Broken and Beautiful

by Ryan, Kendall

  “Yes!” He nods excitedly and zips his backpack. “Deal! I promise.”

  Instead of following the school traffic like everyone else, I turn my truck down a sideroad and head toward Patty’s. Since school just let out, there’s only a few cars in the parking lot when we arrive.

  “Is he here?”

  Benny leans forward to get a look at the cars parked out front of the small building. “Nope! His mom drives a red van. Yes! I can’t believe we beat Wes.” He celebrates his way out the door by doing some dance I’ve never seen, before rushing for the glass door.

  I jump out of the truck and jog over to open it for Benny and he quickly runs inside. My heart fills with joy to see the excitement in his eyes when he steps into the little ice cream shop and looks around at all of the different flavors and toppings.

  “Whoa! This place has more flavors than I’ve seen in my entire life. This is crazy! Look!” His eyes go big when he takes in the buffet of toppings. “They have everything! They even have brownie pieces.”

  “My favorite, little man.” I nod at the counter when the girl greets him. “Tell the lady what flavor you want and then add as many toppings as you’d like. There’s no limit today.”

  “As many as I want? For real?”

  “That’s what I said. Pile it up, little man.”

  It takes him a few minutes to fully top his sundae since there’s so many choices, but we eventually make it to the table, and right as Benny takes his first bite the door opens to an excited little blond kid and his mom stepping inside.

  The kid’s face scrunches up with disappointment when he sees Benny holding up his tower of ice cream with a satisfied smile. “Hey, Wes. You’ve gotta try the ice cream here! It’s sooooooo good. Oh, but I took the last of the brownie pieces. I hope you didn’t want any.”

  Wes’ face turns red and he turns away without saying a word.

  Sorry kid. You can’t always get what you want. I learned that shit a long time ago.

  Not even minutes later, the little shop fills up with parents treating their kids to ice cream. There are a few kids I recognize from Benny’s sixth-grade class, but he’s too focused on his desert to pay attention.

  I let him enjoy his treat, waiting until he pushes the bowl away before talking. “All right, buddy, so how was school today?”

  He shrugs and leans back in the booth. “It was okay, I guess. Nothing exciting happened. My teacher was really grumpy today and didn’t talk much. He’s usually pretty cool.”

  “Your teacher is Mr. Davis, right? The guy that always wears slacks and khakis?”

  “Yeah. And those dorky brown shoes that we all laugh at.” He snickers before taking another bite of his ice cream. “I’m sooo stuffed. I don’t think I can finish it.”

  “I can see why. It was practically topped off with five pounds of candy.” I grab a napkin and toss it to him, laughing at the chocolate mess covering his face. “Clean up and we’ll go to the park while you do your homework.”

  “Cool! Can we play basketball when I’m done? Please!”

  I stand to collect his garbage. “If you promise to let me win this time.”

  “I can’t just let you win, Jensen! You have to earn it, remember?”

  “Then no.” I try to suppress a smile when his head jerks in my direction as if he thinks I’m being serious. “Kidding. Let’s go. I’ll drive.”

  He laughs and shakes his head, before rushing out the door. This kid is the only thing that makes me happy in life, and I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure that smile never leaves his face.

  “Hi there.” I look away from tossing Benny’s trash away to see Wes’ mom eyeing me over. Just like her son, she gives off that ‘I always get what I want’ vibe. She smiles and holds her manicured hand out. “I’m Claire Anderson. And you are?”

  “Jensen Blake.” I give her hand a quick shake and nod toward the door. “And I’ve got something important to do. Hope your kid enjoys his ice cream.” I smile big and begin backing up. “Maybe next time there will be some brownies left for him to enjoy. Sorry about that.”

  She gives me a shocked expression, as if she’s surprised that I’m not interested in what we both know she really came over here for. I guess it’s never too late for her to learn the same lesson her son did today.

