by Melanie Rose
Too tired to argue, I had flopped into Lauren’s bed at nine-thirty, wearing one of her silky nighties, and had fallen asleep the minute my head touched the pillow.
Getting up at nine-thirty wouldn’t do, I told myself, as Clara thrust a cup of coffee under my nose. I’d lose my job if I came to work as late as this on a regular basis. Now that I knew my fantastic theory about occupying both bodies alternately seemed to be actually true, I realized that somehow I was going to have to work out the timings better.
It was just that I wasn’t sure how on earth I was going to manage it. Lauren couldn’t go to bed before nine every night, and next week it was going to be worse because she was going to have to be up by seven to get the children to school without ruining my—Jessica’s—social life. How could I possibly be in bed by seven o’clock every evening?
“This has to be one special kind of guy,” Clara commented. “You were miles away, Jess. Are you going to tell me all about him?”
An image of Dan popped into my head. She was right, he seemed like a really nice guy. I liked him. Throwing down the mail, I groaned and put my head in my hands. I knew that there was something more than friendship brewing between us, but what was the point in pursuing it when my whole life had just been turned upside down?
“Girl,” Clara said, her fingers pausing on the keyboard as she studied me across the room. “You and I are going to have a serious chat at lunchtime. This I want to hear.”
By lunchtime I had caught up with the typing of various notes I had taken for Stephen the day before, and leaned back in my chair, flexing my shoulders after a morning spent bent at the computer. Clara pushed back her chair and reached for her coat.
“I know you’re about to scurry off to walk that dog of yours,” she said as she handed me my jacket. “So I thought I’d walk with you.”
I was about to protest, when I realized I was being selfish. I had wanted the time I walked back and forth to the flat to think about what was happening to me, but Clara was a good friend and I didn’t want to upset her.
We grabbed the sandwiches we’d bought earlier from the girl who did the rounds of the local offices with her sandwich basket, and headed out of the office just as Stephen strode up the steps unbuttoning his overcoat. “Going out, ladies?” he commented. “I hope you won’t be too long. I’ve got some injunction statements I need to dictate.”
“We’ll be back within the hour, Mr. Armitage,” Clara replied sweetly.
Stephen scowled and I thought he was going to protest, but he seemed to change his mind and he opened the front door and disappeared inside, leaving Clara flashing me sympathetic glances.
“He’s never really gotten over you moving out after you found out about the barrister lady he was wining and dining, has he?” She looked at me sideways from under long, dark lashes.
“I think he thought I’d forgive him and go crawling back after spending a few months on my own,” I agreed, quickening my pace. “Come on, Clara. We’ve got to walk all the way back to my place and still have time to eat.”
“Is the barrister still on the scene?” she asked as she hurried along beside me.
“As far as I know, it never did blossom into a relationship. I think Stephen was testing the water with her and she wasn’t as interested as he’d hoped.”
“Did you never consider going back to him?”
“Clara, his two-timing was the best thing that could have happened to our relationship. It wasn’t going anywhere.”
“I think he might have wanted more from you, you know. He seemed really keen. I thought you two might even get married.”
“I didn’t want to get married, Clara. Maybe that was the problem; that Stephen wanted more than I was prepared to give.” I turned to face her as we hurried along, conscious that after meeting Dan my protestations of independence might no longer be quite as vehement as they had been previously, but I forced out the old adage anyway. “I want a career, not a husband. I want to be able to afford nice things, not settle down and have babies. Not yet anyway,” I allowed.
“Stephen would have been able to give you nice things. He must earn plenty of money.”
My mind went to Lauren’s extravagant wardrobe, her jewelry, shoes, and bags. “I don’t want to settle for being a kept woman,” I explained. “I want to achieve a good job and a top salary for myself.”
“Maybe he just wasn’t the right guy for you, then. But there are plenty more of them out there, you know; you don’t have to live your life alone.”
