Broken and Beautiful

by Ryan, Kendall

  I should ask what people are going to think of him leaving the women’s restroom without a shirt, but we both know what we’ve been doing in here for the last half hour or so is no secret.

  Jensen Blake—the asshole landlord—just fucked me into oblivion for the whole bar to hear.

  My eyes scan his hard, sweaty chest as I adjust my panties and dress. “I can’t believe we just did that.”

  “Well you better believe it, Cami, because it just happened. Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

  He surprises me by grabbing my hand and pulls me toward the door. My heart jumps when he opens it to a line of girls waiting to use the bathroom. Apparently, some of the banging I heard was knocks on the door and not Jensen knocking me into the door.

  No one says anything, but from the way every single girl in line eyes his shirtless and sweaty body over, I can imagine they’re all picturing him between their legs, and I hate it.

  Eyes land on us as we make our way through the crowd to get to the door. I expected Jensen to release my hand, but he doesn’t until we’re outside in front of his truck.

  “Get in. I’m taking you home.”

  I swallow and climb inside, slamming the door shut behind me. We don’t speak the entire drive back to Veronica’s house, but I can feel his eyes on me every few minutes, and sadly, it makes me hot and needy all over again, as if he wasn’t just inside of me.

  That’s exactly why the moment the truck comes to a stop, I jump out and head toward Veronica’s in a hurry. “Thanks for the ride,” I say, not stopping to look back.

  “Anytime,” I hear behind my back, before he lights up a cigarette, most likely watching me like he always does.

  Once I’m alone in the guest room, I fall back on the bed and close my eyes, replaying every last detail of Jensen inside me.

  Not only that, but every last detail of the way he kissed me and how it felt when he did.

  That’s what I was expecting the least.

  Jensen

  My head has been fucked all day with thoughts of Cami. There were three mistakes I made last night with her in the heat of the moment. The first—I kissed her. The second—I came inside of her. The third, and biggest one of them all, is when I fucking called her mine.

  I haven’t made those mistakes in a long time, and I can’t begin to figure out what made me slip up when it came to the sassy-mouthed teacher who hates my fucking guts. She was there and I needed an escape. Something deep to get me out of my head after seeing Lucas. That’s the only logical reason I can come up with. Nothing else makes sense. Not a damn thing.

  “Fuck!” I send Cami a text and toss my phone down on the kitchen island. I’ve been here for over an hour and I know damn well that she knows I’m here. There’s no way she didn’t hear my motorcycle pull up. There’s work to be done and I don’t let personal shit get in the way of work. Ever.

  Thirty minutes gone and still no Cami, it becomes obvious she’s not going to show up, so I’m surprised when the front door opens to her looking down at me on my knees as I paint around the fireplace.

  “Look who finally showed up.” I stand and run a hand through my hair, trying my damnedest not to get hard at the sight of her in those skintight jeans and little tank top. “Pick up a paintbrush. You can start on the other side of the room.” My words are stiff, because I don’t want her to get the wrong idea about last night. I can’t have that. It won’t end well.

  She swallows when her eyes land on the bulge beneath my jeans and I can tell she’s still thinking about last night. That’s what I wanted, right? For her to think about me inside of her. But then I had to fuck up and call her mine. “I think I’d rather start on the master bedroom where there’s no one giving me attitude every five seconds.”

  She goes to walk away and I grab her arm, stopping her. “Not happening.”

  She lets out a humorless laugh and pins me with a hard stare. “Why not? We both know it’s best if we don’t spend too much time in the same room. Nothing good ever happens.”

  “Is that right?” I step up to her and her eyes skim over my busted lip before moving up to meet mine. “Nothing good happened last night then?” I grab the back of her neck and yank her to me so our lips brush together. “It sure as fuck sounded like it was good when you were screaming my name for the whole damn bar to hear.”

  “Fuck you,” she bites out, yanking my arm from her neck. Her chest is moving fast, showing just how worked up she is.

