by Ali Parker
“Because it’s true and because he admitted that he regretted firing you. He also said you were done with him, which would be comical if it hadn’t broken his poor fool heart.” He glanced up at me from his plate. “We both know that’s a lie, don’t we?”
“It’s what I told him.” I shrugged. “Don’t you think the two of us would be better off without each other and all the constant bickering that happens when we’re together? He’s got bigger worries.”
“No, I think you need each other. I think, believe it or not, that it’s possible you two are more miserable without each other than you are together. Besides, he needs your help, and you know you want to help him.” He smiled at me and made teasing kissy noises like when we were little and Ted would pick me first. “Admit it, you love him.”
“So what, it’s not like he’d ever tell me he loves me. He can barely say he’s sorry.” I plopped down beside my brother.
“He’s a good guy. He loves you. He’d burn the whole world down to protect you. What more do you want?”
Resting my chin on my palm I sighed. “I want him to, at the very least, make me feel like he’s that guy.” I dropped my hand and leaned back in my chair. “I should offer to help, shouldn’t I?”
“You could negotiate your job back if you want it. Hell, it wouldn’t take much, and I think Ted’s getting desperate.” Bailey smiled as if the thought amused him. I remembered the way Ted explained his situation, like all the weight of the world was on his shoulders smothering him.
A part of me thought, based on our past alone, I should offer to help, but another part of me didn’t want to go running back to Ted. If I was met with his smug indifference, or worse, his boastful arrogance, I didn’t think I could handle it. “I’ll think about it.”
“If you’re that hell-bent on working, you can go ask Dad for Tyler’s job. I’m sure he’d be interested in the heavy work you’ve been doing over at the Dawson place.”
“What did he think I was doing? Picking peas?”
“That’s exactly what he thought. With Mrs. Dawson recovering, he assumed you were taking over her duties.” I wished. That would have been the easiest job ever, but even though Mrs. Dawson was pushing the limits of her recovery, Mr. Dawson had taken to her side in the garden. He didn’t want her lifting a tomato, much less picking the entire garden.
“Well, at least he has you.” I wasn’t going to bring up the drinking and was certain Bailey knew exactly what I meant. Dad hadn’t been able to count on him as much with his little problem. “Guess I should thank Ted for bringing you home alive, though black and blue.”
Bailey shook his head and smiled as he headed for the door. “Sounds like a good excuse,” he mumbled on his way out. He thought he had me, but I wasn’t going to weaken. I’d wait until later and call Ted to thank him and then politely mention the program and offer a hand.
I went back to work with my chores and stewed over my next move as I polished the furniture. I’d made it all the way upstairs and down the hall when my cell phone rang. My heart skipped a beat, hoping it was Ted, but then I should have known better. The screen lit up with my best friend’s name.
“Hey, Katie! How’ve you been?” My lifelong bestie and I hadn’t talked in days. That was forever for us, and I hated that life had pulled us in different directions.
A loud sigh of exhaustion sounded through the phone. “I need your help.”
“Anything.” I never hesitated when it came to Katie, though I often regretted being so eager. I held my breath and waited, hoping I hadn’t sold my soul for something awful.
“I’m organizing the FFA Banquet this year at the high school, but we’re using the Baptist fellowship hall, and the place needs a little dressing. I’m stuck because I need something free-standing, so I wondered if you still had those old doors from your house lying around.” Katie took a deep breath, and I could hear a pen scribbling on paper across the line. Katie had always been a doodler, especially when she was on the phone and the more anxious she was, the harder she pressed with her pen. I remember her nightstand having marks from where she’d scribbled on her paper too hard.
“I think I do. I’ll have to go out to the barn and find them, but I can let you know.”
“Oh, that would be great. Don’t you think they’d be perfect? I could throw a few bales around them and maybe put the cake table in front of them? You don’t think they’d tip over and ruin the cake, do you?” She made a sound of frustration and then I heard paper crumble.
