by LeAnn Ashers
He is lying in this bed with me, his fingers touching the most scarred-up part of my body. It seems wild that a week ago I was crying myself to sleep, so worried that no one could ever look at me and I could never be intimate with a man.
It all seems so soon, but it feels so right. Lying here with him, this feels like it’s exactly where I am meant to be.
I wish I met him when I was eighteen years old. He could have been the father of Alisha. I could have had a completely different life but, in the end, everything happens for a reason.
Maybe it was meant to be that way?
“Sleep, baby, I have you.”
My poor heart can’t take much more of Smiley. He is the sweetest person in the world, and I will never get over how well he takes care of me. He sits up and pulls the blanket from the bottom of the bed.
This man is after my heart, and I am ready to just hand it over to him. “Take it, it’s yours.”
No woman is safe around this man, especially me.
Smiley
When we got on the airplane, I didn’t expect all of this to happen. She looked at me with such trust and fucking vulnerability. Then she fucking threw all her fears away and let me take care of her. She was so fucking beautiful when she came apart under my hands and mouth.
It was hard for her to let someone take control, but I feel so fucking honored that she trusted me enough to let me do that.
What Adeline doesn't fucking know is that I am gone for her. I would walk on fucking glass if she asked me to. I would do anything for her, just so I could see that smile on her face. I am gone for her and will never be the same after this. She sure as hell isn’t going anywhere. She is my woman; she had me at the first glance and I was a fucking goner. All I want to fucking do is take care of her and make her happy.
I sound like a pussy, but when it comes to her I don’t give a fuck. She is my Adeline. I smile to myself in the dark room with her lying on my chest.
Fuck, she has ruined me.
Adeline
We pull up outside a huge house, right on a private beach. We get out of the vehicle and I stare in awe at the beautiful ocean in front of me, stretching out as far as I can see.
“Go on, sweet girl.” I look at him, he nods, and I run off toward the ocean. This has been one of the things on my bucket list, and I am finally here. I take off my shoes, stepping onto the warm sand. I close my eyes, wiggling my toes. Then I open my eyes and walk the rest of the way to the ocean, the water moving up over my toes.
This is amazing. I bend down touching the water, feeling the warmth.
“Baby, want to put on your bathing suit and hop in?” Smiley yells.
I go back to the house, excited at the prospect of getting in the water. We walk up the huge wooden steps that reach down to the beach, open the glass door, and walk inside. The interior of the large house is painted white and has a contemporary feel that I love.
I watch Smiley’s ass as he walks into a bedroom. I follow him, smiling because this is my life right now.
He sets the suitcase on the floor, unzipping it for me. “Here, sweet girl.” He takes his swimsuit out, and I grab a two-piece. This will be the first time I have worn a bathing suit, and I’m already nervous at the idea of my body being exposed, even though he has seen me naked.
He shuts the bathroom door, and I strip out of my clothes and put on the bathing suit. It takes a minute or so to adjust the straps just right.
In the bedroom a huge mirror stretches from the ceiling to the floor. I walk over and look at myself. My eyes automatically go to the scars and imperfections on my body. The stretch marks, the loose skin from having Alisha, the cellulite.
Smiley pops into view and the sight of his body steals my breath. His abs, the beautiful tattoos, and his bulging muscles. Oh… My mouth dries up, leaving me completely speechless. It should be illegal for a man to look that good. God must have had a special hand in making Smiley.
He comes up behind me and rests his head on my shoulder, his arms going around my middle. “What has you thinking so hard, sweet girl?”
I smile at his nickname for me. I love it. “I was just looking at myself in the mirror.” I am not going to tell him I was picking myself apart.
“If I looked like you I would stare at myself in the mirror all day.” He kisses my cheek, and I laugh out loud because he is just unbelievable.
“Yeah, right.” I roll my eyes, still giggling.
“I wish you could fucking see yourself the way I do, baby,” he says, completely serious, looking at me in the mirror.
“I am trying, Smiley.” I can’t help that I don’t like certain parts of myself. I went from purposely trying to hate myself, because of the guilt that I felt for Alisha, to trying to accept myself.
“The first moment I saw you, I almost fell straight on my ass at the sight of you. You’re so goddamn beautiful.” His hand moves down my arm and between my breasts, where I have the huge knife scar. “All of these scars tell a story, baby.” He looks me dead in the eye. “It tells a story of how unbelievably strong you are. In my eyes you’re the most beautiful woman in the world, and nothing could change that. Nothing.”
He grins, and I know he is going to say something that completely changes the mood. “You could have one tooth, and I would love that tooth.”
I cover my face, laughing because of how ridiculous he is, but I love that about him. I turn around and kiss his cheek, still laughing.
“Now get your ass to the beach, woman.” He smacks my ass, and I give him the stink eye.
He winks, running his hand over my ass cheek. He finally manages to “catch” my hand and twine our fingers together. “I have a full day planned for your birthday tomorrow. A lady is coming to give you a massage, some toe and fingernail shit, and someone will do your hair and makeup before we go out to dinner tomorrow night.”
