“Hello, can I help you find anything?” a pleasant voice questioned from the front of the store.
Turning startled eyes from a dummy wearing what looked like a leather teddy to the pretty woman standing behind the register, Honor smiled stiffly as she nodded. “Yes, I think so. Are you Shay?” she inquired as she moved through the center aisle of the store with Maggie on her heels.
“I am,” the slender brunette answered. “You must be Honor McKinnon.”
“I am,” Honor replied, relieved that she wouldn’t have to explain why she was here to the other woman. Vaguely aware of Maggie drifting off to look at another rack of clothing, Honor moved to the counter. “I think you have a few items for me. Dr. Daniels called ahead, I think.”
“Bree sure did,” Shay grinned, reaching underneath the counter and pulling out a brown bag with handles. “I had everything she asked for, but why don’t you take a look around and see if there’s anything else you might enjoy. Was the older lady that came in just before you in your group?”
Sighing, Honor nodded. “Yes, that’s my aunt. She got a little excited over today’s trip,” Honor shared in a whisper.
“That would explain it? As soon as she hit the door, she was asking where the fake wee wees were,” Shay informed her with a laugh. “I hope she’s not diabetic. I offered her one of the penis suckers on her way back to the toy room,” the woman said, holding up the pale pink candy penis.
“N-no, that’s fine,” Honor replied, her eyes widening on the candy in the other woman’s hand. “Where exactly is the…”
“Toy room?” Shay supplied helpfully. Turning, she pointed to an open doorway just past a display of see-through underwear. “It’s just there, hon. Go have a look and I’ll ring you up when you’ve finished.”
Nodding, Honor turned to wave at Maggie and point at the door, letting her red-haired friend know where she’d be. Now, if she could just collect her aunt and herd her toward the door, they all just might be able to leave with a modicum of their dignity.
She should have known that was a pipe dream – especially since her aunt was along for the ride.
Honor walked into the room to find her aunt sprawled in some kind of black latex swing, happily sucking on her candy as she stared at what appeared to be an entire wall of wee wees. “Holy heck…” Honor gasped, her eyes wide as they took in penises of every shape, color and texture, all hanging innocently from metal pegs on the wall.
Looking over her shoulder as her foot nudged the floor, setting the latex swing into motion, Aunt Orla nodded understandingly, her loose iron gray bun bouncing when she moved. “I know! It’s shockin’, ain’t it? It’s like regular Dick-topia in here,” Orla proclaimed before putting the pink candy penis between her lips again.
“Oh, my, my, my!” Maggie drawled as she walked into the wide room behind Honor. “You’re right about that, Miss Orla. Although, I’d say it’s more of a cornucopia of cocks.”
“Cock-a-palooza!” Orla exclaimed, yanking her penis from her mouth and pointing it at Maggie.
“Will you two just shush!” Honor hissed, looking fretfully over her shoulder to make sure her crazy kinfolk hadn’t been overheard before turning back to focus on her ancient aunt and frowning. “Aunt Orla, WHAT is that contraption you’re sitting in?”
“I dunno, but it’s comfy,” Orla replied, as she rocked again. “Jethro and I have been lookin’ for a chair that doesn’t take up much space in our bedroom. This’un is right nice, don’t you think?”
“It’s a sex swing, Miss Orla,” Maggie said, walking closer to the black swing. See, you put your legs through those two holes and it spreads you out just so….”
“Maggie, shut up,” Honor hissed as her Aunt bent her head to peer at the two loops Maggie had pointed out. “Aunt Orla, don’t even think about it,” she ordered when it became clear that the old lady was going to try and slide one leg through the hole.
“What do you think the upkeep on a place like this is?” Maggie queried thoughtfully, looking around the room. “Paradise doesn’t have anything like this.”
Grabbing her aunt’s arm as the infuriating old bat wobbled precariously on one leg, Honor shot a glare at Maggie. “Oh, yes, that’s exactly what we need in town. A sex store will go ever so nicely between Hooks and Books and the pet store! We’ll just call you the Porn Princess of Paradise County!”
