Mark nodded and mumbled, “Hello.” Jackson’s greeting was less of a garble, but he was still reserved. I realized I’d never really told Jackson much about my friendship with Mark, and I could see from the way he eyed him warily that, if he didn’t know him personally, he’d heard of him. Jackson didn’t seem to be judging Mark, though. It was more of a study, probably trying to reconcile what he’d heard with what he saw now.
I looked back at Mark, trying to see what Jackson saw, and I realized something was also different about his face. Tegan realized what it was first. “You took out your piercings!”
He’d also combed his hair neatly back away from his face, and it appeared that I wasn’t the only one who’d gotten a haircut over the holidays.
“Um, yeah,” Mark muttered, looking even more uncomfortable. “I thought I should be respectable and all that shit. Wouldn’t want to upset any of the uppity folks while they’re trying to eat their dinner.”
“What a pity,” I grinned. “They could probably all do with a bit of culture shock.”
Mark snorted. “I can always take off my jacket and roll back the sleeves of my shirt,” he offered.
I glanced at Jackson and his eyebrows drew together, and I could see that he didn’t understand, so I explained, “He has tattoo sleeves.”
“Oh,” Jackson grinned, “you should totally do that.”
Mark shrugged a shoulder. “Maybe.”
My parents came downstairs then. Dad looked stiff and suspicious as I introduced him to Jackson and Mark. To his credit, Dad didn’t say anything too terribly embarrassing, and I’d seen him act even more wooden to some of Skylar’s friends and boyfriends, so it could have been worse.
He kept eyeing them both, as if waiting to catch them doing something they shouldn’t. I realized that both Mark and Jackson outsized Dad in height by at least a few inches each. While Jackson’s height was less intimidating because he was leaner with broad shoulders, Mark was both tall and robust, and I knew from firsthand experience that his size was a bit startling at first.
I could just see the wheels turning in Dad’s head as he tried to work out how I’d ever become friends with someone like Mark while he kept looking at Jackson, as if waiting for him to grope me or something.
Mom, on the other hand, was kind and friendly. She was also a bit embarrassing as she went on and on about how much she’d heard about both of them and how happy she was to meet them. It was a bit of a stretch. I’d never really told her anything about Mark, and most of what she knew about Jackson came from Dad’s quiz a few nights earlier.
For everyone’s sake, I suggested we ride separately. Dad seemed somewhat stoic at the thought, but Mom thought it was a great idea. “Just follow us,” she said, looking from Jackson to Mark, unsure who would be driving.
Jackson and Mark eyed each other before Jackson finally offered, “We can take my car.”
Mark nodded, and, despite Dad’s car being parked in the garage and more easily accessed from the doorway through the utility room, we followed my parents out the front door. It made sense, though, when I saw Dad eyeing Jackson’s Camaro under the glow of the streetlight.
“I think my dad has a crush on your car,” I confessed to Jackson as he held the driver’s seat forward, so I could climb into the backseat. Tegan was getting into the back through the passenger’s side. I’d offered to let Mark sit up front, knowing it would be too cramped in the backseat for his long legs.
“What?” Jackson laughed at my comment.
I waved him off, assuring him I’d explain later.
The drive was pretty quiet as Jackson followed behind Dad’s Volvo to the country club. Tegan and I made a few comments, but for the most part we all seemed to be at a loss for words. I hoped Dad hadn’t scared Mark and Jackson or made them feel too uncomfortable with his guarded looks. I knew from personal experience he had a way of being intimidating without saying a word.
At the country club, things didn’t improve much at first. Once we were seated at our reserved table, everyone was pretty quiet. Mom and Dad greeted and chatted with a few people, but it wasn’t until Mark asked Jackson about his car that things really picked up. Tegan and I didn’t understand most of what they were talking about. One look at Mom, and I could tell she was just as clueless.
Dad, on the other hand, just listened at first, but I could tell that Jackson’s knowledge of cars was even more impressive hearing it from him. Finally, Dad insinuated himself into the conversation. Both Jackson and Mark were reserved at first, but once Dad loosened up a bit, they did too.