  It doesn’t take long for Benny to finish his homework, and afterward, we spend a good hour playing basketball. I do everything I can to make our entire time together about him, but once we make it back to my truck, I can’t help but to ask about douchebag Douglas.

  “So…” I start the truck and look his direction as he tilts back some water. “Is your teacher dating another teacher at your school?”

  He nods and places the water bottle down beside him. “There’s this teacher across the school that teaches the fourth-graders. I guess she’s his girlfriend. That’s what everyone says at least.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  He shrugs. “I haven’t seen her in the halls like we usually do. Maybe she’s mad at him because his shoes are ugly.”

  We both laugh as I shift my truck into drive. “Maybe she is, little man. No one likes people that wear ugly shoes. Why do you think mine are always so cool?”

  “Because you’re the coolest person I know! I want to be like you someday when I grow up.”

  I don’t think so kid.

  Once we pull up at his Grams’ house, we sit outside for a while and talk. We do this every week, and it’s not something I’m willing to give up, even though my phone has been going off the entire time. Everything else can and will wait.

  “…no way!” he screams excitedly at the mention of the adventure park in the next town over. “Can we go there next week? I’ve been waiting for them to get new games and laser tag. Please. Can we?”

  “We’ll see what your grades tell me. Got it? You put a hundred percent into your school work at all times and listen to your grams. Always. Can you make me that promise?”

  “I can try.”

  “Don’t try, Benny. Do. Because you have the power to make it happen. Never forget that.” I grab his head and kiss the top of it. “Your Grams is at the door waiting for you to eat dinner. I’ll see you soon, all right?”

  “All right, Jensen. Thanks for today. I had a lot of fun.”

  “Me too. I should be thanking you.” I nod toward the house. “Now go eat some vegetables. They’re better for you than ice cream.”

  He makes a gagging noise before climbing out of the truck and walking to his Grams. She offers me a smile and a wave and I return the gesture before driving off.

  It doesn’t take long before the emptiness I’m used to consumes me. So I do what I do best and throw myself into work. And the whole time that I’m at the house working on renovations, I find myself wondering if anyone at the school knows what Douchebag Khakis did to Cami.

  As far as everyone knows they’re still dating according to Benny. I’m not sure why, but I don’t like the idea of that.

  Deciding to take a break, I step out front into the dark night and light up a cigarette. I don’t even hear anyone approaching until Cami is standing right in front of me with an envelope.

  “Here.” She holds it out to me.

  “What’s this?” I exhale, my eyes meeting hers.

  “First month’s rent and deposit. I forgot to give it to you yesterday.” She shoves it into my chest and I grab it. “Take it.”

  I take another drag and watch as Cami walks through the grass, barefoot. “You look hot-as-fuck right now,” my lack-of-filter mouth says before I can stop it.

  She stops and turns around, narrowing her eyes at me. “I don’t know how you manage to always sound so damn gentleman-like. Must be a talent you naturally possess. Goodnight, Jensen.”

  “There are lots of talents I naturally possess, Cami. You already discovered one. There’s a whole lot fucking more where that came from.” I toss my cigarette down. “Goodnight, Cami. See you tomorrow. Five p.m. Don’t
be late.”

  I walk inside before my mouth can get me into any more trouble. Truth is, it’s late, and I’m exhausted. The last thing I should be doing is any kind of socializing no matter how brief it is.

  After cleaning up a counter full of empty beer bottles, I head home and take a long, hot shower to clear my thoughts.

  The pounding in my head has me searching through the medicine cabinet for some painkillers, but what I end up finding is an old medicine bottle that has me throwing my fist through the mirror.

  “Fuck!” Blood drips over my knuckles and onto the sink and floor as I reach behind me for a hand towel to wrap my fist in.

  I don’t bother cleaning up the blood. Instead, I find myself in the kitchen, drowning myself in a bottle of whiskey until I black the fuck out.

  Cami

  Jensen made it clear last night that I was to be at the house by five today and no later, but after the crap day I had at work, seeing him is the last thing I want or need.