Pursing her lips as she met Honor’s glare with an unconcerned shrug, Maggie propped her hands on her hips. “You know, sarcasm isn’t a good look for you, darlin’. Besides, I need a hobby, and a sex store might be a fun investment.”
“Everybody okay in here?” Shay’s friendly voice called from the doorway.
“Oh, we’re just fine,” Honor called back quickly before turning to nail her aunt with a quelling glare. “Get up,” she hissed.
“I’m going. I’m going,” Orla grumbled as she began to stand, teetering precariously when her legs began to get tangled in the swing. “Oh, hellfire and horseshhhhhiiittt!” the elderly woman shrieked as her hands went out trying to find purchase against the wall, but only finding fake penises as her feet went completely out from under her.
“Auntie!” Honor cried out, her hand going to her parted lips as she helplessly watched her aunt topple.
“Oh, Bert and Ernie’s wrinkly balls sac! That hurt worse than the time Jethro bounced me off the bed,” a muffled voice complained from beneath the rubble of the broken sex swing and boxes of vibrating phalluses.
“Auntie?”
“Ask that nice young lady for another penis pop for me, Honor Grace. I bit my dick plumb in half while I was goin’ down.”
Sighing as she heard Shay and Maggie chuckle, Honor pinched her lips together and swallowed a curse before reaching down to help her relative off the floor. “I swear, Aunt Orla, we can’t take you anywhere,” she grumbled as she helped the senior citizen back to her feet.
“Maybe not,” Aunt Orla agreed with a twinkle in her eyes, “But you’ll never have more fun with anybody else, Peanut, and that’s a promise.”
Staring at Orla’s back as she wobbled away, Honor shook her head and bent to pick up the some of the fallen phalluses, making herself a solemn vow. “If this is what’s considered fun these days, I’ll just stay home next time.”
Chapter Nineteen
Wednesday, June 29, 2015 (Or Two Days Later)
11:15 pm
Honor
Eyeing the seemingly ordinary black box in front of her with equal parts trepidation and annoyance, Honor McKinnon wondered if it was possible for her to fake describing an orgasm to her therapist. Women convincingly faked actually having an orgasm regularly if all the articles out there were to be believed. So why couldn’t she just fib a little about experiencing the one she was supposed to give herself?
Of course, with her luck, Bree would want details. She could almost hear the woman ordering, “Define it, Honor. How did it feel when that big wonderful orgasm peaked? Did you see stars? Did you hear the voice of God?”
Poking the package on her bed gingerly with her toe as she remained frozen (except for her wriggling toe) and cross-legged in the center of her bed, she stared at the box like it was a ticking bomb, prepared to explode at any time. Fiddling with the hem of the short cotton shift she wore to bed, she knew she was wasting time. A woman could have probably given herself ten orgasms in the time she’d spent mentally willing the vibrator inside that stupid box to simply disappear.
She’d retired early tonight, lying to Zeke and claiming a headache. Oh, she knew it was unwise to lie. Zeke would worry about her, and God would probably punish her for her fib with an actual splitting headache tomorrow, but what was she supposed to have said? Hey, Zeke, I’m gonna have to call it an early night. I’m supposed to diddle myself with a piece of metal until I experience an orgasm, and I’m running out of time. My homework’s due on Friday morning.
Yeah, the truth wouldn’t have been uncomfortable for either of them. Not at all.
Collapsing backward onto a pile of her pillows at the head of the bed, Honor stared at the ceiling in hopeless disillusionment. She didn’t know what about this was so hard? She’d read books… she’d heard other girls talking. Heck, her own sisters had told her they’d done it before finding the loves of their lives. Evidently masturbation was all the rage and people played with themselves all the time!
“Yay, for them,” Honor sneered softly as she turned her head to glare at her gently glowing bedside lamp as she silently went on trying to reason with herself. There must have been something enjoyable about the whole process or people would stop doing it, wouldn’t they? So why in the world was it so hard for her to reach into the box, take out the small vibrator and put her hands down her panties?
