by Eryn Ryans
I keep getting this weird feeling though that something has changed within me somehow. That there was something that my dad forgot to tell me about, some reason he kept me hidden away for all those years.
Now here where I knew no one and nothing I feel so desperately alone. Maybe that is why every night in my disoriented and exhilarating dreams I find myself running through the woods. The trees and other shrubbery flying past me without a care in the world. I was finally free every night in my dreams. Feet it the dirt as the trees whip by me.
During the day, I feel as if a part of me wants to escape the skin that surrounds me. As much as I try to fit into this new family that I was thrown into I just don’t feel I fit in.
Monday night, after everyone had gone to bed, I quietly slipped out of bed. Getting dressed in the echoing blackness of the night I snuck out of the house. I felt bad about it for a few moments, the family here was not so bad that I needed to sneak about.
Slipping silently into the woods behind the house I breathed out the frustration I had been holding with in me. Something just felt right about being out here in the woods.
I wanted to be by myself. In all the hustle and bustle of getting here and settling in I had been surrounded by people nearly every moment. Looking up to the moon past the trees I walked slowly trying to figure out what my dreams were all about. These were the woods I was dreaming about running through every night for over a week. What could it mean?
Then faintly, I heard music. A melodic tone that seemed to call to me as I searched out the source. Quietly following the sound I trekked over roots and downed trees with my ears leading the way.
Finally I was pulled up short by the sight of Aaric alone in the woods. What is he doing here? Sitting against a tree I watched him move about as my curiosity grew.
I could not take my eyes off his tanned skin. In the moonlight, he looked like a chiseled God standing there with his shirt off. Eons away from the stand offish guy I had come to know from the house. Now he reminded me of an Adonis from one of those romance novels that Sam had always teased me about getting so wrapped up in reading. I couldn’t help it. I loved reading and my favorite Genre was romance.
The guys in the books I read may be my fantasy guys, but they were also an escape from the terrible reality I was living in. Sam just didn’t understand that very much since his life was nearly perfect.
I’m not sure what it was that pulled me from my thoughts. Maybe Arric moved again or the music changed. Regardless I sat at the base of the tree completely attuned to what was happening in the clearing before me. All of a sudden my skin rippled with concern, I think he knows I am here watching him like a psycho. Quickly shuffling behind the tree I made a little too much noise in my panicked retreat.
“Who’s out there?” Aaric’s gruff tone called out to the night. I silently cursed myself for being so clumsy to have been caught watching him. How embarrassing?
“It’s me, Allysonn.” My voice rang out from behind the tree as I slumped out of the shadows. I could have sworn he growled a bit when he saw me. Teeth gnashed in annoyance he looked supremely pissed and I couldn’t blame him. He clearly came out here for solitude and I had single handedly wrecked all that.
“What are you doing here?” His short black hair reflected the moonlight that met him through the trees. Focusing on my feet I felt all the awkwardness my body could produce flowing through me.
“I have been dreaming about these woods for the last week,” glancing up at him hoping that would not sound as weird as it felt to me “and I umm… I have never been out here, I wanted to find out what the heck they dreams were about.” Listening silently to my droning on and on I continued without preamble. “I heard the music, so I followed the sound and saw you. W-what you doing out here?”
“Nothing. Go home and don’t tell anyone you saw me.” His sharp words reflected the glower he presented as he turned his back on me dismissively.
I took that as a sign that he was no longer going to answer any of my burning questions. What a jerk, the nerve of that guy. My irritation simmered to a low boil as I pulled open the back door to the house my foster family lived in.
I did not go to sleep easily that night. Questions were now flying through my head as I rested on my pillow. What was he doing in the woods at night? What was with the music? Was I going crazy or did I see weird tattoos on his skin?
Why was I so mesmerized by what he was doing? No mesmerize was the wrong word for it… I was drawn to what he was doing. Ugh! What is going on here? Most of all why did what he was doing make me feel like I should be doing the same thing?
The only thing I knew for sure was that I was going to have to follow Aaric again. To find out the answers to all my questions that ate away at my mind like acid. It is obvious from his grumpy dismissal that he is not going to be willing to answer any of them himself.
Besides, how could I tell him that I felt connected to what he was doing? That was a majority creepy thing to say to someone and I don’t quite understand it in the first place. I lay in my bed thinking to myself when a tired voice spoke out of the dark.
“Are you okay Allysonn?” I heard the whisper from the other corner of our shared room. The voice had really startled me, my heart beat loudly against my chest as I tried to calm my breathing.
“Uh, yeah Brooke, I’m fine. Go back to sleep, sorry for waking you.” I hoped that sounded more even keel than my frantic heart felt.
“Oh, you didn’t, I’ve been laying here waiting to hear for when Aaric comes back in. I do this every night.” Every night huh? Yawning her sleepy response had caught my attention.
“Do you know what he does out there?” My hushed words bounced off the walls around us as we lay in the darkness of the bedroom.
“No, I don’t dare follow him. The woods are dirty.” She responded casually as if it were a natural conclusion. I had to smile at that, Brooke may be an air head but she was every bit a girly girl. If she even got a speck of dirt on her she would run screaming into the house to change her entire outfit.