“It will be fine. You could hinge them all together and stand them up. I think there were five of them and the hinges were still on them.”
“That’s perfect! You’re a lifesaver. I’m so glad you answered. I didn’t know if you’d be at work.” I imagined by the way she said work that she had a dopey grin on her face and shook my head as she continued. “How’s that going? Teddy giving you proper training?” Her giggle made me want to crawl away and die, and I hated to tell her everything that had happened. Besides, I didn’t know if I wanted her opinion on what my next move should be.
“Things are okay, and I’m off today.” A sinking feeling accompanied how pathetic I thought I was, and I hoped she wouldn’t press on about it. I’d have to steer her away from the topic. “When do you need the doors?”
“As soon as you can find them. The banquet is Monday night, so I’ll have them back to you as soon as I’m finished.”
“Okay, let me go make sure we still have them, and I’ll let you know. Daddy could be using them to hold up the barn for all I know.” We shared a laugh and then said our goodbyes. I’d need both hands to get into the loft where I thought they were stored.
I went outside and crossed the field to the big barn. Our farm had six, but this was the one where Daddy kept most of our old junk. I climbed up the ladder and rummaged around the hundreds of boxes to see where the doors might be stacked. Sure enough, I found them, but there were only four. Daddy had pulled six from inside the house, but he’d given one to Bailey for a headboard. I glanced around hoping I’d find the fifth one and then scratched my head wondering what could have happened to it. I tried to pull them free from the tight space they lay in, but it was no use, they weren’t budging. I’d have to move all the junk that pinched against them and hope that they weren’t that heavy. I remembered the day Katie and I had climbed up here and wanted to use them to build a clubhouse. But we couldn’t get to them then, which was a good thing, since Daddy squashed our plans and sent us out to Fort Langston to play.
Ted didn’t stick around for dolls or tea parties at that age, though he’d had imaginary tea when no one else was around. He and Katie had always gotten along, but the few times she came over, he kept away. He tried bringing us both fishing once, but then got mad and went home when Katie and I kept talking and scaring away the fish. His theory didn’t hold up, though, because both of us had caught fish after he left, or maybe we didn’t talk as much.
I finished shoving the boxes out of my way and then pulled one of the doors free. The heavy, solid oak did still have its hinges like I’d thought. It wouldn’t be hard for Katie to screw them together, considering she had a little help. I shoved one over to the ledge and then slowly lowered it to the bottom, leaning it against my ladder and still managing enough room to work my way down. One down, three more to go.
I couldn’t help but think more about my childhood and Katie, and that made me think about Ted as well. I wanted to put him out of my head, but it was no use. We’d been friends too long, and I needed to make up my mind what to do. I dusted off my jeans and climbed back up the ladder. Putting everything else with Ted aside, one fact remained. He needed my help and I needed a job. As hard as it was to tuck my tail and go talk to him, I’d be doing us both a favor. He’d come to me wanting to put everything aside and in the past, and maybe he was right. Everything in the past, including the relationship, should be put aside while we moved on, him with his ranch and me with my own farm. Once things got worked
out for both of us, then we could concentrate on salvaging what was left of our feelings for one another if there were any.
After I got the doors down from the loft and accounted for, I called to let Katie know they were waiting. Once we made our arrangements, I freshened up and headed next door.
Chapter 21
Ted
“Dammit!” Nothing had gone right all day, and from the smoke billowing out of the tractor, things weren’t improving.
“Yeah, I think she’s seen her last day.” Luke patted Tilly’s tire and shook his head.
“Everything’s falling apart around here. I made a list last night of all the equipment that needs repair. Luckily, she’s not our only tractor, but with Mason on the other one, and we both know that smaller one ain’t worth a damn, we’re going to be in a bind if we’re not careful. We’re already shit out of luck today anyway.” I took my hat off and threw it and then kicked it from where it landed. I glanced up to the house and frowned. “I bet Dad’s having a good laugh.”