I thought of Dan again and felt a shiver run through me. Clara might have a point there, I thought, but I pushed the notion away and shook my head.
“My strategy has been not to let anyone get close enough for me to find out, and it has worked pretty well up until now,” I told her.
Clara shook her head, but refrained from talking anymore since I was setting a fast pace and she was having trouble catching her breath. We arrived at the flat in less than ten minutes to be greeted by Frankie’s ecstatic barks the moment she heard the key in the lock.
As I pushed the door open, Frankie leapt up at me and tried to lick my face.
“This is one happy dog,” Clara commented as Frankie turned her attentions to my friend and began to bound in circles around her.
“Sit down, Frankie!” I called from the kitchen as I poured tap water into the kettle. “And you too, Clara, please take a seat.”
We ate our sandwiches while the kettle boiled and then I made us both a cup of coffee.
“So tell me all about him,” Clara said, eyeing me over her mug as she sipped at the coffee. “I assume that it’s Lightning Man who’s been hogging your thoughts?”
I grinned at her.
“Clara, you are so unsubtle. And yes, I have been thinking about Dan, and yes, he is rather gorgeous. We went out for a drink last night.”
“Drink? You? I’m surprised you didn’t put the poor guy off—I bet you ordered water!” She narrowed her eyes at me. “So what did you do after the drink that left you so exhausted you were late this morning?”
I stood up and took the empty coffee mug out of her hand, depositing it in the kitchen. The activity gave me a moment to gather my thoughts. I couldn’t very well tell Clara the truth; she’d think I was crazy. I fetched Frankie’s lead and attached it to the dog’s collar before answering.
“I came home early and went to bed—alone. I think the lightning strike on Saturday wiped me out more than I realized. I’ve been feeling very tired.”
Clara narrowed her eyes, considering this information. She obviously chose to believe me, though, because she got to her feet, pulling on her coat as she did so.
“You poor thing. Are you going to contact him again?”
“He said he’d call in a day or two.”
“Let me know if he does. I’m dying to know more about him.”
We walked Frankie for the next twenty minutes, then returned to work with about a minute to spare. Stephen had obviously been waiting for me. He called me into his office before I’d even had a chance to take my jacket off.
“How did it go in court?” I asked, peeling off my coat and taking the seat opposite his desk.
“Oh, you know, the usual.”
He stared at me intently, then seemed to make up his mind about something.
“Jess, I’ve got tickets to a concert in the Albert Hall on Saturday. I was wondering if you might like to come with me?”
I stared at him blankly. This was the first time in two years he had asked me to go anywhere with him. I’d thought we’d made the transition from lovers to work colleagues remarkably smoothly, and I was happy with the arrangement as it stood.
“I’m sorry, Stephen,” I spluttered. “I’m not sure that would be a good idea.”
“For goodness’ sake! I’m only asking you to a concert. There doesn’t have to be strings attached. I just thought you might enjoy a night out.”
He started banging piles of papers around on his d
esk and I felt myself tensing up. The room seemed very warm suddenly and my head began to swim. I put it down to the fact that I’d just rushed in from the cold outside, and ran a hand over my eyes.
“You don’t have to make a big deal out of it,” Stephen was saying indignantly. “If you don’t want to go, then that’s fine by me…”
His voice tailed off and grew muffled, as if he were walking away from me down a long tunnel. I felt the heat rushing up the back of my neck and my senses grew woolly, then I felt myself pitch sideways and everything went black.
Hands were shaking me, calling my name.
“Wake up! What’s the matter with you?”
I tried to stir, forcing my senses to function.
“I’m sorry… I don’t know what…”
“Wake up, Lauren. For goodness’ sake!”
“What?”
I stared around me at the dark bedroom, my thoughts in total disarray. Grant was standing by the bed, shaking me roughly by my undamaged shoulder, his hands warm on my bare skin where the slinky nightie straps had fallen sideways.