“Tomorrow is my birthday?” I whisper. Honestly, it’s like any other day to me. I've never celebrated my birthday. Last year I was in rehab.
“Forgot tomorrow was your birthday?” He holds the door open for me, and I follow him onto the porch.
I shrug. “It’s not a big deal, just any other day. They all kind of blend together.”
“It’s a big deal to me,” he says, leaving me speechless with those few words. We walk together into the warm water. He picks me up and I laugh, my legs around his waist. He brings me further into the water, his hands under my ass, holding me to him.
“This is the life.” I look around at the beach, the house, and Smiley.
“Yeah, it is.” He is staring at me as he says this. He is going to kill me, I repeat to myself for the hundredth time.
I lay my head on his shoulder. It really is the life.
The Next Morning
I wake up to kisses being pressed against my back. “Wake up, baby, the massage lady will be here any minute.” He brushes my hair off my back, exposing my neck.
I smile, getting an eyeful of Smiley, shirtless and smiling. I roll over, stretching my arms above my head, and I am hit with the cold. My breasts are exposed, and I try to resist the urge to cover myself up.
“Don’t hide them now, baby, I am well acquainted,” he says cockily and I laugh.
He gives me another demonstration of how well he can please me, and he isn’t lacking in that department, that is for certain. I actually orgasm twice.
“Smiley, last night I felt bad because you never got anything in return.”
He shakes his head. “Baby, don’t worry about that. I love taking care of you, and I never expect the same thing in return. That will happen whenever you want to, not because you’re expected to.”
He is literally just perfect. He hands me a bathing suit. “Put this on, baby, while I get the door.”
“Thank you, Smiley, you’re spoiling me.” I take the bathing suit.
He winks, climbing off the bed. “Good.” He slips on a shirt as he leaves the room.
Smiley
The massage lady is supposedly one of the best on the island. I want her to have a special birthday, because I know that she has never had one before. And I have a huge surprise for her later.
I open the door, and she steps inside. “Hello, I am Maria.” She looks around the living room where the equipment is already set up. A lot of the MC brothers come here and bring their women.
“I want to speak with you about something. My woman has some scars from her past, and I know she will be worried about your reaction, so I am giving you a heads-up.” I want to make sure she doesn’t make a sound, making Adeline insecure about her back.
“Thank you for the heads-up.” She smiles and walks into the living room.
Adeline walks downstairs in her bathing suit. and I can’t get over how much she is changing right in front of my fucking eyes. In the short amount of time since I met her, it has been fucking amazing. I whistle loudly and she laughs, her face turning red instantly.
“Have fun, baby. I will be upstairs in the office.” I kiss her cheek and leave her to it. She pulls back her shoulders, walking into the living room.
That’s my girl.
Adeline
In the living room, there is a massage table. “You must be Adeline?” The massage lady is wearing black pants and a white shirt, looking really professional.
“Yes, it’s nice to meet you…” I look at her name tag. “Maria.” She smiles widely and motions for me to climb on top of the table.
I really hope that she is okay with my back; that is one thing I am seriously nervous about. I lie on the table. “I am going to place this towel over your bottom, then you can take off your bathing suit.”
“This is my first massage, I am not sure how any of this works,” I confess to her.
“Not a problem, just close your eyes and relax.” I do as she asks while trying not to panic because I am sure the only thing she can see is my scars. She probably hates her job right about now.
She puts something warm on my back, and her hands touch my back. Breathe, Adeline.
She starts the massage, and I slowly allow myself to relax because I can’t change the way I look, and I might as well enjoy this.
An hour later, I am finally done with the massage, and I was worried over nothing. During the massage she talked to me like I was a friend, and it totally put me at ease.
“Thank you so much,” I say. I really want another massage soon, and I will have to look into it once I am home.
Smiley comes into the living room. He hands the massage lady some bills, and she walks out the door, waving.
“How was it, baby?”
“I loved it, thank you.” I hug his side. “I am going to run upstairs and put on some clothes before the nail lady shows up.”
He helps me off the table. I walk up the stairs and slip on a pair of shorts and a baggy shirt that is Smiley’s. I make it back downstairs just as the doorbell rings, and I decide to get it myself. Smiley is instantly at my side, even though there is just one woman standing there. His protective instincts are really strong. He is not the over-the-top smothering type; it’s just enough to make me feel unbelievably safe.
“Hi, you must be Adeline?”
We shake hands. “Yes, that’s me.”.
I lead her into the living room; she is pulling a huge suitcase behind her. She is looking the house over. It is pretty overwhelming the first time you see it, because it is huge.
She turns around, looking at Smiley. “How do you want her nails done today? Any preferences?”
Uhh, why is she asking him? I look at Smiley, kind of confused.
“Why don’t you ask her?” he tells her.
She laughs, throwing her hand out, like that is the most ridiculous thing she ever heard. “Come on now, how do you want her to be done?”
I am really confused now. Smiley’s face is dark with anger.
“What are you trying to say?” I ask her, my hand wrapped around Smiley’s. I really don’t like this woman and her attitude.
“A man of your stature and wealth is a controlling man, and they have a way they want things.” She gives me a “duh” look. I think this woman is not okay.
