“What is it then?” I said through half-chewed pastry.
“It’s sugar basting, for the ham.” She waved to the meat that was in the baking dish, and I nodded. Meat sauce and meat mystery solved.
“I really know nothing about any of this stuff, that’s going to be a problem when I go off to… Oxford in a few months.” I had almost slipped, she didn’t seem to notice. She was still doing her basting things.
“You’ll still have chefs and dorms and maids there, I’m sure.”
“Yeah…” If I was going to Oxford I would. But I wasn’t going to Oxford.
I was supposed to go on a kamikaze mission with Cail. They had trained me for years to do so. I was, in essence, my father’s most prized weapon.
But I wasn’t going with Cail to take over Europe, either. Where I was going didn’t have maids or cooks. At least I didn’t think it did. I wasn’t actually sure where I was going.
I still had some pieces of my escape plan to work through.
But I needed to make sure Jos was fine, first.
“Maybe I’ll just hire you to come along with me,” I laughed, knowing how impossible it was.
“I’d go,” she slid, placing the ham into the oven before turning. “If it would get Timothy off my back.”
I sat up a little straighter. “What is he saying now?”
“Same as usual,” she mumbled, swapping out my empty plate for another danish.
“You know, with cooking like yours, you could get a job anywhere. Perhaps somewhere safer.”
“Safer? Am I working for a mob boss?” She laughed uncomfortably, I shook my head. She had no idea.
“No, just bastards who don’t appreciate you, and think your daughter is a bad influence on me. Which couldn’t be further than the truth,” I shrugged, even though a pain in my chest was starting to form. “I’m leaving for school. I’m sure there are better positions. I’ll give you a good reference.”
Angela kept glancing at me as she went around the kitchen in her usual hustle, her lips pressed together. I needed to protect both of them, and this was just the start of that.
She just needed a nudge in the right direction.
“Or I could talk to Timothy.”
She froze, slamming down the pan she was holding. “I don’t want you to get involved, Ryland. You take on too much responsibility as it is. Go. Be a kid.”
“I’m not a kid.” I was too quick to answer and she turned.
“You’re barely eighteen. I would still say you’re a kid.”
“Yet. But I don’t feel like a kid, well, unless I’m with Jos. She makes life feel normal. Like I can be myself.” My chest tightened in that expectant pain of the day she was torn from me. Angela looked about ready to explode with tears again.
“No need to gush, Mrs. D, you just raised an awesome daughter is all.” Luckily, that seemed to calm her and I gave her my best grin before eating the other half of the danish.
I downed the coffee and stood, still grinning at the glossy-eyed cook.
“Tell her I said ‘hi’, kay?”
As much as I would have loved to hide in the kitchen all day, if Timothy was threatening her then my being there was only going to make things worse.
Heck, Jos watching a movie in my room this weekend was going to make things worse.
My father had already warned me, he could hurt me in other ways, and he had clearly already set that ball in motion.
Which meant there was only one thing to do.
I needed to say goodbye.
I needed to leave.
Seventeen
Joclyn
For the second time in a week, I woke to the sound of Ryland’s knock echoing through my tiny apartment. I fought the urge to yell when I looked at the clock, 5:15 a.m. My alarm wasn’t set to go off for another forty-five minutes. I rolled out of bed and landed hard on the floor.
“I’m coming,” I said loud enough for him to hear me.
“About time,” I heard his happy voice yell back. Great, he’s wide awake.
I crawled toward the door, grabbing a sweater I had discarded last night and threw it on to cover the lightweight cami I wore. I continued to crawl until I reached the front door where I pulled myself upright and threw the door open.
“It’s five in the morning, Ry,” I yawned, my hair falling around my face.
“Yeah, sorry about that.” He ran his big hand through his dark curls, looking away from me. “I was just worried about you.”
“You were worried about me?” My voice sounded more hostile than I had meant it to.