The more I heard about spark plugs and engines the more numb my brain began to feel.
“How soon can we eat?” I asked Mom, hoping that the appearance of food would turn conversation to something new and unrelated to cars.
“Soon,” she said, glancing around, her brows drawing together. “I hope, anyway,” she added in a hushed tone, eyeing Dad, Jackson and Mark.
It was a funny sort of relief to find that I wasn’t the only one who didn’t want to hear about cars all evening. Tegan and I talked absently, only half listening to the guys’ conversation, and Mom asked a few school related questions, but finally, mercifully, the food arrived.
Dinner was painful. The lively chat about cars had tapered off, and conversation was forced and unnatural yet again. Even I didn’t know what to say, and, considering I was often prone to speaking without thinking first, that was saying something.
The food wasn’t that great either. The chicken was dry and the vegetables were limp and overcooked. Tegan and I shared a look, and I could tell she wasn’t impressed either. I kept thinking even Mom probably could have done better, but I was able to bite my tongue to keep from saying so out loud.
Dad, Jackson and Mark ate up all of their food. I mostly pushed mine around the plate, trying to make it look like I’d eaten more than I had. Mark noticed and asked, “Aren’t you going to eat that?”
I shook my head and offered him my plate. He took the piece of chicken and tucked in as if he hadn’t eaten in days. I noticed Mom watching him worriedly, but when she caught me looking, she turned her attention back to her own food.
When the wait staff came around to collect the plates, though, she asked for a couple of boxes and put her nearly untouched piece of chicken inside and Tegan offered hers as well. I suspected before he left for the evening, that box would be in Mark’s possession, and Mom’s kindness warmed my heart.
Once the wait staff had cleared all of the tables, everyone disbursed to mingle. There was supposed to be a live band in the ballroom to sing us into the New Year, but I didn’t hold out hope that they would be playing any kind of music I’d want to hear.
“Why don’t we give Jackson and Mark the grand tour?” Tegan suggested.
While I didn’t think there was much to see, Mark and Jackson seemed game, probably wanting to get away from all of the stuffy adults, so I agreed. At the very least, it would be a good way to kill time.
Since they’d already seen the entry hall and the dining room, we stopped by the ballroom briefly. The entertainment wasn’t so bad after all. There was a woman crooning a Billie Holiday tune, but we didn’t linger because most everyone had migrated into the room.
I showed them the indoor pool and tennis court. There were a couple of sitting rooms and a bar lounge, where we weren’t allowed inside, but it was plain to see that plenty of the gentlemen had made a beeline for the bar after dinner.
I saved my favorite room for last: the solarium. When I was forced to dress up nicely and come along with my parents, this was the room where I usually found myself. During the day, I’d read as the sun shone through the round glass ceiling, and at night I’d stare up into the dark sky. It was perfect for stargazing, and I could spend hours doing just that when I was there.
“This is the best room in the place,” I said as I walked over to the lounge chairs and started pulling one off the stack.
“Here, let me get that,” Jack
son offered, noting my struggle to get a good hold on the large chair.
He was by my side in only a couple of strides. He lifted the chair easily from the top and sat it down before taking another off the stack. I scooted the first chair over several feet, making room for the others, as Mark and Tegan came to collect the chairs Jackson had already taken down. Once there were four chairs, we arranged ourselves with Mark at the end with Tegan beside him while I was situated between Tegan and Jackson.
“This place is pretty cool,” Mark admitted somewhat reluctantly.
“Yeah,” Jackson agreed, “it’s relaxing.”
“It’s breathtaking,” Tegan murmured.
I glanced at Tegan, realizing her eyes were on the night sky above, and smiled, silently agreeing.
“Really breathtaking,” Jackson whispered.
I turned my head to the other side, expecting to find him staring at the sky as well, but, instead, his eyes were on me. My stomach fluttered and my face flushed as he winked at me before turning to look up into the sky.
