Find Her

by Tessa Bailey

  “Where the hell’d you come from, baby?” Johnny dropped his mouth to her neck and tongued her pulse, licking up to her ear and biting gently. “I have to get inside you.”

  Johnny thought he saw a slight hesitation in Hope’s expression, but when she welcomed his next kiss enthusiastically, he decided he had to be mistaken. This girl had to feel this. She had to want him just as badly, right? Like getting as close as possible was a necessity? She let Johnny back her across the room and wedge her back up against the wall—and when his cock pressed to the plane of her belly, they both gasped, Hope looking down, moving her hips almost experimentally against him.

  “You like rubbing on me?” He growled against her mouth. “That feel nice?”

  “Yes,” she breathed, her eyes glazed.

  “That’s good, baby. We’re going to do a lot more of it.”

  They should slow down and talk, shouldn’t they? He wanted to know everything about Hope, but Jesus, he’d never wanted anyone this badly in his fucking life. His hands lacked their usual dexterity as he unzipped his jeans and took out his dick, stroking his aching shaft a couple of times while he made love to Hope’s eager mouth. He grazed her upper lip with his teeth and she whimpered, her head falling back, giving him the opportunity to trail his tongue down to the hollow of her throat, laving her there.

  “Oh my God. Everything feels so good,” she moaned.

  “I’m going to make you feel even better,” he said, rejoining their mouths, tongue fucking her while his hands gathered and lifted the hemline of her dress. Another ten seconds passed before he garnered the will to stop kissing her perfect mouth. When he managed the feat, he leaned back to look at Hope from the waist down, and the chemicals in his blood stream combined and exploded. “You going to drop those little white panties for me, Hope?”

  A tremor went through her and Johnny watched in utter rapture as she crossed her legs and squeezed, wetness seeping through the white cotton covering her pussy. “It’s j-just that your voice…I can feel it everywhere, every time you speak…”

  Johnny’s backed her body more securely against the wall, pressing their fronts together, breathing into her mouth. His thumbs tucked into the waistband of her panties and shoved them down her thighs. “I need you. I need this.”

  They kissed breathlessly, sucking oxygen in through their noses, tongues wrestling. There was a tree planted at the base of his spine, reaching out with its roots and wrapping around every part of him, tightening his muscles and demanding release. Release. With only this girl. No one else. Ever again. No one tasted or felt this right. Johnny fisted his cock and guided it to her sex, finding it slippery enough that he wouldn’t have to wait another second to impale her, put a claim on her right here, right now. My Hope.

  “Rough this time, baby, okay? Next time I’ll lick you where you made that wet spot, fuck you nice and slow and mop up my mess with those white panties. But I have to take right now. You take from me, too, Hope, huh?” He kissed her hard and sank his cockhead inside of her, hissing through his teeth when she gasped, her flesh rippling around him. Christ, she was tight. Almost…too tight?

  “Wait. Wait.” Her shaky breath rushed out over his face. “I’ve never done this.”

  “You’ve never what?” Johnny lifted his head and found Hope’s cheeks stained with pink, her expression unsure. Christ, she hadn’t been unsure a moment ago, had she? He would have reassured her. Held her. Anything. Or had he been so lost in his own lust he’d missed her obvious nerves? “You’re a virgin.” Johnny dropped his forehead to the wall just beyond her shoulder, welcoming the pain. Maybe it would distract him from the incessant throbbing between his legs. “Jesus fucking Christ.”

  “I—I’m sorry,” she stammered, disengaging from Johnny and sidestepping, pulling up her panties with shaking hands. “I should have told you before we…before you…I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m way out of my depth here, okay? Oh God, I have to go.”

  “Have to go?” Johnny reached for Hope’s elbow, but she moved it out of his reach. “Hope,” he said, trying to keep his voice level as he zipped his hard dick back into his jeans with a wince. “Please don’t leave.”

  Face still pink, she tucked hair behind her ear and made for the door. “My brother is waiting for me. It was nice to meet you.” She groaned. “Because that didn’t sound pathetic.”

  She sailed out the door.

