by Amanda Ashby
“What is it?” she managed to say. Her heart rate galloped as a slow smile spread across his face and he leaned forward. His leg shifted and his bent knee skimmed hers.
“This crush of yours. It’s driving me crazy trying to figure out who it is.”
Her crush?
She swallowed and tried to remember how regular girls acted. Ones who weren’t stuck in the most embarrassing conversation in the world.
“It’s no one. Can we talk about something else?”
“Definitely not.” He rubbed his chin, his mouth thoughtful. “I never see you talking to other guys. I figure it’s not Gareth. And it can’t be Hudson…I hope it’s not. Please tell me you’re not crushing on my sister’s boyfriend.”
“Of course I’m not.” She shook her head. How was this conversation happening?
“Good to hear. So who then? Do I know them?”
Intimately.
She swallowed and made a deal with the universe. A change of subject and next year she’d raise enough money to buy double the amount of toilets.
“That’s a yes,” he somehow reasoned. He got all that from her burning face? “Except most of my friends are at this party. Does that mean your crush is here? At the party?”
For someone who didn’t think he was smart, he seemed to have the intuition of a heat-seeking missile. She swallowed. It wasn’t lost on him, and he instantly scanned the room before peering out the window. When he turned back he was frowning.
“Pete and Max aren’t right for you. As for Myles—”
“Can we please drop it? It’s not any of them. It’s not…it doesn’t even matter.”
“Matters to me,” he said as he leaned forward. “As your ex–fake boyfriend I have to tell you that none of the guys here are good enough for you. And if they’re here but it’s not any of my friends then—” His eyes widened and his jaw went slack. “Wait. I’m your crush.”
Thanks for nothing, universe.
Her mom often told her that when you found yourself in a hole, the first thing to do was stop digging. She let out a reluctant sigh.
“Fine. Yes. I’ve had a crush on you for ages. There, happy?”
“Delighted.” He broke into a smile before dipping his head. “And a little confused. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because, in case you didn’t notice, before we started this thing…talking to you was sometimes a problem. Words didn’t come out right.”
“That’s why you never spoke to me? I thought that was because I was a dumb jock not worth your time.”
“You’re not a dumb jock,” she said, her panic giving way to annoyance. “You have to stop saying that.”
“You know this game works both ways. There’s more to you than fundraising. It seems like you’ve been sidelining yourself,” he said, his fingers finding hers and closing around them.
“You’re turning me into a sports metaphor?” Her whole hand was on fire from his touch. “And that’s not true. I haven’t sidelined myself. I’m just focused.”
“You had a crush on me and never said a word for the entire time we’ve been hanging out? That’s sidelining,” he retorted.
“It’s not like that. Besides, it’s a crush. They’re meant to be secret. You’re not meant to do anything about them,” she protested, but his mouth was a fixed line.
“Yes, you are. What if I hadn’t crashed into your table? How would I have known?” His voice was low, and it slid along her skin until she could hardly breathe.
“Please, can we forget it?”
“I don’t want to forget it. I like you, Norah.” His words were pressing into her chest, and his navy eyes were almost black against the low light of the room. Her throat went dry and heat hummed in her veins as he leaned forward, her fingers still trapped in his.
I like you.
Except he only said it because he didn’t really know who she was.
She pulled her hand back and her fingers drifted to her sweater.
Keep your friends close and your flaws closer.
Zac didn’t miss her retreat.
“Probably shouldn’t have said that.” He leaned back against the glass and stared at the ceiling. Embarrassment glowed in his eyes. “Shouldn’t have brought you here to a dumbass party. Shouldn’t have made a move on you.”
Did he think she was rejecting him?
She wanted to laugh. Or throw herself at him. But she couldn’t.
She either told him or she didn’t.
Took a chance or didn’t.
“When I was six, I was in a car accident—” Her mouth went dry. Flashing lights from the ambulance. Antiseptic and squeaking shoes from the hospital. They were all blurs in her memory. The real memories were from later. The pain, the poking, the sorrowful eyes. “Me and my dad were on our way home from the library when another car hit us.”
Next to her, he stiffened. The frenetic energy was gone as he sat, statue still.
“Were you hurt?”
She nodded, adrenaline surging through her. The only people she’d ever talked about it with, besides her mom and Greg, were her two friends. There was a good chance she was going to throw up.
“My side of the car took the impact. I don’t remember anything but waking up in the hospital with a ruptured spleen, a crushed pelvic bone, and some busted ribs. There were a lot of operations. Then I caught an infection. I was in the hospital for what seemed like forever.”
Something like pain flickered across his face. “What about your dad?”
“He was fine. Just some scratches,” she said as the room warped and shifted around her.
“Why are you telling me this?” Zac finally asked, his brows knotted together in tight concentration.
I have no idea.
“Because my stomach’s covered in scars,” she said, the words jagged in her throat as she dipped her gaze. There. She’d said it. Relief and shame jostled for attention. “Now you know why I never did anything about the crush.”
He sucked in his breath, not speaking.
She should go.
This whole thing was a mistake. Piper would come and collect her. Or Gareth. Right now she’d even call her mom if it meant avoiding this conversation.
