But she didn’t. In truth, she had yearned for month to go further than exchanging a few stolen kisses here and there. She longed to be alone with him and feel his body pressed against hers. To savor his kisses and explore how it felt to lie together. As soon as he locked the door behind them, they fell into each other’s arms.
“I’ve wanted to do this for months, my darling,” Werner said as he rained kisses all over her face.
“Me, too,” Marled murmured, but all of her words and thoughts ceased to exist the moment his lips touched hers. She was thrown into the sheer magic of love. There was no need for words to express their feelings. Not the good ones and certainly not the bad ones. His kisses were a promise of a bright future, where they could be together forever.
Their first night together was exquisite. Werner was a wonderful lover and she responded passionately to his touch. By the early hours of the morning the champagne bottle was empty and the couple exhausted. Drunk on love, Marlene fell into a deep sleep.
She woke in the morning, surprised to find herself alone in the room. She rolled over to Werner’s side of the bed, but it was cold. Then her gaze fell on the note lying on the nightstand.
“I realize now that passion is not love. It’s not going to work out between us, we are too different people,” the note said. “Please don’t try to contact me again. This is for both our sakes.”
Anger took over and she imagined strangling him after scratching out his eyes. The money he’d left for her on the nightstand made her feel used and dirty. It tainted the wonderful experience of the previous night.
“What a fool I’ve been. How dare you treat me like this?” she shouted at the walls that discretely kept their silence.
The chimes of a nearby clock tower reminded her of the time, and she jumped up and frantically got dressed. Her parents must be worried, wondering where she’d been all night. Her parents!
Sheer panic crept up her spine. If her father knew what she’d done, he’d beat her to a pulp. She needed to come up with an alibi, and quick. Bruni – no that wouldn’t work since her father despised the singer for her lose morals. Dr. Ebert – no, she didn’t want him to lie for her. Zara! Yes, Zara lived nearby in the French sector and despite her father’s newfound hate for Zara’s father, she was still an acceptable character witness.
She rounded the corner into Zara’s street the moment her friend left her house.
“Hey Zara!”
“Hey Marlene. What are you doing here this early in the morning?” Zara hugged her.
“I need to ask you a favor. I…can you…in case my parents ask…” Marlene felt her ears burning with shame.
Zara took one scrutinizing look at Marlene’s face and giggled. “You had a secret rendezvous? Let me guess…with Herr Böhm?”
Heat emanated from Marlene’s face, giving away her secret. “It’s not what you think. We broke up.”
“I’m sorry,” Zara said. “So, what am I supposed to do?”
“Just in case my parents ask, will you please tell them I spent the night with you? Because it got late and I was afraid to return home alone?”
“No problem. And hey, if you want to talk…”
“No thanks. We talked. We quit. There’s nothing more to say.” Marlene would not tell even her best friends about the shameful experience of this morning. Nobody would ever find out, and for all she was concerned, Werner Böhm never existed. Traitorous scum. He wasn’t worth shedding a single tear over.
When Marlene got home she found her mother in tears and her father in a furious rage.
“I’m so sorry. It got late and I spent the night at Zara’s place—” she began.
“Thank God you did,” her mother sobbed. “The Markgraf police came for you last night. Why, Marlene? What have you done?”
“You have to resign from the student board. I allowed you to study, not to meddle in politics,” her father shouted.
“I will,” she said half-heartedly. Right now, she had more urgent problems. Shaken to the core, she rushed to Georg’s place. His sister opened the door, visibly distraught when Marlene asked about him.
“He’s not here. He received a call last night to visit Erich over in Kreuzberg and hasn’t returned home since,” his sister said.
The icy hand of deathlike fear squeezed Marlene’s heart and froze the blood in her veins. “Thanks, I’ll get in touch when I find out something,” she told Georg’s sister and turned on her heels.
What now? Check on Julian? Better not, since he lived in the Soviet sector. The abductions usually took place at night, but even in broad daylight, Marlene didn’t feel safe right now. She decided to pay Lotte a visit. Maybe she knew something.