  “Already did.” I point out. “Twice. And if you keep running that sassy mouth of yours it’s about to be a third time.”

  “Ha!” She crosses her arms and narrows her eyes at me. “You’re crazy if you think I’ll make the same mistake a third time. I will never let you fuck me again and I sure as hell won’t let you kiss me again. Ever.”

  Everything coming out of her mouth pisses me off. Before I know what I’m doing, I yank her to me and kiss her hard on the lips, shutting her the hell up. I dig my fingers into her hip and squeeze as I bite her bottom lip, wanting her to feel my anger.

  She lets out a moan, getting lost in my kiss for a brief moment, before she pushes me away and slaps me hard across the face. She can barely catch her breath enough to speak. “Don’t ever do that again. Got it?”

  I smile and lick the taste of her from my lips. She tastes of wine, and I have no doubt she had to down a glass or two before coming over here.

  Maybe I should’ve downed a few shots myself.

  “I can’t believe you, Jensen.” Her anger is growing by the second as she struggles with wiping the taste of me from her lips.

  Good luck, sweetie. It’s not that easy to erase me.

  “Ugh! You… you. I just can’t with you!” She bursts with anger. “You had no right to kiss me again. Especially after I told you not to.”

  “Why do you think I did?” I move back into her space, causing her nostrils to flare in anger as I look down at her. “Don’t tell me what I can’t do, because I’ll only prove that I can, Cami. You’re not the only one that teaches lessons.”

  Her eyes widen, as if she’s surprised by what just came out of my mouth. “Why are you such a dick, Jensen? Who screwed you over? Huh?” She shoves me out of her face and gets in mine, backing me against the wall. “You may fuck like a God, but you’re a miserable son of a bitch. Either you screwed someone over or you got screwed. It would explain why that guy punched you last night and you did nothing. You took it. Why?”

  I flex my jaw, fighting to push back my anger. “It’s none of your goddamn business, Cami. You won’t get an answer.”

  “That’s a big surprise.” She backs away from me and walks away to grab a paintbrush. “Let’s just get this over with, so we can get out of each other’s hair. Okay?”

  Walking past her, I grab a beer from the fridge and unscrew the top, tossing it into the trash. She watches me tilt the bottle back, and I can’t figure out if she wants to slap me again or fuck me again. I’d let her do both right now to be honest.

  “Fine. Help me finish the living room,” I say, brushing past her to pick up my paintbrush and get back to work. “I’ll finish the rest and you can start moving in on Friday.”

  “And the master bedroom?” she questions, sounding a bit relieved.

  “It’s already done. I painted it the last time you didn’t show up to help.”

  She doesn’t have a comeback to that. Good. Because I can’t take another peep from her mouth right now without needing to fuck my anger out and teach her another lesson.

  * * *

  Cami

  I was surprised when Jensen said painting the living room was the last thing I needed to help him with. A part of me was relieved, while another smaller part—the irrational part—was disappointed that we won’t have a reason to be alone anymore.

  It’s ridiculous. When I’m with him, I can’t stand the guy. But when I’m not, he’s all I can think about.

  “Hey, babe.” Veronica plops down on the couch beside
me and reaches for the TV remote since I’ve basically been staring at the Netflix home screen. “How was your day?”

  “Do you really want to know?” I exhale and sit up straight when she nods. “Well, the good news is that I haven’t heard from Douglas today. That’s pretty much the only good thing about today. Jensen is…” I huff, getting frustrated at the mention of him. “He’s incredibly infuriating and I’m so glad the place is almost ready for me to move into. I’m not sure how much more of him I can take.”

  “That’s strange.” She smiles, as if she knows something I don’t. “You didn’t seem affected one bit at the mention of Douglas, but as soon as you brought up Jensen this fire lit in your eyes. Even if it wasn’t a good flame, it was still a flame. That’s more passion than I’ve ever noticed with Douglas.”

  “What!” I let out a nervous laugh, suddenly getting a bit uncomfortable. “That’s ridiculous, Veronica. There’s a difference between passion and hatred.”

