by Starr, Jude
“What the hell happened, Iris?” she demanded, when we were out of earshot.
“We... we fucked in his office. It was good, very good.” I smiled at the memory. “But… afterwards, he didn’t want anything to do with me, treated me like shit.”
“Are you crazy? Tell me all about it!” Krystal's reaction didn't surprise me in the slightest. She loved sex and always wanted to hear every juicy detail. Except tonight, her timing really sucked.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Damien had never been so good and it was upsetting to think about him now. I had to let it go. Let Damien go. Let my body love this moment, without guilt. Calvin had wanted me; he had given me everything I could ever want from a man. I had to accept it had just been a fabulous fuck and enjoy the moment without over thinking it. “Where’s Zach?” I surveyed the room and couldn't see him. Had he left while I was busy?
“He had to go to the restroom,” Krystal grinned. “So tell me, I want all the details.”
I rolled my eyes. “Don't tell Zach.”
Solemnly, Krystal crossed her chest. “I promise, I won't.”
I thought for a minute or two, debating what to say. Zach and I shared something which was much more in my relationship realm. We had been working on this thing between us for weeks and I thought we were developing real feelings for one another I didn’t think it was just a fling. We had gotten to know a lot about each other. I know, it made me sound old school, but having sex, even really good sex, in an office didn’t represent who I truly was. I had strong moral values. Calvin hadn’t treated me badly, he just hadn’t reacted the way I’d expected him to and I was so far out of my comfort zone, I’d made myself feel like a whore. Damn, I was so confused. “It was so deep and real,” I finally admitted. “He would be a really great lover.”
Krystal lifted an eyebrow. “But?”
“Afterwards, he went all quiet and told me he wanted to talk to me on Monday. He gave me his business card and acted as if nothing had happened between us. I’m not a whore. I don't do this shit.”
“Yikes! That was shitty of him,” Krystal agreed, “but he did run after you and he still can't stop looking at you.”
I quelled the urge to turn around. “Where is he?”
“He's talking to Zach.”
What! Hell no! I turned around, panic rising in my chest. Scanning the room frantically, I couldn't see them. What if Calvin mentioned something about what we’d just done? Zach would never forgive me.
“On your right.” Krystal laughed when she pointed them out. I must have looked pretty ridiculous, craning my neck like some sort of crazy woman.
Calvin was handing Zach a drink, and his eyes met with mine when Zach walked away from him. We stared at one another for few seconds and I could have sworn I saw pain in his expression. He was trying to tell me something through his eyes. I might be pissed off, but I didn’t think it was a good idea to let things end this way or he might show up at work and embarrass me. I decided I needed to put my anger aside and talk to him.
Zach reached my side and gave me a beautiful, heartwarming smile. “Hey, sugar. Rich boy said you wanted a drink. Here it is.”
I drank the shot and hugged Zach while the warm liquor lingered in my throat. I figured two or three more of these, would actually sort out my night.
“I need to do something, okay? I’ll be right back.” I kissed his cheek and he let go of me. Without another glance at Calvin, I walked back to the office, knowing he would follow me. The door was unlocked, so I stepped inside and waited for him.
His tall figure slipped in through the doorway only a few seconds later.
“Now is your chance to talk,” I announced coldly.
He nodded, his expression serious. “I’m sorry you got mad. You have every right to be. The way I reacted – it was wrong. I know you deserve better than this, and after taking you here, it felt all wrong.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Are you trying to make me feel better or worse?”
He held up his hands. “Listen. Never in a million years, would I have thought I was going to see you here tonight, and you show up in that skirt with those freaking hot legs. I brought you in here to talk, but I lost control, okay?” He paused, waiting for me to say something but I remained silent. Calvin continued. “I think you’re beautiful, I’ve been looking at you, every single time I go in to your store to get my coffee. It became an excuse, for me to see you. I know, you don’t know me and I don’t know you, but I know you’re smart and I wanted to offer you a better job. Something where you would make more money.”