“How long has he been going out there?” I asked in hope that she would keep the information flowing.
“Every night that I know of. He was here before I got here.” Her words were broken up by a loud yawn. “Will you tell me when he gets back?”
“Sure will, you go to sleep Brooke.” Knowing I would be up for quite a bit longer I thought over all the information he had given me. When I heard the even cadence of her deep breathing again, I knew she was sound asleep. I was alone with my thoughts once again.
As the sun set, I walked out to the clearing in the woods. My usual routine of going out the the to do the ritual that my parents taught me long ago. I set up my small radio, turned on the music. The melodic tune filled the small clearing I came to every day.
Taking off my shirt and my shoes I then bowed to the east. Then the north, south and finally the west, where the sun sets. Feeling the dirt beneath my feet I exhaled into the cool night air as I started the dance.
I could feel the symbols started to heat up and glow as I proceeded through the motions. Smiling I felt all the familiar emotions course through me.
I’m not sure when I felt the eyes on me, but I distinctly knew that there was someone watching me. That is when I found out it was Allysonn. I knew she was going to end up being just like Brooke and Janie.
They both had been following me around like a puppy does it’s owner. I may have spoke to her a bit gruffer than I needed to, but she needed to know that I didn’t appreciate her following me without asking.
After she left, felt strange. As if a part of me had left with her. I’m not sure what that was all about. I went back to dancing and smiled when Abigail showed up and sat there watching me continue my ritual.
My parents had called this ritual giving thanks to the sun for the light it had given us during the day and saying hello to the moon at night. I performed it every night to honor them and will continue to do so for as l
ong as I live.
The dance consists of a series of twirls followed by a dip low to the ground, and then a quick jump into the air. Bending my body with expert precision I then do three flips into the air quickly followed by four somersaults. Ending with a back bend I finish the dance feeling all the joy in the completion of the ritual. Abigail came up and licked my face in approval when I was done. I had to laugh when she did so.
After the night I saw Aaric alone in the woods, I quietly followed him every night thereafter. Walking silently through the forest keeping track of his steps ahead of me in the silent night around us.
Another week had passed before I felt like there were other eyes watching me. That was when I saw them. It was just one at first. I was shocked when a lone white wolf walked out of the woods and right up to Aaric. He didn’t seem scared at all. In fact, from my hiding spot, it looked as though they were having a conversation.
The next night, other wolves were with the white one I had seen. It was fascinating to watch Aaric interact with this group of wolves. His normally gruff features melted to soft warmth when he spoke to them. It was as if the wolves were communicating with Aaric. Their silent conversations seemed almost too private for me to be watching.
I silently snuck closer to get a better look. The gold markings on his skin I had thought tattoos seemed to glow. Then before my eyes he transformed. Aaric the human was no more.
What stood before me was a glorious, pure black wolf. The markings that were on the skin of human Aaric seemed to mark this wolf as the leader of the pack of wolves behind him.
A normal human being would surely scream at the sight of Aaric transforming into a wolf right in front of their eyes, but somehow this felt like a natural occurance to me. I could not explain it, but I just smiled as I watched him. I felt safe with him like I suddenly belonged.
The wolf looked me right in the eyes, then turned his head up towards the moon and howled. Taking off like a rocket he ran away from the clearing with the rest of the pack. All I could do was stand there in awe and wonder at the fascinating sight that had just taken place in front of me.
The morning of my eighteenth birthday, I hoped it would just be forgotten. I was not looking forward to celebrating it. My family was dead after all so what was the use in celebrating my birthday?
That was not the case, however, when I went downstairs to the kitchen. Pam, my foster mother, was busily humming around the kitchen and stopped when I walked in.
“Good Morning Allysonn. Happy Birthday!” She cheerfully reached for a yellow wrapped packed that had been sitting on the breakfast bar and came over offering it to me. “This is for you from Roger and myself.”
“Uh. You didn’t have to buy me anything.” I felt enough like a burden to them for the last few weeks of housing me.
“We wanted to.” She smiled he board warm grin in response.
“Do you want me to open it now?” I asked hoping to get it over with. She looked at Roger with a hurt look in her eyes, so I knew I had better open it before I trampled her sweet feelings further. I started to carefully take the wrapping off the box. When I opened the box, I found that there were a set of keys in the box. My eyes glanced between the pair like a ping pong ball.
“Um, a set of keys?” I questioned in shock.
Pam smiled widely, “Yes we bought you car. Roger would you like to take her outside and show her.”
“Sure, let’s go outside Ally.” Roger said putting a hand on my shoulder. I went outside with him and much to my surprise a nice-looking Blue Honda Accord was parked in the driveway.
“What do you think Ally?” Roger asked as if he had no idea the gift was too much. It was more than I could have ever hoped for, more than I could have dreamt.
“Thank you very much! I certainly was not expecting this.” I nearly shouted as I ran over to the car.
“What else do you have planned?” Roger, my foster dad asked as he leaned against the door watching me fiddle with the controls.