By the time she arrived at Lotte’s apartment, the grapevine had done its work and Lotte frantically wrapped her arms around Marlene, “Thank God, you’re okay.”
“You have heard?” Marlene asked.
“Yes, it’s awful. In total a dozen student leaders, all of them not members of the SED, have disappeared last night. Julian, Georg, Klaus, and Sandra, among them,” Lotte said in a hoarse voice. “We thought, you too.”
Marlene’s feet suddenly gave out under her and Lotte dragged her inside to flop onto the sofa.
“I…I happened to spend the night at Zara’s because it got late…” A thought entered her mind, but the idea was too absurd to even consider it.
“Lucky girl. Looks like you have a resourceful guardian angel,” Lotte said and brought Marlene tea. “Here drink this for the shock. You had better not go home, at least for a few days until the dust has settled.
Marlene nodded in a haze, her brain not really up to the task of processing a rational thought.
“...and don’t go to university either. Don’t enter the Soviet sector.” Lotte looked at her with a sorrowful face. “You know how wicked the Russians are. They never try an accused person, because the moment you’re accused by the party, you’re already guilty, since there’s no room for error. The only thing remaining is to determine your punishment.”
Completely traumatized, Marlene thanked Lotte for her advice and took a bus to the French sector where Bruni lived. The quick-witted and well-connected woman would know what to do.
It was almost noon when she arrived and Marlene kept ringing the bell until a tousled Bruni finally appeared in her nightgown.
“What the hell, Marlene?” Bruni growled, but stopped when she saw the stricken look on her friend’s face. “Come in. But you better have a good reason for this. If you’ve woken me to whine about a lover’s quarrel, I’m going to kill you.”
Trembling, she told Bruni what had happened during the last twenty hours.
As always Bruni was quick to assess the facts and find the hidden connections. “Wow! Böhm must have known about the upcoming raid.”
Marlene had her own suspicious about this already, but she still denied it. “No, I don’t believe he did. He’s not in the education department anymore.”
Bruni waved her argument away with a graceful movement of her hand. “It’s the only explanation for his otherwise very peculiar behavior. Why else would he show up on your doorstep after spending the day with you, wearing a French beret and taking you to the French sector? Seducing you to spend the night with him? Was he any good, by the way?”
“Bruni!” Marlene protested. “That’s completely beside the point.”
“But I’d still like to know.” Bruni made a dreamy face. “I’ve had many men, but never a German emigré to Moscow. I’d really love to know how they compare. Does he make love like a German or like a Russian?”
“I’m not going to tell you,” Marlene all but yelled at her friend. “Suppose he knew, why didn’t he just tell me? He didn’t have to seduce me just to save my life.”
“Do you ever listen to yourself?” Bruni laughed. “You wouldn’t believed him. You’d have wanted to prove that there’s law and order in Berlin and stayed at home.”
Marlene shrugged. Her friend might be
on to something. Not that she’d ever admit it. But Werner obviously knew her well enough to suspect that she’d never have listened to him. “It still wasn’t the right thing to do.”
“You’re furious because he saved your life?” Bruni asked, tossing her blond hair behind her shoulder.
“Yes, I am. He doesn’t love me, he just slept with me to save my life. How cruel is this?”
Bruni couldn’t hold back her laughter and giggled, “Personally I think that’s a great reason to sleep with someone.” Then her expression sobered and she added, “Why on earth did you become a student leader? No, don’t tell me, you were pushed into it and couldn’t say no.”
“Yes, that’s about it. You know me too well,” Marlene answered with a subdued voice.
“You do realize you’re in a lot of trouble, right? We should visit the military administration and clear your name, since you can’t be on the run indefinitely.”
“No, I can’t. What if they’re still looking for me?” Marlene gasped.