  “Is there, Cami? Because I think the lines are blurring when it comes to your new landlord. But hey… what do I know?”

  I swallow and snatch the remote from her hand, needing desperately to change the subject. “Shameless it is.”

  She smiles and shakes her head. “If you say so, Cami. I’ll start the popcorn.”

  “Thanks,” I breathe out, relieved that she doesn’t push the subject of Jensen anymore. “Sounds like a good plan.”

  We watch two episodes of Shameless before Veronica retires to the bedroom to spend time with Peter. It’s only eight and I’m not even close to being tired, so I think I’ll sit outside on the back porch for a while and enjoy some fresh air.

  It’s peaceful out here. Peaceful is something I need after the crap day I had.

  “Lucas.” Jensen’s deep voice says out of nowhere, causing me to open my eyes. He’s standing in the dark smoking a cigarette. His eyes are trained on me as he exhales a cloud of smoke. “That’s the guy that punched me. We grew up together. I took his punch because I’m an asshole. You said so yourself.”

  My heart unwantedly speeds up at his confession. It may not be much, but it’s the first time he’s willingly given me something, and I can’t help but to like the feeling.

  “You don’t have to be an asshole, Jensen,” I say gently. “No one has to be.”

  His jaw flexes as he looks out into the night, before finally turning back and saying, “Maybe I do have to be. No more talking about it.” He takes a seat beside me and we sit here in silence enjoying the quietness of the night together.

  I look his way every so often. It’s hard not to notice how beautiful Jensen is when he’s deep in thought. I want to know what he’s thinking but don’t ask because I’m enjoying this moment together too much.

  A while passes before he stands up. “Goodnight, Cami.” He walks away before I can say anything, and moments later, I hear him ride away on his motorcycle.

  I don’t know what made him come back to tell me that, or why he even stayed with me for as long as he did. I definitely don’t know why it makes me want more, but it does. It makes me want to learn about Jensen Blake and why he is the way he is.

  I’m so confused. He confuses me. When it comes to my new landlord, I don’t know what I want or need, and it’s exhausting.

  Jensen

  I’m not sure what made me give Cami the small bit of the truth that I did a few nights ago, but I have to admit, the genuine look in her eyes when I did felt good.

  Despite me being a complete asshole to her, Cami still wants to know about me. I’ve gotten so used to everyone judging me by what they’ve seen or heard that I’ve forgotten what it feels like to have someone want to know the real me.

  Yet, even knowing this, I can’t help but shut her out just like I’ve done with everyone else around me since that night. It’s easier that way and ensures I won’t hurt her. I can’t afford to hurt anyone else. I’m still suffering the consequences of the last person I broke.

  But Cami is different. She’s not Katherine. They’re nothing alike, and the more I realize that the more I fucking want with her. I don’t deserve more though, and that’s something I keep reminding myself every time I see her.

  “Uh, boss.” Kim cautiously pokes her head inside my opened office door. “Thomas Brown is on the line. Says he’s going to be late on the rent check. What should I tell him?”

  Exhaling, I close my laptop and reach for my keys, about to head home to exercise. I don’t have time for this shit right now. My head is all fucked-up with thoughts of Cami and I need to work it off before I go crazy. “Give him an extra week and I want him to personally deliver his check to the office. No exceptions.”

  She nods in understanding and says, “Yes, Sir. I’ll relay the message.” She then backs out of my office in a hurry and leaves me alone. I’ve been more of a dick than usual since walking through the door two hours ago. I can see why she wants minimum interaction with me. I would too.

  “I heard about that motherfucker confronting you at the work party. That’s fucked-up shit and you know it.” I bring my attention back to the door to Ben poking his head inside this time. He flexes his jaw and steps into my office when I don’t say shit back. “He’s lucky I left before he showed up. That asshole is wrong. He had no clue the shit you went through with Katherine. Anyone would’ve—”

  “It doesn’t matter, Ben.” I slam my fist into the desk in front of me, before running a hand through my hair, pissed off that he had to go and bring up Katherine right now. I can only handle so much shit in my head at once. “Don’t bring her up again. It’s in the past and I want it to stay there. I have enough on my plate. I can’t do this shit right now.”