After a prolonged silence, Tegan asked, “How was everyone’s Christmas?”
Jackson launched into a story about Jordan trying to spike the eggnog on Christmas Eve and spending of all of Christmas Day trying to embarrass him in front of me. Tegan’s Christmas had been fairly tame but enjoyable, bad traffic aside, and Mark merely grunted that his was okay. I suspected “okay” was probably sugarcoating it, but I didn’t want to press. Instead, I told them about surviving the cinnamon scented circle of hell.
We talked a little about gifts, and everyone got a good laugh out of what I thought of as my “Weasley sweater.” As we all started to loosen up, conversation flowed more easily and naturally. There was an occasional silence, but instead of feeling awkward and stifled, it was comfortable.
As I gazed up at the stars, I felt so blessed to be there with my friends. As much as I loved Tegan, it was nice to have a wider circle of people in my life. Tegan would always be my number one. Best friends like her were hard to find, and I never wanted to lose that, but the additions of Mark and Jackson in my life were a welcome change.
I couldn’t think of three people I’d rather be with as one year ended and opened into another. It just felt so right, and while the evening hadn’t been particularly perfect, it had still been a good one.
Watching the stars, twinkling above and going on and on into infinity, I thought I understood how Charlie felt in The Perks of Being A Wallflower when he talked about feeling infinite in a particular scene in the book.
I’d heard people complain that “infinite” wasn’t a feeling, but I couldn’t think of a better way to describe the full happiness that seemed embedded in every cell of my body. It was a fullness that I was sure, even years from now when I was old and gray with grandchildren, I would never forget.
The simplicity of the moment only seemed to add to the sweetness. I closed my eyes, trying to visually cement it in my memory. The feeling was imprinted in my mind, and I wanted the mental picture to go along with it.
Jackson’s voice drew me out of my reverie. “You aren’t falling asleep on us, are you?”
Opening my eyes, I turned to him and smiled. “No, just enjoying the moment.”
He grinned back and reached over to take my hand. He twined his fingers with mine and squeezed, staring into my eyes for a moment, before he turned his attention back to the stars. I watched him for another moment, committing the beauty of Jackson in the moonlight to memory, before I did the same.
Oblivious to the moment Jackson and I had just shared, Tegan asked, “Do any of you have New Year’s resolutions?”
I didn’t mind the interruption, though. I turned to Tegan. “You know I never keep mine.”
“So? It doesn’t stop you from making them,” she pointed out.
“Fair enough,” I conceded. “What’s yours?”
“The usual,” she shrugged. “To not be such a lazy bum and help around the house more. To make honor roll and to grow my hair out long enough to donate it to Locks of Love.”
“Such a good-doer,” Mark scoffed.
“Yeah, and?” she smirked, turning to him. “Is that a problem?”
Mark held up his big hands and shrugged.
“What’s your resolution?” Tegan demanded of him.
“Hell, I don’t know,” he sighed. “Quit smoking, maybe. But I’ve been saying that for years, so I’m not sure it counts.”
“It counts,” I assured him. After all, most of my resolutions were repeats from previous years as well. I thought maybe I should make a bucket list of things I’d like to do, but I wasn’t sure I’d ever actually follow through on making the list or doing the items on it.
“Try using NicoDerm CQ,” Jackson suggested. “That’s what I’m using.”
I turned back to Jackson. “How’s that going, by the way?”
“So far, so good but what’s left of my fingernails may not agree.”
“Your fingernails will grow back.”
“And my lungs won’t,” he said. I was shocked to realize he’d finished my unspoken thought.
Tegan leaned forward a bit to see around me as she spoke to Jackson. “If you’ve already quit smoking, what’s your resolution?”
Jackson shrugged. “Stop procrastinating and keep my grades up, I guess.”
“Me too about the grades,” I commented.
“Is that all for you, Sil?” Tegan sounded mildly surprised.
“For now,” I nodded. “Keeping my grades up is a big enough challenge since Miss Barkley has it out for me.”
“That bitch has it out for everyone,” Mark snorted.