“Yes, Jos.” He looked down, his eyes smoldering and I felt my heart sputter. “Why aren’t you wearing my necklace?” He reached out and trailed the tip of his finger against my neck, his touch leaving a shivering trail behind it.
I grasped toward my collar bone, shocked to find the fine silver chain missing. “It must have fallen off while I slept.” I looked back toward my room, as if just expecting to see it sitting on the fold of my comforter.
“Why don’t you go get it? I’ll get breakfast ready.” He smiled and held up a bag full of greasy doughnuts. I couldn’t help but smile at the look on his face; he was so adorable. I let him in before turning to retrieve the necklace from within the mass of pillows and blankets that was my bed. The necklace lay warm in my hand, as if I had been lying on it all night.
“See, not lost.” I walked up behind Ryland as he searched for plates in the kitchen.
“Good.” He took the necklace from my hands and went to put it around my neck again. I moved my hair for him, so as not to reveal my mark. For a split second, I almost didn’t. I almost wanted him to see it, to see what he would do. That risk was too much for me, though, so I kept it hidden.
“Please don’t take it off, okay?” he pleaded, his deep blue eyes boring into me.
“You act like I’m going to go hock it and buy a car.” I laughed at the thought, but he didn’t. My laughter died off as I sat the milk and some glasses on the table.
“Relax, Ryland, it’s not like I could, even if I tried.”
Ryland looked at me menacingly from beneath his long lashes.
“I couldn’t, could I?”
He chuckled at me.
“I could?”
“More than likely, but please don’t, Joclyn,” he pleaded, coming to kneel in front of me and gathering my hands in his. His hands were warm and soft; the warmth radiated up my arms and through my body in a comforting wave that enveloped me.
“Please don’t, Jos. Don’t take it off, don’t sell it, don’t lose it, don’t give it away. Think of it as a piece of me,” he said and looked down at our interlocked hands. “You know I am leaving the country soon, and it may be a while until I see you again. I may… I may never see you again. Please keep it close. That way I will always know you are safe.”
He lifted his head to look at me, and I was shocked to see his eyes brimming with threatening tears. He lifted our hands together and placed them over the necklace, right next to my heart.
“Promise me, Joclyn, please.”
I didn’t know how to react. Was this goodbye? I didn’t think I could handle any more emotional daggers this week. It had been a week, one week since my birthday, and everything had flipped upside down. Ryland’s thumb began to caress the back of my hand, waiting for an answer. The action sent my heart and stomach tangoing through my body in pure pleasure.
“I promise,” I exhaled, hoping that this wasn’t goodbye. Not already. It couldn’t be; there were still four weeks until graduation.
Almost as soon as the words left my lips, my mom’s bedroom door creaked open and Ryland left my side, sitting back in his own chair before my mom could even exit her room.
“Why, Ryland,” her voice was laced with parental venom, “was that your knock I heard at such an ungodly hour this morning?” She wrapped her robe around her as she made her way to the kitchen in search of a coffee mug.
“Sorry, Mrs. D.” Ryla
nd slipped right into his normal voice, as if nothing had happened over the past few minutes. “I wanted to provide breakfast for my two favorite ladies.” He winked at my mom as he shook the doughnut bag, causing me to almost choke on the maple bar I had just bit into. My mom looked between us in some sort of amused frustration. I wished she would just laugh; it would make everything go a lot smoother.
“Joclyn, I have given some thought to what we talked about in the car on Tuesday night.”
I sat up straighter, swallowing my doughnut. I couldn’t believe she was going to do this in front of Ryland, but, oh well. I chanced a glance at him to see that he was just as attentive as I was.
“I will let you two have your movie night on one condition.”
I sat forward more; she had my full attention—this had to be good.
“No hoodies for the rest of the week.”
Not good.
“What?” I shrieked. I looked over at Ryland. He was smiling ear to ear.
“Thursday, Friday, Saturday. No hoodie.” She was firm.
I was doomed.
“Good one! I knew you’d get her out of those hoodies somehow!” He lifted his hand to my mom, ready for a high five. I rounded on Ryland; my face must have been terrifying because he turned that high five into a hair smooth real quick.