Groaning and reaching for the package with one hand as she did a quick abdominal curl, she quickly opened the box and took the small device in hand. Honor shivered as she felt the cool metal of the vibrating bullet between her fingers. “You can do this, Honor,” she whispered to herself, fumbling to find where she’d spilled the small control panel on the bed beside her. The two parts were connected by a single thin wire. Shoving the bullet into her panties between her dry folds before she could lose her courage, she mindlessly twisted the dial of the controls sharply to the left as a loud buzzing sound filled the quiet room.
“Oh, Lord!” Honor yelped, dropping the controller as the cold metal jerked against her mound sending a scary jolt through her body that she hadn’t been prepared to feel. Mindlessly reaching for the speed control, she patted her hand against the bed desperately, unable to find the tiny panel. “Oh, God,” she wailed as the buzzing seemed to grow louder and the vibrating inside her underwear grew faster. “If this is supposed to be fun, somebody besides me needs their head examined?” she squealed, giving up her hunt for the stupid controller and instead focusing her attention on removing the wriggling metal from her underwear.
“Honor?!” She heard Zeke’s deep, concerned voice call from outside her closed bedroom door. “Baby, are you okay in there?”
“Oh, stop jiggling,” Honor begged the tiny, moving bullet as it seemed to burrow itself deeper inside her. “I’m fine, Zeke! D-don’t come in,” she squeaked, her voice high and unnatural as the bullet’s speed seemed to pick up again, this time bumping against some hidden button that sent a gasp flying from her lips
“You don’t sound like you…” Zeke countered as he opened her door and found Honor, flat on her back with her hand down her panties.
“Oh, God! This isn’t what it looks like,” Honor yelped, her fingers finally wrapping around that slippery piece of metal and hurling it across the room.
Taking a stumbling step backward before the projectile missile could hit him, Zeke’s back met the doorframe. Staring at her flushed face with unblinking eyes, his mouth hung open. “I’m…I’m sorry, Kitten. I thought…uhmmm….I mean, it sounded like….I thought you might need me in here.”
Clutching a pillow, Honor buried her face as she heard the buzzing sound continue. Dear God! Of all the people in the world to find her doing that, it had to be Zeke! And to add insult to injury, even now she could hear the bullet tapping against the hardwood floor, bouncing away. Evidently vibrators were durable since she hadn’t managed to bust that one when she’d thrown it across the room.
How was this even her life? She hadn’t even wanted to do this stupid assignment. And now Zeke had seen her like that? She probably looked like some whore with her hand shoved down her… “I told you not to come in,” she moaned, tears flooding her hot cheeks and leaking into the pillow. “Please just get out,” she begged, her voice muffled by the pillow. “Out, out, OUT!” she shouted when he hadn’t moved a second later.
Only looking up when she heard the door click shut, she quickly got out of the bed and put on her robe. Quickly collecting her cursed vibrator from the floor, she flipped the switch to turn it off and threw it back into the box, snapping the lid closed with more force than necessary. The blasted thing had done her enough damage, she thought unhappily. And anything that evil couldn’t stay in her house.
Wrenching open her bedroom door, she stomped toward the door, stopping only long enough to collect matches from the kitchen.
“Honor?” Zeke asked as he quickly stood when she entered the living room, pale and trembling. “Kitten, what are you doing? Where do you think you’re going?” he continued as he watched her head for the front door on bare feet.
“Burn barrel,” she replied succinctly, her voice thin. “I have some trash to dispose of,” she clipped, her cheeks still burning with abject humiliation.
Catching her with one arm around her waist, Zeke wrestled the box out of her hand. “Baby, stop! You’re not burning that. Calm down a minute and talk to me,” he urged as she struggled against him.
“Oh, God, Zeke,” Honor cried out brokenly as she sagged against his chest, her breath coming in hard, rough pants. “I can’t believe you saw me doing something so ugly,” she sobbed. She wasn’t sure what the point beyond humiliated was, but she was fairly sure she was there. Feeling the fingers of one of his hands curl gently around her neck, she rested the side of her face against the soft flannel of his shirt. He must not have gotten undressed for the night yet, she belatedly realized as she felt him lift her in his arms and carry her to the couch.
“Okay, it’s time for you and me to have a long talk about what the definition of ugly is.”
