by M. K. Eidem
"My manno would want you to eat." Tora's hesitant voice had her eyes flying open.
"I'm suddenly not hungry.” She said gesturing to his platter. “Go ahead and eat yours."
Tora grimaced slightly and pushed his platter away too. "While it is true, I enjoy seasoned meat, Lord Reeve's cook has not yet discovered the proper amounts to use."
"That bad, huh." Kim found her humor returning.
"Yes."
"And the other things?" She gestured to the other items on his platter.
"Again, nearly inedible."
"Yet you would have let me eat it.''
"Yes," Tora was forced to admit and then tried to justify it. "To you it may taste fine."
"Because I'm strange to you."
"Yes." Tora said, nodding.
"Maybe Wray is right and it’s not me that's strange but you."
"Doubtful." Tora said, crossing his arms across his chest and leaned back in his chair.
"Why do you say that?"
"Because I am Tornian." He said as if that explained everything.
"So?"
"So?" Tora's eyebrows dived down. "What do you mean... so?"
"Just what I said. What makes you think, that being Tornian makes you so damn special? So special that it can’t mean that you aren't the ones that are strange? On my world, you would definitely be strange. We don't have nearly seven-foot warriors who treat females as if they are things. On my world, females aren't hidden away. We are able to go where we want, when we want and talk to whomever we want. Our lives don't revolve around our ability to produce offspring either and all females are equally important." Kim found her voice rising as she did. "So maybe it is your society that is strange, Tora! Strange and wrong."
Tora found himself shocked, not only by her words, but also by her utter belief in them. What she was saying wasn't possible. There wasn't a world like the one she described in all the known universes. True, not all species kept their females as secluded as Tornians did, but they all protected their females. They were never allowed to just go wherever they wanted. Whenever they wanted. They were too important to their survival.
"From what world do you claim to come from?" He demanded.
"I don't claim anything.” Kim replied angrily. “I come from a planet called Earth.”
“I’ve never heard of it.”
“What?” Kim asked sarcastically. “Someone as great and important as you. A Tornian, hasn’t heard of Earth?”
“I know every planet in the known universes.” Tora declared.
“Really… so what does that tell you, Tora?” Kim asked.
Tora was silent for several seconds before his eyebrows shot up. “That isn’t possible.”
“Don’t let it bother you.” Kim said realizing she was being unreasonable. “Wray had never heard of it before either. Apparently only the Ganglians have.”
“The Ganglians…” Tora growled, his dislike for them easily heard.
“Yes, they kidnapped me from Earth. Wray found me on one of their ships after the Searcher intercepted them.” She watched Tora pale as he realized what that had meant for her and her attitude towards him began to soften.
“They…” Tora found he had to clear his throat.
“Yes." Kim’s voice caught, but she forced herself to continue. "They abused me to the point that I would have died if Wray hadn’t found me when he did."
“He killed them?” Tora asked.
“Yes.”
“Good! Ganglians are scum. They will abuse any female they find. The universe would be a better place without them.
“You won't get an argument on that from me, but they aren’t the only ones who abuse females.”
“What do you mean?”
“Two Tornian males attacked me on Pontus." Kim told him and watched the disbelief cross his face. "They would have abused me if Wray hadn’t stopped them. All because I’m not Tornian.”
“That’s not possible! Only Warriors travel with the Emperor and he only chooses the fittest and most worthy to serve him. They would never abuse a female. My manno wouldn’t stand for it.”
“And he didn’t. That is why they are no longer members of his guard.”
“He dismissed them instead of ending them?” Tora couldn’t hide his shock.
“He couldn’t kill them because your law states they committed no crime.”
“Impossible! Our law clearly states that no male may harm or abuse a female. If he does his life is ended.”
“Only if he abuses a Tornian female, Tora. That’s what your Law says. All other females are at risk of abuse. Females like me.”
“That was not the true intentions of the Law.”
“That doesn’t matter. What matters is what it does say and because of that Wray couldn’t kill Fala or Gyula.”
“Warriors Fala and Gyula? It was them?”
“Yes."
“But they were trained here. On Vesta. By Lord Reeve.”
“Yes.”
Tora's eyes widened in shock. He had heard none of this. Fala and Gyula were held in the highest regard on Vesta. They were offered as examples to young males hoping to become Warriors as two of the finest ever produced on Vesta. For them to return in disgrace....
"You know them." Kim watched the emotions crossing Tora's face.
"Of them." Tora grudgingly admitted.
"I see."
"I find it hard to believe they would do such a thing."
"Believe it." Kim said and rose to look out the window wrapping her arms around her middle as she stared out into the night. It seemed to be storming in the mountains if those flashes of light meant lightening. "They even justified themselves by saying that since they could smell Ganglian on me that I must be willing to Join with any male. It didn't matter to them that I was forced. It didn’t matter that I'd been with Wray for nearly a week. All that mattered to them was that I wasn't Tornian and Wray wasn't near."
"My manno left you unprotected?" Wray couldn’t believe it.