  After a few seconds of stunned disbelief, Johnny went after her, catching up with her about ten feet from the dressing room. Ignoring the curious looks from passersby, he stepped into Hope’s hurried path. “Just wait. Okay?” He shoved frustrated fingers through his hair. “Wait one damn minute. I didn’t mean to sound annoyed back there. You caught me off guard.”

  “No. It was me. I was naïve and stupid. I thought we had this, you know…” She gestured to the stage entrance. “Moment out there. I wanted to come back here to see what it meant. If it meant something at all. And it’s fine, it’s okay that it was just about sex, but I can’t hook up with you in a dressing room and just go home like nothing happened. I kind of wish I could.” She gave Johnny a lopsided smile and his heart broke. “I’ll think of you every time I hear ‘Undertow.’”

  Again, she turned to leave.

  “Hope,” Johnny shouted, catching her elbow after a few steps in her wake, pulling her to face him. “Unbelievable,” he said, dropping his head forward on a humorless laugh. “Women offer themselves to me constantly and I never accept. The one time I want to accept, she isn’t offering.”

  “I wasn’t sure if I was offering or not. It all happened so fast,” Hope whispered. “You’re a very distracting kisser.”

  A laugh huffed out of him. “Don’t leave.”

  “Why?”

  “Because we did have a moment out there.” He shook his head. “You brought the silence back.”

  Her breath caught. “What do you mean?”

  Johnny couldn’t believe he’d said that out loud. This girl was going to think he was crazy.

  Or maybe not.

  Her blue eyes held so much understanding, the rest came pouring out. “It’s so loud everywhere I go. People screaming for me to play a particular song, the media asking me questions. That noise doesn’t go away anymore. It stays in my head and I can’t escape it, even when I’m alone.” He looked away with a hard swallow. “I can’t write songs anymore. Haven’t been able to for a year, give or take. It’s too damn loud. But when I saw you, Hope…I can’t explain it. The noise just stopped.” He picked up her hand and brought it to his mouth, skating his lips over the small of her wrist and feeling it flutter. “I’m leaving town tomorrow, yeah. And I don’t want you to go home and pretend like nothing happened. But I won’t pretend I wouldn’t love you to stay with me tonight.”

  She watched his mouth kiss her wrist and palm, seeming almost transfixed. “I want to stay the night with you. I just want to know you better first.”

  “I’ve already told you more about me than I’ve told anyone.” He pulled her close and kissed her forehead. “But you deserve more and I’ll give it to you. I can’t exactly take you out on a date, though. If we were in New York or Los Angeles, I could be more anonymous, but this place…it’s the size of a postage stamp.”

  “Yeah,” she murmured. “Everyone in town was shocked when you announced a tour date here.” Her light brows pulled together. “Why did you?”

  “I told our manager I wanted a smaller venue, hoping it might help me kick the writer’s block. He gave me a list of options and…I picked this one.”

  “Magic,” Hope whispered, threading their fingers together and stepping closer.

  “Yeah,” Johnny rasped, leaning in to speak up against her mouth. “That’s what it feels like.”

  Their lips met in a long, hungry kiss that made his hands itch to part her thighs, to fist her hair, to touch as much of her skin as he could manage.

  When they broke for a much needed breath, they both looked around to onc
e again find at least three dozen sets of eyes watching them like hawks. Hope went up on her toes and said in his ear, “I know somewhere we can go.”

  Chapter Three

  Hope had never been more aware of her posture.

  Her spine was straight as an arrow as she drove Johnny freaking Scott toward her favorite spot on all of planet earth. Although, he’d stopped being just Johnny the rock star, hadn’t he? In a short space of time, he’d gone from larger-than-life music god to…a man—albeit a stupidly gorgeous and sexually charged man who wasn’t even trying to hide his hot perusal of Hope from his sprawl in the passenger seat. Her breath ran short, skin tingling with awareness as she turned off the road, into the open field she’d been coming to since leaving the home. It was the perfect place to escape, and an escape seemed to be exactly what Johnny needed.