I frowned. “I don’t need your pity, Calvin.”
“It’s not pity. I worked hard for what I own now. Somebody once gave me a chance, and I wanted to give you a chance to lead a better life while you’re studying.”
“You saw me at the restaurant, and you thought I was good looking, so you decided to offer me a job?” I asked incredulously. Was he serious?
“I know it sounds… wrong, but yeah. Please think about it, and come and meet me at my office on Monday morning.” He chuckled quietly and offered me a smile. “Besides, you can’t deny that we have really good chemistry.” He winked.
I thought for a minute. I could definitely use more money, living in New York was costing me much more than I had expected. “Okay, I’ll think about Monday.” I sighed. “I’m sorry I over reacted.”
“It’s okay. You had every reason to be pissed.”
“I’m going to go now. My friends are starting to ask questions.” I walked past him, not wanting to touch him and feel that sexual tension again. I didn’t want Zach to suspect anything was going on and I was already flustered.
“Who is he?” Calvin asked. Obviously my kiss on Zachary’s cheek hadn’t gone unnoticed. For some unknown reason, knowing he’d been watching and had noticed, pleased me.
“Zach is my very good friend. We both live at the same residence near the University.” Honesty was the key. He had seen me with Zach earlier, he needed to understand that I wouldn’t give him up.
“I don’t like sharing,” he announced, and his voice was serious, not a hint of humour in his tone. Seriously? I’d only just met him. We barely knew one another.
“I’m not yours.” My tone matched his. I didn’t want to play any games, but I wasn’t going to promise exclusivity to a man I knew nothing about.
“Yet.” He smiled as he captured me in his arms and pulled me closer. We lost ourselves in our gazes. It could have been three seconds, or thirty seconds, I had no idea. His hands held me hostage and I stared at him, relishing the feel of his body against mine. He had kept most of his clothes on when we had sex, leaving me curious. His cologne, his sleek hair, the charm emanating from him was driving me wild. All the things he did to me on his desk were slowly coming back into my mind.
“Kiss me.”
Did I just say that out loud? Apparently, because Calvin clasped my face in his hands, frame it with his strength and his mouth landed on mine. He tasted of whiskey and I couldn’t get enough. Why was kissing him so powerful and exciting? He topped every man I had ever kissed before. The list wasn’t particularly long, but it didn’t matter, he kissed like a God. And everything else he had done left me flabbergasted. Everything I believed in had disappeared when I was with him. The good girl was gone and replaced by this free-spirited, naughty Iris. This man was making me crazy for him, and I knew absolutely nothing about him.
He caressed my body, his hand seeking bare skin, and I knew I had to stop this, or we would end up butt naked in his office again. Zach might be clueless now, but it wouldn’t last any longer if I let this happen again.
I pushed Calvin away. “I can’t do this again. My friends… Zach, he’s not stupid and I don’t want to do this to him.” Calvin didn’t need to know the depth of my feelings for Zach. It would only make everything even more awkward.
“I know, I get it.” He forced a smile. I stood on my tiptoes and gave him a last, chaste kiss. I watched him as
I went to the door, as if I was quietly saying a final goodbye. I had never been so confused. I’d gone from being in a stable relationship with a cheating bastard, to being torn between two men. Two gorgeous men, but I was attracted to them both for very different reasons.
“I’ll see you on Monday, okay?” Calvin said.
I nodded, without meeting his eyes. My heart was pounding; begging for more time with him, but my brain kept me grounded and forced my legs to walk me out of that office.
The bar was still incredibly crowded and everyone seemed to be having a great time. Mostly beautiful people with class and probably a truck load of cash. The skirt I had decided to wear to the party seemed inappropriate here, but I refused to let that small detail ruin my night. Krys pulled me onto the dance floor and we danced the night away. Zach joined us and kept us hydrated. My head and arms began to feel as if they weighed hundreds of pounds, a sure sign of the alcohol kicking in. As per the norm when I’ve been drinking, I had turned into ‘Cuddles’, the one who wanted to hug everyone in the room. So embarrassing. Thankfully, I kept it contained to Krys or Zach, and Calvin when he showed up intermittently to dance with us – or me, more precisely. I noticed all the other girls were watching him, smiling at him every chance they got, and I was surprised to find myself jealous. Was he going to be sleeping around, if we ever became a thing, or would he be devoted to me? I had no clue and it killed my enjoyment just thinking about it.