  “I can’t believe Susan had the balls to come to your classroom and ask to speak to you in the hallway. That’s just…” Veronica stops to take a sip of her wine, as if she needs it just as much as I need mine right now. “Insane. It’s fucking insane. I would’ve cunt punched that slut so hard.”

  “Oh, I considered it, trust me.” I wave my hand as our waitress walks by. “Another round, please.” I finish off the last of my wine before setting the empty glass on the table. “She ‘apologized’, telling me she shouldn’t have gone for Douglas, but after having feelings for him for so long, spanning before I came along, she had a moment of weakness when the opportunity arose. But that’s not even the best part. Just wait.”

  I pay for the round of drinks the waitress drops off and offer her a weak smile, before diving into my fresh glass of wine.

  “Holy shit. There’s more? I’m going to need this. Hold up.” She holds her finger up, while taking a long drink of her wine. “Okay. Go.”

  I exhale and look down at my phone to see that it’s half past seven. “She asked me if I was dating Jensen.”

  “What!”

  “Yup. Can you believe it?”

  “And your answer was?” Veronica pushes.

  I swallow and set my wine glass down.

  “Well? What did you tell her?”

  I’m back to hating myself as I answer her. “I told her yes. Shit! What was I thinking?”

  “Whoa!” She shrieks. “I can’t believe you told her yes.”

  “I was embarrassed that my boyfriend wanted her and I just said the first thing that popped in my head. It was as if I needed her to see that someone else finds me attractive. Someone that she wanted and never got. I wanted to get back at her. To prove that she didn’t win. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. I messed up big time.”

  “I’m speechless, Cami.” She smiles above her glass. “Are you going to tell Jensen that you guys are ‘dating’?”

  “No!” I shout a bit too frantically. “No. He never has to know. It’s not like I’m ever going to see Susan or Douglas outside of the school anyway. They both live thirty minutes away. I doubt they hang out here. At least I know Douglas doesn’t. Let’s just hope he doesn’t start.”

  “Speaking of Jensen… weren’t you supposed to work on the house with him today?”

  I nod, while sipping my wine. “According to him, yes. But after the lie I told today, I really don’t want to see him right now. I need a day or two, or three. We’ll see.”

  “I think that’s going to be a problem,” she says nervously. “He just walked through the door.”

  My heart drops to my stomach as I quickly turn around to see Jensen grabbing a beer from the bartender. He places the bottle to his lips and looks around the room, his eyes landing on me before I can pull mine away.

  “Why did we choose this place of all places?” I mutter once turning around to look at my best friend. “We should go. Come on.” I stand up and search in my purse for money, but just as I’m about to throw it down on the table, a twenty lands in front of me.

  “Get lost?” Jensen’s deep voice questions. “Because I was pretty positive a teacher would be capable of finding her way to the house next door.”

  My stupid heart slams against my ribcage when I bring my eyes up to meet Jensen’s icy blue ones. He needs to work on not being so incredibly gorgeous when I’m supposed to not want to see him. Ugh! “How did you know I was here? Who’s the stalker now?” I mumble.

  “Does it really matter?” he questions harshly. “What matters is that you were supposed to meet me almost three hours ago and patience is something I don’t naturally possess.”

  “I’m going to um… get another round of drinks?” Veronica questions, standing up.

  “No.”

  “Yes.” Jensen chimes in. “Tell Rachel to put it on my tab.”

  “Seriously!” I look up at Jensen, my anger flaring. “What makes you think I want to sit here and drink with you? Did you not see we were just leaving?”

  “What for?” he questions. “I’m the only person you’re supposed to meet, and since I’m fucking here instead of where you were supposed to meet me, we might as well enjoy a drink together.”

  Huffing, I return to my seat and slam my purse down on the booth beside me. “One drink and we’re done.”

  “Why?” he questions with a smile. “Are you ashamed to be seen with me in public? It’s probably something you should do since we’re dating and all.”

  My jaw drops open before I can stop it. “How did… who told you that?”

