looking like a high-end lawyer who was coming from an important court case, used his fists like he was drinking water. When my father finished, he ran his fingers through his neck-length dark brown hair that had a hint of salt and pepper in it. He turned to face me,
“Take your power back. If you don’ do it, he’ll always have it.”
I nodded once.
I moved closer to Ricardo. At first, I wasn’t sure what to do but then the fact that I reacted this way pissed me off and then I thought of Jude. I couldn’t let Jude grow up like me; uncertain of himself, not able to look at his abuser in the eyes. There were so many things I couldn’t remember before, but it all swam back into my mind at the time. Like when Ricardo went as far as to try to pleasure a five-year-old me, but it wasn’t that, it wasn't pleasuring. It was perversion and it was warped. I didn’t understand what was going on and I didn’t want t
o.
I grabbed the first knife I had. It was a hunting knife, one I crafted and precisely carved out. The curve of the knife was my favorite part and don’t get me started on the grip.
“Son? Are you doing’ that weird thang that you do when you stare at your knives?” My dad asked.
I gripped it nicely and then stabbed Ricardo in his right thigh, the same exact area that I knew the bullet was lodged in. Ricardo screamed but I didn’t hear any of it as I turned back to my dad like a scolded kid.
“Pop come on! You know I take good care of my knives. Don’ make it weird now, okay?” I said as I jiggled it making sure that it stung much more this way.
The stench of piss filled the room, I pulled my knife out shaking my head.
“A whole pussy but he’s so ready to be a predator and do all sorts of creepy-ass shit to kids? I should rip his dick off right’ now!” Beau screamed out and spat on the floor.
I chuckled as I put the knife back and decided to dislodge the bullet with my hands. I knew how to do it quick and easy but why would I? I took my sweet time as I blocked out the crying coming from him. I sighed, as I took my fingers out and the bullet. I stepped back,
“I’m going to wash my hands and my knife before I sharpen the other ones. This one was a little dull.” I said to both my brother and my father.
At that, they shook their heads.
“You sharpened it before we got here, Bubba.” My dad replied.
“It wasn’t sharp enough, and you know it,” I eyed Stanislav as he stood there. “Shut him up for me, will you? It’s pissing me off.”
He chuckled as he began unbuckling his belt,
“When are you not pissed off around me?” He asked with a heavy accent.
“No offense, Stan, but if I smile with you, you’ll think I’m into the shit you’re into and then I’m gonna have to put a bullet in your head. You do good work for me so don’ fuck with me.”
Stanislav shrugged,
“Ehn.” Was his reply. “I like this gift though.” I turned away walking towards the sink area.
I didn’t have to turn around to hear as Ricardo tried to scream but I knew Stanislav shut him right up. I knew his thing, he would wrap the belt around Ricardo’s neck then fasten it to the point that he would need to open his mouth for air, which Ricardo just did. Then, Stanislav would stick his dick in Ricardo’s mouth making him gag on it. As he did this, I cleaned my knife and then moved over to sharpen my other knives. I wanted to use each of them.
“Manu?” Stanislav called out to me.
I slammed the knife down that I was sharpening hard on the counter.
“Fuck! What?” I bellowed turning towards Stanislav.
Beau snickered.
“You know how he gets when he’s sharpening his knives, hurry up and ask your question before he carves you out instead.”
Stanislav had the nerve to smirk, the sick fuck, he’d liked that.
“Where do I finish off? Is that all?”
I ran my hand through my hair realizing that I hadn’t tied it back.
“Stan! I don’ give two fucks what you do! Fuck him if that’s what you want to do. I don’t care just leave him alive for me because I want to carve him out. I haven’t hunted in a while,” I said calmly as I shook my head and went back to my task.
Chapter 20
Carson
Ricardo screamed out; I grew much more irritated.
“Stan!” I yelled. I turned to him as Stanislav had his head thrown back in ecstasy as he did what Ricardo would’ve eventually done to either Jude or me.
“What!” He yelled not stopping what he was doing.
“If you’re gon’ be doin’ all that, can you please shut him up? How dare you both mess with my damn moment? Ugh! Forget it, I’ve lost my concentration. Move!”
Stanislav acted like he didn’t hear me. I knew he heard me ask him to do something. I knew how I looked whenever I was itching to harm someone. I was crazy, unhinged, and definitely not to be trusted especially when I was ignored. I reached behind me where I had my other gun tucked and without thinking, I took it off the safety shooting Stanislav right in between his eyes. He dropped right on a still screaming Ricardo.
Beau, who had zoned out and was focusing on something on his laptop with dad, peered up at me. He sighed as if this was something he was expecting,
“So, what was the point of you killin’ Stan? We still coulda used him.”
I shook my head as I took my knives going back towards the table.
“I don’ trust any man that’s willin’ to jump on an opportunity to fuck a man who didn’ want him to. Rubs me the wrong way.” I admitted.
