by Erica Lee
Toasts and dinner started right after the introductions. As soon as the guests had been served, Jeremiah’s mom brought us each a plate filled with barbeque chicken, mashed potatoes, and green beans. I watched as Jenny brought the barbeque chicken to her mouth and then closed her eyes as she slowly ran her tongue along her bottom lip. I found my mind wandering to all of the other things she could do with that tongue… things such as licking ice cream or catching snowflakes of course.
Jenny must have caught me staring because she raised an eyebrow at me. “What? Do I have something on my face?”
I smiled and shook my head at her. “Nope. You’re just the only girl I know who can somehow make barbeque chicken seductive.”
She flashed me a cocky grin. “Maybe I just like driving you a little bit crazy.” Before I could respond she reached out and touched one finger to my chin dimple. “But don’t go getting all hot and bothered. I’m still not going home with you tonight.”
I placed my hand on my chest in mock offense. “Of course not. What kind of girl do you think I am?”
“The kind that owns a High School Musical box set but somehow still convinces girls to go to bed with her?”
I crossed my arms in protest. “Hey now. You love my High School Musical box set. You were all over me and that box set.”
Jenny shook her head at me and went back to teasing me with the barbeque chicken. We both finished our food quickly so we could focus on our plan for the night. As the servers were clearing the tables, we announced the father/daughter and mother/son dances.
As Jeremiah and his mom were dancing, Jenny turned to me with a serious look on her face. “Ok boss. What’s the plan?”
I stroked my chin and looked up toward the ceiling. “We need to get as many people onto the dance floor as possible once this dance is over and then keep them out there. So we need to get the alcohol flowing and the feet moving.”
“You are so corny. But I got your back. You pick out the song. I’m going to grab start grabbing bottles of beer to hand to people as they come onto the dance floor.” With that, Jenny was moving across the room and grabbing as many beers as she could.
I scrolled through the music on the ipod and stopped at “Chicken Fried” by Zac Brown Band. I mentally patted myself on the back for making such a good selection, then started the song right as the clapping from the mother/son dance was dying down.
I grabbed the microphone. “Alright everyone. It’s time to get up on the dance floor. I don’t care if you grab your brother, mother, or significant other, just make sure you also grab a beer.”
I watched Jenny roll her eyes at me while she handed out beers then went to grab more. Once she handed them out to all the guests who would accept, she brought one over to me and we clinked our bottles together. Jenny smiled and winked as her bottle tapped mine and I felt my stomach go into knots again. I grabbed the microphone and took it around the dance floor so everyone could take turns singing the chorus. Of course everyone knew the song because, well, small town Pennsylvania.
After the song ended, I switched to “Cotton Eye Joe.”
“Alright,” I announced, “Now that the liquid courage is flowing, it’s time to really get those feet moving.”
I grabbed Jenny’s hand and dragged her out onto the dance floor. I started going through the moves and realized Jenny wasn’t dancing with me.
I leaned close so she could hear me. “Not a fan?”
“I actually don’t know this dance,” Jenny admitted.
“What?!” I practically shouted. “This is my favorite line dance.”
“You’re a secret redneck, aren’t you?” Jenny joked.
I took Jenny’s hand in mine. “Oh honey. It’s no secret. You don’t grow up in these here parts of Pennsylvania and walk away without a little redneck in you. Now let me put a little bit of this redneck inside of you.”
Jenny’s mouth quirked into a half smile due to my accidental sexual innuendo, but she quickly started mimicking my dance moves. As we danced together and stumbled over our feet, she threw her head back in laughter and I thought about how that might be my favorite sight in the whole world.
As the night dragged on, I continued shuffling through the songs that worked for each particular moment in the evening. About two hours into dancing, Jeremiah walked up to me and threw his arm around me like we were old friends.
“Rory my girl,” he shouted much louder than was needed for how close we were standing to each other. “I can’t thank you enough for doing this for me. You and your girl are awesome. I love you guys.”
I decided not to correct him about the fact that Jenny wasn’t my girl and just nodded my head.
Jeremiah pointed to Samantha and leaned closer to me like he was going to whisper, only his words came out at his normal speaking volume.
“You see that beautiful girl over there? Guess what? She’s pregnant with my child.”
I tried my best to act surprised. I slapped Jeremiah on the back as I spoke. “That’s awesome man!! Congrats!”
Jeremiah looked surprised at my response. “Thanks. Do you really think it’s awesome?”
“Of course I do. You’re going to be a dad. Aren’t you excited?”
Jeremiah thought about it for a second. “Of course I am. I’ve always wanted to be a dad. But you’re actually the only person who knows who has said it was awesome. Everyone else immediately pressured me to marry her and started asking us about money.”
He paused and his face turned white. “Wait a second. You don’t think I made a mistake marrying her, do you? Did I marry her just because people told me to?”
Just then, Samantha looked over at both of us from the dance floor. She did some move that looked like a crazy combination of the shopping cart and the sprinkler, only it didn’t really resemble either of them too closely. When I looked at Jeremiah, he was staring at her like she was the greatest thing he had ever seen.