She shut her eyes, trying to decide the best way to leave, when his fingers trailed along her chin, tilting her head back up. Her eyes were still closed, but she could feel his breath on her cheek.
“Did you think I wouldn’t like you because you had some scars?” His voice was low. He almost sounded angry.
“It’s okay. I mean, I get it.”
After all, he wouldn’t be the first. Her dad hadn’t stayed. Couldn’t cope.
“I don’t think you do.” He leaned forward, so he was inches from her face. “We all have scars. You should see some of mine.”
“They’re not like this.” She tried to swallow, but her throat was too dry. “Kennedy and the other girls here, they all go around wearing bikini tops. I-I can’t do things like that. I’m different.”
His fingers dropped from her chin and he rubbed his face. He still looked angry. But why?
“I know you’re different.” There was that growl again. “But I don’t just like you for how you look…I thought we had a connection.”
She widened her eyes. That’s why he was angry?
“I didn’t mean to make you sound shallow. It’s just…this isn’t something I talk about much.” Or at all. “After the accident, every time I had to go back to the hospital, doctors wanted to look at the scars like I was an experiment.” She swallowed, trying not to think of the way her skin had been inspected with methodical interest, as if they didn’t even realize how humiliating it was. Even going for her annual checkup, her doctor still liked to examine them.
Suddenly Zac’s fingers were entwined in hers. “That must’ve sucked. All of it. Hell, I can’t even imagine what it was like…but you shouldn’t be embarrassed. None of it was your fault.”
“Thank you,” she said truthfully
as the pounding in her brow faded, not sure if it was because of what he said, or that his fingers were tight around hers. All she knew was it was helping to ground her.
“I mean it, Norah. There’s nothing wrong with you—” He broke off. “Wait…you said you bought your first goat because of a poster you saw in a waiting room. Was that after the accident?”
“Yes.” She was no longer surprised he always remembered every small detail. “It was…good to have something else to think about.”
“And that’s the reason you didn’t like me randomly hugging you at the beginning.” His eyes were bright, as if he was trying to solve a puzzle.
“I always worry that my T-shirt might slip,” she reluctantly admitted as a look of awe swept across his face.
“Anyone told you you’re amazing?” His voice was low, but it was all she could hear as it echoed through her body.
“No.” The words came out as a croak as the room faded away, leaving only the two of them.
“Well, they’re idiots,” he said, though the growl in his voice had gone, replaced by a smile. “I meant what I said. I like you.”
A flutter ran through her belly. She’d told him about the accident. And about the humiliation of her scars. And he still liked her.
“I like you, too,” she whispered, barely daring to breathe as he leaned closer. Blood thundered in her ears. Was he going to kiss her? Was she going to let him?
Yes.
His mouth brushed hers, feather light, sending small darts racing around her body.
“By the way, now we’re on a real date, the kissing rule no longer applies,” he murmured, and this time his kiss wasn’t as soft. His lips teased hers, exploring her mouth so slowly that her insides melted. Then he kissed her neck and along her jaw before capturing her lips again. His hands found their way into her hair, and his scent caught in her nose.
“It was a dumb rule anyway,” she managed to reply as his hands cradled her face. Then his mouth was on hers again and she was lost.
11
“What do you mean you kissed him?” Piper squeaked on the other end of the line the following morning. “I know I joked about it, but I didn’t think it would really happen. This is unbelievable.”
Norah had to agree. It was unbelievable. And yet it had happened. She’d told Zac about the accident. About her scars.
And he hadn’t gone running off into the night.
They’d kissed. An amazing kiss that was followed by an even more amazing one. Granted, she didn’t have much to go on, apart from some bad eighth grade kissing at camp. But when he’d boasted of being a great kisser, he hadn’t been lying. Her mouth was still tingling, and the scent of his soap was clinging to her skin.
“It’s kind of weird.” Norah fumbled around in the plastic box until she found the coffee percolator. She needed caffeine and she needed it now, though half of her was almost too scared to do anything that might break the foggy bubble she’d been in since last night.
“You say weird, I say wonderful. Though it totally blows away my own news.”
“News? Did something happen with SageKnight194?” She finally located the percolator and coffee beans.
“Kind of,” Piper admitted, losing some of her bravado. “He said he liked me. Really liked me.”
“Wow! Does that mean you’re going to meet? Do we even know where he lives? Should I be panicking here?”
“Hold on there, Sherlock. It’s fine. He didn’t suggest we meet, or exchange photos, but he…well…we talked. Like really talked. Do I sound like an idiot?”
“Not at all.” She wasn’t sure who was having the more unlikely romance—her and Zac, or Piper and SageKnight194.
Her mom walked into the kitchen. She was wearing a floral dress and had a cute pink purse over her shoulder. For a Sunday, she was dressed up.
“Hey, I’ll call you back,” Norah said and turned to her mom, phone still in her hand. “Are you going out?” She surreptitiously touched her face to check there were no signs she’d spent half the night kissing.
“I’m picking Greg up from the airport at eleven and we’re going to brunch. Want to come?”