"Wray had climbed a cliff so he could contact Veron. He was gone, maybe fifteen minutes when they arrived… searching for us." She turned back to look at him.
"They knew you were with the Emperor and they still attacked you?"
"Yes."
Tora pondered what she said. Every warrior knew that any female traveling with the Emperor is under his protection, Tornian or not. What Fala and Gyula had done was unforgivable.
"My manno should have killed them anyway."
"My thoughts exactly.” Kim agreed. “But as the Emperor, Wray, of all people, has to uphold the Law. Right or wrong. Whether he agrees with it or not and according to your law, they had committed no crime. It's the only reason they are alive."
"He still should have killed them for the dishonor they brought to all Tornian males."
"An Emperor can't think like that, Tora. He doesn’t have the luxury of doing whatever he wants. His decisions affect millions. You need to understand that because some day you will be Emperor and what you want to do isn’t always going to be what you have to do."
Tora rose from his chair to stare at her in disbelief. She, a female, was lecturing him on what would one day be his responsibilities. Treating him as if he were a young male? Females rarely even talked to a male. They never lectured one and she thought she wasn't strange.
"What now?" Kim asked, exasperated.
"You feel you are in the position to lecture me?"
"Well, apparently someone needs to. Everyone else just caters to you instead of telling you the hard, cold truth."
"I..." Tora was tired of this female surprising him, of her causing him to question things he had never questioned before. Like a Tornian Warrior abusing a female. "You are correct, but you are a female. Why are you even concerned with such things?"
"Why wouldn't I be?" Kim tipped her head questioningly to the side. "I'm going to have to live in this world now. Why wouldn't I be concerned?"
"Females don't concern th
emselves..."
"Tornian females!" Kim interrupted him. "Never confuse me with one of them, Tora. I know I can be a bitch, but I've never been like them. I Join with a male because I love him. Not because of the things he gives me. There's a word for women like that on Earth and I'm not one of them."
"You will never be allowed to Join with any other male, not even if you do love him.” Tora fired back, stressing the ancient word. “You are now the Empress. Your responsibility lies with the Emperor."
"Of course it does! That's who I was talking about. Wray. He is the only male I want to Join with."
"Your offspring will never replace me." Tora informed her, his eyes boring into hers.
"Of course they won't." Kim frowned at him. "Why would you think they would? You are Wray’s first male.”
"When a female Joins with the Emperor she expects her offspring to one day rule the Tornian Empire."
"Look, Tora,” Kim said running a tired hand through her hair. “I’m not even sure your manno and I can have offspring together and even if we can, that doesn't mean they would replace you."
“If you can’t produce offspring why would my manno choose to Join with you?”
“Because I love her.” Wray answered, striding back into the room.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Kim’s head swung towards the sound of Wray’s voice, her eyes searching. Finding him, the tension she hadn't realized had been building since he'd left, disappeared.
“You're back.” She whispered, his words causing her lips to tremble with emotion.
“Of course I am.” He assured her, moving directly to her, wrapping her in the safety of his arms. “I told you I would be.”
“I know.” She said as she buried her face in his chest, her arms encircling his waist. “I just missed you."
”You are well?” He asked, his eyes shooting to Tora. Had Tora harmed her?
“I’m fine.” She said, propping her chin up on his chest to look up at him. “Tora was the perfect gentleman. We were just talking.”
“About what?” Wray asked.
“About you. Me. What happens now. Tora is concerned that if we are able to produce offspring that you would replace him as your first male.”
“What?” Wray's eyes flew to Tora in disbelief, but he could see that Kim spoke true by the look in Tora's eyes.
“I told him that was ridiculous, but I think he needs to hear it from you.” Kim said softly.
“Tora, you will always be my first male and one day Emperor. Why would you think such a thing?” Wray asked, confused.
Silence was Tora's only response.
“I think it has something to do with what happened with Van.” Kim said quietly.
“What?” Wray looked down at her in shock. “Why would that have anything to do with Tora thinking I would replace him as my first male?”
“Because it is my fault Van died." Tora answered. "I failed him... and you.”
“You did no such thing!” Wray immediately denied.
“He was only there because of me. He was my responsibility. Mine! A fit and worthy brother would never have allowed him to be harmed… never have allowed him to be left behind… to die.”
Wray slowly released Kim and went to Tora, gripping one of his shoulders with a firm hand so he couldn’t turn away from him. "The blame has always been mine, Tora. Not yours." He could tell Tora didn’t believe him and didn’t know how to convince him.
“Wray told me that the warriors who were with you, ignored your protests.” Kim said softly, moving to Wray's side.
“I could have ordered them to leave me.” Tora told them.
"They never would have followed that order Tora.” Wray informed him, squeezing his shoulder. “You are my first male. Their future Emperor. Your survival is always the priority. It has been that way since the dawn of the Empire.”
“Then I should have gone back for him.” Tora argued back angrily, his voice breaking.
"Then you both would have been lost." Kim said quietly.
"I don't care!" Tora lashed out at her, ripping away from his manno’s grip. "At least it would have been an honorable death and I wouldn't have to live with this shame."