Calvin only danced with me, he only flirted with me, but it didn’t stop some brunette who touched his arms in a seductive way. Krys intervened and tried to bring my mood back to having fun. Calvin left us when Julia came over to let him know an important guest had arrived. I danced with Zach until we both were too tired to stand any longer. We sat on a couch for a little while, and I made sure that I had the perfect view of Calvin from my position. He was engaged in a serious conversation with a man, and he seemed very business-like. Krys joined us at the couch with a plate of shots and I knew these would definitely be my last. We drank the shots, one after another. I was very hot, the shots were strong and a wave of heat ran through my limbs. It was a sure sign that I had pushed my limits, and I knew I had to be careful. Making myself sick at this party would be the ultimate humiliation.
“I need some fresh air. I’ll be back in five minutes.” I went outside and stood by the front window. The night air cooled me down, but didn’t stop the dizziness that overwhelmed my head. I’d definitely had enough to drink.
Chapter 4
I started losing gaps of times around that moment of the night.
I could remember Zach laughing at me when he tried to help me put my jacket on. Then, Krys’ flirting with the taxi driver. I might have fallen on the stairs at the residence – and then nothing. Total black out, too much alcohol, so many things which could have gone wrong.
Waking up very early the following morning, the sun was barely up from what I could see from my window. I rubbed my eyes and my vision cleared. To say I was surprised to see Zach next to me was an understatement, but the fact that I was lying here completely naked freaked me out.
I sat up on the bed, my head pounding. We had finally done it, but I didn’t remember a single thing. How sad was that? We had waited so long before sharing this moment and I had absolutely no memory of the event.
I stretched to grab my phone from the nightstand and check the time, but the two condom wrappers I saw changed everything. Oh my god – we had done it twice. I had been with two different men, in less than a couple of hours and had managed to have sex three times in a row. What was happening to me? I kept asking myself that question as I was so confused by my behaviour.
The room was cold and I missed being under the warm sheets. Zach looked at peace; a small smile appeared on his face, as he was enjoying his dreams. Zach was everything I looked for in a man. He was the whole package. My brain was battling between someone who was so definitely my type and someone who wasn’t so.
I settled back down on the mattress and covered myself with the comforter. A few seconds later, Zach cupped my breast and covered my legs with his. A big bright smile forced itself onto my lips. It seemed so natural to be like this with him. I could get used to this.
“Iris, closer.” He surrounded me with his arms and pulled me into a warm embrace. Cuddling naked with him had a soothing effect on my headache. It slowly went away as his caresses became more demanding. “Sugar, I want to see your face.”
I probably had mascara all over my face; I didn’t think this was a good idea. It could transform our beautiful moment into the biggest turn off in history. I also had the memories of Calvin in my head and it hurt me. It made me a terrible person.
“You’re so beautiful.” He kissed me and it led us to making out. Humping like teenagers, I could feel his erection pressing against my thigh. It propelled me into the action. I wanted him now and I made sure he knew I was interested. Nothing could hold us back, we were ready – no clothes to take off. My hands danced across his body and slowly, the memory of what we had done during the night came back. The anxiety of the first time, when Zach was so nervous and couldn’t stop asking if I was okay. His love showed in every one of his words and actions. I only wished that it didn’t remain so blurry in my memory. I had to make this time count as the best of all three times.
“Make love to me again, Zach.” I said very softly, in between kisses.
“Last night or now, for that matter, sugar, will always be the best night of my life,” he declared, while I still processed everything that had happened.
