by John Scalzi
Q: It’s still here, then?
Scalzi: Yes. Wil put it up for a while, but the suburbs really aren’t the place of a unicorn pegasus kitten, you know? Dogs make it nervous and with that horn it’s only a matter of time before it came home with Fido impaled on its head, and then there would have to be apologies, and explanations, and animal control officers coming around. Also, unicorn pegasus kittens eat a lot and poop a lot, and contrary to expectation, they don’t poop sparkly rainbows. They just poop poop.
Q: If it’s not with Wil, where is it now?
Scalzi: As it happens, the Columbus Zoo here in Ohio happened to have another unicorn pegasus kitten—apparently they knew a guy, too – and was interested in acquiring ours in order to have a breeding pair. So they paid for shipping and off it went, and from what they tell me it’s quite happy with its new mate. They also say that when the wind is right, you can hear their mating calls in Cleveland.
Q: I’m not sure I needed to know that.
Scalzi: Oh, I’m quite sure you did, my friend.