Suddenly Kim understood... it was guilt... Tora was filled with guilt over what had happened.
What he had done.
What he hadn't done.
Kim understood perfectly.
"Tora..." Wray began only to have Kim cut him off.
"Are you really that selfish, Tora?" Kim demanded, stepping in front of Wray. "Is it really all about you?"
"How dare you!" Tora took a threatening step towards her, expecting her to back away, to hide behind his manno. All females fled before an angry male instead she stood her ground sticking her small chin out.
"I dare because it is the truth." Kim fired back. "You were a young male, caught up in circumstances outside of your control and you have to live with the decisions others made. You can stand there and rage because you don't like it but... too bad, so sad... that's life and it isn't always fair." Kim paused and tipped her head slightly to the side. "You know, you weren't the only one that lost Van... Wray did too, and he was his manno. Did you ever once stop to think about what it did to him? What it would have done to him if he had lost both of you."
"He would have taken another Empress and replaced us. Just as he is doing now!" Tora told her.
"You know, Tora," Kim leaned towards him. "You are an asshole! I wanted to like you because you are Wray's offspring, but I don't think I'm going to. I've never had offspring, but even I know that they aren't 'replaceable'. Each one is special in his or her own way. Did you ever think about the pain that it caused your manno to lose Van? Did you?" she demanded and saw his eyes widen. "I've seen the pain in Wray's eyes when he talks about losing Van, about how he nearly lost you. It was as strong and sharp as the day it happened. It still haunts him that he wasn’t there to protect both of you."
"Kim is correct, Tora." Wray said quietly, his eyes boring into Tora's. "The failure has always been mine. The shame. Never yours."
Tora stared at his manno and for the first time he saw his pain. They had never talked about Van and Tora had thought it was because his manno blamed him. Now he saw it was because he blamed himself.
"I understand what it's like to lose a sibling, Tora." Kim said softly and Tora pulled his eyes away from his manno to Kim and saw in her eyes all the pain he felt. "To feel like it's your fault... I lost my older sister, Jen, not long ago. We had a fight. It was my fault and then she was gone. I never got the opportunity to take back the hurtful words I said. Never got to tell her how much I loved her. The only thing I can do now is to try and honor her memory by not making those mistakes again.” Kim’s voice broke and she felt Wray's gentle hand on her arm, silently giving her his support.
“You can't go back, Tora," she forced herself to go on. "No matter how much you want too. You can't change what happened in that river. You can only go forward as Van would have wanted you to and live the best life you can. You dishonor him by questioning the sacrifice he made. He gave his life for his future Emperor... for his brother. Only the truest and fittest of warriors can do that. Honor him, Tora, because if the situation were reversed, wouldn't that be what you would want him to do."
∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞
Both males were speechless after Kim's impassioned speech, but for different reasons.
Wray silently thanked the Goddess for bringing this amazing female into his life, for she understood him as no one else did. No one understood that he still grieved for Van, that it still troubled him. Males weren't supposed to grieve for those they lost… remember them… yes... but grieve... that was for females... not that he had ever seen one do so.
He would like to believe Adana would have grieved for Van but he couldn't be sure. Once she had turned Van over to him, she had taken no further interest in him. But Van had wormed his way into Wray's heart with the little pranks he had liked to play on Wra
y's Warriors, especially Veron. He would always wait until just before the Warrior would enter Wray's command center. He still remembered the time Veron reached into his pocket and pulled out a baby Kele. Veron had acted as if he knew it was there all along, but Wray had known better.
Tora was silent because... well, he was stunned. This female... she seemed to understand loss and pain. How was that possible? She was female. They were never harmed. Never had to sacrifice. If a male somehow failed them, they just chose another to replace him. Yet Kim had stood by his manno, even after his own warriors had attacked her.
She understood his pain, even after the Ganglians had... when he had barely shown her the respect she deserved. He felt his shame grow and it had nothing to do with Van.
Wray watched the emotions racing across Tora's face and understood every one of them. Tora had never known a female could be caring or understanding. Wray hadn't either, not until Kim.
She was showing all of them that their world could be different. Should be different. It was going to take some time, but he knew that together they could overcome anything.
Wray pulled Kim close, wrapping her in his arms. He has never been filled with so much pride before. This female of his... she was amazing. She loved him, faults and all. She cared about his offspring.
Wray had known Tora felt guilty over Van's death, but he never knew the extent of it. Had never known how much Tora blamed himself. He was only twelve years old at the time. The blame was never his. Kim had made him see that, and they were both better for it.
But it had cost her, he could see it... it had made her remember the things she couldn't change, the things that happened with her sister. He needed to ease her pain now, just as she had done his.
"Come, my Kim. You need to rest." Wray told her.
"She needs to eat first." Tora informed him quietly, his eyes still on Kim.
"What?" Wray looked to the platters and saw they were still full. "You were supposed to eat while I was gone." He turned concerned eyes to Kim. "Why didn't you eat, my Kim?"