“You make it sound like he wants you to fail.” Luke picked up my hat and beat it against his leg to knock off the grass and then put it on my head. “You know better. If you fail, the whole farm fails and one broken down tractor that we’ve owned since Granddaddy was running this place isn’t your fault. It’s poor management from the previous manager.” He glanced to the house like he hoped Daddy didn’t hear that last bit.
“It sure feels like it.” I straightened my hat and abandoned the tractor and my brother, who had decided to give her another try.
On my way back to the barn, I flagged Mason down. He drove his tractor up beside me and geared down so he could hear me.
“Tilly’s seen her last day. Help Luke tow her behind the barn, would you?”
He shook his head. “You better talk to Mama and Daddy. They might want her to rust out someplace else, and I don’t want to have to drag her anywhere once the grass grows up around her.” He considered the thing as if it were the family pet that needed a proper burial. My heart sank remembering Dozer, our beloved Blue Heeler. He’d passed in the spring and we’d yet to replace him despite my Dad’s pressure.
“It’s not like Dozer. She doesn’t need a gravesite. Park her behind the damned barn and let’s move on.” I walked away not in the mood to argue, but before I could get back to the office, he and Luke were shutting down the tractor and heading toward the house.
Their lack of listening to me chapped my ass, but I wasn’t going to bother losing my temper. The two were such Mama’s boys, and I didn’t have time for it. They’d probably end up performing a ceremony, and I wasn’t going to be a part of that either. I entered the barn and crossed it, headed for the office. There was supposed to have been some sort of update being performed, and I hoped to hell it was done already. I didn’t see how anyone could sit around wasting perfectly good time waiting on a machine.
I threw the door open and noticed the screen had gone dark. “What the hell?” I hurried over and tried to bring the thing to life, but it didn’t work. I tapped the mouse and pressed every button on the keyboard, but nothing happened. Usually, when it went dark, it didn’t take but a little attention to get it back on. I beat on the monitor. “Stupid piece of—”
“Why do you always have to hit things?” Her voice was like a warm bath to my ears, and I glanced around to see Lauralee standing in the door. “You’re going to break it.”
“I’m not trying to. It’s not responding.” I spun my chair and continued poking keys. I hated not knowing what the hell I was doing, and I felt like an idiot.
“Did you turn it on?” She crossed the room and leaned over my shoulder. Her hair smelled like honeysuckle and sunshine, and I wanted to run my fingers through it and forget the rest of my day and the fact that we were fighting. “There it is. Sometimes it shuts down. Next time, instead of hitting it, hit this button.” She was being sincere, but I felt stupid as she pointed to the power button.
“I didn’t turn it off. It was supposed to be updating some stuff and said it could take awhile. I left it alone, but—Why are you here?” I tried my best not to sound confrontational and considering the day I’d had, that wasn’t easy. I hoped she hadn’t come over to argue or worse, tell me something else I was doing wrong.
“I wanted to thank you for looking after Bailey. He told me about what happened.” She leaned back against the desk.
“He’s my friend, of course I’d look out for him. I’d expect the same from him.” It wasn’t the first time I’d brought him home, and I still hadn’t paid him back for the many times he’d done the same for me. But I didn’t think it was the time to point that out. “You didn’t have to come all the way over here for that.” I kept my tone light and hoped she had more to say.
“I guess I’m that transparent.” She raked her hands through her hair. “Look, I’d like to propose something. An arrangement, if you will?” She searched my eyes, and I nodded for her to continue.
“I’m listening.” I hoped it ended in the two of us naked, but I somehow doubted it.
“Well, it’s this. We need each other.” She looked toward the ceiling, and I slid my hand to hers, but she pulled away and plopped down in the extra chair. “What I mean is, you need me to work out the new system for you, and honestly, I want to work. I’ll have a much better chance of getting my dream farm if I have a steady income.”