She shook her head. “I’ve got loads of auction stuff to do. And before you say it, my homework’s finished and everything’s under control.”
“Relax. I’m not breathing down your neck. So, how was the party? I didn’t hear you come in.”
“It was…really great.”
“Ah.” Her mom raised a knowing eyebrow, and Norah winced. She should have stuck with it okay, fine, whatever. “Anything you want to tell me?”
“Nope.” She gave a violent shake of her head. They were super close, but she wasn’t quite ready to talk about Zac. She glanced at the screen of her phone. “Shouldn’t you be going if you want to pick up Greg?”
“Yes, though we’d like to meet Zac. You could ask him to dinner tonight.”
Norah’s stomach dropped.
That was a terrible idea. The worst.
“Tonight? Mom, I really don’t think so. We don’t even have a kitchen.”
“He’s a teenage boy. He’s hardly going to care about our kitchen, and if you’re spending time with him, we’d like to meet him.”
“He might be busy,” she said, desperately wishing the conversation had taken place after she’d had her coffee. She would have been a lot better prepared for it.
“You can soon find out. Ask him. And if tonight doesn’t suit, then we can pick another time.”
She groaned. Who asked someone to meet their parents after only one date? Especially when everything was all so new? But she could hardly say that she was still in that awkward place of moving from a fake date to a real one, which meant she was stuck. Trapped in a web of my own making.
“Fine. I’ll let you know.”
xxxx
An hour later, Norah sat in her car staring at the playing fields three blocks away from the school. Zac hadn’t been answering his phone, and after leaving several panicked messages, she’d called Via, who said he’d be with his under nines. The team he coached. He’d mentioned them a few times in the last couple of weeks, but she hadn’t remembered. Probably been too busy staring at his mouth.
And now she’d get to stare at it again as she asked what was probably the most embarrassing question in the world.
Hi, want to meet my mom and stepdad? You’re right, it does sound like fun.
Somehow she doubted Kennedy Quinn had to go through this.
She reached for a jellybean. Blue. Perfect for nerves. At least it was fitting. Grape-laced sugar blasted through her mouth as she climbed out of the car.
The green grass had been turned into a series of mini fields with white nets at each end. There was an old wooden clubhouse by the parking lot. Kids were running around, red-cheeked and noisy as parents huddled in groups, talking while clutching coffee cups.
She scanned the field and hitched in a breath. He was wearing a bright pink T-shirt and was surrounded by a gaggle of tiny girls, also dressed in pink. Even from the distance she could see his hands move, like he did when he was telling a story. Seconds later, his young audience all jumped up and down in delight.
Apparently she wasn’t the only one who found him irresistible.
She increased her pace, the stray leaves crunching under her feet. When she was halfway across, he spotted her and his brow shot up in surprise. He jogged over, followed by the group of girls all running after him like pink ducklings.
“Hey,” he said when he reached her, not at all out of breath. “What are you doing here?”
Good question. Why hadn’t she waited until he was wearing more than a T-shirt and black shorts that showed off way too much of his muscular legs? The last time she’d seen him was when he’d dropped her home after the party. They’d kissed for so long her toes had curled. Yet now she wasn’t even sure if she’d imagined it all.
“I tried to call, but you weren’t answering,” she said.
“My phone’
s in my kitbag.” He shrugged as one of the girls tugged at his arm.
“Who’s this, Zac?”
“This is my good friend, Norah. Say hi to her.”
“Hi, Norah,” they all chorused back before the first girl narrowed her eyes. “Are you two dating?”
Norah blinked. Were eight-year-olds allowed to ask questions like that? “Um—”
“Yes, as it happens we are,” Zac said with an easy grin, obviously not sharing her inner turmoil. “And I’m guessing Norah has come here to kiss me. I’m very irresistible.”
“Gag,” one of the girls said, and Zac raised an eyebrow.
“Are you giving me shade? Fifty sit-ups from the lot of you.”
“Fifty?” Another one folded her arms, shrewd eyes narrowed. “No way. Ten star jumps is our best offer.”
“Acceptable.” He grinned and blew his whistle. “Go and do them over there. I’ll be with you in a minute.”
“Bye, Norah,” they called out as they ran away, ponytails bobbing.
She went to speak, but before she could, he stepped closer and his mouth brushed hers.
“That’s better,” he murmured as he pressed his nose into her hair. “You okay?”
She swallowed. “Uh-ha,” she managed to stammer, not sure it was even a word. She swallowed and tried to collect herself. “They’re so cute.”
“You’re only saying that because you haven’t seen them play. Cathleen there could make Pete cry in envy with her bicycle kicks. And Lara’s a beast when she has the ball at her feet. Don’t let the braids and pink shirts fool you.”
“Speaking of pink.” She nodded to his own T-shirt and ran a finger along it. He captured it, grinning.
“The girls insisted. I like to think I rock it.”
He sure did.
“Hi, Zac.” An impossibly beautiful girl with chestnut hair and golden skin stopped nearby. Her eyes drifted over Zac before landing on Norah. Then she gave a dismissive shrug and returned her attention to him. Next to her was a second, equally gorgeous girl. They were both dressed like they were going to a party.