Pulling myself into a sitting position, I registered the hysterical wailing that was emanating from somewhere along the landing. The children!
“What’s the matter?” I croaked, swinging my legs out of bed, feeling the deep pile of the carpet soft between my toes.
“Teddy’s having one of his nightmares, Lauren! He’s been sick everywhere. Now he’s set Toby off and he’s crying, too. I can’t cope with them on my own.”
Bewildered and disorientated, I set off down the landing, pulling Lauren’s satin negligee around me as I went. The boys’ bedroom light was on, both boys sitting up in bed howling loudly. Teddy was covered in vomit. It was on his pajamas, in his hair, all over his space-rocket duvet cover and even on his precious ball.
Sizing up the situation and glancing at Grant’s ashen face, I realized I was going to have to take charge.
“Could you run him a bath, Grant?” I instructed as I shushed Toby and gathered Teddy gingerly onto my lap.
Grant disappeared in the direction of the bathroom and I could hear the water running in the distance as I rocked the frightened little boy back and forth in my arms.
“I wa… want… Mu… Mummy,” he sobbed.
“I know, I know,” I crooned, trying to ignore the smell. “You’re all right now, Teddy, I’ve got you.”
He tried to push me away, but I kept him locked in a bearlike embrace, and after a moment I felt his little body relax and fold into me.
“Mummy was on fire,” he mumbled through his sobs. “I want Mummy back.”
“I know, Teddy,” I whispered. “Believe me, I know.”
I cuddled him for a long time while his breathing grew steadier and his body stopped trembling. As Teddy’s sobs subsided, Toby also stopped crying and rested his head back down on his pillow, sticking his thumb into his mouth and watching us quietly.
“Bath’s run,” Grant said from the doorway.
“Come on,” I said to the sleepy form in my lap. “You’re going to have a night bath! That will be exciting, won’t it?”
By the time Teddy was bathed, and I’d put a clean sheet and duvet onto his bed, Toby was fast asleep. Kissing them both on the tops of their heads, I gathered up the soiled bedding and trooped downstairs to load it into the washing machine. I wasn’t sure how this particular model worked, but I found detergent under the sink in the utility room and turned the machine on to what I hoped was the right cycle.
Grant was back in bed when I returned to our bedroom. I looked at him sitting propped against the pillows with his bare chest showing above striped pajama trousers and felt a flush of embarrassment that I was expected to get back into bed next to this complete stranger.
At least with Stephen, I thought, I had chosen to be there, even if he hadn’t been terribly exciting as a lover.
“Are they settled now?” Grant asked.
“Yes, they’re both asleep.” I found I couldn’t look at him and averted my eyes as I continued, “I checked on the girls and they don’t seem to have been disturbed by it.”
“They’re used to it. Teddy does that when anything’s bothering him.”
“Does L—I mean, do I always sort him out?” I queried as I went through to the dressing room to find another nightdress, then popped into the en suite bathroom and threw Lauren’s stained nightie into the bath. After slipping the clean one over my head and making sure I was suitably covered, I washed my hands and ventured back toward the bed.
“You or the nanny; though he’s not usually as sick as that. I expect it was the pizza. The children aren’t used to rich food so close to bedtime.”
I registered the mild accusation in his voice as I climbed discreetly under the covers and turned my back on him. Pulling the duvet up around my shoulders, I felt him settle down next to me as he turned out the bedside light.
A moment later, Grant’s hand arrived on my thigh, stroking me gently through the flimsy fabric of the nightdress.
“Stop it, Grant!” Alarmed, I yanked my leg away. “We talked about this earlier. I’ve got to get to know you all over again, and it will take time. Do you want me to move to the spare room?”
He grunted “No,” made a snorting noise, and rolled over in bed. With our backs turned firmly to each other, we fell asleep again.
I awoke to find a bright light being shone into one of my eyes, and sat up with a start. Dr. Chin let go of my eyelid and jumped back in surprise.