  He shakes his head and runs and tattooed hand over his blond beard. “That’s what you’ve been fucking saying for the last year and a half. One of these days…” He cracks his neck and looks up to the ceiling. “Your story needs to be told. We may have our problems, because we’re both shitheads, but I’ve always got your back, brother. That won’t change. You’re not the only one who has gotten shit about what happened. I got a piece too.”

  I nod and take out my cigarette pack to pull one out. “I know. But it is what it is. I don’t give a shit what people think of me. I haven’t in a long time, and I don’t plan to start now. It seems you feel the same way.”

  I place the cigarette behind my ear and walk past Ben, needing to get outside so I can breathe. Once outside, I barely light up my smoke and take a drag before Ben steps out the door and lights up one himself.

  He doesn’t say shit and neither do I.

  We’re both deep in our heads at the moment, because we both had to deal with some fucked-up shit that cut deep and scarred us both.

  He’s the first one to toss his cigarette. “Shit’s caught up here, so I’m out. Call me if you need anything. I’m headed to the garage to finish a bike and clear my head.”

  I nod and watch as he climbs on his bike and rides away. Not long after, I finish my smoke and head home in hopes of doing the same damn thing.

  Usually, I’d head to the rental to work my fucked-up thoughts off, but knowing that Cami is moving in soon will only make me think about her more. Not to mention every time I step into that kitchen I’m reminded of how she tastes. And that reminds me of how I don’t want anyone else getting a taste of her again.

  “Fuck!” My legs are shaking by the time I climb off the Leg Press. I’ve worked my body hard on every machine that I own and I still haven’t been able to get control of my thoughts. Cami is still controlling them. I yank off the headphones and toss them against the wall, pissed off.

  I look at the time on my phone to see that I have to leave to pick Benny up from school in less than twenty minutes. The same damn school that Cami teaches at.

  That should fucking help my shit mood. As much as I try denying it, seeing her always does. Which is why I chose to sit outside with her for a while before I headed home the other night. We didn’t even need to talk.
>
  After taking a quick shower, I rush to the school and park outside the fence before jogging to the main door.

  Usually, I’d wait for Benny outside, but on the drive here I came up with the stupid idea of going inside this time, because regardless of what I tell myself when it comes to Cami, after not seeing her for a few days, I want to see her. I can’t deny that shit anymore.

  I know exactly where the fourth-grade classrooms are from when I used to pick up Benny back when he was in the fourth grade. Which surprises the hell out of me that I never once saw Cami. Either that or I was too distracted with Katherine to notice her. With the non-stop shitshow that went on she was my only focus.

  After being buzzed inside, I take a left instead of a right, which causes confusion for a few faculty members that recognize me, but they don’t question me. I guess mine and Cami’s little show in the bathroom at the bar hasn’t gotten around the school yet. That’s a good thing for Cami. It makes me wonder if Douglas getting Susan pregnant has been made public around here yet. There’s no fucking way not one single person from the school didn’t see them shopping for baby clothes that day. That’s part of why I’m here early to begin with.

  I’m not letting Cami look like a fool. People talk in a small town, and I don’t want people saying Douglas left her for another woman because she wasn’t good enough. Fuck that shit. Once people see us together, they’re going to assume they either had a mutual breakup and kept it quiet or that Cami left that douchebag for me. Either option is better than the truth—Cami being cheated on.

  I make sure a few people see me stop at Cami’s door and I offer them a cocky smile, before letting myself into her classroom as if I don’t need to ask permission.

  Her students notice me before she does, but they’re too busy gathering their things to pay much attention to me. After a few seconds one of her students finally says, “Miss Reynolds, there’s a boy here to see you.”