by Amy Woods
Ryan left Ava’s side and joined them, crouching down to meet Shelby’s eyes. Katie worried that the child might be overwhelmed, but instead, she surprised Katie by studying Ryan’s face without a word. He didn’t say anything or push at all—just sat there and let the girl examine him, a warm, comforting smile covering his handsome features.
Katie’s grandmother stood behind Ryan, biting her lip as she watched the two meet. Shelby gently pulled her hand from the safety of Katie’s and reached it out to Ryan, who grasped it and gave a little shake.
“Hi, Mr. Ryan,” she said softly. “Are you coming with us to camp?”
Katie and Ava exchanged a look over Shelby and Ryan, both equally amazed and pleased that the two seemed to instantly take to each other.
“I sure am,” he said, giving the child a wide smile that reached all the way to his eyes.
Katie’s heart softened like the apples filling the pies still cooling on the kitchen counter, as she remembered the first time they’d met years ago. They had been right around the same age as Shelby was now. She’d fallen under his spell immediately, much like this little girl. Ryan had a way of making anyone around him feel at ease and more significant than anyone else in the world. She’d loved that about him from the moment she first spoke to him at the school bus stop on the sidewalk right out front of their two houses. To this day, she remembered every word that passed between them that morning, the exact colors of the striped shirt he’d worn and the pride with which he’d shown Katie his beloved superhero lunch box.
A bittersweet ache filled her heart.
There were a lot of things she’d loved about him then.
Had she ever really stopped?
Time, silence and sore hearts had kept them separated for a long time now, but suddenly Katie wished they hadn’t allowed such distance, physical and otherwise, to come between them. They should have made an effort to stay in touch. She loved her friends dearly and treasured each one of them, but even she had to admit that she’d never had another bond like she once shared with Ryan.
Katie glanced at her watch, as much to remove herself from the tender scene in front of her as to check the time. The three adults had spent far more time talking than Katie had anticipated, and while she loved catching up with her grandmother, whom she hadn’t seen in a few weeks due to being so busy at work and planning for the baby, she realized that they needed to get on the road in order to make it to the campground. Katie wanted everything to be set up perfectly before kids and parents started pouring in. If this was her last Pumpkin Festival, it had to be extra special.
“Speaking of which,” she said, catching Ryan’s eye, “we should probably get on the road.”
Ryan gave Shelby another one of his gorgeous smiles before standing up again. Katie hugged her grandmother one last time, promised to visit her sooner this time and helped Linda with Shelby’s bags.
“Can I sit next to Mr. Ryan?” Shelby asked, grabbing Katie’s free hand.
A tiny stab of ridiculous jealousy itched inside Katie’s chest at the knowledge that Shelby didn’t want to sit next to her. She knew she was being silly, and she should probably get used to it if she ever planned to share her kiddo with other people. Maybe her mother was right; maybe she was going to be a bit of a mama bear when her baby arrived.
“Of course,” Katie said, offering Shelby a genuine smile. It was a good sign that she was comfortable with Ryan. She usually had a little trouble with men, and Katie knew from her background that Shelby’s mom had been single before she’d given the child up for adoption, so she was glad that the little girl was able to warm up to him. Katie’s grandmother had asked if the girl could ride along with her granddaughter rather than in the van that would bring the rest of the kids later, knowing Shelby would be more comfortable that Katie loved spending time with the little one.
Just before Katie lifted Shelby into the truck, the girl’s features twisted with concern. “I forgot something,” she said, peering over Katie’s shoulder toward the home. The caretaker rushed over to ask what it was that Shelby had left inside. Katie put her back onto the ground and let her speak.
“I forgot Jeff,” she said. “Can we go back inside and get him?”
“Him?” Katie asked, looking into Shelby’s deep blue eyes.
“Yes,” she said, offering no explanation. Katie gave Linda, the caretaker, a quizzical look.
“Jeff is Shelby’s pet turtle,” Linda said, patting the young girl’s shoulder. “He’s very clean and quiet, and he doesn’t need much in the way of food or water.” Linda’s face was filled with tenderness for her little charge. “Shelby is very attached to him,” she said, lowering her voice almost to a whisper. “It would probably make her feel a little more at ease if she could bring him along on the trip.”
Katie agreed with Linda. Shelby probably would feel a little better if she had the turtle with her to bring familiarity to an otherwise new situation, but she was a little bit worried about the animal’s care and about how the other children might approach him. She said as much to Linda, but her concern was met with reassurance. Still, Katie hesitated.
“I know you love the little guy,” Katie said, “but don’t you think he may be safer here at home while you go camping?”
Shelby’s face fell, and Katie knew instantly that the turtle’s presence was far more important than any inconvenience he might bring. She was just about to apologize when Ryan stepped in.
“It’s all right, Katie,” he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. Shelby looked up at him as if he’d hung the moon. “Besides,” he said, “Jeff’s home is on his back, right, Shelby?”
Shelby nodded, and Katie was glad to see the worry disappear from her sweet face.
“That’s right,” she said. “That’s why he’s my best friend,” she said, “because no matter how many times my home changes, Jeff’s home is always the same.”