I forced a straight face but wanted to smile. I had a feeling that would only piss her off because she’d think I was gloating. I nodded. “I could use some help for sure. I had no idea that you knew anything about this stuff.”
“That’s because you never asked. But I’m sorry I didn’t say something sooner. I assumed you had things under control and then by the time you mentioned it, we were fighting.” She kept her distance, but I wanted to roll my chair closer and kiss her. I was finally going to be able to get things working how I wanted. It would be a huge burden off my shoulders.
“It sounds great to me, but I was only planning on hiring someone temporarily.” If she tried to secure a job, she might need something a little more permanent.
“That’s fine. We’ll feel it out as we go.” Her shoulders slumped, and relief shone in her expression.
“You think we can do it? I mean, without fighting?”
Her face fell, and she rubbed the back of her neck. “There won’t be anything to fight about. Or, at least, there shouldn’t be.” Her brows wrinkled with worry and then she looked away again.
Shouldn’t be? This wasn’t how things usually worked between us, at least most of the time. We’d had our long time apart, but now that we were past that, I couldn’t see going back to it. I thought this would be like the other times, and we’d be back to our old selves. The pain in her eyes said otherwise. Panic sent me forward. I pulled my chair close to hers and pinned her in the corner against the desk. “What do you mean, shouldn’t be?” I leaned forward and kissed her cheek and she closed her eyes.
“Ted, I didn’t come over here for that. I think we need to keep things friendly. I mean, as friends.” My lips were on her neck, and she stumbled through her words. “We’ve never tried to be friends only.” She was breathless by the time I found her lips again, and her hand landed warm on my leg. The kiss deepened, and I pulled her closer, slipping my hand up to cup her breast through her shirt. Her breath hitched, and she put her hand up in my hair, but suddenly moved it to my chest where she pushed against me. “Please, Ted.”
I pulled away and met her eyes. There was no anger. She also didn’t seem to be breathing, and it made me wonder if she were afraid. I didn’t ever want her to fear me. I’d never lash out to harm her, but I guess my unchecked temper had done enough damage. “If that’s what you truly want.” I pulled away.
“I only thought we could help each other and be friends for a change. Maybe things won’t be so crazy, and we’ll get along better.” She rested her forehead on mine as the silence stretched out between us.
I wa
s such a fool agreeing when she was still so close, one hand on my thigh and the other on my shoulder, but I considered myself fortunate she’d come back. Even if it was for her benefit as well as my own. I wanted to slip my hands up under her bottom and lift her into my lap. I wanted to take her against the desk and kiss my way down her entire body and make her grip my hair and scream my name. I wanted to spin her around and take her from behind as I gripped her hair to arch her back. There were so many other things I wanted to do that a friends-only relationship would ruin, but I’d do this for her. For now.
She pulled back and dusted off her jeans as if doing so would wipe the slate clean. “When do you want me to start?”
“Now.” I grabbed hold of her chair, and as I wheeled myself back, I pulled her in front of the computer. “She’s all yours.”
“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” She looked as if I might bite, but then glanced back at the screen and put her fingers to work on the keyboard.
“I’m sure, and thanks for coming back. I need the help more than you know.” I needed her more than she’d ever know. More than for her computer skills, that was for sure. But I’d go along with this plan of hers with hopes that it would bring us closer and not push us further apart.
“I’m so excited. I honestly miss this kind of work. Daddy only pulls me in now and then to fix a problem, but he’s gotten the hang of it pretty good. Bailey is always messing things up and taking the long way around. It’s probably a good thing he didn’t get the job. That and his drinking problem.” She worked the keys over, and the screen changed multiple times so I stopped trying to pay attention. “Thanks again for last night. I’m sure you had a hard time not punching that idiot.”
I shifted in my seat at the mention of Tyler. The guy got in my craw, and I was trying to stay in a positive mood. “He’s lucky Kinsey stepped in. I would have mopped the floor with him for what he said.”
“Yeah, I heard about that too.” She made a sour face. “He seemed so nice.”