His touches sent me to seventh heaven. His hands danced across my skin, over my hips, and breasts. I let myself go; I followed his desires, his movements. My thighs, abs and my sex were hurting in all different and new places, but I didn't care, he was too good to stop. We were both in synch, in complete harmony with one another. God, I loved this. I had heard that morning sex was the best – well, I could now say that it was pretty damn good. My body, still tired and stiff, slowly warmed up. My senses awoke under the soft contact of Zach’s body against mine. His biceps flexed as he hovered above me. Our eyes met and locked when Zach pushed into me. His movement were slow and seductive.
“Why did we wait so long?” I asked aloud, not really expecting an answer.
“We were idiots, Iris. But now, I don’t think I’ll be able to spend a day without you.” He smirked, and I knew he was right.
He accelerated his movements, and I moaned at full volume, with all the passion I had in me. I couldn’t hold back, there was no way to control my reaction to him.
Thrust after thrust, he grew stronger, more determined. Sweat rolled down his back as the air in the room warmed up. My legs tightened around him, drawing him closer to me. It seemed impossible to control my desire. Every muscle in my lower body tightened, and I knew what was coming. The euphoria was coming. The hyper sensitivity and his touch, mixed with his cologne, sent me directly into a climax. I was exhausted, sated and secretly, completely confused by my love life. Zach groaned and breathed heavily against the hollow of my neck. We stayed positioned for a moment, catching our breath and enjoying what he had just done, yet again.
I mentally slapped myself. I hadn’t been quiet and I expected everyone on the floor knew what we were (finally) doing. Hopefully I hadn’t been too loud the first two times, or else facing every other resident would be embarrassing this morning.
Calvin had been more rough and dominant, while Zach’s only concern was my well being and there was a softness in everything he did to me. I couldn’t believe that I was here having sex with Zach, and comparing him to Calvin. They were so different, there was no point in comparing them.
Them. I had never been this type of girl. It went beyond my values. I tried not thinking about it but I couldn’t ignore my actions.
After a few minutes of rest, Zach rolled onto his side and held me close. His caresses tickled when his fingers danced and swirled across my ribs and hips. A trail of wet kisses fo
llowed and I simply closed my eyes, loving every second of being in his arms. A moment like this wouldn't last forever and no matter how much I hated myself right now, it made me feel good.
Both tired by our morning workout, we went back to sleep in each other’s arms. Zach had reached perfection in my eyes, everything I had ever wished for, and he had given it to me. My feelings for him had taken another step closer to me having to admit to being unconditionally in love with him.
He left early in the afternoon to go to his own room. His lips on my lips with a lingering kiss on my chin and forehead woke me enough to say goodbye.
All three of us had finals to face on Monday and the rest of the weekend was uneventful. I studied for my last exam, most of the time forcing myself not to think of the mess I was in from sleeping with two different men. My boss had agreed to let me take the weekend off. After some intense studying, my head was full with everything I needed to remember.
Monday morning came, and when I checked my email, I had an email from Zach. The subject line was empty, which didn't seem right. I clicked to open it and all I could see was a link, which made me nervous. Zach was usually much more talkative in his emails. My heart started beating faster as I double clicked on the link. What I saw when the new screen opened, drained all the blood from my face. It was a newspaper article about the grand opening of The Whiskey Lounge with a picture of me kissing Calvin outside the bar. I didn't even remember it happening, but we did appear to be a couple. I hated that I loved the picture. I hated that it gave me butterflies when all it caused me was to hurt my friend.
I stared at the picture for a very long time. My hands were flat on Calvin’s chest, his hands sitting on my waist owing me. My lips were on his and I stood on the tips of my toes. It looked like a picture from a fashion magazine or a photo taken on a movie set, but I knew it was real, not faked. Even I couldn't deny that there was something between Calvin and I in the picture, but it sucked that Zach had to be the one who revealed it to me. He should have never seen that picture. If I could at least remember the picture being taken. I was so furious at myself and at the amount of alcohol I had drunk. What an idiot!