“Yet, here he was.” Beau decided to put his two cents in it.
I rolled my eyes as I kicked Stanislav off a now crying Ricardo. I didn’t care about the blood in his ass or the tears on his face, there was no sympathy in me left for a man who was a predator.
“Shut up,” I said to Beau.
“Boys,” Dad looked up from the computer, “not really the time or place, now is it?”
I shrugged as I flipped Ricardo over. I kneeled down to where he was. He had the nerve to touch me. His touch made my entire body shudder, so I stabbed him in the wrist. He cried out letting me go. I knew that I should’ve looked him in the eyes, but I didn’t like his creepy eyes or the way he was still staring at me with pure admiration and adoration. I don’t believe in someone as sick as him being in love with me.
“I did it for this…” I heard him say.
“Shut up,” I said as I was deciding which knife to use first.
“I can’t,” He said, and I growled. “I asked my brother for one thang an’ I promised I’d leave him alone. I wanted one thang. You. He didn’ gimme you, but I wanted you to think of me. That fucker messed up. He didn’t’ leave the apparent clues to get you back to me. We’ve suffered for seven more years on top of the others not seein’ one another. We paid off workers, the hospitals, the coroner and even a judge but you didn’ search. You should have searched for me earlier. I’ve never loved someone as much as I loved you not even your mother. She could never look at me the way you did, she never responded to my touch as good as I knew you could. If only you weren’t taken from me, I would’ve taught you how to accept me. How to love me. Jud-.” He didn’t get to finish his sentence.
I stabbed him in the midsection.
“Don’t you dare fuckin’ say my son’s name out of that despicable mouth of yours! Shut up!” I screamed out.
Ricardo coughed up some blood,
“It no longer matters because I got to see you again. I got to touch you, to see your beautiful face again, those expressive eyes. He could never be you. I tried to replace you but I couldn’, I lov-.” I didn’t let him finish this time, no matter what.
I began stabbing him over and over again. I didn’t even care anymore. Forget the plan, forget the torture. I wanted him to die for changing who I was as a person, for altering my life. He didn’t deserve that kind of power. He was a sick, sick human who didn’t have the right to tell me that he loved me. He didn’t love me, people like him and my mother, don’t know love. I screamed as I stabbed him over and over,
“NO MORE! NO MORE! I NEVER LOVED YOU! I HATE YOU!” I wasn’t sure when he died or when life left his eyes but when I felt my father’s arms around me, I knew I blacked out.
“Shhh, my boy,” He whispered in my ear as he gently brushed my hair back. “It’s done. You’ve got your power back. He can’t ever have it. He doesn’t love you; we love you, Carson. We love you, buddy, your family. You’re safe, you’re okay, you’re not there anymore.”
I didn’t care if anyone called me weak at this moment. I didn’t care about being a big scary man as I sobbed for the little boy inside who lived with monsters and my little boy who was subjected to the same thing because of me. Dad rocked my bloody self-back and forth as I realized what Jude realized with me, I was finally safe… in my father’s arms.
&
nbsp; ****
Katerina
I couldn’t believe the woman that was right in my face. I was freaked out by how much similar her and Carson looked. As she sat handcuffed on the floor of some hideout that Beau and Carson had, I observed her. I never knew what she looked like, so I never realized that she was the one at the hospital who was dressed as a nurse when she took Jude from my arms except now, there was a slash on her face. Why couldn’t I recognize her then?
I heard buzzing, commotion and all sorts of things but I couldn’t stop trying to get out of my seatbelt. I didn’t feel a thing, all I wanted was Jude. I screamed his name over and over trying to turn to the backseat to see him, but I didn’t see him nor hear him. I fought with my belt until it came off and I landed on the roof of my car which was flipped over. My window was shattered so it made it easier to crawl out through the window. I heard someone yelling at me, asking if I was okay but the world was irrelevant to me. I needed to find my son. I got to my knees checking if he was stuck somewhere but he wasn’t in the car at all.
“Jude! Jude!” I screamed.
I heard whimpering in the background. I stood seeing that the impact threw him out of the car, and he was on the pavement. I ran to him; I knew that something was wrong with me, but I was running on pure adrenaline. When I got to Jude, he looked at me, there was a huge gash starting from his collarbone to his left rib. I cried out.
“Somebody, anybody, please… Call 9-1-1. My baby, my baby…”
“Mama,” Jude called out to me.
“Shhh,” I said not even sure what to do. I shouldn’t have but I took him in my arms. I held him close to me. “Don’t speak. It’s okay. You’re going to be just fine, baby. I promise.” I didn’t believe my words and neither did Jude.
“Mama, I love Daddy, I love you.” He said to me.
“Shhh, baby, please stop. I love you; we love you. That’s all and we are going to all be okay. You’re going to see Daddy later on today. We’re going to see him get drafted. Today is his big day so we’re going to be there. We have to be there for him.”