“Yeah, but I bet she didn’t hear your ignorant brother call her inflammatory names,” I pointed out.
Of course Mark wanted to know. “What did he call her?”
“A dyke,” I admitted. I felt bad even repeating the word aloud. “Which is stupid because whether or not she’s a lesbian has no bearing on her teaching or grading attitude, I’m sure.”
“True,” Mark conceded, which was somewhat surprising. Living in a more rural area, it sometimes felt like most everyone was ass backwards when it came to race or sexuality. “But, if I had a brother, he’d probably say something far worse about Miss Barkley to her face.”
We were all quiet as I considered that, but when Jackson tugged at our still intertwined hands, I rolled my head to the side to find him grinning. “Yes?” I whispered.
“Let’s go for a walk,” he suggested. “Just you and I.”
That sounded nice, so I nodded in agreement.
As we stood, I told Mark and Tegan we’d be back in a few minutes. Tegan looked somewhat unsure as she glanced between Mark and me, but as Jackson tugged my hand and led me toward the door, Mark whistled and turned to Tegan and whispered something about “scoring” that had Tegan laughing as Jackson and I left the room.
My face flamed at the implications, but if Jackson had heard, he didn’t let it show.
Once we were partway down the hallway, Jackson finally spoke. “How did you ever manage to become friends with Mark Moses?” He sounded both amused and mystified.
“I’m still trying to figure that out,” I confessed with a shrug. “But he’s really not so bad once you get to know him.”
“I’m starting to see that,” Jackson admitted.
“I don’t know for sure,” I said thoughtfully, “but I think things at home probably have a lot to do with the way he is at school.”
Jackson considered that as we walked along the winding hallways. “You’re probably right,” he finally said. “He was in my fifth grade class, and his dad showed up to the Christmas play drunk. They had to escort him out.”
“Oh, God,” I gasped, “how awful.”
Jackson nodded wordlessly as we continued walking. When we reached the set of stairs that led into the pool area, Jackson pulled me over to sit on the steps. It was quiet for a few beats before Jackson said, “I’m glad you invited me to come toni
ght.”
“I’m glad you came.”
“I don’t think your dad likes me much, though,” Jackson muttered, studying our linked fingers.
I made a disgusted sound. “That’s kind of Skylar’s fault.”
“How’s that?” Jackson looked like he was already considering how he was supposed to take out his revenge without harming a girl.
“Tuesday at my grandparents’ house, she announced in front of most of my family that I had a boyfriend,” I blushed. I watched Jackson out of the corner of my eye, but he didn’t react in any noticeable way to the title, so I pressed on.
“My dad kind of freaked. I’ve never dated or had a boyfriend before,” I admitted. “I tried to explain to him that we weren’t, like, officially together.” By the time I’d finished speaking, my words were little more than a whisper due to my uncertainty. I hadn’t expected this conversation to head in this direction.
Jackson’s eyebrows lifted. “Why would you tell him that?”
“Honestly?” I bit my lip, and Jackson nodded. “Because I wasn’t sure if we were. A couple, I mean.”
Jackson grinned, which only served to make me feel more embarrassed. “Why aren’t you sure?”
I knew he was teasing, but my face still felt like it was on fire. I stared down at our hands as I spoke, “I don’t know. I’ve never done this before.” I shrugged. “I thought you had to ask me or we had to make some sort of spoken agreement.”
I ventured a look at Jackson and found him smiling beatifically at me. “Okay,” he said, sounding more confident than I’d ever heard him. “Let’s clear up the confusion.”
I stared at him expectantly, and his smile softened and his voice quieted. “Silly, will you be my girlfriend?”
My face split in what I was sure was a goofy grin as I turned to look at him fully. “Yes!” I blurted. I flushed at my eagerness and covered my face with my free hand. I took a deep breath before lowering my hand and looking at Jackson again. This time my answer was—still happy, but—much more subdued. “I mean, yes, I will be your girlfriend.”
Infinite (Strange and Beautiful, Book 1) Page 39