Tears pricked at the back of Katie’s eyes, and all she could do was nod her agreement that it was okay for Jeff to come along. Once the turtle joined them, Katie helped Shelby get settled into the center of the cab seat, between Ryan and herself, Jeff resting happily in his plastic carrier atop Shelby’s lap.
As they headed out of town, tentative rays of sunshine finally peeking out of the morning clouds, Katie couldn’t help the strong surge of maternal instinct—for Shelby and for the baby growing in her womb—that wove its way through her bones.
She stole a glance over at Ryan, whose eyes were once again shielded by his aviator glasses. He must have felt her staring at him because he met her eyes over Shelby’s shoulder and his lips curved up at the corners in a smile that was sweet, sexy, comforting. It made her feel safe, cared for, at home...for the first time since Bradley had walked out, for the first time since she’d lost her job, for the first time in...forever.
Chapter Seven
“Are we here?” Shelby’s quiet voice piped up from the center of the bench seat, pulling Katie back from staring out of the window as she’d done most of the way there, enjoying the simple pleasure of their peaceful drive through Peach Leaf, out past the Lonestar Observatory and down the highway toward the campsite.
“Yep, this is it, sweetheart,” Katie said, smoothing a few of Shelby’s adorably unruly curls with her fingers as they pulled onto the dirt path. Ryan looked over at her and grinned as they passed underneath the wooden arch that read Camp Peach Leaf. Seeing the words etched into the old oak board brought back memories of warm summer nights and year upon year of Pumpkin Fests.
As they pulled farther in, Katie pointed out the river for Shelby. They both delighted in the way sunlight sparkled on the water and the peaceful sound it made as it swiftly flowed by, banked by blankets of green.
The campground belonged to the museum and was founded as a way to preserve some of the land initially owned by early Peach Leaf settlers. It was available to rent for anyone who requested it, and the guest revenue had, up until that year, helped to keep it alive and well.
Through the years, it had seen summers full of laughing children, plenty of autumn events when the weather became cooler and even corporate retreats for businesspeople hungry for a taste of West Texas outdoors. And there was no shortage of activities available. The campground boasted basketball and tennis courts, a swimming pool, cabins full of bunk beds, paddleboats for the river and, Katie’s favorite, stables that were home to a few gentle horses.
She couldn’t wait to introduce Shelby to them, to see her eyes light up when she touched their soft muzzles, and the beautiful animals leaned in close, their large brown eyes searching for hidden apples or carrots.
But that would have to wait until later. For the next couple of hours, Ryan helped Katie and the other dozen members of the museum staff unload his and a few other trucks full of supplies. The camp facility was well stocked for meals, but the staff had brought along plenty of extra goodies, and the hay arrived as they were setting up, so Katie could finally relax a little, knowing things were coming together.
Ryan wouldn’t let her lift more than a couple of pounds worth of supplies, and he kept an eye on her the whole time, making her feel slightly nervous but also a little flattered.
The past few days had been confusing, and his arrival back in town had, at first, been the last straw in a week filled with unwanted, upsetting change. But with each passing moment, each time their eyes locked or he brushed against her, and when he’d held her hand back at the children’s home...Katie became more and more uncertain of what she felt. The emotions surging through her head and heart were a jumbled mess, and each minute brought something new...the comfort of having her old friend back, followed by fear that he would leave again very soon...the acute pleasure of his skin against hers, followed by the void she felt in its absence.
As she helped out as much as she could safely manage with her pregnancy, she kept a close eye on Shelby, watching as the little girl wandered around, picking wildflowers and talking to her turtle, oblivious to the adults surrounding her. She was amazed and pleased by how enamored Ryan was of their little guest. On the ride over, despite the quiet, Katie had felt a sense of calm in Shelby that she was certain the girl hadn’t experienced in a long time. She was so comfortable around Ryan, and Katie couldn’t blame her, but she worried about what would happen at the end of the weekend when Shelby had to go back to the children’s home without her new friend.
She sent up a silent prayer that Shelby would someday find a father as caring and gentle as Ryan.
When all of the supplies were unloaded and put away, ready for the weekend, Katie stopped to grab some water from a cooler they’d set up. She caught up with some of her colleagues from the museum and spent some time speaking with the campground’s caretaker, making sure he was okay and would survive the museum’s upcoming closure. She was glad to hear that the older gentleman, a man of about sixty who’d lived on the grounds for years and took impeccable care of the place, had a solid retirement plan and intended to buy a small home and do some traveling abroad when his job ended in a few weeks.
Thankfully, it seemed most of her fellow workers had made plans, either before or after hearing about the plans to close the museum, and she breathed a sigh of relief, glad that they’d found a way to get by without having to drastically change their lives.
She placed her water bottle under the spigot of a large red-and-yellow canteen and filled it with liquid before closing her eyes and taking a long, refreshing sip. The weather was amazing, but she’d worked up a little sweat with the exertion of the past few hours. When she opened her eyes and they readjusted to the sun, she saw Ryan approach, openly admiring the confident way he moved, his long, strong legs carrying him quickly to her side. The work looked good on him, his cheeks full of healthy color, drawing attention to those vivid golden-brown eyes and the handfuls of chestnut hair that almost reached his shoulders.