I put my hand on his shoulder. “Trust me. You didn’t marry her just because people told you to. Sure, maybe you married her earlier than you originally planned, but you were always going to marry her. I mean look at you. Your wife is over there butchering the two oldest dance moves in the book and you are staring at her like she is a dancer on broadway. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.”
A huge smile spread across Jeremiah’s face. “You’re right. I love her more than anything else in this world and I already adore that baby too.” He paused and then added, “She looks at you the same way, you know.”
I gave Jeremiah a questioning look. “Who looks at me what way?”
“John’s cousin over there.” Just as he said it, Jenny turned and smiled at us. “You should see the way she stares at you when she doesn’t think you’re looking. She loves you.”
Jeremiah was clearly drunk. He was talking nonsense now.
“Sorry to disappoint you buddy, but that’s not love. We’re not even together.”
A shocked look came onto Jeremiah’s face. “What?! No. You have to be together. You guys are in love and someday you will get married just like Samantha and I. And OH MY. You guys will make the most beautiful babies.”
I reached across Jeremiah and grabbed the beer out of his hand. “Alright man. I think you’ve had enough. You can thank me tomorrow.”
Jeremiah walked away and I looked over at Jenny who was already staring back at me. Jeremiah’s words rang inside my head. Was there any chance he was right? No. Of course not. He was drunk. But why did that fact cause disappointment to course through me?
Chapter 5
I looked across the dinner table and noticed very loving eyes looking back at me. Those eyes said it all. She had fallen for me. How had I let this happen?
Actually, I knew exactly how it had happened. After Jeremiah and Sara’s wedding weekend, I immediately immersed myself back into the online dating scene. Something about that weekend had rocked me and I wanted to prove to myself that I was still the same old female slaying
Rory. Within a week, I was messaging back and forth with Cara Seavers. In my hurry to date again, I didn’t put my expectations out there from the beginning. After I realized that Cara was ending every text to me with heart emojis just two weeks after we started dating, I knew I had to be honest with her. I tried to tell her that this was just a fling and nothing serious, but I had trouble getting it through to her.
I should have cut it off there, but for some reason I felt the need to let it go on like this for another month and a half. Which brought me to the point I was at now where I had a lump the size of Texas in my throat while I stared across a table at a girl who was making love eyes at me. Cara wasn’t even my usual type. She was barely 5’2” and had a short blonde bob with bangs that hung in front of her eyes. Don’t get me wrong. She was a very pretty girl. Just not the kind of pretty girl that I happen to be attracted to.
I put my hand on top of hers and took a deep breath. “Listen Cara. You’re an amazing girl and you’re going to make someone really happy someday. I just have to be honest with you. You and I aren’t looking for the same thing. I might not have articulated this well enough from the beginning, and I’m really sorry if that’s the case, but I’m just not built for long term relationships. It’s seriously not anything about you. It’s all me.”
I cringed as the words left my mouth. I had always vowed that I would never give the “it’s not you, it’s me” speech. Everyone knows that whenever someone says that, it totally has everything to do with the “You” they are talking to. Except in my case. I meant it.
I watched as Cara stared down at the table and prayed that those weren’t tears that were forming at the corners of her eyes. As soon as my silent prayer was over, I saw one of those probable tears land on the counter. Shit. I had really done it this time.
“Please don’t cry Cara,” I begged. “I’m seriously not worth it. I spend way too much time working and most of my other time just doing nerdy things on my computer or watching some movie that was made for kids half my age.”
Cara looked up at me and tried her best to put on a happy face, but the red rims around her eyes told another story.
She wiped her eyes on her shirt sleeve before starting to talk. “You don’t have to apologize Rory. It’s not your fault that you don’t feel the same way. We can’t control our feelings. Just like I couldn’t control the fact that I was falling in love with you.”
Falling in love? The words hit me like a ton of bricks and I sat there, unmoving, having no idea what to say.
Luckily, Cara found the words for me. “I’m going to go now. I’ll just walk home. It’s not far from here.”
I still just sat there as Cara stood up and began walking toward the door. As she walked, her head slumped down and her shoulders rocked up and down. Great. She was crying again and it was all my fault.
I finally stood up and ran toward her, catching up right before she reached the door.
“Cara. Wait,” I yelled as I grabbed ahold of her arm, not caring about the scene I was currently making in the restaurant. When she turned around, the tears were falling freely from her eyes and it took everything in me not to start crying myself. “Please take care of yourself, ok? And be safe on your walk home. And please be happy. Seriously Cara. Please do everything you can to be happy. You deserve it.”
Cara nodded slightly, then headed out the door. I did the walk of shame back to our table and quickly paid the bill.
Once I was in my car, my own tears started to fall. I hated hurting people. I don’t think I had ever made someone else cry in my entire life and it was a terrible feeling. I could barely catch my breath and honestly thought I might hyperventilate. It’s not like I didn’t deserve it.
Before I could think it through, I was dialing Jenny’s number. She picked up after just a few rings.