“Please tell me you had nothing to do with this, Ryland.” My voice was a growl.
“Not a bit.” He winked at me and I felt my resolve lessen. Stupid hormones!
“Mom!” I pleaded with her like a child. This was not a compromise; this was torture.
“Take it or leave it, Joclyn.”
“Mom, this is so not fair! I can’t go to school without a hoodie. Do you know what will happen?” Yes, I was begging. I didn’t care. I couldn’t lose Saturday night, but this was unacceptable.
“People will see what a beautiful young lady you are. Oooh! Maybe you’ll get asked out on a date!” she said triumphantly.
I felt Ry tense behind me. I just wanted to melt into the kitchen floor.
“Whatever, Mom.”
“Joclyn, if you want to go with Ryland Saturday night, you need to do this for me.”
I felt the last of my resolve slip away. How many times was I going to get guilt-tripped this morning?
“Fine.” I think I sounded like a beaten kitten. “I’ll see you later, Ry.” I waved to him as I tromped off to my room. If I had to put some thought into my clothes, this was going to take a while.
“Actually,” Ryland began, stopping me in my tracks, “I am going to take you to school today. That’s what I came over to tell you.”
I swear my heart just shot right down to my toes. I was not sure if my mother laughed or gasped; either way, the sound that came from the kitchen was not very good.
Ryland looked at me with this heroic glee, like he had just won the best prize in the world.
“Fine!” I snapped and ran to my room, there was no way I could win against those two. I put some mindless music on a little louder than normal in an attempt to drown out the voices from the kitchen, and set to work.
I pulled out a pair of darker jeans that would fit snug, but still had enough room in them that I wouldn’t look like I was trying too hard. That left shirts. Okay, so brand new red shirt was out—I had to save that for Saturday. So that left a gray one with ruffles I never wore and a green one with fabric roses near the hem. Seeing as they would both get a turn, I grabbed blindly, draping the green shirt over the jeans. Grabbing the rest of the stuff I needed, I ran across the hall to the bathroom and took the world’s quickest shower.
Without the hood to help keep my hair in place, I had to do something to guarantee that ugly mark didn’t peek out. I brushed my hair before lifting the hair up above my right ear. There it was, the dragon, peeking out from beneath my ear to look at me. I covered it with a small bandage and then pulled my hair into a sleek side braid, guaranteeing that no one would see it.
I shoved my clothes on, not bothering to look at myself in the mirror. I didn’t want to see myself and lose the forced confidence I had tried to rattle to the surface. I sprinted across the hall to my room, shutting my door behind me. Even my music couldn’t drown out my mother’s joyous laughter.
It was like my birthday all over again. I liked the way I looked; I just wished I felt more comfortable. I dabbed on some concealer and lip gloss before turning to the door, my hand freezing on the knob. It wasn’t just my mom out there; it was Ryland, too. Beyond that, what was I going to do when I got to school? My false confidence morphed into a full-blown panic attack and I found myself hyperventilating behind the bedroom door. The skin on my chest grew hot, as if my panic had ignited the necklace that was hiding underneath my shirt.
The knob twisted under my fingers and was jerked out of my hand as the door flung open in front of me. Ryland grabbed me around the waist and pulled me to him, burying his face in my hair. He cradled me against his strong chest, his hand wrapped around my waist as the other smoothed my back. As his hand moved its way up and down my back, I found my breath slowing, the panic melting away.
“Shhhhh… it’s okay, Jos. Just breathe. I’m here.” I wrapped my arms around him as I came back to myself.
He moved me away from him; his hands never left my shoulders as his thumbs moved over the skin on my arms. I looked up at him in nervous anticipation, but his eyes didn’t leave mine. He didn’t look at what I wore. He didn’t appraise my uncovered body. He just stared straight into my eyes with a passion I had never seen before.