“Nothing much. Just going to school and coming home.” I said and then heard the honk of the school bus. I looked up at Roger.
“I’ll start giving you lessons today after school if you are up to it. Go in and grab your books so you won’t miss the bus.” he smiled his cool smile as I ran to hug him. On my way out I stopped to give Pam a quick hug as well.
“Have a great day!” Pam called out to all of us as we all headed out to the bus.
Janie followed me out the door.
“Are you sure you want to spend your birthday at home?” Her inquiry stuck me as odd. I don’t know any one here and I had nothing to do with my free time as it was.
“Yeah, what else am I supposed to do?” I asked as we reached the bus.
“Oh, I don’t know, don’t you want to go out with your friends from school?” she replied over her shoulder as we got on the bus. I following behind her we took our seats next to each other as I thought it over.
The kids around us were hooting and hollering as it was getting close to Halloween and everyone was talking about what they were going to do and be for the holiday. I had not even given the idea any thought. To be honest, my birthday or Halloween had never been big in my house. No one made any fuss or a big deal. So I didn’t want it to be made a big deal here either, I thought to myself.
I got through the day and got home and went straight to my room. As much I would’ve liked to have started to learn how to drive the car was actually an unexpected surprise and I’m not sure how I feel about it yet. Suprized? Yes but also unsure and concerned. Feigning a headache I slipped away to the solitude of my room. It wasn’t long before Janie knocked on my door.
“Ally, Can I come in please?” Janie’s soft voice asked from the other side of the door. She was pretty okay and I felt like a jerk for turning her away.
“Yeah, come on in.” I grumbled quickly throwing my bag behind me. She opened the door and came in with a purple wrapped box in her hands.
“I know you aren’t too fond that it’s your birthday, but I had already bought this for you, and I wanted to give it to you when it was just the two of us.” She said and laid the box down in front of me.
“What is it?” I asked looking at the box and then up at her.
“You are going to have to open it Ally .” She smiled in mock irritation as I leaned toward her out stretched hands. Sighing heavily I started to carefully unwrap the package. Inside the wrapped box was a necklace with a wolf on it.
“Janie, th-this is so beautiful and so… thoughtful. Thank you so very much.” Taking the trinket out I held it in my hands examining the finely detailed wolf. “How did you know I would like something like this?” I questioned as I attempted to put it on.
“I had gone shopping with Mom last weekend and saw it in the window of The Lucky Rose Boutique. When I saw it, I immediately thought of you… and mom said your birthday was coming up, so I knew I had to get it.” Her sweet reply warmed my heart and paired with the simple but amazing gift I felt the beginnings of an emotional response bubble with in me.
“Thank you again Janie!” I said with a huge smile as I looked down at the wolf hanging around my neck. The would was completely silver with one dark blue eye.
“You are very welcome Ally. I’m glad you like it,” she exclaimed.
“I not only like it. I love it!” I said excitedly and reached over and gave her a huge hug, which she returned gratefully.
When Janie left my room I grabbed my bag then I slipped out of the house. Taking off to the went to the woods to the spot where Aaric would meet with the wolves. When I had gotten to the clearing, no one was there, so I just sat down and took out my journal and started to write about what had been happening since my father had passed.
After a while I looked around not really expecting to see anything, but something caught my eye. I wasn’t sure what it was at first, but when I looked closer, I saw that it was the white wolf staring back at me. I sat up straighter.
“Hello t
here,” I said softly. I wasn’t sure if it could understand me, but it looked as if it did because it moved closer to me. “I’m not going to hurt you,” I said to it.
It moved just a bit closer to me. I smiled at it and was amazed when it walked all the way up to me. Its eyes were an amazing clear blue and looked like it could see right into my soul. When I looked into its eyes, I felt like I knew who it was; like I was somehow connected to the wolf in some fashion.
“You know who I am don’t you?” I spoke softly to the gentle beast. The wolf even let me touch it. It’s fur was so soft to the touch.
“Look at that?” A voice behind me spoke out in wonder startling me.
“Aaric, what are you doing out here,” I asked as I quickly stood up.
“Pam went to your room to check on you and got worried when she found it empty. When Janie said that she had spoken to you last in your room, Pam has been frantically searching the house for you. She was ready to call the cops and put out a report on a missing child however I told her I would go looking for you first.” he replied.
“Oh, gosh, she overreacts, so much,” I said with a smile and a roll of my eyes.
“I’ve never seen Abigail come up to anyone like that before,” he said pointing to the wolf at my side. I looked down at the wolf he was referring to.
“The wolf’s name is Abigail?” I asked.
“Yes, she has a name,” he said with a laugh.
“Nice to meet you, Abigail,” I said to the wolf with a smile and another rub on the top of her soft furred head.
“Since you’ve obviously met Abigail, you can stop hiding in the woods and come join in tonight if you’d like,” he said with a knowing smile.
“How did you?” I asked quickly, but then by the look on his face said, “Never mind, I saw you transform you obviously remember that.” I finally put it together with a knowing smile back.