“Hey there pretty girl,” she said cheerfully. “How is your Friday night going? Ryan and I decided to stay in and have a game night. We’re both beat from work this week.”
When I didn’t say anything, Jenny spoke again. “Rory are you there? If you are, I can’t hear anything that you’re saying.”
“Yeah. Sorry. I’m here,” I just barely squeaked out.
A panic came over Jenny’s voice. “Rory. What happened? Are you ok? Are you hurt? Did you have an accident?”
The worry in her voice strangely cheered me up a little and I was finally able to get a few more words out. “No. I’m fine Jenny. Sorry to worry you. I just had a really bad night.”
“What’s up girly? Talk to me.”
I shook my head, even though I knew she couldn’t actually see me. “That’s the thing. I can’t. This falls under the category of things we shouldn’t talk about.”
Jenny sighed into the phone. “I don’t care about the stupid rule. You need me right now so I’m going to be here for you. Tell me what happened.”
I let the whole story spill out from our chats online to the awful dinner I had just endured, ending with her admitting that she was falling in love with me. I started to cry again as I told the story.
“I broke her heart Jenny. I’ve never done that to a girl before. I said I never would. I’m a terrible person. God, I’m so awful.”
“You don’t really believe this is the first time you broke a girl’s heart, do you?” Jenny asked.
“Well, yeah. All of my flings end really cordially. Heck, I’m even friends with some of those girls still.”
Jenny let out a sympathetic laugh. “Rory, you’re a certified ten with loads of money who treats girls like royalty. You can’t honestly believe it’s not heartbreaking when you end things.”
I glared into the phone. “Is this supposed to be helpful? Because right now you’re just making me feel worse.”
“That’s not what I’m trying to do,” Jenny explained. “I’m just saying, you’re an amazing person Rory. You’re caring, funny, and insanely generous. Not to mention, you are pretty much the most beautiful human being on this planet both inside and out. You’re going to break some hearts whether you mean to or not. That doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It just means that people realize how great you are and how lucky they would be to have you in their lives.”
Jenny’s words started to make me feel a little better. I couldn’t say that I believed them at that moment, but it still felt good to hear her say it.
“Thanks Jenny,” I said sincerely. “I just don’t know how I’m supposed to go back to my apartment and sit there over the next few weeks being reminded of this girl who is now hurting really badly thanks to me.”
“Ok. A few things,” Jenny lectured. “First of all, you sound like you’re the one who got dumped. Also, you are giving yourself way too much credit acting like this girl is going to sit around crying for weeks. I shouldn’t have said all those nice things about you and let them go to your head. Let’s be honest - you’re not that great.”
I rolled my eyes and tried to think of a good comeback, but Jenny wasn’t done. “I also have an idea. You sound like you need to get away. You’ve been telling me lately that you really need to plan the trip to see your dad. Just do it. Cancel meetings and come sometime this week. The bonus is that your favorite person in the world lives in LA and if you come now, we can do some early birthday celebrations.”
I heard a muffled voice in the background, then Jenny added, “You should ask Todd if he wants to come with you. I feel like the four of us could get into some trouble together.”
I considered everything she was saying. My dad was agreeable to seeing me anytime when I was the one traveling to him and Todd was a high school math teacher so he wouldn’t be starting work again for a few weeks. Plus, it would be awesome if Jenny and I could celebrate our 25th birthdays together. My birthday was August 27 and hers was just a few days later on September 3rd.
“I’m in as long as I’m home by the 27th. I always spend my birthday with my mom. Let me just talk to my dad and Todd and I’ll get back to you.”
I quic
kly called my dad and Todd and before I knew it all of the plans were made and the plane tickets had been bought.
Just three days after my mental breakdown, Todd and I were boarding a plane. The plan was to stay at my dad’s house for the next week but to spend as much time as possible with Jenny as well. Yes, I was flying to Los Angeles to spend time with the girl who had inadvertently started this whole chain of events, but whatever.
As we waited for the plane to take off, Todd turned to me. “Ok, let’s make a little deal. I won’t embarrass you in front of Jenny if you don’t embarrass me in front of Ryan.”
I threw my head back in laughter, then stuck out my hand. “Deal. I won’t tell your wannabe lover boy that you have been stalking him on social media ever since I told you Jenny was moving in with him.”
Todd stuck his tongue out at me. “And I won’t tell Jenny that you are secretly in love with her.”
I gave him a playful punch in the arm. “Even though that’s not true anyway, I still appreciate it.”
After picking up our baggage and the keys to our rental car, I stepped outside and took a deep breath. “This weather is fantastic. I love California. Seriously, have I mentioned just how much I love LA?”
Todd smiled over at me. “Just about every single time you come to visit. But I must say, I’m very happy that my first trip here is with a California groupie.”
We pulled up to my dad’s house about an hour later and I smiled at the sight. “Is it weird that this feels like home? I could probably count on one hand the number of times I’ve stayed in this house and with the amount my dad and I talk, we’re practically strangers. But something about being here just always feels right.”
Todd shrugged his shoulders. “You love California and things you love always feel like home.”