“Be glad that you have me,” Bruni smiled. “Major Dengin owes me a favor. Now first, I want you to write a letter.” She sat Marlene down at a table with paper and a pen and began to dictate…
True to her word, Bruni accompanied Marlene into the Russian sector and called on Major Dengin who attended to them immediately.
“Fräulein von Sinnen, it’s always a pleasure to see you, but what brings you here?” He said with a questioning look at Marlene.
“My dearest Major, this is my friend Fräulein Kupfer and she’s got herself into some trouble through no fault of her own,” Bruni explained, batting her eyelashes.
“Hmm.. what kind of trouble exactly?” he gave Marlene the once over, making her skin crawl.
“A terrible misunderstanding, dorogoi . My friend has such a good heart, she couldn’t say no when she was coaxed into the student board several months ago. But as soon as she heard of the disrespectful things planned, she wrote her resignation last week already, because she doesn’t want to have any part in any activities disrespecting our Soviet friends and benefactors.”
Marlene watched the two of them with eagle eyes. The major didn’t seem convinced, but he obviously was no match for the cunning Bruni.
“Look at her, Anatoly. Does she look like a troublemaker to you?” Bruni said and Marlene mustered her most innocent smile.
“I know about the awful happenings,” he said, leaving it unclear whether he meant the demands of the students or the abductions last night. “It won’t be easy to clear her name. There will be a lot of red tape involved.” He looked expectantly at Bruni and shook his head with a sad expression. “And right now, where my mother is so sick…”
Bruni picked up on his demand instantly, leaving Marlene gawking at the well-rehearsed performance unfolding in front of her.
“Your poor mother! How could I forget, Anatoly? You’re taking such great care of her, all the while being thousands of miles away here in Berlin.” Bruni produced a small brown-paper bag from her handbag and laid it on his desk. “After hearing about her latest bout of sickness, I arranged for this.”
He peaked into the bag, his eyes springing open. The bag disappeared into his uniform pocket faster than a lightning flash. Then he took up the phone and barked orders in Russian into the headset. When he returned his gaze to Bruni, he looked very satisfied. “Dearest Fräulein von Sinnen, your friend should be exonerated. But could you leave a copy of her resignation letter with me, just in case?”
“Certainly, dear Major Dengin.” Bruni gave him a charming smile, retrieved the letter she and Marlene had prepared earlier, and handed it over to him. “Anything else you might need?”
“If I do, I’ll come and see you at the club,” he said, folding his thick fingers across his considerable stomach. Then the huge imposing man got up, his medals clinking as he walked them to the door. Marlene thought she would faint before she got out of the building and Bruni linked her arm to steady her.
“I’m going to look like death warmed over tonight after missing my beauty sleep,” Bruni complained.
“I’m sorry,” Marlene said. “I’m so grateful for all...”
“That’s what friends are for,” Bruni laughed. “Just stay out of trouble for a while. Not that I anticipate trouble after the major has sorted things out, but one can never be too careful.”
That night Marlene was plagued with nightmares, expecting a knock on the door at any moment, but none came. In the morning she felt like she’d been run over by a tank and dragged herself to university, where everything went on as if nothing had happened. Nobody even whispered about the ghastly events from two nights ago, but Marlene felt as if the empty spaces of the taken students stared at her, accusing her of cowardice and betrayal.
After class, Lotte sidled up to her with a surprised look. “You here?”
“I can’t stop my life, just because of this,” Marlene said and then recounted what Bruni had done for her.
“But aren’t you afraid?” Lotte closed her oversized shoulderbag, ready to return home.
“I’m terrified. Last night I barely closed an eye, afraid to hear a knock on the door.” Even in the streaming sunlight, Marlene felt the ice clog in her veins as images of NKVD police dragging her away stormed her brain.
“Can’t you move out of the Soviet sector, at least for a while?” Lotte asked, bringing her back to the present.
It was a tempting idea. Because if she was horrified in plain daylight, how much worse would it be each night? And for how long? She shook her head. “I don’t have any place to go…”
Lotte grinned at her with that cheeky smile only Lotte could pull off and said, “Move in with me.”