“You have five fucking seconds to get out of my house,” he tells her. Her face pales when she realizes how much she has messed up. She runs out of the house, dragging the suitcase with her. Smiley follows her out, slamming the door shut behind her.
I laugh at how wild that girl was acting. I understand that some people she has dealt with may not have been in the best of relationships, but it doesn’t give her the right to assume.
“Well, that was interesting,” I tell Smiley, and he laughs and shakes his head in disbelief. I plop down on the couch, laying my head back.
He leaves the room and I close my eyes, relaxing and enjoying the cool air. He comes back a minute or so later and sets some bottles of nail polish on the coffee table in front of me.
“Smiley, what are you doing?” If he is doing what I think he is, I am going to cry.
“Painting your toenails.” He puts my foot in his lap and opens a bottle of red polish. I watch as a huge man, covered in tattoos—the ex-president of the Grim Sinners MC—paints my toenails.
“Smiley, you’re trying to steal my heart, aren’t you?” I whisper, my heart feeling so full that it may just burst.
“Is it working?” he asks, looking up from painting for a second.
What do I say? The truth. “Yeah,” I whisper. He smiles so beautifully at me my stomach aches.
“Now I think that about does it, sweet girl.”
I bend forward and eye his work and, much to my surprise, he did an amazing job. “Wow, you did great.” He did a better job than I could, that’s for sure.
“I have painted my daughter’s toenails many times, and Tiffany’s.”
Okay, that didn’t help my heart problem. If anything, it made everything ache ten times more.
“The makeup and hair lady should be here any minute.”
I motion with my finger. “Come here.” I smile, and he comes over and braces his hands on either side of me on the couch. I lean forward, kissing him deeply.
“What was that for?” he asks when I pull away.
“Just because I wanted to kiss my man.” The look I get in return is pure joy and happiness.
I did that.
“Your man?”
I rub my finger over his cheekbone. “Mine,” I say softly, looking him dead in the eye. He is mine, my Smiley. “What is your real name, Smiley?” I ask.
His face pales. “You don’t need to know that.” He tries to shake it off.
“What is it?” I urge.
“Bernard,” he barely mumbles, and I cover my mouth so I don’t laugh. He doesn’t look like a Bernard.
His eyes narrow on me. “Are you laughing?”
“No,” I tell him, and I laugh again. “It’s a good, solid name, baby.”
He rolls his eyes and sits down on the couch beside me. “Yeah, yeah.”
I lean over, cuddling into his side. His fingers automatically start playing with the ends of my hair. The doorbell rings again.
He opens the door and she steps inside. “Hi, my name is Bailey. You must be the beautiful Adeline I was told all about.” We shake hands.
“Aww, thank you. It’s nice to meet you, Bailey.” I love her peppy and bubbly attitude.
“The bathroom is right through those doors.” Smiley motions to a door across from the living room. I guess he doesn’t want people in our room because that is our private area. Then I see the huge vanity in the bathroom, and I realize this room is equipped for this.
She opens her case and starts lining up items on the counter. I am sitting in a chair in front of the vanity. “Do you know what you’re doing tonight?” she asks, looking at me in the mirror.
“All I know is that he is taking me out for dinner for my birthday.”
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She smiles happily. “That sounds like a lot of fun. Oh, and happy birthday. How old are you?”
“I am forty today.”
Her mouth opens. “What? There is no way you’re forty. I thought you were thirty, max.” She is staring at me in complete awe, looking me over from head to toe, and I laugh out loud. When my daughter and I have gone to dinner, guys have hit on both of us, thinking we are sisters.
I take out my phone and show her a picture. “This is my daughter.”
“She could pass as your sister.”
I laugh. “Well, thank you very much.” She is such a sweet girl; she would be so good with one of the MC guys. “Do you travel and do makeup?” I ask her, coming up with ideas.
“Yeah, I do.”
Gotcha. I smile. “I will have to have you come out to Texas sometime and do our makeup.”
She smiles widely at me. “That would be amazing.”
I put my phone back in my pocket.
“Ready?” she asks me.
I nod and she spins me away from the mirror. Halfway through our session, there is a knock on the door, and someone hands in a red dress and a pair of black heels.
The stylist hangs the dress on the door. “You’re one lucky lady.”
“I know.”
An hour later, I am finally done. She doesn't allow me to look at myself but hands me the clothes, pushing me behind the curtain so I can get dressed. The dress fits me like a glove. I tried it on at the dress shop before we left on vacation, falling in love with it instantly.
“I am dressed—can I come out now?” I ask her, excited to see myself. I’ve never had my hair and makeup professionally done before.
“Yes!” she says excitedly.
I step around the corner, my eyes going to the full-length mirror. Wow. The dress fits perfectly, and my hair and makeup enhance all of the good stuff that I never realized I had.
“Oh wow, I love it.” I look at her. “Thank you so much.” I hug her and she hugs me back tightly. “You look beautiful,” she says. I attempt to let her go and she holds on to me. I feel her shoulders shaking slightly and, looking in the mirror, I see that she is crying.