And as Zeke cuddled her in his lap and horrified tears continued to stream down her face, Honor knew that no matter how hard she prayed, she wasn’t waking up from this particular nightmare.
Zeke
Keeping one arm curled around the softly crying woman in his arms, Zeke tossed the box on the end table beside the sofa. Glaring at it, he shook his head. That damn thing had caused enough trouble for one night. “Honor, baby, shhhhh,” he hushed her against the crown of her head. “Everything is gonna be alright, sugar.”
“You…you saw me,” she whimpered, hiccupping when her breath caught in her chest. “You weren’t supposed to come in. You were supposed to be asleep while I did my st-stupid homework.”
Frowning down at the top of her bent head, Zeke tried to make sense out of what she was saying. Deciding to explain himself first, he spoke softly but clearly. “With a few of my officers out this week, I’ve gotten a little behind on my paperwork. Since you went to bed early, I decided that tonight was as good a time as any to get caught up on some reports. That’s why I was still awake. But, baby, what homework? Is what’s in that box why you had to go up to Gatlinburg earlier this week? She wanted you to buy a vibrator?” he questioned gently. He’d had a sneaking suspicion what Bree was sending her after, but what he’d seen earlier in Honor’s bedroom had pretty much verified all his questions. And damn…what a tempting sight it had been.
“And have an orgasm with it,” Honor moaned. “Orgasms are hard, Zeke. I can live without one. Especially if the whole process is gonna make me feel dirty and cheap and ugly. “She made me buy a porno movie, too, although, she called it ‘women’s erotica’.” Honor sniffled. “But I’m tellin’ her Friday, I’m NOT watchin’ it. Not after doing this made me feel so…so…yucky!”
Zeke closed his eyes and searched for the right words to help her through this awkward moment.
“I don’t know what all the fuss is about, either! I didn’t feel anything anyway!” She continued to babble irritably. “Just felt like a bunch of buzzin’ and jigglin’. And who the Devil wants anything that sounds like a weed whacker goin’ anywhere near her lady business? Honestly! Discreet and tasteful, my foot!” she went on railing. Shaking her head as she wound down, she sighed. “Maybe I’m just malformed. Do you think when those animals hurt me…”
“Honor, stop,” Zeke demanded gruffly, cupping her cheek and tilting her head back until her eyes met his. “You’re not malformed. You’re perfect.”
“But I didn’t feel the way everybody says I should feel when that t
hing was down there between my legs, Zeke,” Honor whispered as though she was sharing the worst kind of secret. “There was one spot where I thought I might feel something, but then it just went away. And I think, maybe, there’s just something not right about my lady parts anymore.”
“Your lady parts are in fine form, darlin’. I promise, there’s not a single thing wrong with your beautiful body. I’d stake my life on it.”
Honor shook her head in denial. “No, Zeke. You’re wrong.”
Inhaling deeply, Zeke knew there was only one way to prove her wrong. “Kitten, would you like an orgasm?”
“I just told you…”
“If you could have one, would you want one?” he cut her off sternly, his hand tightening on her jaw. “Just answer the question. Yes or no.”
“I guess I’d say yes. I wouldn’t mind knowing what all the blame fuss was about and it would certainly shut Bree up if I had one, but I’m not doing that again,” she said, pointing at the box as if it contained a poisonous. It felt kinda demeaning and lonely. And sort of clinical.”
“Baby, you weren’t in the right mindset to touch yourself. It’s supposed to relax you, not make you even more stressed,” Zeke admonished huskily.
“That was NOT relaxing, Zeke. I don’t see how that could relax anybody,” she argued as she looked at him with desperate eyes.
“Because you were thinking too hard about it. Honey, you aren’t exactly open to experiencing new things, baby, and when you do try them, usually it makes you nervous at first. Remember when Jethro and I taught you how to drive. You hated getting behind the wheel. You cried every time one of us made you. But when I let you put your country music on the radio, what happened? C’mon, sugar, tell me. What happened?”
“I was able to concentrate better,” Honor answered softly.
Man of Honor (Passion in Paradise Book 4) Page 32