“With you? What about your sisters?”
“Ursula just moved out after marrying Tom and Anna and her family won’t mind.” Lotte looked at her and added, “And we sure could need someone to share the rent now that Ursula isn’t here anymore.”
Marlene laughed. Even before considering her parents’ reaction, she decided the lure of feeling safe at night was too much to resist. “Okay, then.”
Lotte hugged her, jumping up and down. “Let’s go and get your things right now.”
“Are you afraid, I’ll change my mind?”
“One can never be too sure,” Lotte said and Marlene nodded.
Chapter 28
While it didn’t come as a huge surprise, when the call came to summon him to the SMAD in Karlshorst Werner was visibly shaken.
As the vehicle stopped in front of the building, he stepped out with trepidation. Werner had been here many times and always found the building impressive, but today it looked dark and threatening. He suppressed a shudder and walked inside, where he was told to wait.
Several minutes later, a soldier came and said, “General Sokolov is ready to see you.”
Sokolov sat at his monumental desk, looking down the table with six chairs in front of him. Five chairs were already occupied: chief-of-police Markgraf, SED head Gentner, two men from the NKVD and Kurt Lang, Werner’s successor at the education department.
An acute awareness took hold of Werner and he felt his pulse ratcheting up. The setup promised a rather unpleasant meeting.
Sokolov cut right to the chase, “I must congratulate Comrades Markgraf, Gentner and Lang for the efficient and swift handling of a problem that might have blown out of proportion should we have let these misguided students continue on their path.”
Werner’s breath stuck in his lungs and he dared not breathe. His name hadn’t been mentioned. That was a bad sign and he could already hear the rattling wheels of the train destined for banishment.
After some more compliments, Sokolov turned toward Werner. “You may wonder, why I invited Comrade Böhm to join our meeting.”
The tightening noose around Werner’s neck fell from his shoulders. If the general still called him comrade , he hadn’t fallen from grace – yet.
“There’s a taint to the entire action, bec
ause we couldn’t get hold of one woman.” Sokolov’s alcoholic-red face turned into a deep purple.
Markgraf visibly flinched and promptly stood up. “Comrade Sokolov, our police arrived at her house as planned, but she wasn’t there.”
“I know that already! Tell me something I don’t know!” Sokolov yelled, his face turning into a pained grimace.
His ulcers are tormenting him again. Now he’ll chew our asses until we feel the same pain he does, Werner thought.
“Yes, General, of course.” Markgraf looked like he’d throw himself to the floor and literally lick Sokolov’s boots. “We have immediately investigated the whereabouts of this woman. She was seen leaving the French sector in the morning, where she’d spent the night in a hotel with a French private called Etoile.”
“Was the man questioned?” Sokolov asked, his stare furious and his voice intimidating.
Werner institutively ducked, even though he wasn’t at the receiving end of the general’s wrath.
“Comrade General, we…the German police are not allowed to question Allied personnel,” Markgraf replied, his limbs shaking.
Werner glanced at Norbert, somehow expecting him to come to Markgraf’s help, but the other man didn’t even blink. A sudden anger rose in Werner, the whole raid had been Norbert’s idea, but now he let Markgraf pay for it. Bootlicking, cruel, power-craving sycophant Markgraf certainly deserved it, but somehow Werner was still annoyed at Norbert’s betrayal.
It showed him very clearly his own position in this political game. Despite being a high-ranking SED official, he was nothing more than a dispensable pawn. One wrong step and he’d be taken off the playing field and tossed aside.
Markgraf continued talking “…if you wanted to investigate the Frenchman, you’d have to file a formal request with the Kommandatura or wait until he enters the Russian sector and then your people could…”
“Stop! Useless louts! Why is it that I have to do everything myself to get it properly done?” Sokolov raged.
It was a rhetorical question, but the police chief nevertheless answered it, “Because we can’t compete with your unmatched wisdom and foresight.”
From the Ashes Page 16