Sometimes she forgot that he wasn’t a kid anymore, and each time she saw him recently, she was struck anew by how well he’d filled out and grown into his body and all of his arresting features. He could be a model, she thought, forgetting herself as she stared at him while he walked toward her. Not for underwear or cologne, or anything like that, but for something much more rugged, sexier—maybe camping gear or something ultra-manly.
His lips turned up in a teasing grin as he approached, and she knew he’d caught her staring. For some reason, though—maybe because she was tired or just happy to be at one of her favorite places in the whole world—it didn’t even matter. She felt oddly unself-conscious, despite having been discovered ogling her old best friend.
“If I wasn’t so sure of the opposite,” he said, filling his own water bottle before drawing near her side, “I would think you were admiring me just a little, Katie Bloom.”
She looked down at her sneakers, her confidence from only seconds before having vanished at the sultry warmth of his voice.
“But that couldn’t possibly be true, now, could it?” He playfully bumped his shoulder against hers, and her skin heated where he’d made contact.
She smiled in spite of herself and looked up into his handsome face. “Ryan, I...”
Katie couldn’t seem to finish her sentence. Something had been building between them since he’d hugged her that morning, or really, since he’d stepped foot back into town, back into her life. She resented the fact that she hadn’t been given a choice in the matter. He hadn’t given her any warning before he showed up again, just as he hadn’t when he’d left. She really wanted to be angry, to give him the silent treatment or to ignore him completely and get on with her weekend and then figure out what to do with the rest of her life...but she couldn’t. Instead of logic and reason, all she had to go on was the itchy yearning in her chest that started every time he looked at her or stood within a few feet of her.
It must just be the pregnancy hormones.
She couldn’t handle the way he was staring at her expectantly, seeming to want her to say something, so she changed the subject.
“Shelby seems to be doing okay,” she said, nodding in the direction of the little girl.
Ryan followed her line of vision and his features softened when he caught sight of Shelby. “She does, doesn’t she?” he said. “I find it really hard to believe that the right parents haven’t come along and snapped her up yet.” He took a sip of his water. “Anybody would be lucky to have a kid like her.”
“Yes, they would,” Katie agreed. “She’s special, though, and she deserves the perfect family. I guess they just haven’t come along yet.”
He nodded and drained the last of the water from his bottle. Katie sensed that it was the right time, so she took a deep breath. “You know...I’d really like to hear about your family,” she said, the words so soft she wasn’t sure he’d heard them.
He didn’t say anything for a long moment, and Katie worried that her instinct had been wrong, that maybe he wasn’t interested in talking to her about anything personal. Perhaps he really was just doing her a favor by driving her out here and didn’t have any reason to want to repair their friendship. She saw a darkness pass behind his eyes, but then it washed away. “Sarah and I didn’t work out in the end,” he said, his voice low and dim, tinged by what sounded like dissatisfaction or regret.
Katie nodded quietly, giving Ryan space to think and speak if he wanted to. He’d always been a private person, holding difficult things close, not letting others in until he was absolutely certain they could be trusted. Katie had always carried a sense of pride that she was one of the very few people Ryan had always been able to confide in, and she’d always fiercely guarded every tidbit of himself that he offered her.
She was only mildly surprised to find that she still wanted to be someone he could trust, still wanted to matter to him in a special way.
His voice was clearer when he spoke again, but still contained emotions that Katie couldn’t quite pinpoint.
“We weren’t right for each other,” he said, watching as Shelby sat on th
e ground a few yards away and set to work weaving her bundle of flowers into a string, her little turtle in his plastic house by her side.
“I guess I knew that from the beginning,” he said, turning to meet Katie’s eyes. “I think the whole town did, really. People certainly weren’t shy about telling me not to marry her when I did.”
“So why did you?” Katie asked, the question she’d carried around with her for years slipping off the edge of her tongue with alarming ease.
It was a little crazy, she thought, how simple it could be to say words that once seemed impossible to speak. Maybe that was what friendship was...being able to come together again after a long period of separation and start over where they’d left off as if only a few seconds had passed.
But the word friendship still had power to make her uneasy, causing her to face once again what she’d known long ago: she didn’t want to be Ryan’s friend. Why couldn’t she just accept that he hadn’t been interested in loving her differently then, and it wasn’t likely his feelings had changed? Life would have been so much easier if she’d been able to do that long ago...to simply command her heart to feel the opposite to what came naturally.
* * *
Ryan set his water bottle on the ground and rubbed his hands over his face. He motioned for Katie to join him on the grass and they both sat.
“At the time, I believed with all my heart that I was doing the right thing by marrying the mother of my child.”
He’d imagined doing this with Katie many times over the years they’d spent apart—telling her how it had felt to commit his life to someone he’d liked, but not truly loved, at least not the way he did Katie. He’d enjoyed Sarah’s company for a while, had reveled in the attention of the popular blonde cheerleader the last few months of high school and, looking back, he knew why he’d given in to her charm, to the way she’d worshipped him, winking at him from the sidelines at football games, cornering him by the Gatorade cooler when he’d been high on the euphoria of a game well played.