  Johnny Scott had writer’s block. It was almost impossible to believe. The media, his fans—the world—portrayed him to be a flawless wizard of lyrics and performing. And he was. But now that he’d confided in her about his struggle with the spotlight, she could see the cracks in the beautiful façade. There was something inside of Hope, something fierce and undeniable, that wanted to fill in those cracks and make him whole again.

  Could she get close enough to this man to accomplish that…and then watch him fly off on an airplane tomorrow? A pit yawned wide in her stomach. Even after less than an hour in his presence, she knew missing him was unavoidable. How would it feel to watch him leave after she’d spent the night with this man and given him a part of herself she’d never considered giving to someone else?

  “You’re nervous again, Hope,” came his low voice from across the car.

  “No, I’m not.” She flexed her fingers on the steering wheel. “Fine. Maybe a little.”

  “Did you tell your brother you were with me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good.”

  Hope winced, remembering the terse exchange she’d had with Wyatt via text message before she’d switched her phone to silent. “Not sure he feels that way.”

  Johnny shifted in his seat and turned his attention to the open landscape spreading out around them. It was close to midnight, but the moon was full, lighting up their surroundings like the world’s biggest spotlight. “He’s overprotective of you?”

  “That’s an understatement.” Pressing her lips together, she regarded him out of the corner of her eye. Johnny had opened up to her about his battle with the pressure of fame. Didn’t he deserve to have her confidence as well? “A lot of my brother’s protectiveness comes from guilt, I think. I became a ward of the state after my parents…lost their battles with addiction.” Johnny turned sharp eyes on her. “Wyatt left home as soon as he turned eighteen and joined the Army. I was fourteen at the time. He was still overseas when I was taken from my parents. He didn’t know until he got home that I’d been placed in a home. It took him a while to get custody and he’s constantly moping about it.”

  “God, Hope…I’m so sorry.” Johnny let out a long breath. “Were you safe there?”

  She smiled at him, though it wobbled. “Yes. Lonely sometimes, but safe.”

  He watched her for several seconds. “Here I am complaining about writer’s block and too much notoriety when you’ve probably been through actual hell.”

  “Problems shouldn’t be something we compare or rate from easy to hard. Everyone’s problems are valid to them and that’s what matters.” Hope pulled the car to a stop beside the single angel oak tree where it sat in the middle of the open field, miles of open space stretching out on every side. “Your songs got me through my hard times. Maybe it’s only right I help you now, like you helped me then.”

  One of Johnny’s eyebrows came up. “You’re going to cure me of my writer’s block?”

  “No, you’re going to cure yourself.” She lifted her chin, the movement tossing her hair back over one shoulder. “I’m just here to supervise.”

  “Goddamn, Hope,” he growled, shaking his head. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

  The breath whooshed out of her lungs, and just like earlier tonight, her thighs felt delicious and melted, like they’d been waiting for his hands to touch them since they were formed by her maker. “Thank you.”

  For a few seconds, their labored breaths were so loud in the silent space of the car, her heartbeat so intense, she swore Johnny was going to reach for her—and if he pushed her panties down this time, she wasn’t sure she could resist. “Come on,” he said finally, his voice like gravel as he opened the car door. “Show me around.”

  Hope took a steadying breath and pushed out of the car, circling the front bumper in Johnny’s direction. “There isn’t much to show you. That’s the beauty of it.”

  “I see that,” Johnny said, turning in a circle. “I can’t remember ever standing in the middle of this much open space. Not without festival tents and thousands of people, at least. It doesn’t seem to end.”

  “What about the noise in your head?” Hope asked softly. “Is it gone?”

  “It’s been gone since I saw you.” He turned to look at Hope, his soul-heavy eyes resting on her face. “This is just icing.”

  Positive the swoon-pocalypse taking place in her belly was also showing on her face, Hope crossed to the trunk of her car, popped it and took out a blanket. She carried it to her usual spot at the base of the angel oak and spread it out, taking a seat on one side. All the while, she sensed Johnny’s scrutiny, his simultaneous eagerness and hesitance to come sit beside her on the blanket—and she could relate. She wanted to be close, to be near him, but gravity seemed to be pushing them together, begging them to touch. To give in now.