“You’re beautiful.” His hands trailed down my arms, their warmth leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. He intertwined his fingers with mine for a brief second before leaning down, his lips brushing against the crown of my hair. “Your eyes, they are just like diamonds.”
I shivered at his whisper, his voice lingering in my ear. He squeezed my hand before dragging me off to the kitchen where my mom sat, still in her robe. At the sight of me, she dropped her doughnut. Her face screamed pure joy; it almost felt like she was sending me off to my first day of kindergarten.
“Oh, Joclyn, you’re beautiful.” She cupped my face with her rough kitchen hands. She was crying, and I felt like crying, too. I had given her what she wanted, her dream. If only for three days, I was giving her that beautiful, little girl she had always wanted. Deep down inside, I knew I wanted to be that, too.
Eighteen
Joclyn
I didn’t want to get out of the car. Who would? It was nice and warm, and the leather of the seats were soft and cozy. Ryland had turned the radio down low and he had his hand on my knee, thumb caressing me in a comfortable way. He was relaxed. I scowled at the large red school in front of us.
“Maybe I didn’t think this through enough,” I said.
“What do you think they will do; more than just notice you, I mean?”
I turned to glare at him. I wasn’t in the mood to go over my fight with Cynthia just yet. His hand moved from my knee to trail up the pale skin of my arms, leaving another row of goosebumps behind.
“That would be enough to ruin my day.” I tried to laugh, but it didn’t come out right; my panic made it sound more maniacal than I had intended.
“Honestly, Jos, did you think I would feed you to the wolves?” His eyes sparkled as he reached behind my seat for a large wad of fabric.
I recognized it at once as a hoodie, and I couldn’t help the smile that spread over my face. I untangled the mass of cloth to reveal a bright blue jacket with a small stamp of Whittier Prep’s crest on the chest.
Ryland shifted in his seat and began to help me pull the sweat shirt over my head, careful not to let it run against my sleek braid. As it moved over me, I caught the strong, pleasurable smell that was so Ryland; grass from endless hours on the Rugby field and some sort of heavy smoke, not like the smoke of a drug user, but that heavy wooden smell like a million bonfires or fireworks.
“Thanks, Ry.” I looked up at him and gave him my biggest, goofie
st grin; all the while chanting in my head. Only friends, only friends…
“Anything for you, sweetheart.”
Only friends, only friends…
His hand moved up to cup my face, his thumb trailing along my jaw and I froze. My mind went blank. It was only when he began to move closer that my brain went into overdrive.
“I’ve got to go.” It took all my strength to pull my face away from his touch and move out of the warm comforting interior of his Lotus. My heart screamed at me as I pried myself away, desperate to get back to him. I closed the door behind me and leaned against it longer than would have been natural until I heard his dark chuckle from inside the car. I jumped at the sound and moved away, speed walking toward the school.
“Hey, Jos.”
I turned to his voice, he was leaning over the passenger seat and out the window so he could talk to me.
“Ryland.” That came out a bit stiff.
“I’ll be here to pick you up right after school.”
I nodded at him and began walking. I only made it about two steps before he stopped me again.
“And, Joclyn, the sweater’s a gift, another piece of me, okay?” He winked at me, his blue eyes flashing. My eyes were glued to his for a minute before he tore away, speeding off in his car.
I continued toward the school, my head buzzing in an odd swarm of happy mosquitoes. Nothing made sense; Ryland had sat at my kitchen table less than a week ago explaining that the necklace didn’t mean anything, but since then, he has been trying to kiss me. Then there were all the gifts, like he was saying goodbye.
My heart thudded as I crossed the street, making a beeline to Wyn who was in a heated conversation with someone who stood with their back to me. I was determined to get over the weirdness so we could keep working on our friendship. After all, I would need her after Ryland left.
Wyn’s voice rose a bit, the frantic tone increasing as I moved closer to her. She was so engrossed in her conversation that she didn’t even see me step right up next to her.
Imdalind Ruby Collection One: Kiss of Fire | Eyes of Ember | Scorched Treachery Page 12