“Where am I?” I asked, staring round at my unfamiliar surroundings.
The smell of antiseptic coupled with the sight of the surrounding curtained cubicles, blue-uniformed nurses, and shiny linoleum floors reflecting overhead fluorescent lighting brought the truth home to me before a familiar voice beside me answered, “You’re in the emergency room, Jessica. You’ve been unconscious for ages!”
Clara was sitting on a hard-backed hospital chair, her face pale even under her smooth Caribbean complexion.
“How long have I been here?”
Clara glanced at her watch.
“About an hour and a half, I suppose. Girl, you gave us such a fright! When Mr. Armitage called out that you’d fainted in his office, I went running in there to find you out cold on the floor. We tried sitting you up, Mr. Armitage even slapped your face, but you wouldn’t come around. In the end we called an ambulance and they brought you here.”
“How do you feel?” Dr. Chin asked, taking my pulse and scribbling something on a chart. “You had us worried, Ms. Taylor.”
“I’m fine now, honestly. I just felt a bit faint, that’s all.”
“You have been unconscious for nearly an hour and three-quarters, Ms. Taylor. Has anything like this ever happened to you before?”
“Do you mean before the lightning strike? No.”
“I think we should keep you in for observation. I would like to monitor your vital signs for at least twenty-four hours.”
I became aware that I was attached to a heart monitor, which was beeping rhythmically beside the bed, the sticky ends adhering to my chest and left side.
“I don’t want to waste your time,” I said, looking beseechingly at the doctor, then at Clara. “You must have more urgent cases who need this bed. I’m feeling fine now.”
“She said she was feeling very tired earlier,” Clara volunteered helpfully. “She shouldn’t have come back to work so soon if you ask me.”
“I did tell you to rest,” Dr. Chin admonished, wagging a finger at me. “Lightning strike is a very unpredictable thing.”
“Have any of my vital signs been unstable while I’ve been unconscious?” I asked.
Dr. Chin stared at the chart.
“You appear to have been in a state of stasis. Very low heartbeat, low blood pressure, and low body temperature. Like a very deep, dreamless sleep. No abnormalities.”
“I really do feel fine now,” I said persuasively. “Couldn’t I just go home?”
“I
f you go home, you must take a day off work, maybe two.”
“I will.”
“Okay, I will talk to the consultant. If he agrees, I can let you go home later.”
“Thank you.”
“Well, I don’t think you should go home,” Clara said as Dr. Chin moved away. “They called him down from the ward specially when I told them you’d been in here on Saturday. I thought he was going to keep you in. He was really attentive while you were unconscious, coming to check you every twenty minutes or so himself. I can’t understand why they’re thinking of letting you out. You’re not yourself at all, Jess.”
I nearly laughed at Clara’s choice of words. I certainly wasn’t myself, at least for half the time anyway.
“I’m not discharged yet,” I cautioned her. “They might still change their minds.”
“I’m going to telephone the office,” she said, pushing back her chair. “And tell them you’re awake and okay. Mr. Armitage was beside himself when you wouldn’t come around.”
“Not concerned enough to come with me in the ambulance, though,” I pointed out.
“He had a client coming in at two-thirty, or I think he would have. I said I’d go with you, and he seemed very relieved. I followed the ambulance in my car.”
As soon as Clara had gone to find a phone, I tried to organize my thoughts. What had happened this afternoon was hugely worrying. It seemed to mean that not only was I inhabiting Lauren’s body during my night, but that if the need was urgent enough, she could draw me there even when I should be awake here. Where did that leave me? What about my own life? How could I ever contemplate a relationship of any kind with Dan, or anyone else for that matter, if there was a chance I might disappear at any time to be Lauren?
“What’s the time, Clara?” I asked when she returned from making her phone call.
She consulted her watch again.
“It’s nearly four o’clock. I could murder a cup of something hot. Shall I go and see if the hospital shop is still open?”