  “You tell me, Cami.” He brings the beer bottle to his lips and looks down at me, waiting for an answer. The look in his icy blues give me the chills.

  “It was a mistake. I hate her. We all say things we don’t mean when faced with someone we dislike. I wish I could take it back. So do me a favor and let’s both forget it ever happened.”

  He shakes his head and sits down beside me. “I can’t do that.”

  “Why?” I question, annoyed.

  He nods toward the bar. “You see that pretty bartender up there?”

  I shrug and sip my wine, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of me answering.

  “She’s Susan’s sister. You definitely picked the wrong place to come tonight.”

  My face heats with embarrassment when I look over my shoulder to see the bartender looking our way, as if she’s trying to determine if we’re really together.

  What I’m trying to figure out is whether I’ll look like a fool more if I confess and come clean or wait a few days and stage a breakup because Jensen is a complete asshole.

  “Do you really want her running back to her big sister with gossip that you’re so single and desperate you lied not to look pathetic? I’m going to guess not.”

  “Screw you,” I spit out.

  “Maybe later,” he says with a wink.

  “All right, well, that bartender sure was talkative,” Veronica says, taking a seat. “She kept asking me about the two of you. I didn’t know what to say.”

  “You should’ve told her that once we leave here I’m taking Cami back to the rental and fucking her so hard she’ll hear her screams from behind the bar.”

  “No.” I growl. “What you should’ve told her is that Jensen is a huge asshole with an ego the size of Texas and he will not be taking me anywhere tonight or ever.”

  Jensen lifts a brow and tilts back his beer. I’m sure he has something smartass to say, but for some reason he decides to keep it to himself. For now, at least.

  That’s one thing I’m thankful for today.

  “Oh crap!” Veronica looks up from her phone and stands. “I forgot about the casserole I put in the oven before we left. I should’ve taken it out twenty minutes ago. Peter has been waiting on us to eat.”

  “I forgot about it too.” I stand and get ready to grab my purse, but Jensen grabs my waist and pulls me into him.

  “Don’t you think Rachel would find it suspicious if
you left the moment I sat down? Stay and finish your drink and then I’ll drive you home.”

  I sit back down and exhale, realizing he’s right. “I’ll be home in twenty minutes. Maybe sooner. Save me some?”

  “You know I will. Good luck,” she says on a smile. “Try not to kill each other.”

  “I can’t make any promises,” I mutter. “But I’ll do my best to keep my hands away from his throat.”

  “You like it kinky too, I see. This should be a fun night.”

  “That’s not how I meant… you know what? Never mind. Let’s get this drink over with.” I look back to Veronica, who is watching us with amusement. “See you soon.”

  “All right, babe.”

  Things become awkward the moment we’re alone. I’m hoping with everything in me Jensen will remain quiet and let us enjoy the rest of our drinks in peace.

  “Why did you lie to Susan? I thought you didn’t want Ugly Shoes to think we’re dating.”

  So much for that hope.

  “Ugly Shoes?” I ask, confused.

  “Never mind.” He plays with the label on his bottle. “Douglas.”

  “I didn’t. I mean I don’t. But…”

  “But what?” he pushes.

  “Susan,” I grit out, squeezing my wine glass, wishing it was her face. “She pushes me. I didn’t mean for it to come out. It just did. Like I said, it was a mistake. I’m not proud of it.”

  “I get it,” he says, before ordering another round of drinks that I gladly accept, because I’m pissed at my thoughts and need an escape. “I’m sexy as fuck and you want to look good to the woman that grabbed Khaki Boy’s attention, right?”

  “No!” I blurt, causing Rachel to look our way. “You’re such an idiot,” I say, quieter this time. “Just drop it.”

  “Sure. Whatever you say.”

  “Why are you such an asshole?” I question, sitting up straight. “What made you treat others this way?”

  “Who said anything made me this way?” he responds, his jaw tight. “Maybe I was born an asshole.”