  “Hey,” he said, lying on his side next to Hope, head propped on one hand.

  “Hey,” she breathed back, goosebumps tickling her neck. “So when you leave here, where will you go next?”

  Something like dread danced in his eyes before he cast his glance down toward the blanket. “Minneapolis, maybe? Or Detroit.” His mouth twisted. “Could be Chicago.”

  “You can’t tell them apart?”

  “I used to be able to. When I could leave the hotel without getting recognized.” His lips edged up into a smile. “Chicago has the best food. Detroit has the best underground music clubs. New York crowds are sort of aloof, which is a nice challenge.” He shrugged. “Somewhere along the line, it all turned into a blur.”

  Hope slid down onto her side, facing Johnny and his eyes heated, roaming over the curve of her hip and lingering at the hem of her dress where it flirted with the tops of her thighs. “I see.” She swallowed hard. “Why don’t you take a break?”

  Johnny seemed to search for an answer. “We’re at the height of our success. People on our road crew need the job, the money. My bandmates don’t want to slow down. I’d be pissing everyone off. Not to mention, taking time off to revive my creativity is kind of a diva move.”

  “You’re the furthest thing from a diva.”

  “You think so?” He reached a hand out and rasped his palm through the valley of her hip. “I was ready to tear the arena down and start firing people if you weren’t brought backstage tonight.”

  Heat crawled up the insides of her thighs and pooled in her sex, coaxing slickness between her folds. “I couldn’t have stayed away if I wanted to.”

  He cursed, his hand fisting the material of her dress. “I wish I was staying longer, Hope.”

  “Me too.” She wet her lips. “Maybe you’ll come back someday.”

  Johnny’s throat muscles flexed, his focus on Hope intense. “What do you do here in South Carolina? I want to know everything.”

  Hope couldn’t help but shift closer to his body heat, his hand tugging her nearer, too. “Me? Hmm, let’s see. I live with my brother, which can be a challenge, because he does grumpy like it’s his job. I’m a waitress in town. My uniform is hideous, but I love my regulars. They’re mostly truck drivers and I have a bad habit of eavesdropping on their stories from the road.”
She sighed. “I’m going to go to college someday. Soon. I want to get into social work so I can help kids in the same situation I went through.” She pressed her lips together. “I might have gone to school already, but too much structure makes me nervous, so I keep putting it off. Tight schedules, cinderblock walls, authority figures. It reminds me too much of being in the home.”

  Johnny frowned and made a sympathetic noise, reaching up to cup her cheek. “Baby.”

  “It’s okay.” She leaned into his touch with a smile. “I appreciate what I have now so much more because of that experience.” She rolled onto her back and took a deep inhale. “Look at this place. We’re so lucky to be here. We can do and say and think whatever we want and this tree will still be standing here. It makes your problems seem a million miles away.”

  “Yeah,” Johnny breathed. “It does.”

  Hope turned her head to find his eyes riveted on her face. “What are you going to do with the silence in your head, Johnny?”

  “Right now, I just want to fill it with you.” Johnny bent over Hope, his attention fastening to her mouth, and her blood rushed, pounding out a fast tempo in her ears. His hand cupped one of her bare knees and massaged firmly, before slowly pushing it wide on the blanket. “Ah, baby. I need to know how your pussy tastes. Can you let me find out?” His mouth dipped to her cleavage, his tongue skating over the swells pressing to her neckline. And that talented hand of his trailed down her belly to grip her sex through her underwear. “I won’t go any further until you’re ready, but I’m dying to give this a good, hard lick.”

  “Yes.” The word burst out of her, because it felt right. Because her body demanded she embrace the electric connection between them before she exploded into fragments. With the gentle breeze caressing her skin, everything seemed to move in slow motion. Johnny’s eyes flared and his mouth suctioned to her nipple through the bodice of her dress, just momentarily, and the gasp was still lingering in her throat when he got down on his stomach between her thighs. His facial scruff chafed the sensitive skin of her legs, his thumb coming to a gentle, teasing rest over her clit, fondling the nub through her panties. “Oh my God,” she moaned, her back arching off the ground. “I l-like that.”